Crushed

by Pratt, Lulu

  Lifting Emma from her mat, I held her on my lap, softly bouncing her as I counted to ten. She always watched me so closely, her small lips moving as though she wanted to repeat the sounds. Just as I finished the front door opened.

  I hadn’t realized it was time for Ford to get home. My days passed so quickly trying to keep up with Emma. She began to squirm on my lap, waving her arms frantically with excitement. She was always happy to see her father, and it warmed my heart.

  Gently, I placed her on the ground and watched her crawl across the hardwood floor to greet Ford, who knelt with open arms waiting for her. Ford laughed as Emma began screaming with enthusiasm as she approached.

  “There’s my girl!” Ford lifted Emma in the air, kissing her reddened cheek before wrapping her in his arms.

  “You’re the only one who can get her to crawl,” I laughed, making my way to the kitchen.

  “It smells amazing in here,” Ford followed me.

  “Emma had a long nap, so I got to bake a pie,” I smiled proudly.

  “You’re amazing,” Ford slowly shook his head. It was a simple compliment, one he’d said before, but the look in his eyes made it more impactful. There was a brief silence between us, one filled with deep emotion.

  “I wanted to talk about putting Emma’s furniture together. I was thinking we could get it done this weekend so she doesn’t have to keep sleeping in the bassinet,” I said. We’d put it up shortly after my arrival and it was supposed to be a short-term solution, but we’d continued to delay prepping her crib.

  “I wanted to talk to you about that,” Ford said absentmindedly, his eyes focused on Emma.

  “I actually had something I wanted to talk to you about too,” I said. It was something I had been contemplating for weeks. Not wanting to rush things, I held back for longer than I expected.

  Being a friend to Ford was important to me, but I didn’t know how much longer I could go on as we had been. Caring for Emma was a big challenge, more than one could expect from even their closest friend. I needed some changes to happen. I just hoped he was open to hearing me out and prayed we were on the same page.

  The last thing I wanted to do was to ruin all the trust we had built in the past few weeks. Ford looked visibly nervous as he rubbed his hands together. My stomach tensed, thinking he might not like what I had to say.

  “Let’s sit down. I think I need to be sitting for this,” he led me to the sofa, wrapping his strong hand around mine.

  Sitting beside him, I took a deep breath, preparing myself for whatever reaction he might have. Knowing that what I had to say would change our friendship left me uneasy, but I had to speak up for myself.

  Chapter 48

  FORD

  MY FINGERS CURLED into a fist as the nerves got the best of me. I’d spent the better part of the day thinking about how much Charlotte did for me and Emma, and now I knew she was preparing to tell me it was too much.

  She was young, and had a life of her own she wanted to live. It was only natural that she’d want space to do the things important to her. Whenever I asked about her work, she assured me she could still fulfill her duties and care for Emma, but I imagined it had to be a lot on her plate. I would never be able to do as much as she did.

  Whenever I watched Emma, I was lucky to get a shower in, but Charlotte could clean the whole house and prepare dinner. She amazed me every day, but I was asking too much of her. It was much more than any friend or lover could bear.

  I wanted to try to rebuild what we had, certain it would be even better now. We’d developed this unbreakable bond as a foundation, or at least I thought. To me, the love was even deeper with the addition of Emma. I saw Charlotte in ways I hadn’t before, as a mother figure and caretaker. She was so kind and gentle with Emma – motherhood suited her nicely.

  While I was still trying to figure things out, she seemed to get the hang of caring for Emma almost instantly. She jumped in without any delay, loving Emma as though she were her own. I loved her even more for that.

  “I don’t want this to ruin what we’ve built, either way it goes,” Charlotte began and my stomach tensed in knots at the inevitable. I knew she was going to tell me she didn’t like how we were carrying on, that it was unfair to her. She gave so much, and I wasn’t doing enough to show her how much I appreciated her. I mentally kicked myself for blowing it with her again.

  “I don’t know how we can find common ground, and I don’t know if you feel the same way,” she spoke softly. I realized she was as nervous as me, so I forced myself to be strong for her.

