Just Tell Her

by Nicole Pyland

  Probably because when Hailey kissed Emma that day, it wasn’t Emma she was kissing. In her mind, it was no one. It could have been anyone. She knew that was wrong. She shouldn’t have done that to Emma. But she’d wanted Charlie, and she’d been too scared to admit how far into that she was. Somehow, it felt different to Hailey, because at least she’d been dating Emma at the time. She’d also known her practically her entire life. Charlie had chosen someone she’d just met, someone young, hot and rich, and she made it to the bed with her before she’d stopped it. Why did she stop it? Hailey wondered to herself and knew she couldn’t supply the answer. She hadn’t given Charlie the chance to explain.

  They were doing it again. They were pushing and pulling at one another, which she really shouldn’t be surprised about. They’d always pushed and pulled at one another. It was one of the reasons their friendship worked so well. They’d challenge one another to be better or to try to reach their full potential. Charlie would take forever to make decisions, while Hailey tended to make them quicker. They’d balance the other out by pulling them just a little toward their side. Now, it appeared that the thing that worked well for them in their friendship was getting in the way of this new part of their relationship. Both of them were pulling away instead of pushing one another together or applying that push/pull balancing act that made them both better people in the end.

  ◆◆◆

  “Are you kidding me?” Ember exclaimed.

  “Em, come on.”

  “Charlie, this is exhausting. You guys are together, and then you’re not. Then, you’re together again, and now you’re not?”

  “We didn’t break up,” Charlie replied.

  “So, it was just a fight? You don’t look like it was just a fight. You look like shit,” she told her.

  Charlie hadn’t slept at all Saturday night. She’d tossed and turned for a while before giving up entirely and just working at her desk until the sun came up. Then, she took a long walk with Eddie around the city, returned home to change and call Ember to see if she could come over and talk to her about what had happened.

  “I didn’t sleep,” Charlie offered.

  “I wonder why. Could it be because you and the love of your life are fighting about something stupid? You’re getting jealous over Emma, when Hailey has made it more than clear that she doesn’t want her. It’s just stupid, Charlie.”

  “I know. I’m trying.”

  “Trying what?” Ember challenged and finished the sandwich.

  She’d made them both lunch and even delivered a plate to Eva’s office, since she was working on her speech for the upcoming conference they’d go to before their honeymoon.

  “Trying not to think about her. Trying to forget the fact that Hailey talked about how amazing she was, over and over again, for a hundred years.”

  “You know what I remember?” Ember took a drink of her iced tea.

  “What?” Charlie dropped her own uneaten sandwich to the plate and leaned back in the chair.

  “I remember all the times Hailey talked about you,” Ember replied.

  “Em…”

  “I’m serious,” Ember offered. “You remember pining away for her while she dated all the wrong women. You remember her talking our ears off about them and mentioning Emma in the mix as a comparison; but I remember more. I’m the objective third party, or I’m at least as objective as I can be, given that I want you two together, and I’ve always thought you should be.”

  “You have?”

  Ember gave her a look that told Charlie that was a stupid question.

  “Charlie, she talked to me about you way more than she did about Emma Colton. She’d tell me about how talented you were at your job, and how she was always blown away when she’d see your sketches or pictures of the finished product. She’d tell me how funny you were, and how you always made her coffee in the morning, or how you let her stay over, and how sometimes you’d put a blanket on her when you thought she was sleeping. She’d talk about how pretty you were and how she didn’t know how you were still single. She’d go on and on about you and how lucky she was to have you in her life. Did you really go over to her apartment and fix the leaky sink when her super said it would be another two days?”

  “That was like five years ago.”

