by L B Pavlov
James gave me all of her information. I would have to shower and change quickly after my game to get to the airport. James was going to take me. I had a rental car waiting for me when I arrived at the San Jose airport.
I had been tracking Charlotte’s season, and it constantly reminded me that I had done the right thing. She was exactly where she needed to be. She had started her season off by surprising everyone with a third place and a second place, and then two weeks later she won her first large, collegiate-level invitational and amazed everyone even more. Charlotte was in her element. She was running with the best college runners in the country, and she was excelling.
I saw a picture of her after winning the invitational, and she looked so beautiful. She definitely looked like she still needed to put some weight back on, which I assumed was due to the intense training she must be doing, and I stared at her mesmerizing brown eyes and her beautiful smile. I hoped that she would understand what I was going to tell her and why I had done it. If Charlotte had come with me to school, she would be running alongside me while I rode a bike. How would that have pushed her? Now she was an elite college athlete, and people were talking about what a bright future she had. Charlotte’s father was right; it would have been selfish to rob her of this.
Being faithful to Charlotte proved easy for me too. I was busy, and when I wasn’t I was thinking about her. Crystal Bryant was still hanging around like an annoying groupie at games, and there were plenty of girls who were interested in guys just because they played football, but no one had so much as tempted me.
I was happy we had the weekend off from racing, and I could catch up on studying. It was also my birthday, and I had plans to go to dinner with Misty, Todd, Nick, and Natalie—I had agreed to be a fifth wheel, but they were my friends. We would have an early dinner, and I could come back to my room to study.
I knew that Daniel had a game today, so I was anxious to see how he did. I went for a run in the morning with Nick and Misty, and it was starting to get a little chilly, even by my Indiana standards. California had much calmer weather, but there was a chill in the air that morning that we hadn’t had before.
I wanted to spend the afternoon studying, and they agreed we would meet at our room at 6:00 p.m. to go to dinner. I kept checking my phone for updates, but they hadn’t posted anything yet on the Notre Dame game. I decided to take a short nap and then get ready for dinner.
I ended up sleeping much longer than I had planned, and I had fifteen minutes to get ready. It was colder outside, so I decided to wear jeans and my cream, knit sweater with a pink scarf. I smelled the scarf as I wrapped it around my neck, and it smelled like Daniel. The last time I had worn it was when I was with him, and I kept wrapping it around his neck when we were sitting in the game room and goofing around.
I closed my eyes for just a minute to hold on to the memory, and I could see his beautiful smile and those eyes, and I could feel his arms wrap around me. Today had been particularly difficult because Daniel always made my birthday such a big deal, and now it just felt like a regular day. Everyone was waiting for me, but I took a second to check my phone. I had lots of birthday texts from friends and family but none from Daniel. I thought maybe he would send me a text for old time’s sake, but he didn’t. Daniel had moved on. I wondered if I ever could.
Misty, Todd, and Nick were all waiting for me. “Where’s Natalie?” I asked, confused.
“She’s meeting us there. She got stuck at work, so she is just going to go straight to the restaurant,” Nick said.
“Don’t you want to bring a jacket, Charlie?” Misty asked.
“I’m from Indiana, guys! This is nothing for me,” I announced proudly, and they all laughed.
As soon as we got outside, I realized how wrong I was. It was freezing. It was much colder than it had been that morning. The car was all the way across the parking lot, and I was shaking. Nick pulled his coat off, wrapped it around me, and hugged me tightly to warm me up as we walked.
“Take your coat back, you’re going to freeze!” I said, my teeth chattering.
“Oh, what happened to the big Indiana girl who thinks this is nothing?” he said, laughing as he hugged me tightly, planting a kiss on my freezing cheek. “Happy birthday, freshy!” he said, and we all laughed.