  “It’s okay, Charlotte. Whatever you want to say, I want to hear it,” I assured her, placing my hand over hers.

  She took a deep breath, glancing at me just long enough for me to see the emotions swirling in her eyes. I wanted so badly to take her in my arms so she knew there was never anything to worry about when it came to us. No matter how she wanted to move forward, I would always love and support her, through anything.

  There was no wrong Charlotte could do in my eyes. She would always have a safe space with me. Watching her move uncomfortably on the sofa, I had to fight the urge to hold her. She was strong, but when it came to me, I could see how defenseless she was at times.

  “I don’t want to keep going on like this,” she blurted the words out and I felt my shoulders drop, as she confirmed what I’d feared. Against my better judgement, my head dropped, my eyes looking to the floor filled with Emma’s toys.

  “I mean, I love you too much, Ford,” she continued, jolting my sad thoughts.

  “What?” I asked in shock, unsure if my mind was playing tricks on me, only hearing what I wanted.

  “I’ve loved you forever, Ford. Longer than I can even remember. You’re the only man I’ve ever loved, and while I value the friendship we’ve built together, it’s not enough. I don’t know if we can ever go back to the way things were, or if we can build something new, but I want to try. I want to build a future together, with you and Emma.”

  My breath was labored, my emotions swirling so fast I didn’t know what to do. I’d never felt so deeply for anyone either, and hearing her reciprocate the feeling was more than I ever expected.

  “When Virginia showed up, I was shocked and hurt,” she continued. My emotions dampened at the sound of her name. Virginia was one of the few people I truly disliked in the world. The way she up and left Emma, I doubted I would ever fully understand.

  I loved Emma so much, I couldn’t imagine not wanting to be in her life. Emma lit up every room she entered, her bright smile enough to warm the coldest of hearts. But her own mother wanted to spend her days gallivanting around the world rather than caring for her. She dropped her daughter off like a sack of potatoes with no plans to return.

  On the other hand, without Virginia, there would be no Emma. I couldn’t regret my night with her, because it had produced the most important part of my life – my daughter. Virginia did not prove to be a fit mother, but I couldn’t continue to dislike the woman responsible for giving me my daughter.

  In the end, Emma got the mother she deserved in Charlotte, and she was telling me she wanted to start over and build a life together, all that I had wanted. I decided then and there to let go of all the bad feelings I held for Virginia. She had done her part, and I was grateful for her role in creating Emma.

  “Seeing how you care for Emma has only made me love you more,” Charlotte continued as my heart swelled. “In the end, I wouldn’t ever want you to choose a woman over our child. So, I think you did the right thing, and I’m proud of you for stepping up to the plate to care for her. You’ve altered your life so much, and you’ve never complained.”

  She continued to praise me, but all I could think about was how she had done the same thing. And unlike me, she had a choice. Emma was my responsibility. I was her father, but Charlotte had no ties to my daughter. She could go on about her life without judgment. No one expected her to do as much as she did. She was the one worthy of praise, not me fo
r doing what was expected of me.

  “I know that’s a lot to consider, so you’ll need some time to think about it, but I just wanted you to know how I feel,” she said, exhaling deeply.

  “Are you kidding me?” I asked, chuckling at the absurd notion that I would need even a second to think about whether I wanted to move forward with the woman of my dreams. “Of course I want to build a life with you. It’s all I want. You’re the best mother I could ask for to be here for Emma,” I said, seeing the tears come to her eyes.

  I knew she had a difficult time accepting the mother role. Because she hadn’t birthed Emma, she felt it was unfair to refer to herself as a mother. But she was more than Emma’s birth mother ever was. Charlotte cared for her unconditionally, and put Emma before her own needs.

  In the few short weeks she had been caring for Emma, I learned so much from Charlotte about putting others’ needs before your own. She was an angel in my eyes, and I was happy to spend every day showing her how much I appreciated her.

  “Okay, what did you want to talk to me about? I don’t want to start crying.” She tried to change the subject.