  “And somehow I remember it. You know why? Because Hailey does,” she said. “I think she’s loved you all along. She just didn’t realize it. I’d see it too. I’ve seen it a lot more recently, obviously, but I’ve seen it for years in how she is with you. It’s not how she is with me, and we’re all supposed to be best friends. She touches you, Charlie. She hugs me sometimes, but she touches you. She always has. She’ll put her hand on your back or touch your neck and rub your shoulders. You’re the only one she does that with. You don’t see it because you’ve never felt like you deserve her, but the reality is – you both deserve each other, because you’re right together.”

  Charlie sighed and considered everything Ember had said.

  “What do I do about the Summer thing?”

  “Who is Summer to you, Charlie?”

  “No one,” she answered automatically. “She’s someone I met through work. She was a stupid distraction, and I stopped it before it went anywhere because I love Hailey.”

  “Hails will see that eventually.”

  “Eventually?” Charlie began. “Do I have to wait another ten years before she and I try again?”

  “Why are you waiting at all?” Ember glared at her. “Charlie, you told me all about the amazing first date you guys had that Hailey planned. I know about the night on the farm and how perfect that was because she told me all about it.”

  “She did?”

  “Not the sex stuff, unfortunately,” Ember joked. “She knows you’re private about that. But she also told me that it’s just something for the two of you, and I understand that. Because as much as I joke about how Eva is a morning person when it comes to our bedroom activities, I wouldn’t share those details with anyone, because they belong to us. Hailey knows that too, and she told me about how she gave you the cheesy romantic stuff and that what you had there was perfect. She said perfect, Charlie.”

  “It was perfect.”

  “So, why wait? Charlie, that girl couldn’t be any more obvious about how she feels about you if she wore a damn shirt that said, ‘I’m in love with Charlie Adams. Ask me how amazing she is’.” She leaned back and crossed her arms. “You’ve kept how you felt hidden for so long. Don’t you think it’s time you put on the shirt, so to speak?”

  ◆◆◆

  “I think all my stuff is now at her apartment,” Hailey said to Emma on the phone. “I have pretty much nothing to wear to work tomorrow because I’ve basically been living there.”

  “So, just go over and get it,” Emma replied.

  “I can’t. She’s probably there.”

  “Hailey, you are being ridiculous. Just go get your stuff or maybe just talk to her about this so that you can move on.”

  “She kissed some random girl, Em.”

  “You kissed me.”

  “Yeah, but I was thinking about her while-” Hailey stopped herself. “I’m sorry.”

  “It’s okay. I kind of figured that part out after we broke apart. I kind of guessed it was about her.”

  “Still doesn’t make it okay.”

  “No, it doesn’t, but I am okay, Hailey,” she explained. “And did you even ask her about Summer? Maybe she was thinking about you the same way you were thinking about her.”

  “No, I didn’t. She freaked out about you, and I just got upset again.”

  “I’m not helping. I get it from her side, Hailey. I talked about you to Eli a lot in the beginning. She had a hard time with it when she and I started dating. I can only imagine what it would be like for someone like Charlie to hear you talk about me.”

  “I know, but I’ve told her I love her. I love her. I want everything with her. I think, I always have. Why can’t she get that part?�
��

  “She does, Hails. I’m sure.”

  “Then, why am I talking to you and not her?”

  “That’s a question you shouldn’t be asking me.”

  CHAPTER 27

  “Em, why are we at Charlie’s? I thought we were going to dinner,” Hailey asked as Ember pulled her car up to Charlie’s building.

  “Because you have stuff here you need to grab, according to what you said on the phone, and I have to pick up Eddie.”

  “Why are you picking up Eddie?” Hailey turned to her.

  It was Monday and Ember had picked her up from the office unexpectedly to see if she wanted to go to dinner. Having not heard from Charlie after sending her a text that morning, she’d said yes, because she needed to get her mind off of the whole thing.

  “She went back to Detroit, Hails,” Ember said.

  “Without telling me?” Hailey questioned in a small heartbroken voice.

  “I think it was last minute. I’m sorry. I just thought you could get what you needed without having to run into her. Eva and I are taking care of Eddie for her while she’s gone.”

