“What?” is his response and I can’t really fault him. I blurt it out with no warm up. I mean I’m shooting from the hip. I have no idea what is going to happen with this conversation.
“You need an investor and I want to be it.”
He immediately becomes suspicious. “How do you know we need an investor?”
“Joe,” again no point in holding back. He was probably going to accuse Jared of telling me.
“No.”
“What? What do you mean?” I didn’t expect him to say no, so quickly. “You need money. I’ve got it. You need help. I’m willing to give it.”
“No,” he says and begins to walk away.
“Jack!” I call after him. “Wait,” and he does so reluctantly. “Fine, no. Just tell me why. Why my money is not good enough?”
“Nothing to do with your money, Remy.” He refuses to look at me.
“I have a feeling you’re about to insult me, Jack Monroe.”
“It can’t be you.”
“You’re an ass. I’m not offering again. If I get in that jeep, I won’t offer again.” I begin to walk toward my jeep. I cannot believe he said it was because of me. I’m furious at him, but more so because I thought this would be a good idea. I thought I could do something for him to make his life better and I was very much wrong.
My hand reaches the door handle and I hear my name on the wind. Don’t be foolish I tell myself. It’s just you being hopeful. Don’t look. But I hear my name again. He did say it.
“Wait.” I turn toward him with a sour look on my face. I still want to help him, but now I’m pissed. “We have to talk about this and the parameters of it.”
Parameters? He totally thinks I’m doing this to get back in his life. What a jerk.
“I’m not an idiot, Jack. This is going to a partnership. One in which I am going to be a silent partner. I expect a twenty percent return and your father to keep me updated weekly on spending and profit. Your father, not you. If I don’t see a turnaround in the next two months, I pull my funding. I am expecting something out of this, not just a thank you either.
“I understand there is paperwork and I need to speak with your father, directly. But this is the offer. And beyond the initial setup of the deal and what I want to see from the company, I don’t want to discuss it with you.” I add the final part so he knows it’s not a ploy to get back with him.
His brow is furrowed as he listens to all that I say.
“We’ll take it, provided my father agrees which, you already know we are out of options.”
“Fine,” I say with a tight lip look on my face.
“Amber can’t know,” he says. He’s embarrassed he’s saying it. I know she can’t. I had already assumed that would be a social stipulation; one that I was ready to agree on with understanding, but after how this conversation started, I am suddenly pissed about it.
“Yeah. Fine. Get your dad my number. Have him call me.”
“I don’t have your number.”
No, he doesn’t. “Get out your phone.” He does and I give him the number.
I reach for my door handle again and he touches my arm to stop me and my breath hitches from the contact. It’s the third time we’ve touched since I’ve been back and I wish it was a touch that was going to pull me into his arms and kiss me, something out of a romance novel.
“Why are you helping me?”
I’m shocked by the question; his fingers on my elbow forgotten.
“Why wouldn’t I help you?”
He doesn’t have an answer. I pull out of his reach, sad to lose his contact, but mostly, I’m just pissed. I get in the jeep and leave him standing there looking after me.
JM
“I don’t know, Dad.”
He sits there patiently waiting for me to say it.
He could prompt me.
He could just voice what he already knows, but not my father. He’s going to let me sift through and work it through at my own pace. He looks at me with this infinite amount of patience he possesses and I am still working on acquiring. I take a drink of my water and wish my mother was here to voice what I’m thinking. While she may not be as patient, she is swift and accurate at figuring out her children. She doesn’t seem to be coming out on the deck any time soon.
“Remmington’s money could save our business if we follow through with the plan.” He nods. I continue because it’s the only thing to do. “We’ve exhausted our options and she’s a new one that really just fell into our laps.”
It’s his turn to take a drink of water. Still, he says nothing.
I heave a heavy sigh.
“It’s our only option to save Monroe Construction.”
I know and he knows, if it was anyone else, I would pounce on the opportunity Remy is offering.
“I just don’t think it’s a good idea for my relationship.”
A small smile lifts the corners of his mouth; it’s a sad smile. One that shows he understands my confliction. Is a business more important than Amber? But my selfishness, my inability to stay away from her is really the problem. I know it. I admit to myself on a regular basis. I just don’t say it out loud, but my father’s sad smile tells me he already knows. My mother I’m sure guessed the day Remy showed back up. And here my parents are, willing to throw away all they have worked for because I can’t keep my mind off a memory.
“You can handle Remmington, can’t you, Dad?”
“Yes, son, I can.”
“Then there is no reason not to accept the deal.”
“I thought you already did.”
“I did.”
“So what is the problem, Jack? I don’t think you have it figured out yet.”
I thought I figured it out.
“It’s just hard to be around her.” I take a drink of my water and hear my mother in the kitchen, humming.
“But why is that, son? If you love Amber, why is Remmington Crawford such a hard issue for you?”
Leave it to my father to make me rethink my entire life.
He doesn’t pressure me to answer anything. In fact, he leaves me sitting there on the deck, for a few minutes by myself. When he returns, I know he’s got more to say.
