Charlotte's Tangled Web: L.B. Pavlov

by L B Pavlov

  Jack did not leave. He obviously didn’t trust me to be alone with Daniel. My boys loved Daniel as if he was their own brother, but they did not understand the ramifications of this relationship. They didn’t have a daughter who was born with a God-given gift. It was my job to help her find her way, regardless of who got hurt along the way.

  “That’s why she wants to go to Notre Dame?” he asked, and I could tell that he was deeply wounded by what I had told him.

  “That’s what she told me,” I said firmly.

  “Jack, I don’t know if her dream is Stanford, to be honest with you. I agree with you that she should utilize her gifts, but if she doesn’t want it to be at Stanford, she can run on her own at Notre Dame, can’t she? I give you my word that I will make the time every day to help her train, Jack. I can promise you that. I love her. I love her so much,” he said sincerely.

  This kid was as bad as she was. I realized that this situation was out of control and that was why she had made this rash decision. They were two kids; they had no idea what love was. And if it were meant to be, it would work out later in life when they were older. I was justified in what I was doing, but I knew that it was wrong.

  “Daniel, do you love her? I mean, really love her?” I asked seriously.

  “More than anything,” he said without giving it a second’s thought.

  I believed him. I never doubted that they loved each other. But it still didn’t make this right. She needed to follow her dreams.

  “Well, Daniel, when you love someone, you are willing to sacrifice yourself. And if you really love Charlotte, you won’t hold her back. You won’t keep her from her dreams just because she is afraid you will be with another girl. She doesn’t trust you. That is not love. And if you allow her to do this, you are being selfish, Daniel,” I said sternly.

  “Dad! That is enough,” Jack said frostily.

  I looked over at him. He was disgusted with me, and a part of me was disgusted with myself. But I had no choice. “Please stay out of this, Jack. You need to go home,” I said, and Jack turned and stormed out of the house.

  The boys were angry, but they wouldn’t upset Charlotte with this. They knew better. They would just be there for her.

  “OK, Jack. I get it. She needs to go to Stanford. She wants to go, and I’m glad that she told you that because she hasn’t told me that. And I’m disappointed that she doesn’t trust me because I would never be unfaithful to her. I promise you that,” he said forcefully.

  “It’s not me who needs to believe that,” I said, “and unfortunately she doesn’t. And that’s a serious problem in your relationship. Trust is important. Maybe you can take this year to prove yourself, and if it’s meant to be, you will be together when you are older,” I said, staring him down. His eyes were watering.

  “So what are you saying?” he asked quietly.

  “She won’t leave if you’re together. Daniel, I logged in to her trust account a few minutes ago. She has already transferred one semester’s worth of tuition into her checking account. She was worried her grandfather or I would freeze her account. This is not a girl who is going to give up. You need to do the right thing here if you really love her like you say you do,” I said, and he finally got it.

  “You want me to end it and force her to go to Stanford,” he said, and his honest eyes were filled with tears.

  I felt a pull on my heart, but the voice in my head said to go for the kill right now. This was for Charlotte. My duty was to protect my daughter. He would be fine. Daniel would have a new girlfriend by next week, I thought, as I justified what I was doing to this kid once again.

  “Yes. If you really love her, you will do what’s right. That’s what love is, Daniel, and sometimes it hurts.”

  “I don’t know if I can,” he wailed, and I could hear the devastation in his voice.

  I had known Daniel since he was five years old. What had happened to me that I could justify what I was doing to him? But I somehow did it. “You have to do what you have to do, and I believe you can figure this out.”

  He was frozen on the couch, his hands in his hair, looking completely shattered.

  “I spoke to Coach Little tonight, Daniel. Charlotte hadn’t said anything to him yet. We worked it out, and she is leaving Sunday after graduation for California. He is getting her housing arranged. She will train at Stanford over the summer. You just have to get through the week. Then you will both have some distance for the year, and you can give her a chance to live her dream,” I said quietly.

  “Does she know that she is leaving?” he asked.

  “Not yet. We will speak tomorrow. Lenora and I will drive her to and from school this last week. I am canceling the graduation party. You are welcome to have your own, but Charlotte will not be attending or taking part in it. Please respect that, Daniel. You can end it with her on Monday at school and then just stay away from her. I think she’s proven what she’s willing to do for you, and we don’t need any more crazy stunts from Charlotte,” I said, turning away toward the door, and I left him with one final thought. “And, Daniel, don’t make me cut that tree down. Do the right thing and stay away from her,” I said, and I walked out the door.

  I had done what I needed to do for my daughter. Now I would have to handle Charlotte, and she was stubborn.

  I was still sitting on the couch when my parents walked through the door. I hadn’t moved since Jack Sr. had left thirty minutes before. I was numb from what all had happened. Five hours ago I had been the happiest I had ever been, and now my world was crashing down around me.

  “Hi, sweetie,” my mom said as she walked through the door. They both stopped dead in their tracks at the sight of me.

  “Daniel, what’s wrong?” my dad said, sitting down to face me.

  “It hasn’t been a good night,” I said unnecessarily. I explained to my parents what had happened at dinner, and how Charlotte had informed everyone about her acceptance to Notre Dame.

