I grab a shot glass and the bottle. As I pour, I ask, “This a celebratory shot?”
“No,” he says and throws it back. “Again.” While as a bartender, I’m very used to not really being asked. So his statement is normal, but again, not common. I grab a second glass and pour us each a shot.
We throw it back.
“You going to tell me what happened?” My hand reaches out for his.
“No, Rem, I’m not. What do I owe ya?”
“On the house, Jack.”
“Thanks Rem.” And with that, he walks out of Joe’s.
Maria appears next to me, to run another card. “Did you overhear anything at that table with Jack Monroe?” I ask.
She shrugs. “I don’t know. What was I supposed to hear?”
I shrug too. “I don’t know. Positive words?” I don’t even know what the meeting was about. Maybe Jack is dishing out bad news. But I doubted that, because that old man flirted with me. A person doesn’t flirt if they are getting bad news; they get nasty. I know from experience.
My day continues and in the back of mind, Jack’s day is there. I wish I had his number to text him. I wish he would come back in. I wish I could know what the hell that meeting was about to make him so nervous and then throw back two shots of whiskey.
Someone smacks their hand on the bar. My head snaps up. Joe.
“You day dream a lot during your shift, Girl?” he asks me.
“No, sorry. Bourbon?”
He nods and I pour his drink. “There a meeting in here with Monroes.”
“Yeah. What do you know about it?”
He shrugs at me. But unlike Maria’s shrug, Joe’s tells me he knows exactly what that meeting was about, but isn’t going to be too forth coming. “Are you going to share?” he asks.
“Not until you tell me what it was about.”
“Why do you want to know?” He looks at me, keenly watching my reaction.
“You know why. He came in here all nervous.” I left out the part about the shots because that was all I had left to play to get Joe to tell me what was up.
“I’m going to tell you for two reasons. I know you still love that boy and are generally concerned about him and two, Zach Monroe is my friend,” Joe states to me as if I am unaware of it, “and I need to know how it went.” He is about to be disappointed when I reveal all that I knew. “It was an investment meeting. Monroe Construction is going under and those guys were Zach’s shot at saving all he’s worked for.”
No wonder Jack was so nervous and those two shots before he left, really were telling as to how the meeting went. Not good.
JM
She had to touch me. I couldn’t stay the moment her hands touched mine. I was going to sit at Joe’s while it was quiet and stay with her. She would calm me down without even knowing the problem. The whiskey would have helped too. But she touched me.
Even though my anger at those uppity business fucks was running through my veins, Remmington Crawford’s touch is stronger than my anger. I’m sitting here in my truck in Joe’s parking lot thinking about this afternoon.
Those sons of a bitches smiled at us, joked with us, and got a free meal at our expense and then told us no. If my father had shown one shred of his anger I would have hauled off and hit both of them, but he had stood, stoic and calm, and shook both their hands.
We’ll figure something out was what he had said. I imagine him driving home to my mother and sitting at the kitchen table, telling her everything that happened. She would reach over and grab his hand to offer her support, much like Remy had done to me. He would give her a brave smile and say what he had to me.
But I had been over the numbers; Monroe Construction was in the red and dropping. I had no idea how we were going to keep the business together, let alone keep the few guys we had still hired on payroll. Not to mention a roof over my parents’ and my head. We had to recover.
My phone rings and it’s Jared. No doubt he wants to know how the meeting went. It’s his livelihood, too.
“Hey,”
“Well, I can tell by your voice it didn’t go well.”
“Nah, man, it didn’t.”
He pauses. He gets it. He knows how much is at stake.
“I have an idea, Jack, I just don’t think you’re going to go for it.”
“If you say, ask Remy, the answer is no, Jare.”
“But she’s got the money. She would help you. She’d probably be thrilled to help you.”
I grip the steering wheel. My knuckles are white. I had thought of Remy for the money, but to ask her to save me and give her nothing in return, I couldn’t do it. To have her as an investor, would also mean I was indebted to her, which I could never live with. I don’t think I could see her every day, to have her involved so intimately in my life and not be able to have her the way I want her. Seeing her at Joe’s or on a softball field soon is one thing. Set business dates would just be bad, for me and for Amber.
I could see Amber’s reaction now. Her soft features would harden; her fierce brown eyes would shoot daggers. She wouldn’t say anything, but she wouldn’t have to. And even then, it would be the answers I want to hear to move forward; all the while knowing they were lies. She would be hurt. She would be furious. She would have a right.
“I know you’ve got a history with Remy, I do,” Jared’s voice cuts through my thoughts. “I was there. But this is bigger than your summer romance from eight years ago. It’s about your mom, your dad, you, me, and even Amber.”
He is right.
“I can’t ask her.”
“Grow a pair, man. And ask her.”
He clicks off the phone and I’m still sitting in Joe’s parking lot. I should go ask her right now, before I lose the motivation Jared has just given me. But I see Joe pull in and know he’ll find his seat at the bar for the rest of the afternoon. This conversation would have to be private, especially if she rejects me again.
