Forgiving Tess

by Kimberly M. Miller

  Tess laughed as she went to the bed and began turning the blankets down. “Oh, I sure hope so,” she said. “I’ve invested too much time in making that happen already.”

  “You said it.” Gram stood and waved Tess away from the bed. “You teaching exercise class again tomorrow?”

  “What? Um, yes, I think so.”

  Vi patted her cheek. “Good. Try working us a little harder, OK, kiddo?”

  Tess nodded, not sure what direction the conversation would go in next.

  Gram smiled again and waved toward the door. “Go on now. Give that boy a call and put him out of his misery.”

  Tess laughed and nodded. “I will, Gram.” She kissed her cheek. “Love you.”

  “I love you too, honey.”

  ~*~

  Tess was so busy for the next two weeks that she scarcely got to talk to Josh, though they did text one another often. That he was thoughtful and sweet was making the situation more difficult. Tess still wondered if her life was a bubble about to burst. She’d managed to find the time to make her grandmother’s requested muffins, sending half a dozen of them to Josh, knowing they were his favorite.

  As soon as they were delivered he tried to call, but when he couldn’t get her on the phone he sent her a text with a picture of the fresh muffins that said, “Is this a marriage proposal? If so, I accept.”

  Josh’s words warmed her, but Tess never forgot reality. She was struck by the millions of reasons they’d never be together. In fact, she was well aware it would take years and distance before anything close to a relationship could happen. Still she burned for it. She was completely in love and sick with missing him.

  “Where you been hiding yourself, Tess?”

  The sound of Justin’s voice immediately caused a bead of sweat on her forehead. She must have been too distracted by her busy morning to notice him sit in her section of the restaurant sometime between the breakfast and lunch rushes.

  Justin smiled but his eyes glittered in a way that made her uncomfortable. He still resented the fact that she’d partied with him, and even dated him for a short time, but wouldn’t let things go as far as he’d wanted. She drew a breath, hoping no one would catch her talking to him. Brittany had to show up for her shift before Tess could leave to shower and go to Pine View to work a double. “I’ve been working,” Tess said trying not to sound as cold as she felt. She drew her notepad from her pocket and held it up, pen poised to take his order. “What can I get you?”

  Justin chuckled, shaking his head. “What you can get me is your manager. Apparently, he’d like to do a little business. Funny you wouldn’t give me that message.”

  “He’s in the back,” Tess said. She turned to leave

  Justin grabbed her wrist and yanked her down beside him forcefully despite his nasty smile. “Too good to talk to me?” he asked, reaching up to touch her cheek.

  Tess pulled free and stood, glancing around. The other table was filled with senior citizens out for their monthly book club gathering. One woman stared in her direction and began to whisper to the others. Tess focused back on Justin, glaring. “Leave me alone.”

  Justin laughed again. “You forget that I know you. You’ll need me again. You’ll be back when all the glory of this working thing wears off. I got positions open.”

  Tess snorted. “I’m sure it’s all perfectly legal.”

  Justin’s eyes clouded for a moment before he schooled his expression, so it appeared he was friendly.

  Tess wouldn’t be fooled. She’d angered him and would, at some point, face his wrath.

  “I run a legitimate business, providing for the needs of this community.” He paused. “Get me some coffee.”

  Tess went behind the counter. She poked her head into the small office next to the kitchen, where Derek was on the telephone. She gestured for him to wrap it up and come out front.

  He nodded, but made no real effort to speed up his conversation.

  Tess went back out to the dining room.

  One of the gentlemen from the seniors’ party approached the register.

  Tess smiled as she took his bill. “I hope you enjoyed your breakfast this morning,” she said.

  The man glanced at her and grunted warily. “I thought this was a respectable place,” he muttered as Tess collected his change from the register and held it out to him. “And then they hired you. No offense.”

  Tess’s mouth went dry.

