Unstable

by Charity Parkerson

  Jimmy moved to join them. “Look at my two favorite people, laughing and—most likely—plotting my downfall. It warms my heart.”

  Logan snorted. Before the man could let whatever smartass retort he’d gather fly, Jimmy kissed Eli.

  “Best get to my men,” Logan said, sounding overly loud and bright.

  Jimmy chuckled against Eli’s lips, pulling a smile from Eli. The happiness in Jimmy’s eyes, as he pulled away, had Eli near to squirming in his seat. That elation was due to him. He’d done that. Somehow, Eli had made this amazing man happy, and he didn’t want to ever stop.

  “Are you okay to hang out a little longer?”

  Eli nodded. “I’m good.”

  Jimmy eyed him. “Are you sure? I want to hit the weights for a bit before we go, but I could skip it.”

  “It’s fine,” Eli said, waving him away. “I’ve got my book.”

  Jimmy pressed another quick kiss to Eli’s lips before snagging his gym bag off the floor. He set it in the seat Logan vacated. “Don’t forget your e-reader is inside if you get bored.”

  A heavy sigh escaped Eli. “Baby, I’m good. Go. Do your thing.” He held the book up, showing Jimmy he still had quite a way to go. “As far as I’m concerned, I’m on Zacron nine, trying to repair my ship.”

  Jimmy didn’t laugh, as Eli had hoped. Instead, his gaze flashed with heat. “Once I finish up here, I’ll take you on a trip to cloud nine.”

  “I like this plan.” Even Eli heard the lust tinting his words.

  Jimmy’s mouth lifted in one corner. “I’ll hurry.”

  With a final kiss, Jimmy was off. Eli tried hard to concentrate on his book. The words kept blurring. The phantom flavor of Jimmy’s cock kept filling Eli’s mouth. Damn. He was an addict. Eli couldn’t wait to have Jimmy alone again.

  “Hey.”

  Eli glanced up from his book, expecting one of Logan’s men… or Satan. Anyone other than Jace. The man was so pretty. It was sickening. His eyes were sweet and his lips were perfect.

  “Hi.”

  Jace waved at the chair next to Eli. “Do you mind if I join you?”

  Eli glanced over at Jimmy’s bag. Did he want to chat with Jace? No, but it seemed it was happening regardless of his feelings. Eli moved the bag. “Sure.” Even to his ears, Eli didn’t sound sure at all.

  “We haven’t officially met. I’m Jace Preston,” Jace said, holding out his hand.

  Eli closed his book, holding his place with one finger before shaking Jace’s hand.

  “Eli Everett.”

  “No offense, but you look really young.” Jace smiled as he said the words, as if attempting to take the sting from them.

  Some form of fuck-it-all rose in Eli’s chest. “Since I was homeless and starving for some pivotal years of my life, I’m not surprised you think so. Malnutrition can fuck you up.”

  Jace flushed.

  Eli fought the urge not to roll his eyes. He couldn’t care less if Jace was embarrassed.

  “That explains a lot. Jimmy’s always been a sucker for hopeless cases.” Eli jerked back, as if Jace had slapped him. Jace blinked. Eli swore he could see the man scrambling for more to say. He cleared his throat. “Wow. Contrary to how that sounded, I did hear myself right then, and that’s not what I meant. You have beautiful eyes and seem nice. I didn’t mean to imply Jimmy only wants you because of his past.”

  Hell would freeze before Eli asked. “What are you talking about?” Fuck. Had aliens hijacked his mind? Jace was back to blinking, as if sending out Morse code for help. Eli held his stare—waiting.

  Jace cast a desperate glance around the room, as if searching for anything else to talk about. His gaze landed on the book in Eli’s lap. “What are you reading?”

  Eli automatically held out his book for Jace to see, even as his mind raced for answers. This man knew why Jimmy was the way he was, and Eli needed that info. “It’s a sci-fi horror novel,” Eli answered absently, scrambling for a way to convince Jace to tell him everything he needed to know.

  “Do you like true crime novels as well?”

  Eli had never wanted to shake some answers out of anyone as badly in his life as he did right then. Still, he nodded. “If it’s well-written.”

  Jace nodded and chewed on his bottom lip, as if trying to decide if he should say something. He turned inside himself for a moment before focusing on Eli once more. One way or the other, the man had decided. “You should check out a book called A Boy Forgotten by Garrison Levy. You might find it… enlightening.”

