The Diva Cooks a Goose

by Krista Davis

  Mom groaned. “Wait until Phil leaves. I bet we don’t talk about anything else tonight. Poor Marnie. I don’t know how I would react if your father pulled that kind of stunt.”

  Daisy wagged her tail, and I realized that Jen stood behind us. “Can I go home with you and Hannah tonight?” she asked. “I can walk Daisy for you.”

  “That’s not a bad idea.” Mom handed me the pudding. “Bonnie’s Boxing Day party tomorrow is in Old Town anyway.” She pursed her lips. “I wonder if Marnie and Laci will still want to attend?”

  She handed me the plum pudding and fed Daisy a cookie crumb that had landed on the tablecloth.

  Since I was only going next door, I didn’t bother with a coat. But I wasn’t wearing boots and didn’t want to tromp through the snow, so I walked down George’s driveway to the street and turned up the Chadwicks’ drive. I could hear screaming before I reached their front walk. I stopped and debated whether I should return later. But before I could decide, the door opened and Emma blasted out onto the porch. She turned and shouted into the house, “Why can’t you be like other mothers? I will never be the perfect child you wanted. Why can’t you ever be happy for me?”

  She stomped down the sidewalk toward me. “Are you okay?” I asked.

  Emma peered at the steamed pudding. “What’s that? Oh no! Not the witch’s Olde English Cratchit dessert.” She laughed heartily. “We all hate it. Edward and Dad will spend the next couple of days trying to figure out how to get rid of it. Dad is such a fantastic baker, but the witch won’t let him in the kitchen. She knows he’ll show her up. It’s so much more important to her to have something authentic that matches her Olde English Christmas theme. Never mind if it’s edible. We had to pressure her for years to make a turkey. Can you imagine—one year she made a boar’s head. The head, for heaven’s sake!”

  Emma appeared to have calmed down. “At least she won’t be pushing that vile pudding at me. If I didn’t hate it so much, I’d take it with me just to spite her.”

  “Emma!” Across the street and one house down, a young man waved at her. From a distance, he looked like he hadn’t bathed in a while, but then I decided it might just be several days worth of beard growth.

  Emma waved back at him. “Well, see you around. If my dad asks, we’re staying with the Thorpes. Maybe she’ll have to go out for a while, and he can bake Red Velvet Cupcakes for me—my favorite!” She flickered her fingers at me and glanced back at her parents’ house before striding off.

  As I walked up to the front door, I saw that Ginger peered out from behind a curtain, her eyes on Emma.

  I rang the bell and Ginger answered the door, Edward and Forrest crowding behind her. Their crestfallen expressions told me they’d hoped Emma had returned. I held out the pudding to Ginger, who took it and coolly thanked me. The stress of the family turbulence showed on Edward and Forrest, but Ginger had composed herself, and if I hadn’t seen and heard it, I would never have guessed she had just had a screaming match with her daughter.

  An hour later, we had packed Jen’s outfit for the party the next day and loaded the car with an odd assortment of leftovers. Hannah, Jen, Daisy, and I drove away, looking forward to a fun night of movies and girl talk. I didn’t envy my parents or Laci and George. Marnie was sure to be obsessed with Phil and his new relationship with Bonnie.

  The next day, instead of hitting post-Christmas sales, Hannah, Jen, and I took a long winter walk with Daisy. Then we enjoyed a leisurely brunch of crabmeat quiche at home before dressing for Bonnie’s Boxing Day party and strolling down to The Laughing Hound. My friend, Bernie, ran the chic restaurant for an absentee owner and had turned the place into one of Old Town’s most popular dining spots.

  Bernie greeted us at the door, his sandy hair tousled as usual and his British accent charming. “Merry Christmas, Bauer ladies!” He hugged each of us. “Bonnie booked the conservatory room for the party. You know the way, don’t you, Sophie?”

  I assumed he meant the dining room with a glass roof and wall that overlooked a garden. I nodded, but he was already greeting more guests, so I motioned for Hannah and Jen to follow me.

  Someone had decorated the restaurant with lavishly draped swags of pine, accented with plaid bows. Tiny white lights glittered in the deep green. It was tasteful and festive—until we stepped into the conservatory room, where someone had gone wild with candy.

