Soulmate: Feel My Heart Beat Book 1

by Delmire Hart

  Not that that wasn’t a driving factor, Daniel turned out to be astonishingly open and willing in the bedroom and their tastes matched up in the most delicious way. No, there was more to it but William put it down to him being his soulmate. His romantic soulmate, at that.

  He tried to remember if he ever felt that squeezing feeling, that tightening of the chest before. Had he ever felt like that with her? He wasn’t sure. Those memories were buried so deep in the blackness of his heart behind the haze of alcohol and drugs, he struggled to remember anything distinct. Honestly he didn’t want to think on it now. Never again, in truth.

  No; the only thing he remembered feeling was pain. A ripping, tearing feeling as though his heart was being torn from his body while it was still beating. He tried to push the thoughts away, it wasn’t worth wading through that pain again just for an idle thought. William drowned in it in the past but hadn’t thought of her since meeting his angel of a soulmate. Unbidden the memories rose to mind.

  Everything was indistinct now, the passage of time and forceful attempts at forgetting blurring everything out but that one moment. He could visualise that in as sharp relief as though it had only been yesterday.

  The muted bang; the sharp sound of glass shattering.

  The spray of blood red splattering out. Too much. There was too much.

  The heat of the liquid splashing against him as he reached out in agonising slowness, his body moving in slow motion against his will.

  The dull thud of the body hitting the ground with chilling finality. The panicked yelling and the piercing screams playing out hazily in the background.

  The pool of deep glassy red slowly spreading out around the black leather of his shoes.

  The pain of his heart being torn into a hundred thousand pieces while it was still beating in his chest.

  The nightmare that had haunted his waking moments for years and terrorised his dreams for even longer.

  “William?”

  It took a moment to realise that his arms had reflexively clutched Daniel, holding him so tightly that he must have woken him up. He willed his arms to loosen but couldn’t. He spent several seconds attempting to force himself to relax in vain before Daniel managed to extract himself. The blond sat up to look down at William in concern. The worry deepened at whatever he saw in his face, and then Daniel was carefully pushing him down the bed a little. Surprised, but not in the right mindset to dwell on anything other than forcing himself to move, William obeyed Daniel’s soft instructions. When he finally regained his bearings, he found himself lying on his side further down the bed than normal.

  Then Daniel was there, sliding his arm under his head and wrapping his other arm around his shoulders, pulling him close so he lay with his head against his lover’s bare chest. He was about to protest the treatment when Daniel tightened his hold.

  “Don’t,” Daniel cautioned. His voice was tight with worry while his heart pounded against his ear. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

  That wasn’t that inaccurate but William had no words to give his soulmate. Not now, not after all this time. He couldn’t bring himself to dredge up all the pain he thought he had locked away forever.

  “My Dad went through a really rough patch with work a few years ago while I was still living at home and he had trouble with panic attacks. Mom used to hold his head against her chest and get him to focus on her heartbeat help him to calm down. ‘Focus on my heartbeat,’ she would say, ‘remember that it beats for you and think only of that.’” Daniel cleared his throat in obvious embarrassment as he ran his fingers through William’s hair. The gentle motion was surprisingly soothing. “So just listen and go back to sleep, okay?”

  William took a deep breath, in then out, before moving closer to the warmth of his lover’s skin. Closed his eyes, he shifted his focus to the thudding of Daniel’s heartbeat. Beating for him? That was oddly comforting for one who put little stock in feelings. But then this was his soulmate.

  Mine. All mine.

  A small smile tugged at William’s lips as let himself be lulled back into a dreamless sleep devoid of dark and haunting memories.

  ***

  Daniel slipped out of bed a few hours after William originally woke him up, leaving the man sleeping peacefully in bed. He padded into the kitchen, grabbing the chequered apron and tying it in place before he set about making a nice breakfast for his soulmate. Clearly something had been wrong. He wondered if the man had had a nightmare. It sure seemed like it. The arms around him had tightened to the point it had been getting painful and woke him up. It had taken a few goes at saying his name to get a reaction and Daniel felt an awful, painful twisting in his chest.

  When he finally spoke loud enough to wrench the man back to earth, he seemed to struggle to come back to the present. Daniel frowned. He hadn’t liked the expression on his face. He was a man who rarely showed his emotions yet he stared back at Daniel with wide golden eyes and face drained white. It was such a stark contrast to the usual confident smirk that Daniel floundered for a few seconds. William seemed too out of it to notice though and so he had done the only thing he could think of. He groaned in embarrassment, cheeks heating as he thought of his almost confession.

  “…Remember that it beats for you and think only of that.”

  First, he had been happily playing housewife for the week and now he was coming up with cheesy confessions and saying that his heart was beating for William. He paused mid stir of the pot and realised he was doing it again by cooking him breakfast. The blush infusing his face intensified at the realisation. But considering what happened, it would be nice for the man to wake up to a home-cooked breakfast. He still really needed to get back to his own place and have some space before he did something even worse, though. The new key to his apartment had been given to him yesterday after the door and the lock had been replaced. He asked why William shot out the lock when he had a key and he could have sworn the man seemed almost embarrassed. He never found out what the thought process was so he assumed there wasn’t one.