  “Okay.”

  Jace smiled at Eli’s agreement. “It was nice meeting you, Eli. Maybe say hi next time you’re around.”

  Eli dipped his chin, incapable of agreeing. Lord, he hoped there wouldn’t be a next time, even as he knew that was an impossible dream. As Jace pulled his shirt over his head and climbed into the ring, Eli watched it happened. He didn’t like always thinking the worst. Eli recognized it was an old survival mechanism. Nowadays, it was hard pushing past his habits to gauge people. Jace was sexy. No doubt, he had tons of men falling at his feet. People were watching him now with hunger in their stares. He didn’t think Jace would do or say anything to simply spite Jimmy or him. The man wasn’t a mean person. Maybe a little awkward, but Eli couldn’t judge anyone on that front. The way he’d spoken about that book…

  Eli unzipped Jimmy’s bag. After a second of hunting, he found his e-reader and connected to the gym’s Wi-Fi. Thanks to Jace giving him the name of the author as well as the title, Eli didn’t have any trouble finding the book. The cover was somewhat disturbing. It was nothing more than one side of a child’s face, staring out a nondescript window. Eli scrolled down to the blurb.

  The unofficial story of Jimmy Stone. Sold in a drug deal at only eight years old, Jimmy was held captive for six years by a well-known serial pedophile.

  Everything inside Eli froze with horror. His stomach churned. He couldn’t read another word. The last name was different, but Eli felt it in his gut—this was his Jimmy. Tears pressed against the backs of his eyes. An invisible weight fell on his shoulders, stealing all the oxygen from the room. So many things suddenly made sense. Jimmy’s reaction the morning after they slept together for the first time. The drinking and the lights staying on all night. A thousand tiny details came together, revealing a horrible image. He’d known whatever nightmare lived inside Jimmy was worse than hell, but this… His heart hurt.

  “My sexy baby right where I left him,” Jimmy said, appearing over him and swooping in for a kiss.

  Eli tried flipping the device over as their lips met, but he lost his grip. It slid to the floor, smacking the hard surface, sounding unnaturally loud to Eli’s overwrought nerves.

  Jimmy went down onto his haunches and scooped it up. He flipped the device over in his hands, inspecting it for damage. “It doesn’t look—” Jimmy froze. His gaze fixed upon the screen. Time stopped. Eli didn’t know what to do. Even the air seemed to hold its breath.

  Eli broke beneath the strain. “I wasn’t… Jace…” His hands lifted and fell back to his lap. He’d never felt more out of his depth.

  Jimmy’s gaze shifted back to Eli’s face. He handed Eli the e-reader. “I guess you’re wondering if it’s really me.”

  Eli shook his head, fighting back tears. “I know it’s you.”

  Jimmy blew out a sigh, causing the loose strands of hair around his face to fly out in waves. “In a way, I’m relieved. I’ve been searching for a way to tell you. It didn’t seem fair that Jace knows when he means nothing to me. I talk too much when I’m drinking,” Jimmy said, rubbing his palms on Eli’s thighs in an absent motion and making Eli wonder which of them he was trying to comfort. “One night, the night I meet you, actually, he was screaming at me about how selfish I was because I wouldn’t give up my addiction for him—to save our relationship.” Jimmy smiled. It was frightening. Eli’s lungs labored beneath the sight of it, but he didn’t think Jimmy was really there at the moment. “I told him I could
n’t be fixed, so he needed to stop trying. He kept pushing and so I told him everything.” Jimmy’s gaze sharpened, as if returning to the present. “I’m sorry.”

  Outrage boiled beneath Eli’s skin, threatening to bring out his horrible temper. “Why are you sorry? Jace should be—”

  Jimmy waved a dismissive hand, cutting him off. “No doubt he thought to save you the same heartache I caused him. Do you want to hear something funny?”

  “There’s something funny?” Eli asked, incapable of hiding the horror in his voice.

  “Sure,” Jimmy answered with a bright smile. “That night, I was too drunk and pissed off to hear anything Jace had to say. Since meeting you, I realize he was right. When the right one came along and I fell in love, I didn’t want to drink anymore. Not that it’s been easy, but you’ve been worth it.” Eli was still too horrified by everything he’d learned to think clearly. It took him a minute to hear all the wonderful things Jimmy had said alongside the ugly facts. Before he could respond, Jimmy’s smile fell, killing the words in his throat. He squeezed Eli’s thighs. “Don’t read it, okay? It would kill me if you looked at me differently.”

