RM
I hear the growling bear beside me before I register someone is knocking. A knot of fear forms in my belly. It can’t be Tom, I tell myself, he wouldn’t knock. But it is 11:30 and after my encounter with Tom, I can’t shake the terror that has settled in the pit of my stomach
I swipe the screen of my phone and see that no one has tried to contact me.
Please don’t be Tom, I think to myself. Please, just don’t be.
Clutching my phone and the baseball bat I have opted to keep in my bedroom, I make my way through the house, keeping the lights off as I go. The police chief told me it would help me see who was outside and if someone were to get in, I would be at an advantage in the dark, not him.
Mia’s coat helps her blend into the darkness and I only know she is by me because of the growl that is quietly coming out of her as she stalks the person banging on my door.
“Remy!”
Jack?
“I know it’s late. Open the door. It’s me, Jack.”
What the hell is he doing here? Mia, still not sold, approaches the door and lets out a deep bark. Jack stops banging on the door.
I look through the peephole. Yep, Jack Monroe at my house, in the middle of the night. I unlock the door.
“Hi,” he says, as if it’s completely normal for him to be at my house in the middle of the night. And then he sees the bat clutched in my hand. “Oh, God, Rem, I didn’t even think. I didn’t mean to scare you.”
“Yeah, well you and everyone else. I’ve learned to live with it.”
He looks embarrassed now.
“Everything okay, Jack?”
“Yeah. Can I come in?”
So not only is he here in the middle of the night, he also wants to come in.
I put the bat down and step to the side, flicking on a light so the house isn’t still submerged in darkness.
He’s looking for more direction. Whatever he needs, he needs to sit down. Or worse I need to sit down for this. Oh my God, he’s here to tell me I need to leave South Shore. His girlfriend is insisting on it.
“You know where the kitchen is.”
He goes and I follow. He sits and I prefer to stand.
“What are you doing here, Jack? We decided to stay away from each other, remember?” I say coldly. I don’t mean to. I’m just devastated by the fact he is never going to be mine. I thought I was all he was ever going to need and the truth is, I wasn’t going to be. I should have chased him. I should have shown him what he meant to me. I should have come back to South Shore sooner, just to see. “It’s the middle of the night and whatever this is, it could have waited until the morning and done with a phone call.”
“Rem—,”
“Do you have any idea how confusing this is for me? If you have some bad news for me, you need to spit it out.”
“Rem—“
“If you aren’t going to say you love me and that you pick me, I don’t want to hear it, Jack.” I can tell by the startled look on his face, he wasn’t expecting me to go down that road. And I shouldn’t have, but really seeing him at Joe’s, him helping me out, his concern for me, being an investor, is all too much. And maybe it was Tom’s reappearance that made me say it to him; I really shouldn’t have said that to him.
“I love you and I pick you, Rem. I pick us. I pick our forever.”
My heart stops. My mind goes blank. I don’t breathe. He makes no move toward me. It’s like the last fifteen seconds didn’t happen, that they were part of my imagination, my wishful thinking.
“What did you say?” I ask him. I almost miss the stool when I sink down into it.
“Which part? The I love you or the I pick us?” He gives me a sweet, bashful smile and only when I see his smile do I realize it’s not my imagination. He really said this.
“What about Amber?”
“We broke up. I was going to wait a few days before coming to see you. I should have, but I couldn’t. It’s why I’m here so late.”
My heart is hammering in my chest. “Are you sure that’s what you want?” I ask him.
“You are what I want; you’re all I’ve ever wanted.” He is staring at me, waiting for me to say something, anything, but I can’t catch my breath. “Are you going to say anything?”
I move off the stool I just sat down on and move around the island that separates us. He stands and I see the uncertainty in his eyes as I approach him. My face twitches in a smile, still unable to grasp the fact of what he’s saying, but I’m sifting through it. I throw my arms around him and bury my face in his neck. He hugs me, like he did when I was nineteen. I feel like I’m where I belong. I never want to let him go.
“This is one of the first times I think I’ve seen you not have something to say,” he says into my hair.
I smile like a fool into his neck.
“Will you look at me now, Remmington?”
My heart skips a beat as I look into his hazel eyes. The reality that he is really going to kiss me sends firecrackers to every nerve ending I possess. He leans in, slowly, teasing me, and lightly, so lightly, presses his lips against mine. He pulls back and we smile like fools and laugh. He leans in again and I wrap my arms around his neck and in this moment I’m nineteen again. We didn’t break up on my front porch. I never left South Shore. I’d stayed in his arms.
“I missed you,” I say into his lips.
“Me too,” and he kisses me again and again, until I am breathless, but even then I don’t want him to stop.
I want nothing more than to keep kissing him, but I can’t fight the yawn that escapes me mid-kiss. I feel compelled to tell him I haven’t been sleeping. That my house, any house doesn’t feel safe. But I don’t want to ruin this moment and make him worry.
“Come to bed,” I say instead. “Just to sleep. Just to stay with me.”
He nods and I lead him down to my new bedroom.
