Just Tell Her

by Nicole Pyland

  “Yeah?” Ember asked a little shyly.

  “November Elliot, that is your wedding dress,” Charlie chimed in, and Hailey turned to glance at her. “You’re getting married, Em.”

  Charlie brightened, and her tone lightened at the same time. Hailey hadn’t seen this side of Charlie before. She was never a sappy woman. Hailey found herself wondering how Charlie was with her past girlfriends. Had she been a romantic? Had she’d ever done anything like what Hailey had heard Ember and Eva had done for one another, or even Alyssa’s proposal to Hannah at the top of the Ferris wheel on Navy Pier?

  “I know. It’s crazy,” Ember said. “I’m getting married, guys.”

  “I never thought I’d see the day when you’d settle down.” Charlie sat on the edge of Ember’s bed.

  “Me neither, until I met her.” Ember walked into the master bathroom and closed the door just enough so that she could change in private. “And now I can’t imagine my life without her. That’s what it is, you know?” she asked them, but didn’t wait for a response. “That’s what made it different for me. I couldn’t imagine her not being mine. I couldn’t imagine myself with anyone else.” She emerged from the bathroom a few moments later, and after a second of silence, Hailey turned to her and felt Ember’s confused expression on her.

  “Hey, babe!” Eva’s voice came from downstairs.

  “I’m putting this away. You two, stall her,” Ember rushed.

  “Yes, ma’am,” Charlie joked, mockingly saluted, and stood.

  Hailey waited a moment and then followed her out.

  ◆◆◆

  “Hey, guys. Is Em upstairs?” Eva asked when they arrived in the kitchen.

  “Yeah, she’ll be right down.”

  “She bought the dress, didn’t she?” Eva questioned. “I got dinner.” She was in the process of unpacking bags of food.

  “Are Hannah and Alyssa coming?” Charlie asked.

  “No, Al’s brother is home on leave from Germany. It was sudden, and he’s only there for four days. They left for Los Angeles yesterday. Al helped me pick out my dress, though, but I haven’t gone to actually pick it up yet. Hey, babe,” she said it all very quickly and then greeted Ember, as she bounded into the kitchen excitedly.

  “There is a garment bag hanging in the back of our closet. You are not allowed to open it.” Ember leaned in and kissed her on the cheek. “These two didn’t spill any details about it, did they?”

  “We didn’t even confirm that you’d bought the dress,” Hailey said.

  “Well done.” Ember winked at her. “Let’s eat. Eddie’s outside?” she asked as she grabbed two boxes of food to carry them to the living room, where they would sit around the coffee table and have a relaxed dinner.

  “Yeah,” Charlie stated, carried some food items along, and then glanced out the door to see that Eddie’s nose was currently buried in snow. He lifted up a mound and then shook it off before bouncing around again in glee. “I swear, he’s five years old, but he acts like a damn puppy most of the time.”

  Hailey walked up behind her.

  “He’s adorable. I like that he’s like that.”

  “Me too. He entertains himself,” Charlie told her and turned around.

  When she did, Hailey realized how close she was standing to Charlie. She hadn’t done it intentionally. She just wanted to see what Eddie was up to, but Charlie was right in front of her now. She could smell the scent of Charlie’s shampoo. It was juniper berry. Of course, Hailey had no idea what actual juniper berries smelled like, but she’d taken enough showers at Charlie’s to have seen the label on her shampoo. She knew that that was at least what the shampoo company thought juniper berries smelled like. Charlie stared at her, and Hailey saw this new ease to Charlie in those eyes and in her shy smile. She felt her heart pound inside her chest, and she liked the feeling.

  “My dress is currently on hold. Should I pick it up tomorrow?” Eva’s voice broke the moment between them.

  “Yeah, and let these two see it so that they can tell me all about it,” Ember suggested.

  Charlie looked over Hailey’s shoulder to the two women now seated on the couch next to one another.

  “We won’t tell her anything,” Charlie said and walked around Hailey toward the coffee table.

  She sat on the floor, and Hailey let out a deep breath before turning and sitting down next to her.

