Conor

by Kate Hoffmann

“WHY CAN’T WE go out?” Olivia asked. “The weather is beautiful. And no one has tried to shoot me for days. Why can’t we go for a drive or just take a walk? We could go out for lunch! We’ll drive way out in the country where no one could possibly recognize us. I’d even settle for drive-thru.”

  Conor looked up at her from behind his newspaper. He’d been strangely silent the past few days, distant, as if something weighed heavily on his mind. He’d made a few trips into the city and come back distracted, his face lined with tension, but when Olivia had asked what was wrong, he’d smiled and reassured her that everything was fine. She thought his worry might have to do with the trial and her testimony, that the danger to her wouldn’t end at that. But she didn’t want anything to interfere with the last few days they had together, so Olivia didn’t press with her questions.

  Their nights together hadn’t changed. They’d both conveniently forgotten the promise they’d made and fallen into bed the very next night with as much passion as ever. Conor had been particularly uninhibited, making love to her each night until neither one of them could move, almost as if he were making love to her for the last time. After a night like that, she almost expected him to be gone in the morning. But Conor was always there when she woke, his limbs tangled with hers, his face nestled in the curve of her neck.

  They hadn’t mentioned the future, but Olivia knew with every day that passed they were coming closer to the time when they’d no longer have to be together. She’d expected that the district attorney would want to see her before she testified, but Conor hadn’t mentioned anything about a meeting before the trial. She’d learned to trust him without question.

  “Please,” she begged, “put down your newspaper.”

  “All right,” Conor said. He tossed aside the Boston Globe and levered up from the couch. “We’ll take a drive. I’ll show you my favorite spot in all of Boston.”

  Olivia clapped her hands, then raced to the bedroom to grab her jacket. She didn’t care whether they were taking a risk. She needed to find out what life was like outside the condo. But, more importantly, she needed to find out what Conor was like when he wasn’t standing guard or making love to her. They’d never really been out together and she needed a chance to gauge his feelings once they went back to the real world. Would he still touch her at every opportunity? Would he take her hand or drape an arm around her shoulders? Would he be at ease or would reality shatter the dream world they’d lived in for the past week?

  She hurried out of the bedroom to find Conor waiting at the door. He opened it gallantly, then swept out his arm. “Your carriage awaits,” he teased.

  In truth, Olivia was surprised that he’d agreed to take her out at all. He was normally so vigilant, but maybe even he had started to go a little stir-crazy. When she stepped into the sunshine and the fresh air, she stopped and held her hands out. Then she closed her eyes and twirled around. “I feel like I’ve been released from prison,” she cried. “It’s a glorious day.”

  She ran to the car and Conor opened the door for her. Then he jogged around to the driver’s side. Though the car wasn’t Dylan’s Mustang, it did move. And it was taking them out on an adventure! Olivia didn’t care whether the muffler rumbled or the car shook when it went fast. She was with Conor and they were spending time in the real world. That was as close to heaven as she could imagine.

  Conor drove through Concord, heading toward downtown Boston. Olivia stared out the window, watching the scenery pass by. Although she’d seen the same sights many times, everything looked so much brighter and prettier to her eyes. She hadn’t realized how sheltered she had been, locked away from the hustle and bustle of everyday life.

  “Where are we going?” she asked.

  “You’ll see,” Conor replied with a smile.

  She slid over the wide front seat to sit beside him, then slipped her arm through his and rested her head on his shoulder. “I know I’m going to have a good time, no matter where we go.”

  They rode most of the way in silence, enjoying the drive together. Conor steered the car off the freeway and soon they were winding along Boston’s waterfront near the Fort Point Channel. Conor found a parking spot and they got out of the car and began to walk toward Waterfront Park. Olivia wove her fingers through his and they strolled hand in hand to a grassy spot near the water’s edge.

  “I used to come here when I was a kid,” Conor explained. He sat down on the grass and pulled her down next to him, then smiled crookedly. “Come to think of it, I wasn’t ever really a kid.”

  “You weren’t?”

  Conor shook his head. “Not after my ma left. When my da was out chasing swordfish around the North Atlantic, I’d have to find things to keep my brothers busy during the summer. Dylan and Brendan liked to get into trouble. So we’d take the ‘T’ and come out here and watch the planes all day. And if we had enough money, we’d ride the ferry back and forth to Logan. Sometimes we’d even go inside the airport, although security knew to look out for us.”

  “All by yourself?”

  “I was sixteen and my brothers were used to listening to me. It was cheap entertainment. And it was a favorite trip. If I ever wanted my brothers to do something, all I had to do was promise them a trip out here to watch the planes. Brendan used to love this spot. He’d memorize plane schedules and he’d know where every plane was going. I think that’s what gave him such wanderlust.”

  “You did a good job with them,” Olivia said softly as she squeezed his hand. “They’re all wonderful men. I don’t even know them well, but I know that’s true.”

  “Problem is, I didn’t do such a good job on myself,” he said, his smile turning ironic.

  “That’s not true,” Olivia said.

  Conor shrugged. “I never gave myself much chance to have fun. My brothers say I have to lighten up.”

  “We’ve had fun together,” she said, “when we weren’t getting shot at.”

