Just Tell Her

by Nicole Pyland

  “And she’s calling again now?”

  “She just hung up, but I guess.”

  “Are you going to call her back?” Charlie asked.

  “Should I?”

  “That’s not really a question I can answer for you, Lena. Do you like her?”

  “I hardly know her. She’s nice. She’s a social worker. She has a cat. That’s about as much as I know about her, outside of the fact that she goes to the gym four days a week.”

  “If you want to call her, you should call her.”

  Charlie didn’t know what else to say. Lena was new to dating women. Charlie wasn’t ready to say they had anything exclusive. They’d been on two dates, and while they were great dates, they hadn’t even kissed yet, because Lena wanted to take things slow. Charlie didn’t think it was fair of her to ask Lena not to call another woman back. Charlie had no intention of seeking other female companionship, but if a woman happened to strike her fancy in her desire to push Hailey Grant out of her heart and mind once and for all, she wouldn’t say no to the possibility either.

  “You’d be okay with that?” Lena asked.

  “We’re just starting out. If you want to date other women, I’d understand that,” Charlie stated.

  “I might call her, but I don’t know.”

  “Okay,” Charlie told her.

  “I should go. I have to grab something to eat before I pass out, and then I have a late meeting with a vendor.”

  “Lena, I don’t-”

  “It’s okay,” Lena interrupted. “I’m not upset. You’re being completely logical. I understand, I promise. I just really do have to go.”

  “I’ll call you, okay?” Charlie told her. “Sunday.”

  “Have fun this weekend.”

  Charlie had no reason to think Lena was upset by it. Her tone conveyed that she really did understand Charlie. Charlie didn’t think she was being unreasonable in suggesting Lena to call this Mara woman. Charlie remembered that after Julia, she kind of became a bit of a woman on a mission. She didn’t sleep around or anything, but she would sneak into some gay clubs, after telling her mom she was sleeping over at a friend’s house. She enjoyed getting to know different girls somewhat around her age. She’d made out with a lot of them, she’d slept with a few, and she always considered that to be something she needed to do for herself. It sounded silly to her now, but she’d been out for a long time. She’d fallen for Hailey shortly after those experiences, and the idea of sleeping around or even going out to meet different women and dating them at the same time just seemed wrong.

  She didn’t like the idea of Lena dating someone else. She didn’t want her to go out with Mara. She certainly didn’t want Lena’s first kiss with a woman to be with someone else. But she also knew that this was Lena’s journey to go on. If she liked Mara enough and things went that way with them, then Charlie would have to deal with it. If she and Lena ever got to the point of exclusivity, it wouldn’t matter anyway.

  That was new. As Charlie sat on her couch, she realized that might be the first time she’d considered being in a relationship with another woman in a long time. Her previous relationships had always been with Hailey still in the back and, often times, the forefront of her mind. This was her first attempt at a concerted effort to not keep Hailey back there; to not compare Lena to Hailey in every way. She smiled at that revelation. She would be able to move on from Hailey after all.

  Her thoughts did drift back to Hailey, though; when she remembered she’d seen and worked with Emma earlier that day. She’d done her best to remain professional, because that was what her job called for; but it had been hard, because Emma kept asking her questions about her personal life. She wanted to know about Hailey and their friendship, about Ember, and about Charlie herself. She seemed to think they were just two friends, meeting at a dilapidated building to talk about their personal lives, when all Charlie wanted to do was stop thinking about how her working on this project had brought Emma back into Hailey’s life. Charlie didn’t ask if they were together. She assumed they were at least dating or trying to figure out if dating was on the horizon. She knew she’d hear more about it over the weekend and was dreading the drive to the lake house. It would be only about an hour, but Ember and Eva were picking them both up, which meant she and Hailey would be in the back seat. They’d be spending the next two nights with their four shared friends. Charlie meant what she said though. She wouldn’t cause any problems for Ember’s wedding. She’d put on a brave face and she’d have fun too. She had at least the prospect of Lena on Sunday and beyond to help her through any talk of Hailey Grant and Emma Colton.