  ◆◆◆

  Charlie felt Hailey’s eyes on her throughout the entire meal. She’d been so proud of herself earlier, but Hailey, staring at her, was making things more difficult than she thought they’d be. She felt a bit like a zoo animal that was sitting still, minding its own business, and some kid was staring, waiting for her to play with a giant plastic ball or roll over and yawn. Hailey’s eyes kept coming back to her, and she didn’t understand why. The only reason she could think was that Hailey was trying to see if Charlie would be different somehow, or maybe she was just checking on her to make sure she was okay. Either way, it wasn’t making things easy on Charlie, and Charlie needed easy right now.

  “Dresses are done, and the cake has been chosen,” Eva said after they finished eating and the cartons had been disposed of.

  Charlie had let Eddie in from the cold, and he had his head resting on Hailey’s thigh, while she absentmindedly rubbed behind his ear.

  “We have to take a trip to Iowa next weekend to meet our wedding planner, Anna,” Ember said in a light tone about Eva’s sister. “She wants to go over decorations.”

  “If we don’t go, she’ll pick out stuff on her own,” Eva reminded.

  The four of them sat around for another couple of hours, trying to finalize the bridal shower, which neither woman wanted, so they’d skip that; but then the talks of the bachelorette parties started, and several suggestions were tossed out. Eva and Ember both said they were exhausted and that they could pick up the planning in the morning. A little before midnight, they went up to their room, while Hailey and Charlie remained downstairs. Charlie let Eddie out to go to the bathroom. When he came bounding back in, she made the decision to stay the night. She was tired too. She’d had another long week at work and just wanted to fall asleep without having to drive back into the city.

  “Are you staying?” Charlie asked Hailey, who was sitting on the couch.

  “I was thinking about it,” Hailey shared. “You are too, aren’t you?”

  “I was thinking about it,” Charlie echoed with a smile.

  “I can sleep on the couch. Take the guest room with Eddie.”

  “Eddie is probably going to stay with you,” Charlie admitted. “He likes you more than me.”

  Hailey laughed and stood.

  “They have a four-bedroom house with two offices and one spare room. That was great planning,” Hailey said sarcastically.

  “It works for them though,” Charlie reminded her.

  “Take the guest room. It’s colder down here.” Hailey stared at Charlie.

  Charlie gulped and then surprised herself.

  “Hails, you can come up with me,” she stated and then almost took it back, but stood her ground. This was okay. She could do this. Hailey was with Emma. She was dating Lena. They could just share a bed as friends, like they’d done before. And this time, it would be better, because Hailey knew, and Charlie didn’t have to worry about saying or doing something in her sleep to give herself away. “We can share the bed. I’m okay. We’ve done it before.”

  “Are you sure?” Hailey asked and seemed sincerely concerned.

  “Yeah, I’m good.” Charlie nodded as if to assure herself. “Come on.”

  Eddie followed the two of them upstairs. Charlie completed her bathroom routine first so that she could get him situated with his blanket in the corner, while Hailey took her time in the bathroom. By the time Hailey came back into the room, she was wearing a borrowed shirt and pants from Ember. Charlie saw her gulp, before moving to the bed and sliding under the blanket next to Charlie, who was answering a work emai
l on her phone to keep herself distracted. She felt the dip in the mattress and knew Hailey was staring at the ceiling. She placed her phone on the table next to her and turned on her side to face her.

  “What was your favorite Hardy Boys?” Hailey asked to the ceiling.

  “What?” Charlie laughed out. “I don’t remember. I read, like, a bunch of them over twenty years ago.”

  “You do remember.” Hailey rolled to face her. “You and your brother acted them out. Which was your favorite?”

  Charlie thought back to the mini-forts they’d made, and their favorite book-inspired capers, and sighed.

  “What Happened at Midnight. The bad guys were thieves. Diamonds,” she stated. “JJ would hide marbles and pretend they were the diamonds. I was the bad guy, of course. I would try to steal them. He’d stop me, and we’d do it all over again.”

  “What did you want to be when you grew up?” Hailey was smiling at her.

  “What? Hails, where’s this coming from?”

  “We’ve known each other forever, but there’s still so much I don’t know about you. I want to now. Is that okay?” she asked softly.

  “A diamond thief,” Charlie told her with a smirk.

  Hailey pushed at her shoulder, causing Charlie to laugh as she rolled onto her back.

  “I’m serious.” Hailey’s laughter made those words ring false, but Charlie knew they were true.