  The man sighed. “Still you’ve been a pretty good waitress.” He looked her in the eye. “My wife and I hoped you were cleaning up your act…” he nodded in Justin’s direction. “But if you’re still messing around with that trash, I’m afraid maybe we were wrong. You really should get it together.”

  Tess found no words that might convince him she wasn’t getting back into that lifestyle. Instead she remembered the ‘customer is always right’ mantra and forced a smile. “You weren’t wrong, sir. But I have a responsibility to wait on whoever comes into the restaurant.”

  The man nodded. “Well, if I were you I’d refuse that thing service. He’s no good.” The man went back to his table.

  Tess grabbed a coffee mug and filled it, wishing she was in Florida.

  15

  Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.

  Hebrews 11:1

  It was only nine o’clock in the morning and already Josh had finished the lesson plans for this week’s youth group meetings, answered five emails, and was about to research a fun outing for the kids at a local campground. Throwing himself into work felt right, even if he continued questioning his future in the youth ministry.

  The ringing telephone interrupted his progress.

  Josh cleared his throat and pressed the phone to his ear. “This is Pastor Thorne,” he said, trying to force his mind away from the work on his computer.

  “Josh? This is Dave Gorman from North Street Church in Maple Ridge.”

  Josh drew a deep breath. It had only been a few days since he’d sent in his resume. “Hello. How are you Dave?” He forced his voice to remain calm.

  “Good, thanks. Hey, we were wondering if you’d be able to get out here in a few weeks for an interview. Maybe deliver a sermon for us and figure out whether we click.”

  Josh’s insides quaked with the reality of the situation. He was clearly on the short list of candidates for the position. “Yeah, that would be great. I’m sure I can figure something out. Got a date in mind?”

  “I’ll put you on with the secretary in a minute and let you hash out the details with her. I think the board narrowed it down to a few dates but I’m not sure what they are.”

  “OK.”

  “We’re impressed with your resume. I actually got the opportunity to work with your dad for a short time in Asia. He’s fantastic.”

  “Yeah, he is pretty great,” Josh said, fondly.

  “So what makes you want to settle into a pastor’s position over missions work?” Dave asked.

  “I was in the field for a few years and of course growing up we were invested in it whether we wanted to be or not.” He and Dave shared a quick laugh before Josh continued. “But I’m never settled in missions—even if I’m sure I’m supposed to be in ministry. Since I’ve started here in youth ministry things are coming together for me but I think that the next step is to find a home church. One I can serve long-term.”

  “And you think that’s us?”

  Josh laughed again. “Well, I’m not sure. I hope so,” he said. “I think of Maple Ridge as my home since I spent the most consecutive years there growing up.”

  “Well, it’s good to hear that. Your references are excellent and we’re definitely anxious to meet with you.”

  Twenty minutes later the plans were set.

  Josh would be in Maple Ridge in less than two weeks’ time. The only question now was whether he’d surprise Tess or prepare her for his visit.

  ~*~

  Tess hurried down the hall toward the
rec room, kicking herself for being late to the exercise class. But it couldn’t be helped. Ninety-five-year-old Doris Blackburn somehow escaped memory care and was wandering in the wrong wing of the building before Tess caught up with her.

  “I kept them occupied as long as I could,” Morgan said as Tess entered the room. She readjusted her off-kilter bun as she smiled at her friend.

  “Thanks. Crisis averted, Blackburn has been returned to her nest.”

  Morgan laughed. “Mind if I stick around?” she asked.

  “All right, but try not to break a sweat.”

  “I’ll do my best.”

  Tess adjusted the radio at the front of the room before turning to her class. The usual suspects were there—Grandma Vi, her best friends, Betty and Helen, the never-satisfied and newest member of the group, Diana. And no one could miss the men who came mostly to ogle the women. Darryl, Bill, Martin, Larry, Steve, and Henry sat behind the women, talking and laughing as they waited for Tess to start. She smiled and cleared her throat, certain none of them heard her. She waved her hands and said loudly, “All right, kids, let’s get this show on the road.”

  “It’s about time,” Diana muttered, shaking her gray head in disapproval.

