Stu laughed. “Like that niece I used to have,” he said. “Think about it.”
Tess smiled. “I will,” she said. And she meant it.
~*~
Josh tried to catch his breath after sinking another shot against Brody.
“Time out…” Brody groaned as he grabbed a towel and wiped his face. “What is with you?”
Josh shrugged. “I needed to get out some stress.”
Brody sat heavily on a bench nearby and drank deeply from his water bottle before speaking. “You need to let my sister go…or get her back, for heaven’s sake. This in-between stuff is probably killing you both.”
Josh turned to his friend, wishing the words didn’t make his blood boil. He drew a deep breath. “I don’t think she was mine to let go.”
Brody snorted before drinking again. He tossed his bottle aside before speaking. “My parents found her, and Stu said she finally called him yesterday. She’s in Pittsburgh.”
Josh’s heart skipped a beat. “What?” She was that close this whole time? Leave it to Tess to pull that on everyone.
“That’s what she told Stu.” Brody shrugged. “Probably wouldn’t be too hard to find her. I mean, how many hospitals are there?”
“Oh, come on. That doesn’t even make sense. Why would I…?” Josh didn’t bother to finish his sentence. He shook his head instead and sat as Brody stood.
“If you could be honest with yourself for a second, you’d admit there isn’t a choice,” Brody said. He wiped his face again before continuing. “I’ve texted her a bunch of times. I’ve left messages. She knows where I stand. She can call me or text when she’s ready. Have you even reached out to her? Or are you hiding behind your ridiculous need to be liked by everyone in this town?”
“What?” Josh practically leaped to his feet, ready to fight.
But Brody was ready too. He shoved Josh, causing him to stumble backward. “You’re as bad as I am!” he exclaimed. “Only I said what I was thinking and you tried to pretend it wasn’t happening—or that it didn’t matter. But it did, and she knew it, Josh. She saw right through you. You were thinking a pastor can’t really date someone like her—with such a public past.”
Josh reeled from his friend’s words. “I never said that!” he shrieked. “I told her over and over again it wasn’t like that. I begged her to go out with me, Brody. She said no.” Josh sighed, his shoulders sagging in defeat. “We came to an impasse. I didn’t know what to do.”
Brody shook his head. “Maybe show her that it doesn’t matter. I mean, is the job more important, or is she? I’m not saying there’s a right answer—you worked hard and waited a long time to get back here. It’s OK if that’s your choice. But make it clear. Don’t leave her wondering where she really stands or try to have it both ways if that’s not possible.”
Josh wished Brody wasn’t so insightful or willing to speak the truth. He was already overwhelmed with all the ways he’d messed things up and his friend’s words weren’t bringing any solace. “Exactly what should I do?” Josh asked. He suddenly felt as if he was drowning. Again, he tried to think what he should have said or done. His last words to her had been a feeble attempt to shock her. Apparently, it worked. Josh slowly sank to the bench, letting his head fall to his hands. “I called her a coward,” he muttered. “Those are the last words I said to her. That’s what she believes I think.”
Brody glanced at Josh and sat heavily with a sigh. “Stell and I have our problems too, man. That doesn’t mean an apology wouldn’t go a long way.” He cleared his throat. “If you love her, you gotta make this right.”
Josh nodded. “I’ll sure try.”
Brody reached out his hand and pulled Josh to his feet.
The men slowly began to gather their things.
It would take a miracle to make things right again.
~*~
Two weeks later Tess sat outside her parents’ house, quietly watching as Brody handed Stell two trays from the trunk of the car.
Although she was frightened to face everything, and finally put the past behind her, Tess understood that it was time to be an adult and make an effort to right the situation she played her own part in creating. Blaming the world for everything wasn’t fair or accurate. And, the power of her Bible study friends praying for her was unbelievable. Tess was convinced she’d never known such peace even as she wondered how this first meeting with her family would go.
Stell went into the house.
Brody stayed where he was, watching Tess.