Nick had become like a big brother to me. When we got to the car, he grabbed my hands and tried to warm them with his breath while Todd unlocked the doors. “Damn, Charlie, you should have brought a coat and gloves, you’re freezing!” he said as we hopped in the car. He and I got in the back seat. “Are you doing OK today?” he asked. Nick knew that Daniel and I had always spent my birthday together, and he realized that today would be tough for me.
“Yeah, I’m good. Thanks!” I said.
“You didn’t hear from him?” he asked quietly so no one else could hear.
“No, I didn’t, but why would he call? We aren’t together anymore,” I said, turning to look out the window so I could compose myself.
“Well, he’s a fool! And I’m glad that we get to celebrate with you,” he said sweetly.
When we walked into the restaurant, I was shocked when a large group yelled, “Surprise!” Natalie was front and center and smiling. She had gone early to decorate. They had just made up the work story. She and Misty had planned this whole thing. They had the whole team come to dinner and had reserved a room in the restaurant that was decorated with balloons and candy sprinkled all over the tables. Even Coach Little and his wife Angie had come. It was so thoughtful of them to make such a fuss over me. We ate too much and laughed a lot. Everyone sang “Happy Birthday” to me, and they all really made me feel special.
I was exhausted by the time that we got home. We said good-night, and Misty and I headed down the hallway to our room.
There was something at our door, and as we got closer, my stomach dropped. There was a bundle of pink balloons, a bouquet of pink roses, and a copy of Charlotte’s Web placed against the door. No card. No sign of anybody.
I placed my hands over my mouth. “Oh my gosh. Daniel was here,” I said, looking at Misty.
“What? Why would he come all the way here and leave?” she asked.
We carried everything inside and sat on the couch trying to figure out what had happened. “I don’t know. He couldn’t have come, he had a game today.” I raced to get my laptop to read about the game. “Yes! He had a game in Indiana today. He couldn’t have been here. And why would he come and leave?” I said, puzzled. Had he asked someone to put this stuff at my door because he felt bad?
“Do you think someone else knows that my favorite color is pink? I mean, I guess someone could get me Charlotte’s Web because of my name?” I said, still trying to work the mystery out in my mind.
“I don’t know.” Misty was deep in thought. “But we need to find out,” she said, and she ran out in the hall and started knocking on doors and inquiring if anyone saw who left the stuff at our door.
No one had seen anyone except for Kim Lee, who told us she saw a guy at our door set the stuff down, but she never saw his face. She only saw him walking away.
“Was he tall?” I asked.
“I’m four-foot-ten, Charlie, everyone is tall to me,” she said, laughing, “but yes, he seemed pretty tall and muscular-looking. But he had a baseball hat on, so I couldn’t see his hair, and I never saw his face,” she said apologetically.
We went back in our room. “It couldn’t be?” I said.
“From what you have told me about him, it wouldn’t shock me if he made a romantic gesture like this, Charlie,” she said, thinking some more. “Hey, text your brother and just ask if Daniel is in Indiana. You don’t have to say why you’re asking,” she said excitedly.
“That’s a good idea, but it’s so late there. It’s already after midnight here,” I said.
“Well, then he’ll respond in the morning. It doesn’t hurt to ask,” she said, encouraging me to send it.
I texted James and simply asked if
Daniel was in Indiana. I didn’t explain why I was asking, and I fell asleep waiting for the response. I had gone to sleep without crying for the first time since Daniel and I had broken up. I think it was the sheer excitement of the thought that Daniel had possibly remembered my birthday.
When I opened my eyes in the morning, I grabbed my phone, and there was a text from James. It said that Daniel was in Indiana. My heart sank. He hadn’t remembered. Or maybe he had found someone to put those things on my door? I just couldn’t imagine that a stranger would know that I loved pink and to get me that book.
Tears streamed down my face. I had wanted the text to say that Daniel wasn’t in Indiana, and maybe he had come to see me. I wished that he missed me the way that I missed him. I put on my headset, and I drifted away into my dreams.