***
It’s our first softball game, enough people were found to keep the league the same, and of course, like eight years ago, our first game was against Steve’s. So there was Remy, in softball pants and a tank top, because it was too hot to stand around in catcher’s gear. She is too hot. I couldn’t take my eyes off of her.
Steve walks over to her and hands her the team shirt. As she slips it on, a smug smile spreads over Steve’s face. He’d seen me staring at her and he knows that I still want her, even if I denied it to everyone, including myself.
I turn away from the two of them. I don’t need everyone at the game, especially Amber, to see how upset I am that Remy is with Steve
Steve’s smile remains. I do my best to keep the feeling of throttling the bastard off of my face. I don’t need everyone at the game, especially Amber to see just how pissed I am that she is holding his hand.
I envision taking a swing at his head with my bat.
I shouldn’t have been this upset by the sight of them together. I knew they were dating. I had seen them at Joe’s, but the sight of them together on the field, flirting, laughing, a place that was special to me, is beyond aggravating.
Our first game with her was Steve’s dad’s landscaping team against our team, Monroe Construction. Of course. We didn’t have time to practice. Of course the sight of her in softball pants was enough to drive me crazy. And of course when she squatted to warm up, every inch of my body reached out for her. I felt a pull toward her like I’d never felt before. If I could just be near her the need would be satisfied.
“You’re welcome buddy,” Jared said. “And I can’t say I mind the view, either.”
I wanted to tell him to stop looking, but she wasn’t mine. And I doubted she would take well to the comment. But if Jared was looking, so was everyone else.
Jared’s voice penetrated my thoughts. “Stop staring at Remy and come throw with me.”
Obviously Remy heard. She stood up and took off her mask. “Monroe, am I too distracting?”
I shook my hea
d in response, unwilling to answer her in front of everyone. She was clearly distracting to me.
I jogged passed her and said instead, “Just don’t lose my fifty bucks.”
“I got this, Sweetheart!” she called after me. She got our second baseman’s and short stop’s attention. “Let’s try a couple of pick offs.” She dug her cleat into the dirt and shook out her shoulder. I realized I’m watching her to see what she’s got and realized Jared was going to be throwing a ball to me. I turned and saw he was watching her too. Everyone on the field was.
She squatted down, one hand behind her back, the other waiting. Liam, our pitcher geared up, threw. She caught it, sprung up, righted her legs, and whipped the ball past Liam’s head into Jordan’s, the short stop, glove.
Jared whistled. “Let’s hope she can bat,” he said and threw the ball at me.
Liam and she repeated and this time, Blake the second baseman, caught it. His movements were fluid. I looked over at Steve and he was watching her too. He now knew she wasn’t kidding and he was going to have to earn that fifty bucks. He kicked at the dirt and spit.
She turned to him and waved.
This got a lot of laughs out of everyone.
The game progressed to the third inning and Steve was back up. He didn’t get on, but now, he was up.
He cracked a grounder right to me. It skipped once and I didn’t get it there fast enough to get him out.
All I could think about was her statement, her swagger, her carefree attitude about the bet. “Time to make some money, Sweetheart,” she had said when she walked up to the dugout.
“I like the fifty in my wallet.”
“I didn’t even bother to bring fifty. I got this, Jack. I do.”
But here Steve was on first. I knew he was going to run on the second pitch; he always did during baseball in high school. This league wasn’t any different for him. I should have told her. Why hadn’t I thought about this before?
I heard her voice from behind home plate, “One down. Fifty bucks to go!” I imagined her smile was big behind her catcher’s mask. He was definitely going to run now. My palms begin to sweat, despite the cool breeze.
I should have gotten him out.
I saw it all happening: Steve digging the ball of his right foot in the dirt, Liam checking him, and Remy crouched down, ready. Liam threw. The ball left his hand and at that moment, Steve took off of the bag. I heard the smack of her glove. She stood and launched the ball and I didn’t see it, but I heard Jordan’s glove smacked into Steve’s leg.
“Out!” the ump yelled.
“What?” Steve yelled back.
“You’re out!” Jared yelled. “Your girl sure can throw,” he called over to me.
She could and that was not what stopped me. The term, my girl, was what did. I liked the sound of it. Her being mine, this crazy, loud, off her rocker girl.
“Come on, Crawford!” Jared yells from our dugout. “I thought you took this sport seriously.”
“What can I say, Jare. I mix business with pleasure.”
Her smile is bright and the thought of anyone or anything but me pleasuring her makes me think about taking a swing at her head. How could she say something like that in front of me?
The first batter is up and Remy’s pitcher strikes him out. The inning continues until I’m about up, but the third out comes and I’ll start the batting order.
“Dude, we need you to concentrate on the game, not her,” Jared says to me.
“I’m not concentrating on her,” I say to him.
“Whatever, you’re not then.” And he starts to jog out to center field.
We throw the ball back and forth between us and I start to focus more on the game until the inning starts and Remy’s up first.
Lead off batter.
She bends her knees, weight on the back leg, enough of her hair has come loose from her helmet and enough of her butt sticks out to make her hot. It is ridiculous how she affects me. Mark pitches and her bat connects with the ball immediately, sending it to left field. Mark doesn’t get there in time to catch it on the fly, but holds her to first.