  “How long?”

  “I don’t know. She said she’d be back before we leave for our trip though.”

  Ember opened the door and got out of the car. Hailey opened the door on auto-pilot, unable to process anything other than the fact that her girlfriend had left town without telling her. Was Charlie even her girlfriend anymore? Was this her cowardly way of ending things between them?

  “Em, I don’t-”

  Ember held her phone to her ear.

  “Hey, it’s my mom.” She pointed at the phone. “Do you want to get started up there? I’ll come up in a minute and help.”

  “Tell your mom I said hi,” she replied half-heartedly.

  Ember nodded and walked a little down the street, while Hailey headed into the building. She went up the elevator and walked down the hall. Just four days before, Charlie had her pressed against the wall right outside of her apartment before pulling her inside, where they made love on the floor of the kitchen, being unable to wait until they made it to the bedroom. She didn’t even get the same feeling of childlike joy when she heard the beep after swiping her keycard and opening the door. As soon as she did, Eddie greeted her with a jump onto his hind legs.

  “Hi, buddy. I missed you.” She patted his head and then noticed something attached to his collar. It appeared to be a rolled-up piece of paper. “What the…” Eddie dropped to the floor but remained sitting in front of her with his tail wagging across the hardwood. She reached down and decided to take a look, pulling at it until it came off. The paper itself was only an inch wide and had a light pink ribbon holding it in its scroll form. Hailey looked around the room and seeing no one, pulled at the ribbon until the paper unfurled in her hand.

  “I love how you push me to make decisions.” The piece of paper said in handwritten text.

  Hailey recognized the handwriting and looked around the room again. Eddie was now uninterested and ran off to his pile of toys on his blanket to play. Hailey then noticed a box on the kitchen counter that had a giant bow on top of it. She walked over to it.

  “Charlie?” she half-yelled, but nothing happened.

  The box had “For Hailey” written on the top. She smiled and then pulled the lid. Inside were possibly a hundred similarly rolled bits of paper, with the ribbon holding them together. On top of the pile was a small card that read:

  “In a recent study from the National Bureau of Economic Research, findings show that people explore friendship as a mechanism which could help explain a causal relationship between marriage and life satisfaction and find that well-being effects of marriage are about twice as large for those whose spouse is also their best friend. This is not a proposal, Hailey Grant, but this is a promise. Inside this box are one-hundred reasons why I love you. I could write one-hundred more. In fact, I did. Look up.”

  Hailey, still smiling, looked up at the counter to see a box of her favorite cereal with yet another bow on top of it. She approached it and saw another card on the side.

  “Open me to find the other hundred reasons and then go into the bathroom.”

  Hailey pulled open the box and saw that it was filled with small scrolls. She felt tears begin to fill her eyes and then headed toward the bathroom. She saw a note on the floor and then looked at the light activated night light she’d bought for Charlie that she’d never used. She read the card to herself, “I don’t need the hall light on anymore. I do feel safe with you, Hails. Go into the bathroom.”

  Hailey held the note and walked into the bathroom. The shower curtain was pulled back, and there was something in the bathtub. First, she noticed a family size bottle of Charlie’s shampoo with a post-it on the front. “Because you always use mine.” Then, she saw the real prize. There were at least twenty paperback books and yet another note. “I tracked down as many as I could. I thought you could read my favorites and I could read your favorites. Go to the bedroom, Hails.”

  Hailey looked down and saw different books from the Hardy Boys series and also some from her favored Babysitter’s Club series. Her heart was racing as she turned in place and then headed down the short hall and turned into the bedroom, where she saw two t-shirts lying on the bed, but no Charlie. One shirt read, “I love Hailey Grant” with a bright red heart, indicating the love, and the other read, “I love Charlie Adams” with the same red heart. There was yet another note that read, “Turn them over.”

