After Me

by Joyce Scarbrough

  “Right through that door.” Mr. Christopher pointed to the back of the room. “Annalee, did you see the new releases when you came in? There’s a new Dexter book.”

  Her eyes lit up. “Really? I didn’t know there was a new one out yet.”

  Mr. Christopher typed something into his computer and turned his monitor so Annalee could see it. “Here’s the description. Sounds like another winner.”

  My patience whimpered and died a quiet death. I touched Annalee’s shoulder and said, “I’m gonna go see if I can spot Lew. I’ll meet you back here in a few minutes, okay?”

  “Okay.” She and Mr. Christopher launched into a lively discussion of the book plots versus the television show, and I wondered if she might have a crush on more than one nerdy guy. To tell the truth, I was relieved to know I didn’t feel the same way about Mr. Dewey Decimal. I didn’t think I could’ve survived the humiliation of that one.

  The door at the end of the room led to a long hallway lined with windows. One side was a large room filled with tables and computer terminals. I scanned all the users and didn’t see Lew among them. The other side of the hall was separated into small rooms, each with a window and a door and furnished with a desk and two chairs. In the fourth one, I saw Lew’s blond head beside that of a Hispanic-looking guy, both of them bent over a textbook.

  Okay, so it looked like he was tutoring this kid for some reason, but why? It couldn’t be because he needed the money if his family was loaded like Annalee said. And from the looks of the tattoos on the guy’s muscular arms, I didn’t think he was one of Lew’s chess teammates or even went to Bay Harbor at all. I was loving the chance to stare at Lew uninterrupted, but my curiosity got the best of me and made me knock on the window.

  He looked up and did a double take when he saw me, shooting down the possibility that he was there hoping to see me. I gave him a little wave that he didn’t return, and when the other guy saw me, I could tell by the look on his face that he’d lost all interest in studying anything but the blonde interruption. I didn’t figure Lew was going to like that and tried to beat it before I made it worse, but I heard the door open behind me a second later.

  “Whoa, why you run away, chica?” the guy said when he came out into the hall. “You knock on the window, so come on in.”

  I stopped and turned around. “I was just saying hi to Lew. I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

  Lew had come out by then, and the guy gave him an impressed look. “Oh, she here to see you. It’s like that, ese? You been holding out on me?”

  “You’re stalking me now, Gwen?” The corners of Lew’s mouth hinted at a smile.

  I was so relieved to see he wasn’t mad that I didn’t mind getting mocked by a nerd for the second time that day.

  “Yeah, right,” I said. “If you recall, I told you in class today that I was coming to the library with Annalee after school, so you’re the creeper. Who’s this guy, your bodyguard?”

  His companion flexed his impressive biceps and flashed white teeth at me. “Si, I have mi hermano’s back always.” He put an arm across Lew’s shoulders and cuffed him on the chin with his fist. “But you don’t introduce me to this mamácita right now, I kick your white ass myself.”

  “Gwen, this is Javier Estrada,” Lew said with a laugh. “He’s one of my oldest friends. Javi, Gwen is my chemistry partner.”

  Jeez, he could’ve at least called me a friend. I tried to hide my disappointment at his bland description of our relationship, but the heat I felt coming from my cheeks told me I didn’t quite succeed.

  Javier looked from Lew to me and back again. “Partner like her, maybe I stay in school.” He reached for one of my hands. “Hola, Gwen. Me and you make some chemistry, che?”

  Only because of the way Lew had introduced him, I resisted the urge to burst Javier’s conceited bubble, but I couldn’t help rolling my eyes.

  “Sorry, dude. I forgot to wear my fireproof jeans.” With an effort, I withdrew my hand from his and looked at Lew. “What are you studying in there? Don’t tell me Javier is the secret to your mad chess skills.”

  Both boys laughed and Lew said, “Guess I’m busted. Javi, give me a minute, okay?”

  “I gotta be at work by five, ese.”

  “I know. I just need to tell Gwen something about our chemistry homework. It won’t take a second.”