  William probably only remembered later on when he was getting it all replaced. Now that it had been a week, Daniel’s right hand had almost healed from the gash he got on his last stakeout. He had been surprised that after their round of ‘punishment’, William took great care to clean and re-wrap up the wound and did so each night before they went to sleep. Well, he supposed they were looking after each other in their own way.

  Two arms slid around his waist as a warmth pressed up against his back. He leaned back into the embrace with a contented sigh.

  “How are you feeling?” Daniel asked and felt William stiffen against him.

  “I’m fine,” came the short reply.

  Daniel frowned and turned to face his lover but any more questions were cut off by lips pressing insistently against his own. Clearly the man didn’t want to talk about it. Daniel let himself be swept away for a moment before pulling back to check on breakfast. William didn’t seem too keen on going anywhere and stayed with his cheek pressed against the top of his head and arms wrapped firmly around his waist. Daniel didn’t believe William was fine, not at all. His soulmate could be surprisingly touchy-feely but he wasn’t needy or cuddly like this usually.

  It hurt that the older man was lying and refusing to talk to him about it. While it had obviously shaken him up, William seemed determined to ignore what had happened so Daniel would let it be for now. Everyone got nightmares occasionally, but it felt like more than that somehow. He filed the thought away for later before trying to extract himself so he could plate up their food.

  ***

  Daniel pushed open the door to the café for his weekly friend catch up. It was early Sunday afternoon, so it was a little busier than when he usually catches up with Marcus and Rafael but they had had to postpone in the wake of the threats to Daniel. William deemed it safe enough for him to go about his business as normal as long as he kept himself away from any big underworld scoops. Daniel wasn’t
stupid, he wasn’t about to put himself in a situation like that while his name was being bandied around for his role in putting Barrett away. He could have done without the guards trailing around after him though. It still chafed at him and he wondered how long he would have before it was safe enough to lose them again. Looking around for his friends, he saw them chatting at a small table near the window and made his way over.

  “Dan!”

  “Hey, guys.”

  “Good to see you alive and kicking! We were worried after that message you sent!” Rafael said, grinning like an idiot and bouncing up and down in his seat. A waitress wandered over and took Daniel’s order for a milkshake and cake, both of his friends already had their orders in front of them.

  “We’ve seen the bust all over the news too. Everyone’s going crazy! He was such a well-regarded politician and now to see those awful photos everywhere!” Marcus shuddered. “He got put away for drug, weapon, and human trafficking along with suspected murder. It’s no wonder he had it out for you! Is it even safe for you to be out?”

  “Ah, it’s fine. William forced some guards on me and I stayed with him for the week while he had his men dealing with the threats.” The waitress came back and placed his order down. Daniel thanked her before pulling his milkshake closer to him to take a slurp. “He said it was safe enough as long as I don’t ditch the guards.” He rolled his eyes at the over-protective command.

  “Ah, that’s good then,” Marcus replied, looking relieved. “I get that you’re a total adrenalin junkie but you’ve gotta be careful!”

  “So, Dan,” Rafael interrupted, leaning forward with his elbow on the table and chin resting on the palm of his hand. “How’s William in bed?”

  Daniel, mid slurp, choked on his drink and Marcus wacked Rafael over the back of the head.

  “Ow!” Rafael yelped and pouted at his soulmate while he rubbed his head.

  “Don’t be mean to your best friend.”

  “I thought you were my best friend?”

  “I’m your soulmate, that’s different. I’m stuck with you regardless, but Dan chooses to hang out with you so he’s your best friend. Mine too, so don’t be mean!”

  “I wasn’t being mean!” Rafael whined.

  “You waited until he was drinking just to get a reaction.” They both glanced over at Daniel, who was bright red in the face and still trying to get his coughing under control. “And you don’t need to know about stuff like that, it’s private.”

  “I didn’t expect him to answer me, although that reaction is enough of a confirmation,” Rafael said with a cheeky grin and Marcus gave a rueful sigh.

  “Yes well. You know they had plenty of time to do it before he stayed over for a week, right?”

  “Yeah, but now I know for sure. I mean, you can’t tell me you would stay for a week with your hot romantic soulmate and not tap that?” Rafael replied incredulously.

  Marcus laughed. “Okay, enough of that or poor Dan will die of embarrassment. You keep being mean and he’ll stop talking to you.”

  Daniel could finally breathe again and glared at Rafael but its effectiveness was undermined by his bright red face.

  “Sorry, Dan.” Rafael didn’t look sorry at all. “But I just wanna make sure he’s treating you right, you know? Just because he’s your soulmate doesn’t mean abuse doesn’t happen and we haven’t met the guy yet. I figured it couldn’t be too bad if you get that embarrassed, you wouldn’t react like that if he hurt you.”

  Both Daniel and Marcus stared at Rafael in surprise after the profound statement. Daniel felt his chest swell with warmth at the show of genuine concern his friend had hidden behind his teasing words.