  “I don’t know, Hails. We didn’t do that stuff.” Charlie was still laughing.

  Hailey moved slightly closer and rested her head on her elbow, looking down at her.

  “What do you mean?”

  “JJ and I, we didn’t grow up like that. It wasn’t about dreams, or plans, or anything. Our parents had no money. We both saw school as the thing we had to do until we grew up and moved out. I wasn’t the little girl that thought about being a teacher or a nurse.”

  “What did you think about then?”

  “Hails, I don’t know,” Charlie said. “I didn’t think about much until we moved here, and then it was different, because there were possibilities here. My dad and JJ were gone, and that was hard, but the city was a lot bigger than Elkhart. I could maybe see myself graduating high school and going to college. Was it different for you?”

  “Yeah, I guess.” Hailey seemed taken aback by the switch. “I always thought I’d go to college. I was working for that for a while before I thought about PR, though. I didn’t think I’d do anything like that in high school. I actually thought about accounting most of my junior and even into my senior year.”

  “Accounting? You?” Charlie seemed surprised and gave a small laugh.

  “Yeah, accounting. What’s so shocking about that? I had great grades in all my math classes in high school, and I had to take a few at Northwestern too. I did alright. I’m no Ember, of course, but I did okay.”

  “Hailey, it’s surprising because you aren’t Ember. You are you.” Charlie turned to face her again. “You’re Hailey Grant, a PR maven, who shouldn’t be hidden behind spreadsheets and calculators. You should be doing what you do because you’re great at it, even when you don’t think you are. I can’t see you as an accountant, just doing taxes for people in some office with barely any light, squinting those eyes at a computer screen. I mean, those eyes should not be squinting at a computer screen,” she said it before she had a chance to think about it.

  She averted her own eyes from Hailey’s now darkened green ones. This was not supposed to happen. She was supposed to fall asleep, wake up tomorrow, plan the wedding some more, and keep everything relaxed and not at all about her still lingering feelings for her best friend.

  “Hey, Charlie?” Hailey gave a soft question.

  “Yeah, I know. I’m so-”

  “I’m scared.” Hailey said it even more softly, which, in combination with the words, caused Charlie’s eyes to reconnect with Hailey’s.

  “Of what, Hails?”

  “I don’t know what to do.” She shook her head. “Never mind. Let’s just-”

  “Hailey, just tell me,” Charlie pushed. “What are you scared of? Me? Do you think I’ll do something?”

  “God, no! I don’t want to be selfish. I think I’m being selfish, and that’s not fair to you.”

  “Selfish? No, Hails, I told you this was okay. I’m okay.”

  “It’s not about that.” She inhaled a deep inhale that Charlie imagined took several minutes. “Last weekend, and a little before that too, I think, I started thinking about things,” she said and then added, “about you.”

  “Me? What about me?”

  “You, Charlie. I’ve been thinking about you. I’ve been feeling things. Then, you told me how you felt, after you found me doing what I was doing. I was so embarrassed, and then so shocked by your words, that I didn’t say anything. You left, and I thought I shouldn’t say anything, because you deserve better than me, Charlie,” Hailey said it all very quickly. “You finally put me behind you, and you have this new person you’re dating. I have Emma, and I didn’t want to tell you because you are, like, years ahead of me. I don’t know that I can ever make up for that or feel everything that you feel, Charlie, and that’s what scares me. It’s not that you have feelings for me. It’s that I have feelings for you, but they’re so new and scary, and you’re already there. You’re there. You know, and I don’t know, and this is wrong. I shouldn’t be telling you this. I hate myself right now, Charlie. Because you’re trying to get over me, and I’m telling you that when I was touching myself last weekend, I was picturing you, and this is not fair to you.”

  Charlie stared at her with her mouth open. Her heart was racing. Her breath was coming in short bursts, and she was beginning to see small stars in her eyes due to the lack of consistent oxygen to her lungs.

  “You were… me?” It wasn’t a complete sentence or even a complete thought, but Charlie could barely focus on the green concerned eyes that were staring back at her.

  “I’m sorry,” Hailey apologized.

  She reached out and placed a gentle hand on Charlie’s cheek. Charlie didn’t know why at first, until she felt Hailey’s thumb under her eye, sliding away, and felt the wetness that came with the tear she’d wiped away for her.

