The sunlight peeks through her blinds. And as if she’s aware that morning is here, she tries to hide from it. She snuggles into me and my body reacts to her being naked and pressed against me.
I kiss her neck and she doesn’t stir. I run my tongue from her neck to her ear and I hear a sleepy sigh. Now we are getting somewhere.
“Remmington,” I say quietly.
“Seriously, you have to stop waking me up at freaking dawn.”
“But there are things we should do before I have to start my day.”
She turns in my arms, so she’s facing me. “And what, pray tell, Jack Monroe are these things, you speak of?”
“I’m better at showing, Remy.”
I roll on top of her, having my weight push her down into the bed, wishing we could stay like this. I kiss her and hope she understands what I’m trying to convey. I’m thankful she’s understanding, that she knows me, that I love her.
She doesn’t let on that she’s picking any of this up, but the moan that escapes her mouth, when I begin to kiss her neck, is the only encouragement I need from her.
Eight years without Remy was enough. I plan on making up for that last time, starting right now. I move lower.
***
An hour later, she’s making coffee and I’m getting out of the shower.
“What are your plans today?” she asks when she sees me.
I kiss her instead of answering.
“As much as I wish that meant we were staying in bed all day, it doesn’t.”
“No,” I say, “but I’m going to the site, getting them started and going to the hospital. Do you want to come with me?”
“Are you sure you want me to? I won’t be offended if you don’t.”
“I do.”
And like the list in my head that I made, we check things off quickly and by nine we are at the hospital with my family and Jared. The doctors say he had a good night. The doctor said he wants to keep him for a few more days, to make sure everything keeps progressing well. He’s more alert today and asking for his family.
Jared was the first to go in and see him this morning. He didn’t last night and my father asked to see him, requesting he be first. My father, even in a hospital bed was determined to make Jared feel important.
I get to see him, last this time, and he looks like he needs to sleep. “Had enough company already?” I ask.
“Just enough strength for you. I do feel tired though.”
“I won’t stay long, Dad. I just needed to see you.”
“How’s Remy?”
“She’s good. She’s good for me, Dad.”
“Your mother and I know.”
I stay only a few minutes because I see he’s fighting sleep to stay awake and as long as he’s on the mend, and the doctors feel positive, I don’t feel the need to stare like a hawk at him.
My mother sees me walking down the hall, stands, kisses all three of them, kisses me as we meet in the hall, and goes and sits in my father’s room. I doubt she’ll leave for anyone at this point.
Chapter 19
RC
Yesterday had been long. We had spent most of the day at the hospital. Jack and Jared focused on keeping Kylie’s spirits up. She’s a sweet girl, twenty now. She was twelve the summer I was here, and Jack and I hadn’t spent any time with her. We spent a lot of time alone doing things a twelve-year-old shouldn’t.
For the last twenty-four hours, my mind would stray to Jack and then stray to my bedroom. At least we were past back roads, blankets, and avoiding grandparent’s and parent’s eyes.
The night and morning ended and started the same as yesterday’s. I was getting sleep. Zach was recovering. Jack had gone to work this morning, telling me he would pick me up after he went to the hospital.
I feel like I’m nineteen years old because I am thinking of nothing but sex with my boyfriend. There are bigger things to think about, but for the life of me, none of them seem anywhere as interesting as Jack, me, and sex.
I’m wiping down the bar, thinking about sex when I hear Maria tell me, “Heads up at the door.” My heart stops for a minute thinking it was Tom, being reckless and showing himself in town. That was the worst possible person to be at the door.
It isn’t Tom. It is the second worst possible person at the door: Amber. She isn’t with anyone so she wasn’t coming to have drinks with a few girls to help her forget Jack. She is here to talk to me. There isn’t an ounce of me that doesn’t know that.
She steels herself before she starts to walk to the bar. I’m not sure if it’s because she thinks I’m going to have something to say, if she’s going to pick a fight, or if she’s fighting the urge to cry. Great. Freaking great.
“What can I get ya?”
“I’ll have a shot of whiskey and an explanation.”
Well, she is direct.
I pour her a shot and one for myself. I feel it might be helpful.
She throws it back and I tip my shot at her and do the same.
“So you two are already together?”
“Amber what do you want? I know it’s not my company.”
“I told you. An explanation.”
“Obviously you’re referring to Jack. But you need to be clearer.”
“What gives you the right to break up my relationship?” There’s anger in her voice, but it’s the heartbreak that I hear. She loved him. I know what that is like. She is now going to learn what it’s like with life without Jack.
“I didn’t mean to,” and I sound pathetic to my ears.
“But you did,” she spits at me. “Pour me another.”
Okay, I think to myself. This is going to be ugly.
I do as she asks and pour myself one too. She throws it back before I finish my pour.
“I came back because of him. It’s true. But when he came in here with a girlfriend, I got another guy. Steve was a douche, but I didn’t stalk him, or flirt with him, I saw him on the softball field and here. It just happened.”
“What, like, you two are fated, or some crap? What makes you better than me? Why did he pick you over me?”