He takes a step to throw and as soon as he releases it, she takes off to second. I should have known. She did the same thing several times when she had played on our team. She is still fast.
Steve’s cheering and I want to smack him.
I hear Amber’s voice ring through the crowd. “You’ll get her out. Don’t worry, guys.”
I don’t know if I would get her out. I don’t like the idea of her failing at something.
Remy leads off the bag giving Jared a great view of her ass.
“Damn¸ Remy! Gotta get me some!”
She turns a smile on him, knowing he’s joking, knowing not many people could say something like that to her, and her not snap back at them. “You had your shot eight years ago. You missed out.”
My knee jerk reaction is, yeah you sure did, Jare. I can’t think about sex and Remy. I can’t. I can’t. The mantra does nothing for the images that pop into my head and not of nineteen-year-old Remy, of current day Remy.
The next batter up gets out. The following batter smacks it to me, and I should have gone third, but instead I go first. I hear Jared go, “hmph” to my choice for base. The next two outs come quickly. We go through our line up quickly enough, and I’m up, which means I am going to be near Remy and my new images of her. I’m going to strike out.
“It’s a good thing we don’t have fifty bucks bet on this game,” she says and I can see her smile through her catcher’s mask.
“I hate to tell you, but you would pay out this time,” I say back.
“Is that a challenge, Jack?”
“It is what it is,” I say as nonchalantly as I can.
“Challenge accepted,” she says as she squats down low. The pitch comes down and curves a little too far out. “Ball,” the ump yells.
The next one comes right down the center. I hit and run. I don’t know where it’s gotten to, but Jared on first tells me to run through. I’m on first and wonder if I should steal. I’m not that type of player, but she’s looking for it. She’s waiting for it. The next pitch is already happening. I don’t run. The next pitch. Still, I don’t run. The third and I do. I haul ass as fast as I can. I slide into second and hear the slap of the ball in the glove and feel the smack of it on my leg milliseconds before I touch the base.
“Out!”
I can’t help but wear a smile.
Jared lets out a big holler of laughter. He thinks it’s hilarious. I look at home plate and see her standing there, her helmet off, and I think she looks beautiful and a little too happy about this.
We won the game. Remy was bouncing along beside me as we left the field. Her hair has come out; the braid frames her face in a tangled mess. Her face was red from the heat, and I really didn’t think she had ever looked prettier.
“Let’s go cool off in the ocean? I’m freaking dying!” But she looked so alive.
“Like this?” I asked. I motioned towards our clothes. I didn’t have swim trunks with me.
“Yeah, you take the ocean for granted because you live here. Besides, it’s our ocean. It’s where we met.”
“We own it, huh?”
“We do,” she said and bumped my arm.
And I believed her.
I take a lot of good natured ribbing from my team that my ex took me out. I take it in stride. It’s when Amber comes over and tells me I’ll get her out next time. She’s genuinely upset that the exchange has happened.
I think it shows Remy is unwilling to take it easy on me. I would have thought she would have taken it as a good sign that Remy’s moving on. But I don’t know what’s going through Amber’s head any more.
The game continues and the only other word that Remy and I have comes from her.
“Fifty.”
The game goes on and in the end, we win. Jared’s thrilled anytime we beat anyone. We’re standing together and he calls out to Steve. �
��Had to kick your ass again, Carter.”
Steve’s with Remy, standing much like Jared and me, and says, “I’ll find comfort somehow,” and drapes his arm around Remy.
My win doesn’t feel much like a win anymore.
Chapter 11
RC
Jack Monroe has always been on my mind, whether at the forefront or lingering somewhere in the back. But lately, since his meeting, I have done a lot of thinking of him. I wasn’t going to be pursuing him any longer. He is happy. I could respect that. But, his dad and he are struggling financially. I could help them. My broker is always telling me I need investments, though I’m sure he wouldn’t think a sinking construction business was it.
I have thought about it every day, but only had seen him at the softball game and I knew that wasn’t the place to ask him. His girlfriend has gone from wary to shooting daggers at me. Direct conversation would obviously cause problems for Jack.
I was going to be helpful this time.
And though I am determined to help him, finding him privately is much harder to do. I don’t want people to know because I really don’t know how he is going to react. I doubt he would throw confetti, but there is the chance he would be angry or feel upset.
Jack, that summer we were together, went to work earlier than everyone else with his dad. I knew they were working on a roof right outside of town, near my house, and if his dad was with him, maybe his dad would help him see reason. Or I would just talk to his dad.
I wake early and head down the road.
Sure enough, his truck is the only truck there, besides the owners’ cars. He is moving things around the site and doesn’t look up until I put my jeep in park.
He doesn’t look confused by my arrival, but wary, much like Amber’s face when I had first returned.
Pleasantries seem stupid. I don’t want to sound stupid like: Oh, Jack I was just driving by at 6:30 in the morning and wanted to stop, say hello. It just sounds lame. “I want to become an investor for your business.”
That Summer Page 10