  “Did you know about it?” my mom inquired quietly.

  “No, she hadn’t told me,” I said. “I would have talked her out of it, and talked her out of telling her dad, that’s for sure,” I added, and my tone grew angry. “Jack says that she wants to go to Stanford and that she told him it’s her dream, and that she was only going to Notre Dame because she doesn’t trust me,” I said, and even I recognized the hurt in my voice. “He said she is not going to leave if we’re together, and I know he’s right, but I don’t know what to do.”

  “I think you need to talk to Charlotte,” my mom said and paused before continuing, “Daniel, don’t let Jack bully you into thinking you have done anything wrong.”

  “He’s not bullying me, Mom, he is protecting his daughter. He’s not going to lie to me about what she said, and I have to listen because I can’t talk to her right now. I just wish I could have talked to her before all of this happened.”

  “Can you call her now?” Dad asked hopefully.

  “No, he took her phone and computer away, and he is going to be driving her to and from school every day for this last week of school. He wants me to stay away from her for a while. She is leaving Sunday for Stanford. Jack is moving her away,” I said with despair in my voice.

  “What? How did this happen? What is he thinking?” Mom shouted.

  “He is thinking of what’s best for his daughter, and it’s definitely not me. He is canceling the graduation party. And I don’t want to celebrate anything without her, OK?” I said, and now I could feel the tears collecting precariously in my eyes. I didn’t know what to do.

  “Oh my goodness, Daniel, Jack is overreacting,” she decided, and her voice was shaky and upset.

  “Daniel, you have not done anything wrong. You did not encourage her to go to Notre Dame. Jack needs to let his daughter make her own decisions. And he can’t blame you if she wants to be with you,” my dad said sternly.

  “She isn’t going to go to Stanford just because he tells her to go. I know Charlotte better than
anyone. Apparently she has already accessed her trust fund and transferred the first semester’s tuition into her account. Charlotte is stubborn. She will give it all up, and for what? Because she is afraid I will leave her? How can I let her do that? I can’t be that selfish,” I said, still struggling with what to do. “Jack said that when you love someone you sacrifice your own happiness,” I said sadly.

  “Yes, but none of this sounds like Charlotte. It sounds like a desperate dad making decisions for her!” my mom said angrily.

  “Mom, she’s the one who told him that she was only doing this because she was afraid I would leave her, and I do believe that Charlotte would sacrifice everything for me, and I would do the same for her,” I said growing frustrated.

  “Well, what are your options, son? It doesn’t sound like Jack is giving you any,” my dad said, sounding angry too.

  “I just think that when two people love each other, that should be enough,” Mom said, grasping my hands.

  “It should be, but this is complicated. I mean, she could go to the Olympics. Can I live with myself if I’m the reason that she gives that up?” I asked rhetorically, even more upset and resting my muddled head in my hands.

  “You are both young, Daniel. If you love each other deeply, that won’t go away, son. Maybe this just needs some time. Maybe you just need to try to talk to her and make her understand,” Dad said quietly.

  “Let me ask you both something. Will you answer me honestly?” I asked in a resolute voice.

  “Of course,” they both said in unison.

  “Would you do whatever it took for the other to be happy,” I asked, “even if it meant that you would be miserable?”

  They both looked at each other, and they didn’t need to answer me with words. They had said enough with their eyes.

  “Mom, please cancel the graduation party. I just want to get through this week,” I said dejectedly, and I went to my room to think things out. I would have to talk to her on Monday. I had no way to contact her before then. I would try to make her see that we needed to go to different schools and be apart this first year. I would have to try everything that I could to convince her to leave.

  It would be difficult because there was an enormous part of me that wanted Charlotte and I to just run away and ignore everyone’s advice. I would love to go to school together and have her at my games and spend every day with her while she was training. I was a selfish person; Jack was right. How do you rob someone of her dream and call that love?

  I hoped that she would just agree and I wouldn’t have to lie to her or make something horrible up in order to get her to go. I fell asleep after hours of arguing with myself and slept most of Sunday away. I was depressed, and every bone in my body ached. I was dreading Monday. I couldn’t dismiss the thought that Charlotte and I would now be separated within a week.

  Not being able to talk to her was very difficult, especially with all that was going on. I definitely couldn’t go near the tree now, and I was still in shock that Jack Sr. was aware of it. All of it was enough to make me want to sleep for a very long time.

  I was beside myself. My dad had lost his mind. I had no way to contact Daniel, and my heart was heavy. I didn’t know if he was mad at me about my decision to go to Notre Dame or if he was happy. I was so sad that he didn’t climb the tree to see me. It made me feel like maybe he wasn’t happy about my news. Maybe he didn’t want me to go to Notre Dame with him. My dad hadn’t spoken to me since our fight the night before. I had no idea what was going on, and it was already Sunday afternoon.

  My brothers had stayed away. They had peeked in my room this morning and said an unusually fast good-bye. When they hugged me, I felt like they were scared for me, as if they were trying to warn me in some way. Was something bad going to happen? Could my dad stop me from going to Notre Dame? Would he really do that if he knew it was what I wanted? Lenora had brought some toast and fruit up to me. She was also very quiet when she came in, almost on edge. Dad sure had everyone walking on eggshells. I needed to see Daniel. He was the one person who would be on my side.