I pour her another shot before she asks me to.
I feel bad for her, for my part, for showing up. Heartbreak sucks and no matter that I didn’t mean to, I had caused this break up.
“I don’t know, Amber. I don’t know.”
I did though. But I don’t think telling her that we just are connected, that we may in fact be fated, or destined lovers, or whatever would be helpful. I know what I said would remain with her until she moves on. She sits there staring at her now empty shot glass, looking sad.
I can offer her no comfort.
Maybe I should let her take a swing at me. I could weather another black eye. She may feel better, a little vindication.
She stands. “You’re buying my shots.” She turns and walks out of Joe’s. If I liked having girlfriends, I may have wanted to be her friend. That ship had since sailed.
“That was uncomfortable to watch.” Joe comes around from the end of the bar to sit where Amber had been sitting.
I give him a pointed look. “You know, Joe, you could have come to my rescue.”
“And miss the wonderful display of female bonding? I don’t think so. Pour me a drink, Girl and one for yourself.”
My afternoon shift comes to an end and I find myself sitting next to Joe.
I’m laughing at something he said when Jack finally gets his ass there to pick me up.
“You two been at this all afternoon?” he asks as he sits next to me. I lean into him, loving the smell of him after work, sweat and Jack. It’s great. “You drunk?” he asks.
“Yes,” I say proudly and lift my glass. Joe does too and we cheers.
“Far be it from me to judge the two of you for being drunk on a Wednesday afternoon.”
“Had to. Had a rough shift,” I say.
“Why?”
“Oh ya know,” Joe starts. “Amber was in here.”
Jack’
s eyebrows shoot up.
“Yeah, she doesn’t like me much.”
“Would you?” Joe asks.
“Hell no.” Because I wouldn’t. “And your ass should have been here to deal with it.”
“Why me?”
“Because that’s your problem. Your choices.”
“I’m pretty sure you’ve had enough, Remy.”
“Don’t make me mad at you, Jack. It’s too soon in our relationship. Wait,” I stop myself. “We can be mad at each other.”
“You’re not making any sense.”
“Yes, I am. We should be mad at each other.”
“And why is that?”
“Because the sex is so much better when you’re mad at me.” I waggle my eyebrows at him.
“I can’t believe you just said that,” he says to me.
“Really? You can’t?”
“Remy?” He’s still shocked.
“Jack?” I mimic.
He realizes I’m teasing him and gains his composure. “We’ve never had angry sex. So how would you know?”
“Touché.” I take another drink. “I don’t really want to fight yet.”
He laughs. “Good. Joe, I’m taking her home.”
“She gets a freaking boyfriend and I lose a drinking buddy. It’s bullshit,” he says to no one in particular. Well, at least I don’t think to anyone.
“All right, Jack. Take me home.”
***
A week and a half has gone by when Jack’s parents have us over for dinner. Jared and Kylie are there. She’s much bubblier now that her dad is home. I always thought she looked like Jack’s mom, but now that she’s older, she a perfect mix of her parents. But she’s a daddy’s girl. She doesn’t stray far from him, though, constantly seeing to anything he might need.
Erica has gone all out in the kitchen. The ham is just coming out of the oven, making the whole house smell amazing. It’s then that I realize that it’s been since Grams was alive that I’ve had a home cooked family meal. Jack doesn’t realize how lucky he is to have this. Maybe I don’t realize how lucky I am to be included.
“Should I have brought something? Like a pie?” I whisper to Jack.
“No, my mom made an apple pie.”
“But I feel like I should have brought something. It’s like Thanksgiving.”
“This is my mom wanting to impress you.”
“Consider me impressed,” I say and I realize, this could be part of my every day life. Jack is mine, and this is his, too. I am on my way to having the normal family I always wanted. It’s a wonderful realization and I find Jack’s hand and squeeze it.
He gives me a quizzical look, but I only smile in return. He has no idea what he’s doing for me.
We sit for dinner and clasp hands to pray, something I can’t remember the last time I did. I send up a silent request this life works out.
“So, Remy, catch us up,” Erica says.
“Well, I created an app. It’s pretty successful.”
“It’s super successful. Remy’s a millionaire, Mom,” Kylie interrupts.
“Really?” Erica’s surprised by this announcement. “I mean, I knew when you became an investor, you must have some money, Remy. But a millionaire?
“Yes,” I reply.
“And you work at Joe’s?”
“I like to keep busy.”
“Don’t let her fool you, Mom. She did so she could be near me,” Jack says teasingly.
I make no denial.
“But, really, Remy. Couldn’t you find something else? We have a wonderful group through the church, that works within the community to help those who need it. We do charity events, help with the food pantry, get essentials, and do whatever is needed. That might be a better way to spend your time.”
“Mom, stop mom-ing her. She can do what she wants.”
“I’d be interested, but I’m going to stick with the bar for now. Joe might have my head on a platter if I bail on him a second time.”
“Joe would be fine, Remy,” Jack’s dad chimes in. “But I like that you stay busy. It’s good for people to be active.”