“You know, Jared’s a great guy. Turned out pretty good for what he was dealt in his life.” I don’t know where he’s going with this. “I remember when he latched on to you in elementary school. Couldn’t get that kid to go home,” he says with a laugh. I doubt they tried to make Jared go home, ever. “Jared’s someone I’m proud to have part of this family, no matter the bad choices, the bad parents. He rose up to be a better person and I believe that part of the reason is you, Jack.”
“Jared earns his own,” I say in his defense. My friend has worked all his life.
“He’s earned every inch, Jack. But I still believe you helped. You lifted him. You protected him. You loved him. Look what he has become.”
“Okay.”
“Amber’s a great girl, son. But maybe, just maybe, you were meant to lift up Remmington. Maybe you have one more person to help in this world, dating or friends, or whatever it is.”
Chapter 12
JM
Our Saturday game is done and we go to Joe’s; Joe’s has been black listed by Amber. I’ve come to the point where I don’t even mention it. She’s knows I go, but ignores me, gives me the silent treatment. And other times, not much comes out anyway. We spend most of our time at home, not speaking.
I’m feeling less torn about this more and more. She’s pushing me the wrong way and if I say that, then I’m an asshole because I’m not being considerate of her feelings. I can hear her friend Melissa telling me I should want to stay away from Joe’s.
I can almost see the wall that is up between us. I’m not sure anymore who is laying the bricks, me or her.
We pull in, Jared and me, and I see her immediately. I always do.
“And we have an asshole,” Jared says from the passenger seat.
Steve’s with her.<
br />
Great.
But as we climb out I hear his voice carry. Something about being a tease and not in a flirty way. I can see his face and he looks annoyed. She’s putting all the weight on her left side, and I can see a bit of her profile.
“Think we should go over there?” Jared asks when he stands next to me. I shouldn’t have stopped. I shouldn’t be staring, but I am. Steve sees us.
“Well, now your protectors are here,” he says loud enough for us to hear. She turns to see who Steve is referring to and sees us. I see her wet her lips, and she nods her head at us. I’m not sure if it means we should move along or not. I don’t have any intentions of going anywhere.
Steve says something else to Remy, stomps off into the bar, kicking up dust.
“I told you he’s a douche,” Jared says as he heads into the bar.
“What was that about?” I ask.
“You’ve gotten awfully forward toward me lately. Where’s the quiet Jack Monroe I know.”
“Stop dodging my question.”
“Did you talk to your dad?”
“We accept. What was that about?” She shows no reaction toward my acceptance of her offer. She looks annoyed that I keep bringing up Steve.
“He’s pissed I won’t put out.”
There’s a moment that I want to jump for joy to know that he has not been with Remy; he has not been where I have. I don’t know why I’m so territorial, but I always thought of Remy as mine and I’m glad Steve has been denied.
“Stop seeing him,” is what I say instead. “He’s a jerk, and a womanizer.”
“But he’s fun.”
“But he’s not good for you. Do you even know what he’s like?” I throw up my hands in exasperation.
“I know exactly what he’s like. He’s exactly the same as he was eight years ago.”
“So why are you with him?” She is right, I am forward with her, but if I’m not, nothing gets done.
“Because I don’t want forever. I tried that, twice. I’m looking for right now. And he fits.” She holds up two fingers. Twice is a lot to fail at love and I hate that I’m one of those two times. She’s becoming more annoyed with me, and I don’t want her to be.
“Remy-“
She cuts me off. “Spare me, Jack. You’re in a loveless relationship filled with nothing but complacency and you want to lecture me?”
“Don’t you call my relationship complacent. You don’t know us.” She could always do that; turn it around on me, for good reasons and bad.
“Oh, no? I don’t know?” She’s furious. I can see it in her stance, the way her hip is popped to the right, her hands on her hips, the narrowing of her eyes. “You don’t look in her eyes when you are with her. When she talks, you force yourself to pay attention to her when you are really watching me. I see it, Jack. I’ve watched you with her. You aren’t happy.”
“You don’t know anything about us,” I re-state. I point my finger at her, trying to drive home the point. I know she is right, but Amber deserves to be defended. Our relationship, our consistent, faithful and loyal relationship deserves it.
“Then why is it you can’t stay away from me?”
Remy had a way of looking right at me that made me want to spill the truth. About everything and anything. It was annoying. Why can’t I stay away? I had dreamed of her for eight years. I had missed her for eight years. Of course I couldn’t stay away from her. I came to Joe’s only on nights she worked.
She knows she won the argument with my silence. She feels bad. She folds her arms and straightens her back in a less confrontational stance.
“I shouldn’t have said that. I need to get behind the bar.” She moves past me. I only stand there a second longer in the parking lot. I should have gone home, to Amber. But I can’t now. My entire team and Steve know Remy and I are out in the parking lot. I am sure of it. If I left now, without celebrating, people would know. Know what? I wasn’t sure, but they would know something, probably before I did.