  Wait, what? We didn’t have any homework. My dead heart did a few cartwheels as I wondered what Lew wanted to talk to me about in private.

  Javier gave him a sly look. “Okay, I let you make some chemistry.”

  Unfortunately, my heart stopped its acrobatics as soon as Javier shut the study room door and Lew said, “Where’s Annalee?”

  “She’s talking to a guy who works here,” I said, trying not to scowl at him. “I don’t remember getting her whereabouts assigned for homework. What’s with all the secrecy?”

  He glanced at Javier through the window. “I just wanted to get Javi back to work. We’ve only got a few days before he takes his GED exam.”

  “Oh. Sorry I interrupted you.” I couldn’t help feeling a little relieved that he didn’t really want to know where Annalee was. And, of course, that made me feel guilty. Jeez.

  “It’s okay,” he said. “Did you get your book list?”

  At least he wasn’t trying to get rid of me as fast as possible. I held up the list and nodded. “Maybe I’ll get a couple before we leave.”

  He took the paper and scanned it. “Want my suggestions?”

  That’s not all I want.

  “Sure.”

  He took a pen from his pocket and put the list against the wall to write on it. I moved beside him as though I was looking to see which books he marked, but I really just wanted an excuse to stand close to him. He smelled so good—like a combination of soap, shampoo and ink.

  “This one, this one and this one are good,” he said. “I hated this one and hated this one even more. And this one”—he drew a circle around The Great Gatsby—“is my all-time favorite book.”

  “Okay, thanks for the insider tips,” I said, taking the list back.

  “You’re welcome. Guess I’d better get back to work with Javi. Tell Annalee I said hi.” He smiled before he turned to go back into the study room, and once again I wasn’t sure if my knees would hold up. God, what a love-struck cliché I’d turned into.

  I sneaked a look into the room and saw Javier shove Lew playfully before he sat down at the study desk, making me wish I could hear what they were saying about me. And that gave me an idea. I moved away from the window and pressed my ear against the wall in case I had super zombie hearing and didn’t know it yet.

  “Hear anything interesting?” Annalee said from behind me.

  I jumped and turned around with a laugh. “Nah. Guess I must’ve fallen asleep against the wall while I was waiting for you to finish making eyes at Mr. Christolicious.”

  She gave me a patronizing look. “You’re not fooling anybody. I saw Lew go in that door a second ago.”

  I linked her arm with mine and showed her the list. “Yep, and he gave me some book suggestions, so let’s go find ‘em.”

  “Wait. What’s he doing here?” She tried to stop and go back, but I pulled on her arm.

  “He’s helping some guy study for his GED, so we can’t bother him again. He said to tell you hi.”

  “Really?” Her face lit up way too much over a little thing like that.

  “Yeah, really. Now let’s get these books and get out of here. I told my foster mom I’d be home by five.”

  When we left the library thirty minutes later, it took both of us to carry all the books since I got every one Lew had suggested. Luckily, Annalee only lived a few blocks away in a housing project that looked like it had been built back when Lincoln was president. When we walked up to the front door of the apartment, I could tell she was embarrassed for me to see where she lived.

  “I wish you’d called your foster mom from the library and waited for her the
re,” she said as she fumbled in her purse for her keys. “You’re gonna be late getting home now. I told you I didn’t need an escort.”

  “Yeah, yeah,” I said. “Safety in numbers and all that crap. Take it from somebody who knows from experience.”

  “I hope my mom’s home or you won’t have a way to call now. Our house phone got cut off six months ago. Mom’s been using a prepaid cell since then.”

  “No problem,” I said. “If she’s not here, there’s probably a pay phone at that gas station across the street.” Since I had no intention of calling anybody, I wasn’t worried about a phone. No way was I having Karen or Brad drive to this neighborhood.

  Annalee unlocked about a dozen locks on the door, then I followed her inside. The place was shabby but uncluttered and tidy—threadbare carpet, worn furniture, a window with a broken pane covered in duct tape. Nothing like Karen and Brad’s place, but way better than the vacant warehouse where Gwen was supposed to have been living.