She hoped the courage would manifest itself so she could go to him. Finally, it did. With a deep sigh and a silent prayer, she opened the door and got out of her truck, approaching her brother as if he might take a swing at her.
But he seemed scared too. He leaned against the back end of the car, his arms folded over his chest for a moment, and in the next they were open to her.
Tess swallowed the lump in her throat as she went face first into his chest, the tears already flowing.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered as he hugged her. “It was so wrong to say those things.”
Tess sniffed, unable to speak as the tears continued flowing down her cheeks and into the fabric of Brody’s shirt. She was clueless that her family was watching them from the window of the house until Brody whispered, “We can go inside, T. I’m sure everyone’s dying to talk to you.”
She nodded but kept her face buried in his shirt. “I’m sorry I embarrassed you. I’m sorry for all I did,” she murmured. “I’m an awful sister.”
“No.” Brody held her arms firmly and he nudged her back a step so she would stop avoiding his eyes. He held her gaze for a long moment before speaking. “You don’t owe us more apologies. Here and now we go forward as a family.” He exhaled. “You needed us to pray for you and all we did was worry about our hurts over things you couldn’t undo. Things that were already in the past. Well, I’m over them.” He smiled and wiped her cheeks free of tears. “You’re going to be an aunt near Christmas.”
Tess sniffed and nodded. “Yeah. That’s so great.”
Brody nodded. “You can help that little guy or girl learn about being a Carson. Maybe teach the kid how to pitch. Make him—or her—root for all the Pittsburgh before Josh screws them up by talking about the Cleveland.” He gestured toward the house. “Come on.”
Tess allowed him to lead her toward the house, aware that she’d finally, after so incredibly long, come home for good.
~*~
Tess swallowed hard as she went out onto the back porch where Stu and Marlene were drinking tea after dinner. During the meal, the family did its best to talk through things and all appeared to be forgiven. Of course, Tess needed to spend a little more time one on one with her uncle, assuring him that her transformation was finally complete. The woman she’d kept hidden and struggled to avoid for years was home. She accepted that she was herself again, and no matter what anyone else believed, everything happened at just the right time.
Marlene smiled at Tess and stood, giving her a hug. “Hey, honey,” she said. “I’ll check on your mom in case she needs help clearing things. Excuse me.”
Tess nodded, grateful that the woman understood that she needed her uncle to herself. She sniffed back the threatening tears as the door closed. “I like Marlene a lot,” Tess said softly. “Probably even better than I like you.”
Stu smiled. “Feeling’s mutual, kid.”
“Uncle Stu, I…” Tess swallowed.
Stu wrapped his arms around her. “We’re all good. And I love you, Mouthy,” he whispered.
“I love you too,” she said and stepped back, still overcome by how the day was going. “I talked to my Bible study group about everything, and I thought about what you, and Josh, told me. I’ve been reading my Bible—a lot. It’s as if I finally got it. I shouldn’t be ashamed. I needed God to get me straight, but I don’t need to keep beating myself up that I wasn’t perfect. None of us are. It’s not as though He rated my sin on a grande
r scale because it was public. It just—was. And that’s why I needed Him.” She laughed wryly. “I still do.”
Stu nodded. “That’s how it goes. We don’t stop needing Him.” He sat and gestured for Tess to do the same. “I’m so proud of you.”
“I’m not sure I deserve that.”
“Probably not.” Stu gazed out at the field behind the house. “You deal with that Thorne in your side yet?”
Tess smiled, shaking her head. “Not yet, I wanted to talk to you about that. I’m not sure how to go about it.”
Uncle Stu set his tea on the table and nodded. “OK.”
Tess sat beside him slowly and drew a deep breath. It was time to take her life back.
28
Who can find a virtuous woman?
For her price is far above rubies.