I woke up Sunday, and my head was pounding. I had had the worst and longest day of my life the day before, and I had no intention of getting out of bed all day. What in the hell had I been thinking? I had played in a football game and then flown across the country to surprise my girlfriend, who thought that we had broken up because I told her that I cheated on her. I had to see her with her new boyfriend and fly all the way back home. What kind of messed up plan was that?
“Daniel, are you up?” It was James, and he sounded concerned.
“No, I’m not up. And I’m not getting up today,” I said grumpily.
“Dude, what are you doing back here? Why is my sister texting me and asking if you are in Indiana? What happened?” he asked.
Of course James was confused. He dropped me off at the airport the day before right after my game. He hardly expected me back this quickly. I sat up in bed to try to explain, my head still pounding. I hadn’t eaten since the previous morning, and it was hard to think straight.
“Well, I got to San Jose. Stopped for flowers and balloons. Drove to her dorm. As I was getting everything together to walk in, I saw her come out of her dorm with three other people. The other girl was holding hands with one of the guys, and Charlotte was with the other guy. I couldn’t go talk to her when she was with another guy,” I said angrily.
“What guy? What did you see? How do you know it wasn’t a friend?” he said, confused.
“It wasn’t a friend, James, trust me. He wrapped her in a coat and had his arms wrapped around her, and he kissed her cheek while they walked,” I said with disgust in my voice. “And when they got to the car, he grabbed her hands and held them, and then he kissed them or something,” I said, the anger in my voice growing.
“What? Are you sure?” He was still puzzled.
“Dude, I flew across the country to see her, I’m sure. She was on a double date,” I said, flustered.
“What do you want me to tell her? Should I say you were there?” he asked quietly.
“No! Tell her that I was in Indiana. I’m not going to make her feel bad,” I decided.
After he replied, he looked at me and asked, “Did she see you? Why is she asking?”
I had completely forgotten about the gifts.
“I left all the stuff at her door. At least she would get her pink presents and her book. Now she will probably think that her boyfriend left them there for her,” I said, getting worked up again.
“Daniel, listen to me, I don’t think she has a boyfriend. What did he look like?” He asked calmly.
“He looked like a fucking predator!” I snapped, and he started to laugh. “You think this is funny?” I asked, offended.
“Dude, I know my sister. She is a mess over you. Now, you asked me not to get involved, and I haven’t, but I really don’t think she is ready to start dating. Trust me on this one,” he said kindly.
“Well that fucker thinks they’re dating. He had his hands all over her. It took all my strength not to jump out of that car and beat the shit out of him. But then I remembered…” I paused.
“What?” James asked.
“That I’m the idiot who broke up with her and lied to her to make her hate me,” I said.
“What was the lie? What did you finally say to get her to leave? Because I know Charlie, and she doesn’t give up easily,” he asked.
“I told her that I cheated on her with Crystal Bryant,” I said quietly.
“Well, I suppose that would do it,” he said, shaking his head. “This was not your best plan, Daniel.”
I knew that he was right.
Over the next few weeks, I submerged myself in football and school. I was pretty down about what had happened when I went to see Charlotte. I had decided to see if I could talk to her over Thanksgiving, but I was nervous that she was going to get involved in a relationship with that birthday prick.
James came charging into our room. “Dude, is this the guy you saw with my sister?” he asked, proudly handing me his phone.
“Yes,” I said angrily. “Why?” I asked.
“That’s Nick Stevens. We met him at the race. He is on the team with her, but he has a girlfriend. His girlfriend gave Charlie a surprise party for her birthday that night,” he explained. “I just talked to her, and she was telling me all about her party, and how Nick’s girlfriend and her roommate surprised her. She had gone to the restaurant to decorate so that was Nick walking her to the car. Dude, he’s just a friend,” he said happily.
“Are you sure?” I asked cautiously.