  There was a knock at my door. I hoped it was my dad returning my phone and computer. “Come in,” I said quietly.

  It was my father, but he didn’t look any friendlier than he did the night before. He pulled out my desk chair to sit down and turned it to face me.

  “Good morning, Charlotte,” he said intensely.

  “Good morning, Dad,” I said with no emotion. I felt like he was about to drop a bomb on me.

  “Well, I have done a lot of thinking since last night, and I want to let you know what is going to happen now.” He continued, “I’m hoping that you accept this and that you don’t fight me on it because I am doing what is best for you. And when you are a parent one day you will understand that.”

  His word choice alluded to the fact that what he was about to say was not what I wanted to hear, but he was basically letting me know that I had no choice. But I had Daniel, and I would run away with him if I had to. So bring it on, Dad, I thought “OK, Charlotte, what you did by applying to Notre Dame was wrong. Going behind my back and Coach Little’s back was selfish and immature. You were wrong. Period. You have a full-ride, four-year scholarship to Stanford University and that is where you are going to attend college. You will not disgrace your mother’s name by breaking a contract with her university.” He paused to observe my reaction.

  Oh no you didn’t just go there, Jack Ford! Did he really just use my deceased mother to win his battle? He was going to fight dirty. It was time to take the gloves off and prepare for battle. My brothers and Lenora were trying to warn me. My dad was out of control.

  “Go on,” I said, positioning myself to take in all of his hurtful words.

  He was clearly expecting tears and apologies already, but he would be waiting a long time—or so I thought. “So you will attend Stanford University, but you will be leaving much sooner than you anticipated. You will leave one week from today. Coach Little and I have spoken, and he has arranged your housing to be available sooner rather than later. You will train with your team all summer as I should have insisted on from the beginning. But as you pointed out last night, I have been an absent father for a while—I believe you said I had actually been an absent father for the past thirteen years. But guess what, Charlotte, I’m not absent anymore. I am going to be present every minute of every day until next Sunday. You will attend your graduation, and then you will leave Sunday morning for Northern California. Jack is going to come home and fly with you to California and help you get settled. I have a moving truck arriving here on Saturday afternoon to take your car and all of your boxes for you. They will arrive in California on Monday or Tuesday. Your graduation party has been canceled as well. You have not given us any reason to celebrate with your recent choices. Lenora will spend the week packing you up. If you have any particular things you want her to pick up from the store, you will make her a list. You are not to leave this house for anything with the exception of school. I will allow you to attend school this week, but Lenora or I will take you to and from school each day, and then you are to come home. You will run each day only on the treadmill. You are not to run outside until you are in California. Am I clear?” he said, and his eyes, boring into mine, were filled with power and ugliness. I had never seen my father like this.

  “Who are you? What’s wrong with you, Dad?” I said as desperate weeping sounds escaped my throat. I wiped my tears and searched his eyes for a shred of familiarity. He did not move in any way to comfort me.

  “Do you understand me, Charlotte?” he said again in an unrelenting tone.

  “I don’t want to leave Sunday, Dad. Please, please don’t do this. Please let me talk to Daniel, Dad, I’m begging you. I will do what you want, I will go to Stanford if you just let me talk to him,” I said hysterically.

  “I have spoken to Daniel for you, Charlotte. He agrees with this plan. He feels that you need to go to Stanford as well, and you both need to sprea
d your wings on your own this year. Daniel was quite pleased with this arrangement,” he said coldly, looking into my eyes for a reaction.

  “You are a liar! He would never say that!” I said, bursting into rage-filled tears. “Why are you trying to hurt me, Dad? Because I don’t want to go to the same school that Mom went to? Do you really think that Mom would care? Why don’t you read her journals so that you can remind yourself what kind of person Mom was? Because she was everything that you are not!” I spat, venom dripping from my lips.

  “Are you finished?” he asked calmly.

  “No! Do you know what the very last thing that Mom wrote in her journal was before she died? The afternoon before she died, she wrote a journal entry. Guess what it said, Dad? It said that she only wished she had more time to be with the people that she loved. More time with her four children and her loving husband. More time to love them. Guess what, Dad? There was no mention of what college she wanted us to attend in her final words. There was no mention of the Olympics. There was no mention of running at all because that is not what life is about. Why don’t you take five minutes out of your life and read them!” I shouted angrily.

  “OK, Charlotte, we are done here. I will return your phone and computer to you before you leave for California. If you need a computer for school this week, you will use mine in the office. I will track every single place you go on it so don’t consider doing anything outside of schoolwork. I have also closed your checking account—I am a signer on it because it was opened before you were eighteen years old. Your trust fund has also been frozen as of this morning. I spoke to your grandfather last night.” He glared at me with eyes that were now empty.

  My dad was void of all emotion. He had won. The only chance I had of doing what I wanted rested solely on Daniel. He would be the only person who could help me. Had Dad really spoken to him? Would Daniel really turn against me? I had to wait to see him at school the next day to find out what was going on.