  “Hails…”

  “I’m going to go.” Hailey went to pull back. “I’ve made it worse, and will never forgive myself if this ruins what we have. I’m going home, and I’ll give you whatever you want. If you want time and space, I’m gone. If you want to-”

  “Hailey!” Charlie nearly yelled and pulled Hailey in by her waist, forcing Hailey to remain in the bed. She wanted to kiss her. She wanted more than anything to run her hand under Hailey’s shirt and pull her in ever closer, and taste her lips, and touch her everywhere. She wanted everything with her. “Go out with me?”

  Hailey pulled her face back slightly to check Charlie’s eyes.

  “What?”

  “I should have asked you out when we were nineteen, but I didn’t. I’m asking now. Will you go out with me?”

  “But I just told you I’m not where you are yet. I don’t think I am, at least. I’ve been trying to figure things out. I haven’t been able to yet.”

  “I’m not asking you to marry me, Hailey. I don’t need you to love me. I’ve been trying to be braver lately, and I want us to go on a date.” Her hand slid away from Hailey’s waist.

  “What about Lena?”

  “Lena and I aren’t close to exclusive. Emma?”

  “No, we’re just dating. I don’t know what’s going to happen. That’s why I’ve been so confused.”

  “Do you want to go on a date with me?” Charlie asked. She was certain she had never been more nervous in her life. “An actual date where-”

  “I pick you up,” Hailey interrupted. “And we go to dinner, and maybe a movie?”

  “Yeah.” Charlie smiled at her.

  “And then I take you home.”

  “Yes.”

  “And we stand awkwardly at your door for a min
ute, while I wait for you to maybe invite me in?”

  “I’m not inviting you in,” Charlie returned.

  “You wouldn’t invite me in?” Hailey asked, surprised.

  “No, not on our first date, Hails. If we do this, we’re taking our time.”

  “Okay.” Hailey smiled shyly.

  “Okay?” Charlie checked as her heart skipped about five beats.

  “Yes, I want to go on a date with you,” Hailey confirmed.

  “Then, I should go sleep on the couch,” Charlie said.

  “What?” Hailey laughed.

  “If I’m here, and you’re here, I’m worried we won’t-”

  “Take our time?” Hailey smirked and lifted an eyebrow.

  “Don’t do that.” Charlie pulled back. “That’s your sexy look. Don’t do that.”

  Hailey laughed wildly, “I have a sexy look?”

  “That’s enough.” Charlie stood, causing Eddie to lift his head.

  “Stay in here,” Hailey insisted. “You’ll be cold down there.” Hailey stood.

  “You sure?” Charlie considered what to do for a moment.

  “I like taking care of you. I always have,” Hailey said. “I’ll leave the door open a little for you so you have the light. Good night.” She walked toward the door.

  “Yeah, good night.” Charlie sat on the bed and smiled a goofy smile. She looked at her phone and pressed the home button. It was exactly midnight. “What happened at midnight?” She laughed silently and recalled the title of the book before she climbed back into bed. She heard Eddie whine softly. “Oh, go ahead,” she told him and heard the metal tags on his collar clang together as he nosed his way through the door, following Hailey downstairs.

  CHAPTER 15

  There was absolutely no chance Hailey was sleeping. Eddie, it appeared, had no problem passing out, though, and had been snoring all night. By four in the morning, Hailey had officially given up, after hours of rolling over, and then back, and over again. She’d gotten a snack from the kitchen, tried reading on her phone, which she hated doing and thought it might knock her out, but it didn’t. She knew it was because she was thinking about the woman upstairs. She was going on a date with Charlie. Charlie Adams, who was her best friend. They were going on a date together as two adult women who liked each other. She had no idea how it would go, or what it would mean if it didn’t go well. Maybe that was what they needed. Maybe they just needed to go on a date to know that it wouldn’t work between them. Both of them could move on with someone else and get back to being friends. Of course, the other side of the coin left the possibility that the date would go well, and that would lead to another date. Eddie lifted his head at the sound of Eva moving down the stairs toward the kitchen. Hailey checked her phone and noticed that it was 5:30. Eva came into the living room and saw that Hailey was awake.