  I’d almost forgotten about the proposal I planned. Now, it felt even more fitting, proof that we were on the same page. “Oh, right,” I smiled.

  I’d never felt more in sync with anyone. Our thoughts always aligned, as though we were one soul in two bodies. Charlotte was the best addition to my life, the missing piece I didn’t even realize I needed so desperately.

  “I wanted to know if you would move into the larger home with us,” I asked, taking her hand into mine. “It was the reason I didn’t want to put Emma’s furniture together. I requested one of the family units. There’s more space and a huge back yard for her to play. The kitchen is even bigger, and I’ll get you whatever you need to make it perfect. I’ve always wanted to build a life with you in a place we can call our own. I know it’s not your perfect fairy tale, but I want to make it as special as I can, baby.”

  Unable to fight the tears any longer, Charlotte covered her eyes, allowing the tears to flow freely. “Yes! Of course I want to move with you.”

  I took the opportunity to retrieve the box I’d tucked into my work bag. The rectangular box contained what the salesman at the jewelry store said was the perfect gift.

  “I wanted to get you something to show you how special you are to me. I got this on the way home,” I said, opening the box. Charlotte’s hands fell to her lap and her eyes lit up looking at the sparkling earrings.

  “They are beautiful, Ford,” she smiled, sighing deeply.

  “Just like you,” I smiled, placing the earrings in her hand so she could put them on.

  Charlotte turned to kiss me, releasing all the passion I’d feared we lost. Our lips melted together, a perfect fit, and I felt my life falling back into place.

  Chapter 49

  CHARLOTTE

  “AS ALWAYS, dinner was delicious,” Ford said as he gathered our empty plates from the table. My roasted chicken had come out perfectly, and the apple pie was even better.

  It was difficult to hold a conversation with him, though, because my mind was already on what would happen after we finished the meal. Emma had already been bathed and put to sleep, leaving us alone for the first time since we’d agreed to work on our relationship.

  My body was already calling for him, missing the way he made me feel in our most intimate moments. Ford had a way of commanding my body that I had been craving since our breakup.

  “We can leave those for the morning,” I suggested when he began rinsing the dishes.

  When Ford turned to me with a grin, I knew he understood just what I wanted. Yet he still wanted to make me wait. “Why? Are you in a rush for something, Charlotte?”

  He was taunting me, forcing me to be patient for something I’d wanted for days. There was no lack of intimacy in our relationship. Even the romance had continued, with sweet compliments and occasional hand holding. But feeling him in the depths of me, stretching to my max, was a distant memory I needed to feel again.

  “You want me to beg?” I smirked, moving closer to him.

  We’d eaten dinner side by side, as opposed to at opposite ends of the table like we usually did when I cooked dinner for him. I’d only stayed for dinner a handful of times since our relationship had been rekindled. When we weren’t dating, it was a bit too painful. It was a glimpse at a life I’d missed out on, and sitting across from him often felt like torture.

  Emma would be in her high chair, laughing away as I fed her one bite after another. And Ford and I would have casual conversation about work. It was never awkward, but deep down I wanted more. The desire built up more and more as the days passed, until it bubbled over recently.

  More than a want, I needed Ford. He was a part of me now, and I didn’t like the idea of us delaying what felt so natural. Now that we had finally agreed to move forward with our relationship, I felt free to display all the affection and lust I’d been bottling up.

  “You never have to beg me for anything,” Ford said, shutting the water off as he turned to me.

  Without hesitation, he took the nape of my neck into his hand, pulling my lips to his. Our tongues crashed against each other. Our embrace was so needy, my teeth scraped against his tongue. The deep groan he let out sent chills down my spine.

  It had been so long since I heard the sounds of his pleasure, I’d forgotten how much they turned me on. I was hungry for him, my pelvis tight with the tension I’d been forced to contain. Our hands roamed each other’s bodies, gripping and teasing.

  Feeling the warmth between my legs, I took Ford’s hand, leading him to my sweet spot. Reaching beneath my dress, he brushed my panties aside, circling my swollen bud as his tongue explored my mouth.