“Thanks, Mr. Monroe,” I say shyly. I’m pretty sure he had just given me his approval.
“Call us Zach and Erica,” he says in return, another degree of acceptance. God seems to be answering my prayers quickly.
By the end of dinner, it’s clear, Zach needs to rest. It’s clear by everyone’s face, they see it too. Their smiles have turned to looks of concern.
My shift is about to start at the bar, but it’s clear Jack wants to stay with his family.
“I need to go get ready for work. Erica and Zach, thank you for having me over. It was really nice.”
Erica and Kylie both hug me. Jack hugs his mom.
“Why don’t you stay. I’m just going to work. What are you going to do? Go home? Watch me work?”
“I like watching you,” he says with an impish smile.
“I bet. Stay with your family. I’m fine. Mia and I will come over when I’m done.”
“I’ll wait up.”
I laugh because I know it’s not true. He’ll be sound asleep. I wonder if he will always be a early morning riser and me a night owl.
“I’m going to stay, Mom. I’ll be right back.” Erica lifts a hand behind her to acknowledge her son, but she’s fussing over Zach as he gets into a recliner.
He walks me to my car and gives me a lingering kiss. “I wish you could stay,” he says.
“Go be with your family.” I kiss him again.
He stands in the driveway, until I pull out and am on my way home.
Chapter 20
RC
The last patron leaves and I’m about to go let Mia out when I hear the door.
It’s Tom.
My life was going too well. I had started to relax; he was gone.
“I thought you left town,” I say coolly. He stares back evenly, not saying anything at first. No one is here. The bar is closed so no one is going to come in. I can’t dial 911 fast enough. Mia’s in Joe’s office. She’s probably asleep. I curse at myself for not letting her out the moment the bar was empty, I curse myself again for forgetting to lock the door after that patron. Joe always tells me to do it. I wish I would have done it as a habit. I wouldn’t be here right now, staring at the face of my ex-husband. I can’t help but think what an ugly soul he turned out to be.
The button! The emergency button Joe had installed pops into my head. Tom is still staring at me and I do my best not to look at the button. To not give him any inclination as to what I’m about to do. He’s wanted me alone since I first petitioned the restraining order, when I first began to run from him. And that button is the only chance I have to not feel his fist barreling into my face again.
“I thought you got it that I wasn’t going to leave without you.”
“Listen, Tom, we’re over. Divorced actually. You signed the papers,” I say as evenly as I can. I shift my weight as casually as I can and lean against the bar behind me. I know I have to legitimately jump over this to get to the button before he can get his hands on me.
“I signed the papers because you told the police I was abusive.”
He might be insane.
“You beat the shit out of me, Tom. You are abusive.”
“You deserved it.”
If I wasn’t so focused on finding the perfect moment to get to the panic button, I might have let my jaw drop open in surprise. I deserved it? My miracle in life was I got away from him when I did.
“Maybe so,” I say, deciding not to agitate him. “But it’s been over a year now. Tom, don’t you want to move on? You got your money. It’s enough to let you live on for the rest of your life comfortably.”
“The money is gone,” he spits at me.
I can’t hide my reaction. My eyebrows go up. “You burned through two million dollars?”
“And you changed the account.”
This catches me. “What?” I shift the chair to my right a
little and he takes a step at me. Too much. “What account?”
“Our account,” he spits at me again.
“We don—“ and then I suddenly realize. I started a new account in South Shore because the bank, the bank that Tom worked for, couldn’t give me a straight answer as to why my account never balanced. Identity theft had been one of the excuses and the divorce itself. “If you need money, Tom, I’ll get you the money. I can help you,” I say and sound genuine.
“I want it all, Remmington. And to get it all, we need to be married. So we are going to make this work and you’re going to be happy and I’m going to be happy.”
As happy as a fish out of water. He takes another step towards me and I realize that the time is now; he’s advancing more and more and if I lose any more space, he’ll grab me and then he will have me. My body shudders at the thought of being married to him, to that past. With everything in me, I turn toward the bar, plant my hands and throw my legs up on to the bar, moving to get to the other side. I hear him topple a chair and see him in the mirror. He’s coming. I lunge toward the button and graze it as Tom grabs my legs, and I smack hard into the floor.
I let out a scream, as loud as I can for anyone who is still awake in South Shore to hear me. Mia is barking uncontrollably. Tom’s yelling my name. He’s standing over me and I see my second chance. I kick my right foot up and connect as hard as I can and hit him in the nuts. I don’t wait to see how he handles it. I scramble to the button, smacking it as hard as I can and continue to move to Joe’s office. I rip open the door and get inside with Mia. I lock the door and move to the phone, dialing 9-1-1.
The operator picks up and Tom throws himself against the door. Mia’s back end is in the air and her teeth are pulled back in a snarl.
The operator is asking me questions and I can’t focus on words. “I’m at Joe’s in South Shore. My ex-husband is trying to attack me. I’m locked in an office. I need help. I need help right now.”
That Summer Page 16