  “Mom?” Annalee called down the hall. “Mom, are you here?” She turned to me and shrugged. “I guess she had to work a double again.”

  “Where does she work?”

  “She’s a cashier at the Publix in Flagler Park. It’s a really nice store—a lot better than the Food Barn where she worked before.” She dropped her book bag on the couch and walked toward the kitchen on the other side of a small bar. “I’ll get a plastic bag for your books.”

  I started to follow her until I heard a thump coming from somewhere in the apartment. “Hey, maybe your mom’s here after all.”

  Annalee rushed around the bar to look down the hall, then she turned to me with eyes full of panic. “You need to go, Gwen. Now.”

  “Why? What’s wrong?” I looked down the hall and noticed a pair of men’s work boots sitting outside the door at the end. “Who’s here?”

  Annalee picked up the books she’d carried in for me and started toward the front door. “Come on. I’ll walk to the gas station with you.”

  I wasn’t going anywhere until I found out who she was so afraid of. “What about the bag for my books?”

  “We can get one from the station. I know the man who works the counter.” She opened the front door and motioned for me to follow.

  “Well, well, well,” said a male voice behind us. “Who’s your little friend?”

  Chapter Twelve

  “None of your business, Rufus.” Annalee grabbed my arm and tried to keep me from turning around. “Let’s go, Gwen. Please.”

  I could tell she was desperate to get me out of there, but I had to know who this Rufus was and why she was so freaked out by him. I pulled my arm free and turned around to see a man wearing nothing but a pair of grimy boxers, his skinny body covered in tattoos featuring swastikas or women with huge breasts. His eyes moved up and down my body and he grinned at me with teeth that looked like the defective kernels in a cheap bag of microwave popcorn.

  “Well, ain’t you a hot little piece o’ ass?” He scratched at his greasy ponytail. “Why the hell you running with Little Miss Nothing here?”

  I mimicked his redneck accent. “Well, ain’t you a disgusting sack o’ shit? Why the hell ain’t you in the walls with the rest of the cockroaches?”

  His grin disappeared and he took a step toward me, but Annalee ran to get between us.

  “Get out of here, Rufus! Mom told you not to ever come back when she kicked you out.”

  He sneered at her. “Yeah? Then why’s she passed out in the bed right now with a satisfied smile on her ugly face? Get the hell outta my way, you little bitch!”

  He raised his hand to hit her, and I literally saw red—the same as when I’d sent Dougie flying into the tree. Before I could stop myself or even think about what I was doing, I had my hand around his throat and pinned him to the wall with his feet dangling ten inches from the floor like stinky wind chimes.

  “Big mistake, Rufus,” I said. “Nobody talks to my friends like that, and you’re even stupider than you look if you think you’re gonna touch her. I’m gonna give you exactly thirty seconds after I put you down to get your shit and get out of here for good. If you’re not gone by then, I’m gonna break off two important body parts, the loss of which are gonna keep you from hitting anybody ever again and also from being able to pee without a catheter. You got that, douchebag?”

  Even with the red filter over my vision, I could tell his face was turning a deep purple shade that meant he couldn’t breathe, let alone speak. But he managed to nod and signal his agreement. I released his throat and he fell to his knees on the floor, coughing and gasping for breath.

  “One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi…”

  He looked up at me in terror and struggled to his feet, then he stumbled down the hall and disappeared into the room at the end. When he came out a few seconds later with his clothes clutched in his arms, he grabbed his boots and made it back to the living room just as I got to twenty Mississippi. Without saying a word or even looking at me or Annalee, he skittered out the door like one of the cockroaches I’d compared him to a few minutes earlier.

  I went to the door and yelled after him. “And if Annalee tells me you showed up here again, you can bet I’ll be back to keep my promise!”

  My vision gradually returned to normal as I watched him run down the street to a chorus of jeers and laughter from the people on the front stoops of the other apartments. If I’d had any doubt before about whether or not I could carry out my mission with BOSSMAN when the time came, I knew now I’d have no problem. In fact, I couldn’t wait.