  Hailey did as the note instructed. On the back of the shirt that proclaimed her love for Charlie Adams, it read, “Ask me how stupid she is for almost letting me go”, and on the back of the shirt, indicating that Charlie loved her, it read, “Ask me how amazing she is.”

  Hailey’s tears were falling freely from her eyes. She wiped them away and sat the shirts back down to search for another note, but there wasn’t one.

  “You were so good with all those romantic gestures; I thought I should try one myself.”

  Hailey turned to see Charlie standing in the doorway, holding a small bouquet of flowers.

  “Charlie…”

  “The white tulip is supposed to say that I’m sorry.” She walked into the bedroom. “And I am, Hails. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for kissing Summer. I did it because I thought I’d lost you, and it hurt so much. I stopped it because her lips weren’t your lips, her arms weren’t your arms, and I felt nothing for her, Hailey. I’ve never felt for anyone what I feel for you, and I’m sorry that I keep trying to put Emma between us. I’ve done a lot of thinking these past two days, and I get that it’s stupid. Thus, the shirt.” She pointed. “I won’t make that mistake again.” She paused and handed Hailey the flowers. “The red rose is for love, Hails, but it’s for the forever kind of love I feel for you. I’m done running. I’m done pushing you away. I’m done hiding how I feel now, because this is all that I want. You and me. That’s it. It’s all I need. And I will write you a hundred more reasons why I love you and build you a tree house, if you want. I’ll give you a hundred more reasons if that’s-”

  Hailey didn’t let her finish. She pressed her lips to Charlie’s, holding the flowers down at her side and then tossing them onto the bed so she could wrap her arms around Charlie’s neck and pull her closer. Charlie’s mouth was hot and greedy. Hailey felt the familiar tongue reach out for her own, while Charlie’s hands were on her back. She pulled back after a moment and stared into Charlie’s eyes.

  “I love you,” she said.

  “I love you too.” Charlie wiped at the tears on Hailey’s cheeks. “I’m sorry.”

  “Me too,” Hailey replied. “I get the Summer thing. I shouldn’t have gotten upset about it.”

  “Lena told me that you and I were both scared of the same things.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Yeah, we’re both so scared of losing the other person, but we’re also scared to just be together.”

  “I think she’s right.”

  “I’m
still scared, Hails,” Charlie revealed and moved Hailey’s hair behind her ear. “I don’t know what I’d do if I ever lost you, but I’m not letting that fear keep me from being with you like this, because this is it for me.”

  Hailey placed her hand on the back of Charlie’s neck and grazed her fingers lightly across the skin.

  “This is it for me too, baby.” Then, she remembered, “Wait! Em is outside. She drove me here and said you-”

  “She lied.” Charlie laughed. “I put her up to it. She’s probably on her way home already. In fact…” She reached inside her pocket where she had her phone. She pulled it up, pressed the home button. “Yup.” She showed Hailey.

  “Update ASAP!” Ember’s message read.

  Hailey laughed loudly and sniffled a little to encourage her tears to go away.

  “Should we update her?” Charlie asked.

  “She can wait. This can’t.” Hailey tossed Charlie’s phone onto the bed and then pulled her down on top of her, on top of the note, on top of the shirts and pressed their foreheads together. “So, you’d build me a tree house?”

  Charlie laughed and pressed her lips to Hailey’s forehead.

  “That’s what you remember from all that?” She kissed her again. “Yes, if you want.”

  “Nah, build me an actual house instead.”

  “What?” Charlie asked.

  “One day, build me a real house,” Hailey requested. “We can design it together. Well, I’ll tell you what I want, you draw it and include what you want, and then build it for me. It will be our house.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Yeah.”

  “I can do that.” Charlie kissed her lips. “I already know a few things we’ll need.”

  “Like what?” Hailey questioned with a smile and ran her hands up and down Charlie’s back.

  “Well, a keycard front door, of course.” She kissed Hailey’s neck as Hailey laughed wildly. “And at least two extra bedrooms.”