I follow in her wake.
I am aware of her slamming around behind the bar.
“You didn’t really calm her down at all, did you?” Jared says privately to me.
“You are Captain Obvious.”
He gives me a big grin. He should rub me the wrong way, but never does. He’s probably the only one I can be around right now and not have to explain anything.
This goes on for ten more minutes, but she doesn’t calm down. And when ten minutes pass, Amber gets to the bar.
I plaster a bigger than normal smile on my face. I kick myself because I’m sure it looks fake.
But if my smile is fake, so is Amber’s. She’s all sunny, even though I know she doesn’t want to be here. She gives me a big hug. I hug her back. Jared gives me a funny look. I’m sure the entire display looks forced. This isn’t us.
She doesn’t leave my side. She doesn’t even go to the bathroom with her friends. Her hand is constantly finding mine, kisses are being placed continuously on my cheek, and if I move, she moves.
Jared continues to watch, growing more and more confused at this sudden onslaught of affection. I’m not really that guy. It makes me uncomfortable. Both Jared and Amber know this.
In the quick glances I steal at Remy, I know she is still seething. She told Steve to get the fuck out of her bar. I wasn’t the only one who had heard and seen the exchange. When this was said, he stormed out. She stuck her middle finger up.
When this is said, Amber clings harder to me , knowing Steve is a buffer for our relationship, someone who keeps Remy occupied. Jared stands up at this point, leaving us.
“Why are you being so needy all of a sudden, Amber?” I pull my arm out of hers. She winces. “You know I’m not that guy. You know it makes me uncomfortable.” She had been hanging on me the entire time we were at Joe’s.
“You know why,” she says miserably. “You know. It’s different with her in the same town, same places we go, friends with people we know.”
I don’t need to ask her who “she” is. “She” was behind the bar.
“She lives here now, Amber. It’s a small town. She works here. We come here. We’re going to see her. She’s not bothering us.”
“But I don’t like it,” she says petulantly. I’m sure she doesn’t.
“Have I ever led you to believe that I want her over you? Because that is what this is about. Have I ever led you to believe that I would be unfaithful to you? You know I’m not that guy, so even if she makes you uncomfortable, have some faith in me. We’ve been together for three years; I’m not throwing it away on a girl I dated for three months, eight years ago.”
“You say that now, Jack. But I see it. Hell, the whole town sees it.”
“Sees what?” I ask, annoyed.
“The way you two look at each other. The way you smile at her when everyone’s attention is on her. The way you are attracted to everything she does.”
“This is ridiculous,” I say, raising my voice and throwing my hands in the air. “I haven’t done anything wrong.”
“Not yet,” she says. “I think I need some space. I think we shouldn’t talk for a few days.” I see her steel herself for my response. She’s obviously been thinking about this for a few days.
“Fine!” I spit out at her. “And you think I’m the one walking away from this relationship.”
I shouldn’t have said it. I know it the moment it leaves my mouth. I’m letting my anger get the best of me because Amber has called me out about everything I know I’m doing and keep telling myself, it’s not cheating. But it is, because I say I wouldn’t throw my three year relationship away for Remy and the memory of our old relationship, but if Remy told me she wanted me back, I don’t know if I could stay with Amber. There’s a part of me who knows how great Remy and I could be, but she’s never let me believe she’s interested in doing anything like that.
“You’re thinking about her,” Amber pulls me from my thoughts.
“What? No!”
My subconscious whispers, not like Remy does.
And it’s at that moment that I know our relationship is over, even if Remy doesn’t want one with me. Amber isn’t enough.
But I can’t bring myself to say that to her at this moment.
She’s a great girl and she has every right to call me out on my bullshit, but at this moment, all this information, it’s enough. I’ll give her a few days. I’ll think about what I need to say, what I should say, what she deserves.
I watch her leave Joe’s.
“Need a place to stay tonight?” Jared says from my left.
Chapter 13
RM
My day was long and not because of Joe’s or my confrontations with Steve and Jack. My app was having issues. My broker and financial advisor had multiple red flags on my finances. I was losing money where I shouldn’t be. They must have been people who had limitless money all their lives. I was someone who still thought millions was a lot. The app had a malfunction for an hour today and my reviews tanked. And those people, even though the problem was fixed, were not going to fix those one stars.
Whatever.
I had a nest egg.
I had a home.
I had Mia.
I was okay.
I was lying in bed mulling over the day when Mia shoved her nose in my face.
“Come on, pup. Let’s go out.”
There is nothing more annoying than a wet nose in your face at two in the morning when all you want to do is sleep. She lopes over to the door and I follow her out. I feel the breeze of the ocean, still warm from the day, and again, I think, I’m okay.
“Shouldn’t have left me. Shouldn’t have done this to my lifestyle.”
My entire being drops to the floor when I turn toward Tom’s voice. I immediately begin to sweat. I don’t know what he means. I dart for the door, but as I slam it shut, his body blocks it. I don’t remain close but move to the kitchen.
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