  All pretense of teen maturity melted from Jen. Her eyes huge, she floated into the room with the wonder of a four-year-old. Red, white, and green ribbon candy hung from Williamsburg-style brass chandeliers. A table along the wall, decked in a green flannel cloth, bore glass containers of every shape and size, full of candy, cookies, and assorted bars. More glass urns filled with red licorice, candy canes, and ribbon candies acted as a centerpiece down the long dining table. A stocking with a chocolate Santa poking out of the top hung from the back of each chair. A candy cane leaned in the goblet at each place setting, and each plate held a lacy paper cone filled with sugared nuts.

  Laci snuck up behind her rapturous daughter. “And you didn’t want to come ...”

  “Mom! Did you ever see anything like this?”

  Laci chuckled. “I hate to say anything nice about Bonnie now that she has stolen Dad, but if I didn’t know better, Sophie, I’d think she was competing with you and Natasha for diva status.” Laci turned to Jen and said firmly, “Now, young lady, you’re old enough to know you can’t eat all these sweets ...”

  I tuned out her lecture and Hannah nudged me. “Who’s the hunk?”

  I followed her line of sight and guessed she meant a tall young man with a self-assured demeanor. A slight pudginess around his jaw suggested a fondness for good food. Thick eyebrows the color of coffee beans matched his hair. The top corners of his forehead had become prominent, framing his face like a square at the top, but it ended with a prominent and determined chin. The extra pounds softened his appearance, as did the warm brown eyes shaped like almonds. At ease with himself and the world, he chatted with a group of other people in their early thirties, his hands in his trouser pockets pushing back the navy blazer he wore.

  “He’s too young for you.” I said.

  “I’m not too old to admire good looks.”

  Laci returned her attention to us. “You’ll have to fight Shawna for him. That’s Beau, Shawna’s intended and Bonnie’s son. Unless you mean the guy next to him with the shaggy hair. That’s Tyler, whom I personally like much better than Beau. Beau’s a little bit arrogant if you ask me. He, Tyler, and Shawna have been an inseparable threesome since the day she waited on them and spilled an entire bowl of chili on Tyler. Who’d have thought something like that would lead to friendship?”

  Hannah wrinkled her nose. “There’s just something icky about Beau’s mom dating Shawna’s father. Why does that seem so wrong? Eww.”

  I had to agree. I didn’t quite understand how Bonnie could throw a party for Shawna and Beau, even using the excuse of Boxing Day, and show up with Phil. Didn’t she realize how upsetting it would be for Shawna and her family? I glanced around for Marnie and spotted her outside in the cold without a coat, standing on the shoveled walk in the middle of a dead winter garden blanketed with snow. Even from a distance, her makeup looked perfect, but she couldn’t conceal her bloodshot eyes. She gazed inside, her mouth grim.

  I supposed she’d had no choice about coming. After all, Shawna expected to be making the big announcement about her engagement. Which made it all the more cruel. Couldn’t Bonnie have waited a week before revealing her new relationship with Marnie’s husband?

  Shawna appeared to be taking the situation in stride. She placed a package on a table, which caused me to wonder if we were supposed to bring gifts. White snowflakes dotted the red gift wrap. A wide red ribbon with a white border circled the package and a felt snowman, which appeared to be handmade, hung from the ribbon. I had no idea Shawna was so adept at crafting.

  A hand on my arm distracted me. Bonnie, dressed head to toe
in a winter white knit dress adorned with sparkling silvery bugle beads, held out her arms and kissed the air next to my ear. “I’m so glad you could come. I just know we’ll do great things together. Don’t you adore my sugarplum decor?”

  Sugarplum? I wasn’t completely sure what a sugarplum was, but I had a feeling it wasn’t candy canes or ribbon candy. “When did you find time to do it?”

  “Phil and I came over early this morning with my assistant, Tyler.” She glanced around. “Have you met my son, the lawyer? He’s here somewhere. Why don’t you drop around my place this evening for cocktails? Around six, maybe? We can put our heads together about the organizing videos. I have some great ideas.”