“Yes, and I even joked and asked if she was seeing anyone,” he said, smiling, just waiting for me to beg to hear what she said.
“And?” I prompted him impatiently.
“And she laughed. She said she was busy with school and busy with cross-country, and she had no interest in dating. And that’s a quote!” he said, self-satisfied with his sleuthing.
I felt like the weight of the world had just been lifted off of my shoulders.
“Well, you know what Wednesday is, right?” I asked, still cautious.
“Of course,” he said. “What are you going to do?”
“I don’t know yet,” I said, beginning to make a plan.
Wednesday was the anniversary of Charlotte’s mom’s death, so Tuesday night was the night that I traditionally stayed with her. I had planned to try to get together with her over Thanksgiving the following week, but maybe I could text her on Tuesday, I thought, just to let her know that I was thinking of her and make plans to meet the following week. That’s what I would do. I didn’t want to call her because I was afraid that she would get upset.
Charlotte had NCAA championships that coming up weekend before Thanksgiving, so I didn’t want to do anything to mess her up. She had done really well at her last two races, finishing fourth in one race and second in the other. At the collegiate level, that was extraordinary for a freshman. It was possible she would finish in the top ten at the NCAA championships if she ran a good race. I didn’t want to do anything to make it more difficult for her. She had a lot on her mind.
I was busy with school, and finals would be coming up after Thanksgiving break. I had the best grades I had ever gotten in my life, so I was pleased. Our football team had a shot to go to the Rose Bowl, and if we were lucky we would get to play USC. I kept my mind focused, and things were looking good.
When I woke up Tuesday morning, I felt a sense of urgency about Charlotte. We had always spent this day together. I knew that she would wake up upset. I would have given anything to be there with her. I wished I could just call and talk to her. I had no idea how Charlotte felt about me anymore. I knew that she would not just stop loving me, but I also knew that I had deeply hurt her, and I wasn’t sure if she would hear me out or if she hated me right now. The phone was not the best way to confront the issue. I wished that we could talk face to face, but that would not be an option.
I picked up my phone, and I texted her. It had been almost six months since we had talked. I was very nervous, and I wanted to make sure that I worded it correctly.
Hey, Charlotte, I wanted to let you know that I was thinking about you today. I don’t want you to feel alone, and I wish we were
n’t so far apart so that we could talk. I wanted to see if you would be willing to meet with me when you come home next week. I have some important things that I need to tell you, and I think it would be best to talk in person. Do you come home on Wednesday?
Hi, Daniel, I’m surprised to hear from you. Today is not a good day but hearing from you makes it better. Thank you for remembering. There are a lot of things that I want to say to you too, and I have some questions that I really need you to answer. I come home on Wednesday late afternoon. My plane lands at around 3:00 p.m. When did you want to meet?
Well, I’d like to meet today, but with you in California and me here, I will have to wait. Would you let me pick you up from the airport and take you to dinner? Or did you want to have your dad pick you up and we could meet later?
Since I don’t really speak to my father anymore, I think it would be great if you could pick me up because I was going to take a taxi so I didn’t have to bother Lenora. I will text you my flight information. Thank you.
You shouldn’t take a taxi alone, Charlotte, that’s not safe. Of course I will pick you up. I didn’t know that you and your dad weren’t speaking. I’m sorry to hear that.
How would you know about my dad when you don’t speak to me? And I do everything alone now, so taking a taxi is not that big of a deal to me.
I understand that you are angry with me. I hope that you will let me explain some things to you and that you will hear me out. I didn’t think you would want to speak to me, so that is why I haven’t called. Please don’t take any taxis alone, at least until I see you next Wednesday and we talk.
I wonder if your girlfriend would like you worrying about me taking a taxi? I do want to talk to you, and I will hear you out. Can I ask you something right now and could you please just give me a simple answer?
I will explain the girlfriend comment to you when I see you. I actually worry about you every day, Charlotte. Yes, you can ask me anything.