  CHAPTER 10

  Hailey watched Ember pull up to the curb outside her office and saw Eva wave at her from the passenger’s side. She noticed the back door open and saw Charlie get out. Her hair was getting longer. It was still a pixie cut, but it really did appear that she was growing it out. Hailey didn’t say anything at first. She just watched Charlie take her roller bag and place it for her into the open trunk.

  “Hey,” Charlie greeted her after she closed the trunk and Hailey walked to the open back door.

  “Hi,” Hailey returned unconfidently.

  She hated this. They’d never been like this with one another.

  “I promised Ember I wouldn’t be an asshole this weekend.”

  “Were you planning on being an asshole before you made that promise?” Hailey questioned with a shy smile.

  Charlie smiled back.

  “Not technically, no.” She leaned against the side of the car between the trunk and the door. “Hails, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you feel bad or anything. I just have some stuff-”

  “To work out,” Hailey completed for her. “Yeah, I remember.”

  “I’d like us to just be us this weekend, if that’s possible.”

  “Us?” Hailey asked. “Friends again until you push me away as soon as Ember drops us off?”

  “No, that’s not…” Charlie was clearly trying to find a way to say something, and Hailey just glared at her quizzically.

  “It’s fine. Let’s just be us this weekend. After that, you can go back to figuring things out by yourself.”

  “Hails.”

  “Charlie, I’m fine. I just don’t want to talk about this anymore. You’ve made your point. I’m trying to give you what you asked for. We also happen to be in this wedding, and we can’t be a problem for Em and Eva, so I get it. Let’s just go.” She climbed into the car and, thankfully, heard the radio blaring loudly.

  She wasn’t sure if it had been doing that before or if Ember or Eva turned it up when they started talking outside. Charlie climbed in next to her, and Hailey scooted over and away from her. Charlie pulled the door closed and stared out the side window.

  “Hey, Hails,” Ember greeted.

  “Ready to get this wedding party started?” Eva turned and asked her with a smile.

  “I am totally ready.” Hailey smiled back, excited by her friend’s upcoming nuptials.

  “Then, let’s get to it.” Ember put the car in drive and moved them into traffic.

  Hailey glanced over at Charlie, who appeared to be staring outside. Charlie must have felt her glance and turned to see her staring. Hailey offered her a sideways smile, which Charlie returned, but it clearly didn’t meet her eyes. ‘And they were great eyes,’ Hailey thought to herself.

  “It’s not your fault,” Charlie whispered to her, while Ember and Eva talked about something in the front seat.

  “What’s not?”

  “What’s going on with me; it’s not your fault,” she said. “I’m sorry if I made you feel that way.”

  Hailey leaned over until their faces were close enough to speak a little louder, but not draw the attention of Ember or Eva.

  “Why can’t you tell me? You’re the person I tell these things to. I thought I was your person.”

  Hailey watched Charlie’s dark eyes watch her own, then lower her gaze before lifting them back u
p to meet her green eyes again. Charlie’s expression was something Hailey hadn’t seen on her before. She couldn’t identify it, but she loved the little glint of what appeared to be happiness, maybe, in Charlie’s eyes.

  “Hey, Alyssa and Hannah are already there,” Eva proclaimed.

  Hailey turned her attention to Eva, who had her phone in her hand and was staring at the message.

  “They left earlier,” Ember told Eva. “Tell them the key to the place is in the mailbox and to go on in.”

  Eva began typing her reply.

  “This is going to be fun,” Eva stated after hitting send.

  But as Hailey met Charlie’s eyes again, she wasn’t so sure.

  ◆◆◆

  “Okay, so there are three bedrooms in this place,” Ember began when they started removing bags from the car and carrying them inside. Alyssa and Hannah helped. “Eva and I are taking the master. Sorry, ladies,” she proclaimed. “Alyssa and Han, you are in a room with the queen and sorry, Charlie and Hails, but you two have the twins.” Ember shrugged at them as they entered the house.