Proverbs 31:10
Josh emerged from his office, still thinking about his conversation with Brody weeks earlier. He’d sent a few texts to Tess, but she’d not responded though he could see she’d read them. Since Josh was already convinced he’d ruined the chance of having a relationship with her, he didn’t think he should pursue the matter any further. Still, he wondered if he should ask Stu what hospital Tess was working at and…he shook his head as he headed down the steps toward the first floor of the church. He could think about Tess later. Right now there was a baptism service to do. His first at his new church.
“Hey,” Dave’s voice made Josh jump. He’d been so lost in his daydream he never realized he wasn’t alone. He forced a smile. “What’s up?” he asked.
Dave laughed and handed him a towel. “Alison said you might want an extra towel.”
Josh’s eyebrows knit together in confusion, but he tucked the extra towel under his arm and nodded. “Thanks.”
“You bet. I checked everything. I think we’re ready.”
Josh nodded and followed his friend into the sanctuary. He prayed silently for focus and wisdom, and for God’s words and love to reach those who weren’t ready yet for the commitment of baptism. His mind strayed to Tess again. He shook his head and prayed quickly that she’d see and accept the love all around her.
~*~
Tess squirmed as she peered through the small window into the sanctuary as yet another member of the congregation went forward for baptism. Josh wasn’t aware she was watching, and she knew it was too important of a service for him to be distracted by her presence.
But seeing him in that baptismal pool, and listening to the people give their brief testimonies and making their promises to follow Christ, made Tess’s legs shake. She glanced toward the row where her family was seated.
Stu turn to glance in her direction. He winked.
She winked back. Someone came behind her and she stepped back, hoping she wasn’t in the way.
Dave Gorman smiled at her. “You ready?”
Tess shrugged, fearing the ramifications of the bold statement she’d been preparing to make for weeks. “I think so.”
He gestured for her to follow him. “He’s clueless,” he said as they approached the doors that were closer to Josh. “Wait here and let me talk to him a second. I’ll give you the sign and you can come on in.”
“Are you sure this is OK? I don’t want to…”
Dave smiled. “Trust me. No one will turn away a woman who wants to stand up and say she’s following Christ.” He paused as Josh helped the last person from the pool. “Wait here. I’ll be right back.”
Tess stepped out of sight as Dave opened the door and hustled back inside so he could tell Josh there was one more baptism to go.
~*~
“I want to encourage you to pray for each of those who took this public step of faith today and…” Josh’s voice drifted off as he noticed Dave approaching from the side door.
Dave smiled confidently at the congregation and held up a finger, asking them to give him a moment with the pastor.
Josh waited as Dave covered the microphone with one hand so he could lean close and whisper, “There’s one more…”
“No...Mrs. Wilson was the last one and I can’t…” he stammered, hating to be put in such a position as the congregation sat expectantly watching him. He glanced back at his friend, wondering if he’d forgotten the protocol. The precedent had always been for the senior pastor to meet with each person who’d asked to participate in the baptism service. Josh had done so and listened to their stories in advance so as to be certain of their commitment to their faith. He couldn’t let someone slip in at the last minute without being certain of their understanding of this important step in their faith.
But something in Dave’s smile stopped him. “I talked to her myself,” he assured Josh. “Alison did too. Numerous times. Trust me. We followed through. There’s not a thing to worry about.”
“Why didn’t she come to me?”
Dave shook his head. “Work commitments. Come on, let’s not keep everyone waiting.”
Reluctantly Josh nodded, wondering if this type of chaos was a normal occurrence at the church. He made a mental note to bring it up at the staff meeting to ensure such a thing didn’t happen again. He didn’t like being put on the spot in front of his congregation.
Dave took his hand way from the microphone and gestured to the side door. He cleared his throat.
“It, um, Pastor Dave has asked me to baptize one more member of our congregation,” Josh said unsurely as the door opened.
Tess entered and set her towel aside.
Josh reached back to hold onto the side of the pool so he didn’t fall. He swallowed hard as she confidently got into the pool, seeming so much like the woman he’d met in Florida. The one he’d fallen in love with.