  “I won’t,” Eli promised. He didn’t want to know.

  Jimmy let his knees hit the floor between Eli’s feet before moving closer. “I’ll tell you how it ends, if you’d like?”

  Eli couldn’t draw a full breath. “You survived. That’s all I need.”

  Jimmy shook his head. His gaze never wavered from Eli’s as he encircled Eli’s waist, as if scared he’d bolt. “I existed. That’s not the same as surviving. I killed him.” Jimmy said the words fast—like ripping off a bandage. By the set of Jimmy’s jaw, Eli wondered if Jimmy expected Eli to reject him now.

  “Good.”

  His features relaxed. With a quick nod, Jimmy acknowledged Eli’s praise. “When I turned eighteen, I was awarded a settlement from the state. I changed my last name and moved here. In my youth, I thought I could run away—start over.” A sad smile passed over his features. “It didn’t take me long to realize I couldn’t escape my mind.” He paused. Eli wanted to say something—anything. Words failed him. He twisted at his fingers in his lap, feeling more useless than ever before. Jimmy continued, sparing him from thinking of something to say. “Before you ask, I’ve had counseling. I’ve had a lot of help, actually. It didn’t work.”

  “I imagine it wouldn’t.”

  Jimmy nodded. “The only thing that keeps me sane is knowing he’s dead.”

  “It’s helping me a lot at the moment too,” Eli admitted. Although he still wanted to find the man’s grave, dig him up, and kill him again.

  An unexpected smile exploded across Jimmy’s face. “I love you.”

  Because he couldn’t take anymore, Eli leaned forward and set his forehead against Jimmy’s. “I love you too.” With their faces only inches away, they held each other’s gaze.

  “I’m on my knees.”

  In spite of the ache in his chest, Eli smiled at Jimmy’s asinine comment. “I know. Are they hurting yet?”

  Jimmy shook his head. Their foreheads squished together at the motion, pulling a chuckle from Eli. “Can I ask you a question?”

  Eli didn’t hesitate. “Of course.”

  “What did you spend the three thousand on?”

  Eli understood Jimmy’s need to change the subject. His chest hurt, but Jimmy was the important one at the moment. Eli could cry later. Now, he’d be the person Jimmy needed. Eli chewed on his bottom lip, biting back a smile before answering, “Hookers and beer.”

  “Oh my God. You still have it,” Jimmy said, sounding disbelieving.

  Eli rushed to reassure him. “No. I spent it. Just ask me something, okay?”

  Jimmy’s smile returned. “Oooh, a secret. I’ll figure this out, you know?”

  Heat flooded Eli’s cheeks. He hated being put on the spot. Jimmy was on the verge of ruining something special to Eli. “You will find out eventually, but not today, okay?”

  Jimmy’s smile fell. His expression turned serious. “Okay, since this is obviously important to you, I’ll drop it.”

  “Thank you.”

  “Will you marry me?”

  “Ask me something else.”

  “No,” Jimmy said, denying Eli for the first time ever and proving he knew Eli better than anyone on the planet. “Marry me,” Jimmy repeated, refusing to let Eli throw away something they both knew he wanted.

  “We’ve only been together eight months.”

  Jimmy’s face hardened. “And if you think that small detail would stop me from following you to the ends of the Earth, you’re in for a shock if you ever decide to leave me.”

  “Okay.”

  Jimmy’s brow furrowed. “Okay, what?”

  “Is that your next question?”

  Jimmy tried smacking Eli’s ass without luck since he was sitting on it.

  Eli chuckled, still wondering if he would hyperventilate even as he agreed to alter their relationship forever. “Okay. Let’s get married.”

  *

  Jimmy watched the words leave Eli’s gorgeous lips with a sense of disconnect. He hadn’t expected the man to agree. His proposal had been one hundred percent genuine, but he’d been prepared to spend the next few months begging—just as he had when he convinced Eli to quit his job. Now, Jimmy didn’t know how to react. He’d known all along he wanted this, but his past had been standing in the way. It wasn’t fair to tie Eli to his side without knowing. Jace had taken care of that. Eli, proving how wonderful he truly was, wasn’t afraid. Even knowing where Jimmy came from, he still wanted to spend the rest of his life with Jimmy.

  “Are you being serious?”