  My parents chose that moment to join us and gush about Bonnie’s candy theme. Bonnie beamed. “I love throwing parties. I hope Sophie will bring you to my Auld Lang Syne Auction.”

  “An auction? Is it in Old Town?” asked Mom. “Sophie didn’t mention a thing!”

  My father had momentarily forgotten all about the sweets and listened in. The only people I knew who liked auctions more than me were my parents.

  Bonnie was in her element as she explained about the auction. “When I opened my shop, I realized that we all acquire new things at Christmas, but few of us clear out old items. So I organized the Auld Lang Syne Auction between Christmas and New Year’s. We ask everyone to donate items they no longer use, and we auction them off, with the proceeds going to needy families. Sometimes it pays for a new roof or guttering, sometimes it helps defray medical expenses. It’s a win-win situation. Everyone gets to start the year on the right foot. That’s why I called it the Auld Land Syne Auction. We’re saying good-bye to something old and everyone gets a fresh start.”

  “Sophie, I can’t believe you’ve never mentioned this to us. What fun!” My mom shook her head in mock dismay.

  “And for a good cause, too,” said Dad. “Do George and Laci know about the auction? There they are ...” He didn’t even finish speaking before he and Mom rushed over to tell George, whom I was quite certain couldn’t care less.

  “I love your parents’ enthusiasm. They’re just the kind of bidders we need. Oh! I see someone I must greet. Excuse me.” Bonnie took off, in nude-colored heels that would have toppled me, but she bypassed the people who appeared to want her attention and made a beeline for Phil, who stared out the window at Marnie with a wistful expression.

  “I hope Phil’s wife isn’t stupid enough to fight Bonnie for him.” The man next to me sipped from a glass of wine, then held out his hand. “Tom Thorpe.”

  “I’m George Bauer’s sister, Sophie. Are you the neighbor who played Santa for the kids?”

  “It was the least I could do. I still can’t believe that anyone could be so mean to little children that he would steal their toys.”

  He didn’t look like Santa Claus. Although his hair had gone silver, he wore it short, which emphasized his masculine bone structure. He also maintained an athletic physique and needed a big pillow to achieve Santa’s girth. His dark eyes glinted with mirth. No wonder my mother found him appealing.

  “My wife and I started that tradition when our sons were young. I just kept it up through the years. Honestly, I think I get as much out of it as the little ones do.”

  “You’re married? You’d better tell my mom.” I pointed in her direction. “She’s determined to find someone for you.”

  He laughed aloud, with genuine joy. “The effervescent Inga. She’s delightful. I look forward to meeting the woman she comes up with—I’ve been a widower for many years.”

  Finally! Someone who wasn’t annoyed by my mother’s constant matchmaking. “I’m sorry about your wife.”

  He took a deep breath. “You never quite get over losing a spouse. But my sons Tyler and Walter are adults now, old enough to be getting married themselves. In fact, I’m going to be a grandpa in the spring.” He hoisted his glass in a toast to someone across the room. Forrest and Ginger’s daughter, Emma, toasted back, but her wineglass appeared to contain milk or eggnog. Without her mother present, Emma was all smiles. I guessed the young man beside her, with the modern messy top haircut, was Dasher. The sides were cut short, but some kind of pomade helped it stand up on top. He’d shaved off the grungy beginnings of a beard, revealing a surprisingly handsome face. In spite of Ginger’s opinion of him, I could understand Emma’s attraction. He appeared quite respectable in a maroon turtleneck and crisply pressed trousers, almost dashing.

  “Now that the kids are grown, I think it’s time for me to enjoy the companionship of a woman again,” said Tom.

  A bell tinkled, and Bonnie asked everyone to take their seats. I found my name written in an elegant script on the cone of sugared nuts on my plate. No sooner had I sat down than the bell rang again. Bonnie stood and raised a wineglass. “To my friends and family, thank you for coming to my Boxing Day party. Merry Christmas to you all!” She sipped from her glass but made no move to be seated. “And now ...” She paused for dramatic effect.