If he wonders why I’ve switched rooms, he doesn’t ask. In the darkness, he kicks off his shoes and pulls his shirt over his head. I climb into bed and love the feel of the bed dipping under his weight. I find him in the center and rest my head on his chest, knowing for the first time in a year, my sleep would be restful.
JM
I wake up, disoriented as to where I am, who I’m with until I realize the mess of hair beside me is blonde. Remy’s out. I don’t want to wake her, but I know my alarm on my phone is going to go off any minute and if I can just have her for a few more minutes this morning, my day will be that much better.
“Rem?” I say softly. “Rem.” I shake her arm a little. I hear her groan as she starts to wake up.
“Next time you should just get out of bed. I won’t be offended.”
I laugh. “But I want to see your pretty face.”
“And smell my morning breath?”
I laugh again. “Yep.”
“It’s too early. I can already tell.”
“I have to go to work. I have a silent partner who is demanding.”
“Well, she’s demanding we go back to sleep. Please?”
“You can. I’ll call you. Dinner tonight?”
She’s rolled over on to her back and her eyes are blinking open, trying to focus.
“I’ll get up and get coffee,” she states and rolls out of bed. I roll the other way and come face to face with Mia. “She’s just pissed you took her spot,” Rem says as she walks out the door. I pat the dog on her head and find my shoes and shirt.
Remy’s yawn is huge when I walk into the kitchen. I smile at her.
“God, you’re a morning person now, aren’t you?” she comments.
“Not all of us are millionaires.”
“God knew I couldn’t hold a nine to five.” She flips the coffee pot switch and she moves to let Mia outside. “You’re staring, Jack Monroe.”
“I get to openly now,” I say, wanting to charm her a little before I leave.
“Are you saying you watched me these past few months I’ve been back?” She’s walking lazily
toward me.
I wrap my arms around her when she gets close enough. “I watched you every chance I got.”
“That’s a good answer.”
Chapter 16
RC
I wait patiently all morning before I decide to take Jack lunch. Could I have waited longer? Sure, I could have, but I don’t have to anymore. Around eleven thirty I order pizza and wings, and then head down the road to see him.
Eight years ago it had been something the construction had come to expect from me at least once a week and who didn’t like pizza.
“Number one reason why I’m glad they’re back together. She feeds me!” I hear Jared booming from a roof. An excited thrill runs through when I realize Jack has already told him we are back together. It’s a good sign. A really good sign.
Jack’s dad gets to me first and helps me carry the food.
He and I have had multiple conversations, signed a contract, and I handed over a check to him a day or two before Tom showed up. We have done it all without Jack, and even though we are back together, I still feel that the investing should stay between the two of us, and not become a trio. If it doesn’t work out, I would still help them; I wouldn’t pull my investment.
“Hi, Mr. Monroe.”
“Good to see you around, Remy,” is all he says to me. I remember being shy when I was nineteen and doing this. Now, I feel like this is a good move, a confident one.
I pulled up to the site and hopped out of my jeep.
I heard a cat-call at me and knew it was Jared. Jack would never do that. I came around to the other side of my jeep and grabbed the two pizzas. Before I had turned, Jack was there. A smile on his face, sweat dripping on his forehead and a muscle shirt. God, he was hot.
He grabbed the two pizzas. “What are you doing here?”
“Bringing you guys lunch. Too much?”
“No,” he said with a soft smile on his lips and one shake of his head.
“I just wanted to see you.” I didn’t know what prompted me to say that to him. He had just dropped me off not even eight hours ago. It was crazy.
“Good,” was all he said.
“Is that pizza?” Jared shouted over to us.
He shot Jared an annoyed look and I mumbled something about getting the pop out. He waited for me and we headed over to where they had stopped working since I had pulled up.
“My dad’s here,” he said quietly. Glancing around, I picked out Jack’s father immediately. He was just an older version. No grey hair. No wrinkles. Just older. A pit of nerves swell in my stomach. Parents. I couldn’t handle my parents, let alone someone else’s. This was a bad idea. I shouldn’t have come and if it weren’t for the other five guys staring at me because of the pop in my hands, I would have backtracked and peaced out.
His dad didn’t make any move toward the food or me. He watched us. I stood there not looking at him, I could tell he was evaluating me, every bit of me. I was sure he had heard about my reasons for being in South Shore and was thinking a girl like me would never be good enough for his son. He was right, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t going to try to prove him and everyone else wrong.
Jack found my sweaty hand and pulled me towards his father. I found myself wanting to tug back like an insolent child. I followed anyway and found myself in front of Mr. Monroe
“Dad, this is Remmington Crawford. Remy, this is my Dad, Zach Monroe.”
He extended his hand with an easy smile, but with the same evaluating eyes. “Hi, Remmington.”
“Hi, Mr. Monroe.”
“So you’re the reason Jack got in at three this morning.”
Oh my God! My eyes widened, my cheeks burned in embarrassment. I wanted to melt into Jack and disappear.
“Dad!”
I heard laughter from behind me. I was sure all four guys were laughing their asses off.
“I’m just trying to make her comfortable,” Mr. Monroe said to me.