  Eli nodded. “You told me you’d try harder to ask for what you want. I can’t ask for anything more direct than that. I’d be honored to be married to you.”

  Jimmy was speechless. He’d never dreamed anyone would be honored to do anything at all with him—much less tie themselves to his side for life. “So, you’re serious?”

  The smile stretching Eli’s lips went further to ease Jimmy’s mind than anything. “Yes.”

  “You both have the biggest smiles on your face. I had to come over and join in,” Logan said, interrupting before Jimmy could think of anything to say.

  He pointed at Eli. “He just agreed to marry me.”

  Logan blinked. “Seriously?”

  “That’s what I said,” Jimmy said, sounding over-the-top excited even to his ears.

  “Oh my God. That’s amazing,” Logan said, leaning down and pulling off an amazing group hug. Their celebration drew a crowd.

  Malik moved in. “What did I miss?”

  Logan beamed. “Jimmy asked Eli to marry him, and Eli said yes.”

  “Really?” Malik said, sounding shocked.

  Eli snorted. “Why does everyone seem so surprised?”

  At Eli’s question, Malik visibly tried to rearrange his features into a smile. “I just never thought I’d see the day when Jimmy got his shit straight.”

  “Hey,” Jimmy said, without any real heat. He knew Malik spoke the truth.

  Malik kept talking as if Jimmy hadn’t said anything. “But I’m thrilled.” Turning his head, Malik released an ear-piercing whistle, bringing the entire club to a halt. All eyes turned their way. “Jimmy asked Eli to marry him. He said yes.” Catcalls rent the air. Jimmy couldn’t tear his gaze away from Eli. The man’s face was blood red and his hand covered his eyes. Normally, Jimmy would try saving the man from being the center of attention. In this case, he wanted everyone to know Eli belonged to him.

  Several people surrounded them, offering their congrats, and Jimmy came to his feet. Jimmy noticed Jace wasn’t one. The man’s expression spoke volumes. It was apparent he didn’t think he should join in. Even though they hadn’t been meant for each other, Jimmy still felt guilty. He hadn’t really tried to be better for Jace. They hadn’t even slept together, because Jimmy’s body wanted nothing to do with it. He knew he’d made th
e man feel unwanted, and now he was marrying someone else. Jimmy couldn’t blame Jace for staying put. Jace caught him staring. Jimmy dipped his chin, hoping the man understood it was an apology. Jace gave him a jerky nod in return. It would have to be enough.

  “What’s all this?”

  Jimmy’s head whipped around at the sound of Tyler’s voice. “What are you doing here?”

  Tyler waved a hand in Eli’s direction. “Eli said you work out here. I thought I’d check out the place.” He motioned toward where Sam stood at his back. “This gentleman was giving me a tour when I spotted you. Did you win a big match or something?”

  Jimmy noticed Eli wouldn’t meet his gaze. He hadn’t known Eli and Tyler had been talking. The man was full of secrets today. “I asked Eli to marry me.”

  “That’s awesome,” Tyler said without waiting for the rest. It was obvious he didn’t believe Eli would answer with anything other than a yes. “I won’t intrude.”

  “Congratulations,” Sam said quietly, but Jimmy couldn’t tear his gaze away from Tyler.

  “You’re not intruding. You’re family.”

  Tyler looked away. His gaze landed on some point over Jimmy’s shoulder. “Eli will be one hell of a husband. I’m happy for you.” Jimmy didn’t understand why Tyler couldn’t look at him as he said the words. He let it slide for now. He finally met Jimmy’s gaze once more. “I guess you could use that trip to Cooper Island Eli booked for your honeymoon.”

  Jimmy’s jaw slackened. “What?”

  “Goddamn it, Tyler. That was a surprise for his birthday,” Eli said, looking hurt.

  Damn. Tyler was telling on Eli all over the place today. In this case, Jimmy was upset on Eli’s behalf. This was obviously important. He stepped around Tyler, ignoring everything else. “You got me a trip to Cooper Island?”

  Eli nodded, still looking hurt. “That’s what I did with the money.”

  Now Jimmy understood why Eli had asked him not to push. “If it makes you feel any better, I don’t even know where that’s at.”

  A small smile touched Eli’s lips, taking away some of the pressure in Jimmy’s chest. “It’s a secluded island in the Virgin Islands. You asked me once if we could run away. Since it never happened, I thought I’d give you your wish for your birthday.”