  I glanced at Shawna, seated next to Beau. This must be the moment of the big engagement announcement. Shawna sat up straight and beamed, her face full of happy anticipation. She brushed hair behind her ear with her left hand, but I didn’t see a ring—yet.

  “I have an announcement to make.” Bonnie motioned for Phil to stand next to her.

  He struggled to his feet and smiled.

  “I’m thrilled to share my news with you. I will be giving up my organizing business, and Phil and I will be tying the knot!”

  SIX

  From “Ask Natasha” :

  Dear Natasha,

  I loathe Boxing Day because it signals the end of Christmas and the beginning of Christmas cleanup. Where do I begin?

  —Vexed in Vixen, Louisiana

  Dear Vexed,

  Take a cue from the British and the origins of Boxing Day. The servants worked on Christmas and had the following day off. Their employers used that day to box up items to give to the poor.

  —Natasha

  In the moment of stunned silence that followed, I thought Phil seemed as surprised as everyone else. I looked around for Marnie, who stared at Phil, who was still as a stone statue. Amid the smattering of applause that broke the painful silence, Shawna burst into tears and ran from the table. Laci and Marnie followed her, and though I couldn’t hear what was being said, after a brief exchange with Bonnie, Phil, who no longer smiled, followed his wife and daughters.

  “Mom!” Beau rose from his seat and glared at her.

  “Oh dear. I thought Shawna would be happy for her father.” Bonnie didn’t look too contrite when she sat down.

  Beau took off after Shawna while his mother addressed her guests, but no one in particular. “I feel just terrible. Who would have thought an adult would react like that?”

  Hannah poked me. “Should we go to help? We’re on their side—right?”

  I didn’t know what we were expected to do. Most of the guests appeared uncomfortable. Bonnie had already moved on and was proudly showing off a diamond ring on her left hand. In the end, it was my brother who initiated the mass exodus of the Bauer family. He motioned to my mother, and our entire family excused ourselves and met in the restaurant foyer.

  Jen immediately located her mother and aunt in the large bar area a few steps down. Shawna stood by the oversized fireplace, wiping tears from her face while Beau comforted her. Laci and her parents clustered nearby. Before anyone could stop her, Jen rushed down the stairs to her mom. Like bewildered baby ducks, we trailed after George into the bar lounge.

  Bernie stopped me and asked, “What happened?”

  When I explained, he appeared puzzled. “That doesn’t sound like Bonnie. She’s always so considerate.”

  “Exactly. It’s totally out of character for her,” I said.

  Mom leaned in to our conversation and whispered, “Did it occur to you that she may have done it on purpose to help Beau save face?”

  “What?” Hannah wedged between M
om and me. “That makes no sense at all.”

  “People do a lot of things for their kids. Maybe Beau isn’t ready to pop the question, and Bonnie wanted to provide another reason to celebrate.”

  “But Bonnie is already wearing a ring,” I whispered. “It couldn’t have come as a last-minute thing.”

  “Good point!” exclaimed Hannah.

  And then, as though we had planned it, our little group turned and watched Phil, Marnie, and Laci. Deep in conversation, no one bothered to lower their voices, and they were plenty agitated.

  “You have your nerve waltzing into Christmas with a fiancée on your arm.” Marnie’s jaw twitched in anger.

  “As I recall, you’re the one who threw me out into the cold. What did you expect me to do? No loving wife, no family. Did you think I’d sit on the stoop and cry?”

  “It’s not like you to be so hurtful. Is this what that woman brings out in you?”

  “In retrospect, I see that it may not have been the best idea to bring her to Laci’s house yesterday.”

  “And just whose idea was that?”

  Phil clenched his fist. “There’s no point in blaming anyone. What’s done is done.”

  “Just as I suspected. You’re blindly going along with anything she says. Don’t you see? She’s trying to drive a wedge between us.”

  “That’s not fair. Bonnie is a fine woman. You’d like her if you had met under other circumstances.”

  “Wake up, Phil. She could have waited a few days instead of ruining Christmas for our whole family. She invited us to this nightmare of a Boxing Day party, and I could have met her then, instead of under the worst possible circumstances.”

  “I’m not going to argue about this with you,” said Phil. “We’re separated. I haven’t done anything wrong.”