  “You said it,” Tess said with a laugh as she hit the button on the radio. “Stand up everyone, let’s get moving…”

  ~*~

  Tess kept the somewhat rowdy group on track as she led them in stretches and basic exercises ranging in difficulty so everyone got a workout. But it was clear they’d accomplished enough as the group members started groaning and complaining that Tess was working them too hard. With a smile, she shut off the radio and said, “All right, let’s call it a day. But you all better come back tomorrow.”

  Gram Vi smiled and waved to Tess as she left with her friends in tow.

  “Great class,” Morgan said, patting Tess on the back. “You sticking around tonight for game night?” she asked.

  “Wouldn’t miss it.”

  “Highlight of your week, huh?”

  Tess laughed. “Well, the overtime is.”

  Morgan laughed.

  Tess caught a motion by the rec room door. The tall man with dark hair turned in Tess’s direction and her stomach dropped. Her father. “Crap,” Tess muttered.

  Morgan leaned close to Tess. “I need to run meds to the second floor,” she said. “But I can stay a few minutes.”

  Tess shook her head and went toward her father. Her mother was talking to Grandma Vi on the couch across from the main desk. With a deep breath and quick prayer, Tess plastered a smile on and headed in their direction. She hadn’t been in the same room with her parents since the last awkward and forced family dinner a few weeks earlier, before she’d gone to Florida. While it hadn’t been a complete disaster, it was apparent that there was still a ways to go on the bridge Tess was trying to build back to her parents’ trust.

  Her father smiled as Tess approached. “Didn’t realize you were working today.” He awkwardly put an arm around her shoulders and hugged her, though he was quick to release his grip.

  “I’m here pretty much every day,” she said, relieved when she spotted Ashley-Marie heading in the opposite direction with a member of the kitchen staff, which meant that, for now, Tess was safe from further embarrassment. “So, what are you guys doing here?” she asked, trying to sound nonchalant even as her head began to pound with the many terrible ways this conversation could go.

  Karen Carson turned from her mother and forced a smile. “We came to take Gram to get her hair done and afterward maybe we’ll get something to eat. She’s needed a day out for a while.”

  “Yeah. Why don’t you bring her to dinner on Sunday?” Stan asked. “It would be nice for everyone to be together.”

  Tess tried to close her mouth when it fell open. The previous dinner ended when her mom asked if there was a middle ground in Tess’s wardrobe between prostitute and bum. Tess stormed out, certain she wouldn’t be invited again. That her parents wanted her to come back could only mean that Stu gave them an earful or that they were willing to move forward too, despite telling her that day that she still had a long way to go to be part of the family again.

  She drew a deep breath. “I’ll check the schedule,” she said carefully. “Ashley-Marie is short-handed, and I’ve been doing doubles the last two weeks. I told her I want Sundays off, so I can get to church but it hasn’t worked out for a while.”

  Stan nodded. “Well, come if you can.”

  Tess nodded too, wishing she could throw her arms around her father’s neck. They’d been close once. Not like she was with Uncle Stu or Brody, but close enough that when she let her father down, Tess wondered if she would ever be able to forgive herself.

  Her mother was another story entirely. Tess never pleased her and was certain she never would. Her mother wanted a little girl and she’d gotten Tess, a true loss in Karen’s mind since her daughter always preferred softball and skinned knees over sugar and spice.

  “Well,” Karen stood, shadowed by Tess who was several inches taller. “It’s time we get going. Gram’s appointment is in twenty minutes and it is getting harder to get her in and out of the car.”

  Tess reached out to help Vi into her sweater. “Have fun, Gram,” she said. “Good workout today.”

  Vi winked. “Got to keep this great figure,” she said. “And don’t you have any fun until I get back.”

  Tess laughed and impulsively hugged her grandmother. “I promise,” she said.

  Gram turned her attention to Stan, affectionately patting him on the cheek. “Well, let’s get me prettied up so we can focus on my dear Tess. I’d like to dance at her wedding,” she said.