“Bad approach.”
But Jack was wrong. Once I realized, Mr. Monroe was only teasing me, my face turned to normal shade again.
“Yes, I’m responsible.”
“Your grandparents worried about your three in the morning returns?”
“No, sir. I’m going to say they’re pretty liberal.”
“Well, if they aren’t worried. I’m not. He does need to sleep sometime though.”
“I’ll keep that in mind, sir.”
He gave a short laugh and got himself a piece of pizza.
“I’m so sorry,” Jack said beside me.
Jack appears and again, an excited thrill shoots through me. I want to kiss him. He kisses me on the cheek instead, but I know Jack’s not someone who is going to make out with me in public or have a display of undying love. But it’s okay, because now I get the quiet moments with him again.
He grabs the bucket of wings from me and surprises me by holding my hand. It had taken him forever to do that on his own before.
The guys dive in when they set the food down, but Jack lingers back by me. “I just wanted to see you,” I say.
“I wanted to see you.”
“You should probably eat.”
He does; in fact, he eats a lot. But the lunch break ends, and it is time for them to get back to work.
“I’m going to see you tonight, right?” he asks.
“Yeah, what do you want to do?”
“Walk on our beach.”
“Okay,” I reply and don’t bother to hide my smile.
“Bye Rem! Good to have you back!” Jared yells at me. “Jack needs to work, though!”
“I think that’s my cue,” Jack says and gives me a quick kiss goodbye.
***
At six he pulls up to the house. He is dressed in khaki shorts and a grey t-shirt, nothing fancy. I doubt he even spared five minutes to see how he looked. I, for the first time, curse the fact that South Shore is so secluded. I hate everything in my closet. Everything.
I had settled on white shorts and a loose black tank. I hope he thought I looked good. Here I am putting pressure on our relationship and here he was, walking up, as if this has been our routine for years.
I don’t let him knock. I open the door when he reaches the step.
I should play a little hard to get, but I don’t. He sees me and smiles and it’s all I need. I quickly take the steps that are separating us and launch myself into his arms.
We kiss and it’s like last night, consuming. His hands brush up and down my arms, my back, to my hips. Goosebumps follow his path. I hold our bodies tight, refusing even to allow air between us.
“You should quit your job and we should do this all day long,” I say when we finally break apart.
“I can’t,” he says simply, but then goes on. “I have this demanding investor that we have to please at work now.”
“What if that investor tells you there are other ways to please her?”
“I’ll have to run it by my dad.”
We both laugh at how awkward that conversation would be with his dad.
Mia barks. She’s off the porch and half way to the beach.
“Go to our beach?” I ask and we walk down hand in hand, following a frolicking Mia.
“We should talk,” he says, almost immediately when our feet hit the sand.
“Okay?” I ask, cautiously.
“Nothing bad. But we have to clear something up. We have a history and based on the last time we were on your porch, we have some things that don’t match up.”
“Okay?” I say, still cautiously.
“Like why we broke up eight years ago.”
“Jack, do we have to do this? I mean, I just got my first night of sleep since Tom came back. I got you back. Things are finally going in the direction I had hoped they would and you want to talk about the past.”
“I do.”
“Fine,” I say, sounding like a brat.
“Why did you leave?”
“Let me tell you this once again. I left, and I’m goi
ng to say it slowly, to go to college.”
“But you weren’t coming back.”
“Yes, I was. I was hoping you would come out for Thanksgiving and I had already made plans with my grandparents about staying here for Christmas, which was a month long break.”
“Oh,” And I can see it hit him, how he overreacted. How he shouldn’t have jumped to the conclusion that I was leaving forever, that I wanted to stay.
“So your turn. You were an ass, but why, Jack? I mean, we were so good together.”
“That’s it Rem. We were so good together. How could we have possibly found forever?”
“We had it,” I say a little coldly.
“We did and I was scared. You were someone I felt was going to go out into the world, see great things, and meet great people. I was not. I’m a small town guy with small town dreams. I was afraid you’d figure that out and leave me.
“I was leaving South Shore, but I had no intention of leaving you.”
“You should have said that,” he says quietly.
“You should have listened to me.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I should have come home sooner, Jack. I knew where you were, but I didn’t want you to walk away from me again. I had enough people to do that.”
“Water under the bridge.”
“Agreed. What about Amber?”
“What about her?”
“Listen, you want everything out in the open. What happened?”
“She wasn’t you,” he says.
I just give him a look. He smiles a far off smile, like he doesn’t want to answer me, but he does.
“I loved her and then you came back and worked at Joe’s and it just brought to light all the bad things that we’d been hiding from. She’s not a bad person, Remy. She has a good heart; it just wasn’t supposed to be mine. I just wasn’t loyal to her.”
“I doubt I’ll get to know her.”
“Yeah, I don’t think so. And Steve?”
“Steve was a distraction. You weren’t supposed to be in a relationship, and then you were, I mean, I knew in the back of my mind that you wouldn’t really wait around for me all these, years. But when I saw you with Amber, I needed something, someone.”
That Summer Page 14