  It was a large two-story structure that looked like it belonged in any main street suburban neighborhood. It even had the shutters on the windows and the front porch. The foyer opened up to the wide staircase with a small loft at the top. There was a living room to the right that had a large fireplace with a stack of wood ready to go and what looked to be fairly comfortable furniture. To the left was the dining room with large oak table with eight chairs. Charlie couldn’t see the kitchen initially, but as she dropped their stuff at the door, removed their winter gear, and headed past the staircase, she saw a kitchen with new appliances and old wallpaper with a 70s-style floral pattern. Charlie followed Ember out a backdoor off the kitchen, which led outside to a patio covered in snow. Through it, she could see a covered grill, that probably got a lot of use during the spring and summer months, and the lake itself, through some trees that had long ago shed their leaves. She was cold but wanted to enjoy the view for a minute before heading back inside. She watched Eva come out to stand next to Ember and wrap her arms around her body, while Ember put her arm around Eva’s shoulders and pulled her in a little to warm her up. Then, she felt hands on her hanging arms, sliding up and down at a rapid pace.

  “You always get so cold.” She heard Hailey’s voice from behind her as she closed her eyes. This was not helping. “You should get your coat, if you’re going to stay out here. Remember when you nearly froze to death on that Michigan trip?”

  “Yeah.” Charlie took a step forward, severing the contact. “I’m going to unpack.” She walked around Hailey and back inside the house.

  “Hey, are you two okay?” Hannah asked her when Charlie nearly passed her in the kitchen without saying anything.

  “Yeah, why?” Charlie questioned back.

  “Just checking. You guys don’t seem like your normal Charlie and Hailey selves.”

  “What does that mean?”

  Alyssa made her way in, carrying a paper bag of groceries, and began removing items.

  “I don’t know. You’re normally all smiles around each other, and there’s this…”

  “Banter,” Alyssa finished her wife’s sentence. “You guys banter a lot.”

  “Yeah, that’s what it is,” Hannah agreed and smiled at Alyssa.

  “I’ll give you a pick of the beds,” Hailey said as she walked into the kitchen.

  Charlie let out a deep breath.

  “The one by the window,” she returned and glanced over her shoulder at the girl with the green eyes.

  “I knew it.” Hailey pointed at her and then walked by into the hallway that would lead her to the stairs. “You’re going to get cold,” she reminded.

  Charlie followed Hailey toward their bags and they carried them up the stairs. They walked past one bedroom, that had a queen bed, and then past the master, which had a nice king bed and, likely, the master bath. On the right was the bathroom they’d share with Alyssa and Hannah. The last door was their room. They walked in to see a room that looked like Charlie’s grandmother had decorated it forty years ago. There were two ancient twin beds sharing a wall, and above each bed, there were picture frames that were made to look like a window with images of nature in its faux glass. There was an old man doll on one bed leaning back against the pillow and an old woman doll on the other. They both had glasses and appeared to be staring at them.

  “That is some creepy shit,” Charlie said.

  “Do you think the place is haunted?” Hailey looked over at her and then at the room again.

  “Don’t joke about that,” Charlie said and dropped her bag in front of the bed nearest the window.

  She looked at the wide dresser with three drawers. The old-fashioned TV on top of it was so small that even if it actually got HD, they wouldn’t be able to see anything on it. Charlie wondered if it was more for decoration than anything else.

  “You scared of ma and pa ghost dolls?” Hailey had the bed with the old man doll on it and she held it up to look closer.

  “Ghost dolls?” Charlie gulped at the creepy looking creature on her own bed.

  Hailey walked over, picked up the doll of the old woman and carried it over to the closet. She opened the door and sat them on the floor before turning to face Charlie.

  “I even made them face the wall. Just don’t hang anything up in there, and you’ll be fine.” Hailey winked at her.

  “Thanks.”