She winked before smiling at him. “It was your turn for a surprise,” she whispered.
Josh nodded dumbly.
Tess nodded toward the seats that were nearly filled with people. “Maybe you should address your congregation there, pastor.”
Josh returned to the moment and cleared his throat as he leaned toward the microphone again. “Uh, yes,” he muttered, forcing his gaze to the crowd even as he looked back at Tess. Her hair was in a simple ponytail, but it was her sparkling brown eyes that continued to capture his attention. She wasn’t afraid anymore. Josh’s hopes soared as he said, “Do you want to share your story with us, Tess?”
Tess nodded. “My parents always brought me to church so I definitely knew about God my whole life, but when things were good I didn’t think I really needed Him. So…a lot of people already know this but when I was in college I hurt my shoulder so bad that I couldn’t play softball anymore,” she paused to release a deep breath.
Josh took the opportunity to show her he was proud of her. He gently touched her back and waited while she collected herself.
She smiled at him briefly and continued. “Softball was my life. So, I guess I thought I was invincible when I could still play.” She smiled at many of the people who’d shunned her only a short time ago. “I expected to always play softball and be told how great I was. When that was taken away from me, I was completely lost. And I looked for support and comfort in all the wrong places.
“I made a lot of mistakes and hurt a lot of people.” She swallowed, blinking back tears, eventually giving over to them. She continued even as they spilled down her cheeks. “But during that time, all those low moments, my family never gave up on me. They were praying all along. But it was…it was my Uncle Stu who showed me Christ’s love and told me about salvation. Real salvation. And grace I didn’t deserve then or now. I’d heard about it before so it wasn’t new…but somehow it was the right moment and I asked Jesus into my life. And I am never, ever letting Him go.”
The congregation applauded.
The entire Carson family was crying.
Josh smiled and repositioned himself so that he could get one arm around Tess.
She nudged him with her elbow and whispered, “You drop me, and I’ll never let you forget it, butterfingers…”
&n
bsp; Josh tried not to laugh but a chuckle escaped before he was able to get control. He cleared his throat. “No way,” he whispered. “Cross your arms over your chest…” He leaned close to the microphone. “Having professed your faith in Jesus Christ to forgive your sins, I ask you Theresa Carson, do you renounce Satan and all of his works?”
“I do.”
“And do you intend to follow Christ and His teachings, following him as your Lord and Savior, all the days of your life?”
“Absolutely.”
Josh didn’t mask the joy that seeped into his voice. “On your profession of faith, I now baptize you in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost.” Josh lowered her quickly into the water and back up to find the smile on her face more than he could stand. He choked back the emotion. “Congratulations…” he said softly as the congregation erupted in applause.
Tess smiled.
Josh turned away, drawing a deep breath in an effort to regain his composure. He exhaled slowly and leaned close to the microphone.
Tess gently squeezed his hand under the water before she slipped past him and accepted Dave’s help from the pool.
“Well,” Josh said with a smile as he did his best to keep his eyes on his congregation instead of following Tess when she ducked out of the sanctuary, a towel wrapped around her shoulders. He lifted his eyebrows as he focused on Brody, Stu, and the rest of the Carson clan. “If there are no other surprises, I would say that concludes our baptism service this evening.” The congregation chuckled as he waited a moment before saying,
“Let’s pray together for all those who made this important commitment to the Lord tonight.”
~*~
Tess changed her clothes in the women’s restroom, tossing the jeans and long-sleeved T-shirt she’d been wearing moments before into a bag. She quickly toweled her hair dry and fluffed it in a weak effort to make herself more presentable. She smiled at her reflection in the bathroom mirror for a brief moment and realized instantly that her hair or lack of make-up didn’t matter to Josh. For the first time in her life, a man was interested in her heart, not her face or her body. His care for her centered on the person she’d become, not the temporary, superficial beauty that would fade in the years ahead.
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