  “For being the dumb blond in our friendship, sometimes you can be surprisingly deep.” Marcus turned to look at Daniel while Rafael protested the insult. “He’s right though, you’re our friend and teasing aside, we want to make sure you’re okay.”

  “Thanks guys but it's fine. William wouldn’t hurt me…” He paused while he thought of his ‘punishment’ with William’s hand stinging across his backside and flushed. “He wouldn’t hurt me like that,” he amended and Marcus’s eyebrows shot up while Rafael laughed out loud.

  “Oooh, Dan’s into things like that, huh? Kinky!”

  This time Rafael ducked the hand that darted out to wack him again.

  “No, but seriously, guys, he wouldn’t. Although…” Both of his friends were suddenly serious and gave over their full attention. “He wouldn’t intentionally. Something was wrong this morning and he lied and told me he was fine. That hurt but it’s not like what you guys are thinking. I just don’t know why he brushed it off when clearly something was wrong. It was like he had a nightmare but I felt like it was more than that. I don’t know how I knew but when I looked at him and saw him all wide eyed and pale, I felt pain in my chest like… Like something was twisting.”

  “Oh, your soulmate sense was tingling.”

  Daniel blinked at Rafael, confused. “What?”

  “It’s like spidey sense but for soulmates.”

  Marcus rolled his eyes before explaining, “It’s like The Pull. If you ever feel like that, don’t ignore it. I’ve only ever felt it a few times. When Rafael’s mother died, when he was in that car accident, things like that. Trust that sense, it’s never wrong. I don’t like that he lied to you about being okay but you’ve only known each other for a few weeks and whatever that was must have been pretty serious. Just keep it in mind.”

  Daniel nodded and sighed. He wasn’t going to let it slide. No, he would figure it out. William was his soulmate, after all. He would find out everything about the mysterious man sooner or later.

  Chapter Seventeen: Preparation

  Daniel stood outside May’s office building, large letters marking the entrance with the name of the magazine, Soul. He had just dropped off the USB stick with all the photos he had taken from the nurse interview over a week ago, apologising for the delay. May waved him off once she found out he was the one who had uncovered the Barrett scandal. With a small lecture about his safety being first and next time he goes underground he only needs to email her, May kicked him out of the building with a promise of a catch up over coffee next time when she wasn’t so strapped for time.

  Daniel was not looking forward to being drilled for all the details about his new-found soulmate and their relationship but at the same time he almost wished she might have had time to talk now. He was still upset over William brushing off whatever that nightmare thing was and he wasn’t sure why it upset him so much. It irritated him that he couldn’t figure it out and the man himself was avoiding the topic anytime Daniel tried to raise it.

  He sighed, no point stressing about it now. Daniel tried to push it out of his head and focused on the next task. He needed to scout out the location from a tipoff he had received from one of his sources. His source thought it might to be related to Barrett and the scramble to take over his position in the underground after his imprisonment. It didn’t seem to be that dangerous of a job, most likely the people in a rush to secure deals and alliances after the fallout would be small time players in the underworld. But it would still be a problem with his guards. There were three tailing him for now and it felt excessive.

  Daniel suppressed another sigh as he headed towards his scooter. The deal was supposed to be taking place at some warehouses not far from his last stakeout. It was a good location for him; the warehouses were old with lots of broken windows, bad lighting creating lots of shadowy alcoves, and plenty of hiding spots. It was also an incredibly shady area and considered dangerous even in broad daylight. Both William and Marcus had told him to co-ordinate with Ueda and get them to help with his stakeouts instead of dodging the guards and he supposed that he would have to in this case. He grumbled when William told him to do that and was planning to escape anyway until he let it slip in front of his friends and Marcus wacked him over the head telling him not to be stupid.

  He reached his scooter and th
e guard, Cameron, he thought it was, stood beside his own motorcycle, casually guarding both vehicles. The guard held out Daniel’s helmet with a respectful head nod that he accepted but didn’t put on straight away.

  “Ah, Cameron?” The guard nodded in encouragement, confirming he got the name correct.

  “Yes, Mr Miller?” Daniel resisted rolling his eyes at the formality. One of these days he would get them to use his first name but now wasn’t the time for that argument.

  “When is Ueda’s shift?”

  If the guard was surprised by the question, he didn’t show it. “He’s on the afternoon shift today, did you need me to pass on a message?”

  Daniel nodded, it was still mid-morning so he wouldn’t see him for a few hours yet. “Yeah, I have a stakeout to plan for and need to scope out the location. I was hoping he would help me plan.”

  Now the guard looked surprised and very relieved for some reason. Daniel raised an eyebrow when Cameron didn’t reply straight away.

  “Of course! I’ll pass it on and let him know,” he said in a rush.

  “Thanks…” Daniel trailed off and stood looking at the guard sceptically. He was positively beaming in relief at him now. “Is that really so surprising?”

  Cameron grinned although he looked a little embarrassed. “I’m just glad you’re relying on us, Mr Miller. I uh…heard about the um…incidents from before I was promoted to your detail. Please rely on us!” He bowed and it was Daniel’s turn to be embarrassed.

  “Uh, yeah. I will, thanks.”