  Charlie walked over to the window and pulled back the curtain. Their room didn’t face the lake directly, but it did have a nice view of evergreen trees. She could also see a squirrel scamper from one place to another, and that made her smile.

  “This place actually reminds me a little of your mom’s place.” Hailey sat on the edge of Charlie’s bed behind Charlie near the window.

  “This place is massive. My mom’s place is a shack compared to this.” Charlie turned to see Hailey there with her hands clasped in her lap.

  “Not the whole house,” Hailey explained. “This room. It’s a little like her guest room. She even had the twin beds with white bedspreads.”

  “Because she had this delusion that JJ and I would stay over more if she had a room for us.” Charlie sat beside Hailey on the bed. “She kind of forgot JJ has a wife he’d probably bring along.”

  “It was a nice idea though, and it worked for us,” Hailey said.

  “She tries,” Charlie said of her mother.

  She stood and began unpacking her bag. She placed the few items she’d brought for two days into the top drawer in front of her bed. Hailey did the same with the top drawer on the right. A few minutes later, they made their way back down the stairs to hear laughter in the kitchen and headed that way.

  “What’s so funny?” Charlie asked.

  “Nothing,” Alyssa said and pointed a baguette at Hannah, as if to keep her from answering the question.

  “Babe, it was funny.” Hannah laughed more. “When we were on our honeymoon, this one here, tried to dive into the water and ended up belly flopping. It was hilarious.”

  “It hurt, Han.” Alyssa gave her puppy dog eyes.

  “You had to be the bad ass diver.” Hannah kissed her cheek.

  Ember and Eva made their way into the kitchen.

  “So, I’m thinking dinner first and then planning fun,” Eva suggested while rubbing her hands together quickly.

  “Seconded,” Ember agreed with her. “I’m cooking because none of you can, but I’m putting Charlie on table duty, Hails on wine pouring duty, Hannah is in charge of the salad, and my wife-to-be here is in charge of cutting this bread.”

  “Always the restaurant manager,” Charlie said in Ember’s direction.

  ◆◆◆

  The six of them went through the motions of creating dinner and keeping polite conversation, but Hailey couldn’t focus on the topics being tossed out. She kept glancing in Charlie’s direction, wondering what was going through her mind. She started to wonder mor
e if what she’d said before had been true. She’d thought they’d always shared everything with one another because she’d always shared everything with Charlie, but now that she was seeing this version of Charlie, perpetual bad mood Charlie, she considered that maybe more of the bad moods had been Charlie keeping things to herself. That terrified her. She wanted to be Charlie’s person; the one she shared everything with and withheld nothing from. She looked around and knew that Ember had found that person in Eva. She even knew from her short time of being friends with Hannah and Alyssa that they had found that in one another too.

  “Huh?” She uttered, standing next to Charlie while she put the napkins on the table and Hailey set the now empty bottle of red wine down.

  “What?” Charlie questioned.

  Hailey realized she’d said that out loud and looked wide-eyed at Charlie.

  “Oh, something for work. I just remembered.”

  “Okay.” Charlie sat down in her chair, and the others followed in.

  Hailey sat down next to her and chanced a look in her direction, while Charlie was helping Ember set down their dinner. She was Charlie’s best friend and would always be close to her. She’d always be important to Charlie. But, eventually, Charlie would find a girlfriend, and then a fiancée and a wife. That woman would become Charlie’s person. She took a long gulp of her water and thought about how that would change their relationship. She lowered her head as she recalled the fact that Charlie had a date a week ago and she had no clue how it had gone.

  ◆◆◆

  “So, we’re thinking about simple, flowing dresses, with the same color on both sides,” Eva began. “Accents in jewelry, but just simple stuff. Neither of us really wants a big wedding, but we want to give this to our families and have some of ourselves in it too, obviously.”

  The six of them sat in the living room. Ember and Eva were sitting on the sofa, while Hannah was sitting in front of Alyssa between her legs on the floor. Charlie was on the floor across from them, wrapping a blanket around her body.