  “Ahh,” I pulled away from his kiss, moaning loudly when his two fingers slid inside me, curling to massage my g-spot slowly.

  Ford didn’t slow, but instead he moved to my neck, moving his tongue in circles along my skin. It had been so long my senses were heightened, the hairs on the back of my neck standing at attention as he continued to caress me.

  With his free hand, he massaged my nipple until it threatened to tear through the thin fabric. I was more than ready, my body racing to a release.

  “Please, I want you.” I moaned, my fingers gripping a handful of his hair.

  “Show me,” he urged in the most seductive tone.

  I was stuck, unable to match his seduction as my body now belonged to him. It was the Ford Delvey show, and he had come to entertain. My hips moved to his rhythm, curving my body to feel his fingers along my clit. My back arched to press my breast into his hand, seeking more friction.

  He moved slowly, so slowly it was torturous. Never rushed, he took his precious time bringing me to climax, paying attention to my responses as my body spoke clearly.

  “Show you how? I’ll do anything,” I whined, feeling my body tense as the pleasure threatened to overflow. I was ripe for an orgasm, racing towards an explosion.

  Standing in the kitchen, with one leg lifted to wrap around his waist, I was his. On an unsteady foot, I reached for the counter, needing the stability. The world beneath me seemed to be spinning as everything slowed.

  “Come for me, baby,” he whispered against the skin of my neck before biting into my flesh. I exploded with arousal, crying his name as my climax took over me.

  Ford groaned as he continued to stroke me with his fingers before he dropped to his knees, taking me in his mouth as he juiced me for every ounce of pleasure. My instinct took over, pushing my sex against his tongue, greedy for more.

  His moans against my clit felt like vibrations, extending my climax further. When he was satisfied with my release, he rose to his feet, and we scrambled to undo his belt, fighting with the metal buckle. I grabbed a condom from my nearby purse, gingerly tearing the wrapper with my fingers as I came down from my orgasm.

  Lifting me off the ground, my legs wrapped around him like choreography
before he slid into me with ease. I was so wet, I could hear him slide in and out of my center. He slowed, and I knew it was to restrain himself.

  “Don’t hold back, let me feel you.” I was begging. Wanting him at his most vulnerable as he had felt me.

  He groaned loudly before obliging me. Lifting me and dropping me aggressively, I welcomed his length into my warmth. He was a perfect fit, even better than I remembered. Hearing him moan my name as his own release neared turned me on further, and I prepared for another orgasm as the last one still left my legs weak.

  “Charlotte,” he groaned. My name sounded like sex rolling off his tongue. “Baby,” he groaned, his hand full of my breast as he still catered to pleasing me.

  Alone in the kitchen, we were so starved for each other we couldn’t bother making it to the bedroom. Our eagerness was so erotic, the aggressiveness and animal-like sounds pushed me further. Ford had abandoned rhythm altogether, focused now on his climax and nothing else.

  “Yes! Right there!” I called as he hit the perfect spot, gripping onto my shoulders to make sure I took every inch of him.

  He moaned loudly, his hips bucking wildly. I knew he was seconds away from losing control.

  “I love you, Ford,” I moaned with what I thought were my last words before falling into another orgasm.

  “God, I love you,” he groaned before kissing my neck. “Charlotte, baby,” his words were so soft, so vulnerable, I could feel the emotion.

  “Yes! Ford!” I cried.

  “Marry me, Charlotte. Please! I want you forever!” He groaned and I lost control, unable to contain the emotion and pleasure any longer.

  “Yes! Yes! Yes!” I moaned loudly as I came long and hard. Ford followed behind me, his body ravishing mine as he relinquished control.

  His arms wrapped tightly around me as he slowed to a stop, his face buried in my neck.

  It was far from what I had envisioned, but still perfect. Our love had been tested, and it passed with flying colors. Our trying time had made us even stronger than before, a bond that was unbreakable. Our connection was strengthened. I felt closer to him than I had anyone in my life.