  I turned to find Annalee looking at me with her eyebrows raised and her arms crossed.

  “You want to explain that?” she said. “I know he’s a scrawny excuse for a man, but he still outweighs you by at least fifty pounds. How did you lift him off the floor like that?”

  “Oh, it was just…” I waited for my super lying power to kick in, but it was nowhere to be found. “You know, it was just… adrenaline. It happens when I get mad.”

  She shook her head. “Uh-uh. Try again.”

  “Would you believe… steroids?” I almost winced at the lameness of that one.

  “Strike two.”

  I looked around the room in desperation, as though I might find an answer hidden somewhere in the flowers on the faded wallpaper. “Okay, how ‘bout this? While I was living on the street, I got abducted by government goons who were using homeless people for military experiments, and they injected me with…” I stopped and looked disgusted. “Forget it. I got nothing.”

  “Why don’t you try the truth?”

  I sighed. “The truth makes that last story sound perfectly believable.”

  “Try me.”

  I knew I didn’t have to give her any kind of explanation at all, but I was too afraid our friendship would be at risk if I refused to tell her the truth. And the thought of losing Annalee as a friend was every bit as unthinkable as letting Rufus get away with hitting her. I opened my mouth to explain but shut it again quickly when I heard a woman’s moans coming from down the hall.

  Annalee looked stricken. “Wait here. I’ll be back in a minute.”

  I thought about making a run for it before she got back, but I knew it would only postpone the inevitable until the next day, and I didn’t want to tell her my crazy story on the bus or at school where somebody might overhear. It was also better to tell her in private in case she totally freaked out over it. I tried to wait for her in the living room, but when I heard her mom yelling and demanding to know where Rufus was, I got pissed again and went down the hall.

  I stopped in the doorway when I saw her mom—a haggard-looking version of Annalee with bleached blonde hair and raccoon eyes—puking into a plastic basin that Annalee held under her face. The odor of whiskey, sweat and something else I didn’t want to identify filled the room, making me wish my sense of smell didn’t work anymore.

  Annalee looked up, her eyes pleading with me to go back to the living room without s
aying anything. I didn’t want to make things any worse than they already were, so I went back and sat on the couch until she returned.

  “Please don’t judge her,” she said, sitting beside me on the couch. “I know it looks bad, but it’s not her fault. She does pretty good when she stays on her meds.”

  “What does she have?”

  “Borderline Personality Disorder. It’s a mental illness that keeps her emotions out of control and makes her do rash things and make terrible decisions. Like taking Rufus back for the millionth time.” She stared at her hands in her lap. “When she drinks or does drugs, it makes everything worse.”

  “I’m sorry,” I said. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

  She shook her head then looked up at me. “You already got rid of Rufus. And I still want that explanation from you.”

  “Okay, look,” I said. “It’s too long of a story to tell right now since I’m already late getting home, but I promise to tell you everything tomorrow after school. You can come home with me and we’ll have a nice long talk in my new, unfrilly bedroom. Okay?”

  “Annalee, baby… I need you!” Her mom’s whiny, tearful voice came from down the hall.

  “Coming, Mom!” To me she said, “Okay, tomorrow after school. Do you want to use my mom’s cell phone to call home?”

  “No, I’ll walk back to the bus stop we passed on the way here. I’m sure I don’t have to convince you now that I’ll be fine.”

  “Okay, see you in the morning.” She started to get up but stopped. “Thanks for standing up to Rufus for me. It’s great to finally have a friend I don’t have to hide anything from.” She leaned over and hugged me until her mother’s pleas made her hurry down the hall.

  With my eyes full of tears, I had a hard time gathering all my library books from the floor where I’d dropped them before I went off on Rufus. When I got outside, I walked the two blocks back to the bus stop and sat down on the bench, still sniffling because of what Annalee had said.

  But all my sappy emotions vanished when I saw a red Corvette coming down the street.