  Tess tried to laugh it off but she still grimaced. “How about we get you married off first, Gram?” she asked.

  “Bah! Did that. I’m too old.” She smiled at Tess with a twinkle in her eye. “But don’t think I’m a fool. You’re marrying Joshua Thorne.” She shook her head. “Any girl who makes a man muffins…”

  Tess cleared her throat as she tried to avoid the way her parents were staring at her. “OK, Gram, time to get to the salon. You don’t want to be late, do you?” she urged her forward gently.

  Stan looked at his daughter. “Tess?”

  “I’ll let you know about Sunday.” Tess walked her parents out the door.

  Ashley-Marie appeared. “Well, Theresa, I’ll need you on the schedule double for another week. The new hires can’t start right away.”

  Tess nodded as her phone vibrated in her pocket. “Sure. Is there any way I can come in later on Sunday? I’d like to…”

  Ashley-Marie raised her hands to her temples as she closed her eyes, giving Tess her answer. “You understand what pressure I’m under right now,” she said. “And between your waitressing schedule and now your personal preferences, I can’t do it all.”

  Tess nodded, the fire burning inside again, telling her she needed to get out of town as soon as possible. She was tired to being beholden to everyone else’s plans.

  “Go get the trash on the third floor.” Ashley-Marie lowered her hands. “I’m not sure why the maintenance crew failed to get it this morning.”

  “Right.” Tess turned her attention to taking the steps two at a time in an effort to burn off the energy that woman inspired in her. When she reached the top, she yanked her phone from her pocket. A text from Jed.

  You better make time for me tonight. I want a proper phone date. I miss your voice.

  Tess smiled, glad someone wanted her.

  ~*~

  “I’m beginning to wonder if I left you in jail long enough,” Stu muttered as Tess glared at him. “Hand me that wrench.”

  Grudgingly, Tess grabbed the wrench, which she thrust into his hand.

  Stu worked on her neighbor’s plumbing with a couple grunts accompanying the twisting and banging of tools.

  “I don’t think I’m being unreasonable,” she muttered. “I can’t do this anymore. Justin showing up at
work, Derek hitting on me, Ashley-Marie hates me. She gives me the worst jobs, and….” Tess groaned. “I went to the grocery store the other day and Mrs. Graham kept me in the produce aisle for something like twenty minutes telling me how if I really embraced God’s love I’d be able to make better choices with my life.”

  Stu grimaced as he worked, clearly resisting the urge to explode at his niece for her constant whining. “They got nothing better to fuss about,” he muttered. “Sometimes it takes people a while to admit there’s anything different. Ever give any consideration to getting baptized? Maybe a public statement of your faith would…”

  “Seriously?” Tess shook her head. The idea of getting up in front of the congregation to admit she was a sinner sounded as enticing as a root canal. Besides, everyone in town already knew her sins anyway. What help would it be to rehash them? “No way,” Tess muttered.

  Stu worked for another minute before he responded with a grunt. “How much you got left to pay off?” he asked.

  Tess kicked at the floor tile, annoyed. “I still owe Harrison around a thousand dollars, my parents five-seventy-five, and Brody three hundred. That doesn’t even include the fifteen hundred I owe you.”

  Stu grunted again as he worked. “So…you need to drum up around thirty-five hundred. With what you make you’d need to work how long to do that…?”

  A headache loomed. “Too long. Come on, Uncle Stu!” She stomped her foot. “Why can’t I get out of here and send checks? They did invent the postal system a few years ago.”

  “Very funny, Mouthy.” Stu poked his head out. “Turn on the water.”

  With a clenched jaw, Tess turned the water on while Stu listened, inspecting his work under the sink. He shook his head. “Turn it off.” He went back to work before continuing. “Is this about Josh? You want to go back to Florida?”

  “No,” Tess snapped a little too quickly. She drew a breath. “I put resumes out everywhere. And I don’t even think I should pursue Josh anymore. The whole idea is idiotic.”

  “What is?”