  “But I never had fun when I was younger. Never went out on a date until I was nineteen. Girls didn’t exactly enjoy five younger brothers tagging along everywhere I went. And I couldn’t trust Dylan or Brendan to take care of the twins and Liam. So I was a stay-at-home brother. I guess that’s why my social skills leave something to be desired.”

  “Well, I think you have other skills that make up for that,” she said as she lay back on the grass.

  Olivia stared up at the sky, a perfect shade of blue. She’d been to Waterfront Park before, but today was different. She was seeing it through Conor’s eyes. As the planes roared overhead, heading out in different directions from Logan, Olivia could almost picture those six lost boys. He’d been a good parent to them, and he’d probably be an even better parent to his own children. She had never thought much about a family of her own. But sitting here next to Conor, she could imagine them with children.

  “Olivia, there’s something I need to tell you.”

  She opened her eyes to find him leaning over her, a serious expression on his face. Reaching out, Olivia placed a finger over his lips. “No,” she murmured. “This day is perfect. I don’t want to spoil it. There’ll be time to talk later. I just want to enjoy the fresh air and the sunshine.” She flopped back on the grass and stared up at the sky. “How could I have been so terrified just a week ago and so incredibly happy today? I just want it to last.”

  “I’m glad,” he said, sitting back.

  She shaded her eyes with her hand to study his face, then rolled over on her stomach. “What’s it going to be like after I testify?” she asked. “Will I still have to worry about Keenan?”

  “No,” Conor said softly. “You won’t have to worry about Keenan ever again.”

  “But what if he gets out and he decides he wants revenge?”

  Conor took her hand and brought it to his lips, then placed a warm kiss on the inside of her wrist. “Then I’ll protect you,” he said.

  His words were so simple and heartfelt that Olivia could almost believe he’d be there. “Wi
ll we see each other after the trial?” she asked.

  Conor shrugged. “You’ll be busy trying to get your business back on track. And you’ll have your friends. You won’t have any time to think about me.”

  “That’s not true,” Olivia said.

  “It is,” Conor replied. “Be honest, Olivia. If I’d walked up to you on the street and asked you out, you would have run in the opposite direction. You’re from a different world, privileged, sophisticated, cultured. I’m just a cop and not a very good one at that.”

  “But that’s not who I am,” she said. “I didn’t grow up on Beacon Hill. I grew up living above a little store-front in North End. My parents were hippies. They bought and sold what they called antiques, but what I’d probably call junk. We were poor, living hand-to-mouth. This me that you think you know is a me that I constructed from scratch. I read magazines to learn how to dress and studied books to understand my clients. I even took speech lessons so I could talk like I had money. I’m a complete fraud.”

  “But you belong in that world now,” he said. “You’ve made a place for yourself with your high-society friends and your expensive antiques.”

  “But I like your world,” she countered. “It’s much more exciting. It makes me feel alive.”

  Conor shook his head. “I’ll make you a deal. When this is over, we’ll go back to our lives, and if you still feel the same way in a month, then we’ll talk.”

  An entire month without Conor was unthinkable. She could barely pass an hour alone without craving the sound of his voice or the warmth of his touch. But Conor had wounds that went deep, wounds that made him distrust women. If he needed them to have time apart to prove her feelings, then that’s what she’d give him. “Promise?” she asked. “Just a month?”

  He nodded.

  “I’ll never regret what we shared,” she said.

  “Neither will I,” Conor replied, dropping a quick kiss on her lips. “Neither will I.”

  THE LADIES had gathered around the table for morning coffee as was their habit but, today, they had invited themselves over to Olivia’s apartment for the morning ritual. Olivia hadn’t had the heart to refuse and, in all truth, she welcomed the company. She needed something-anything-to take her mind off Conor.

  Since their field trip to the airport, things had changed, in some ways for the better, but in many ways for the worse. They’d become closer than ever emotionally, sharing stories from their pasts and spending the waking hours together in quiet conversation. They’d talked about his childhood, his parents, his early years in Ireland. She felt as if she’d been given a window into his soul and it was a rare gift. Conor wasn’t one to let anyone see the real man beneath the indifferent exterior. She’d been allowed in.

  But since that night when they had returned from Waterfront Park, Conor hadn’t shared her bed. Like so many other topics of conversation, Olivia had been afraid to broach the subject with him. Besides, she suspected what he was doing. They only had a few more days together before the trial and he was preparing them both for the inevitable. Once the trial began, there’d be no more reason for them to be together. It was a sensible plan, Olivia thought, though it was hard to fall asleep without Conor exhausting her first with his lovemaking and then keeping her warm with his body. She’d been tempted to go to him, to ask him for one last night together. But she’d done that once and she couldn’t bear to do it again.

  Olivia drew a deep breath. She should have been satisfied with the new direction their relationship had taken-one where emotional intimacy had replaced physical pleasure. But over the past few days, she’d come to love Conor more than ever. And she wanted to express it in both words and actions.

  Instead, Olivia found herself working out her frustrations by cooking. She made elaborate meals for them both. Conor, on the other hand, chose to exercise away his carnal feelings. Every morning, he headed out, only to return an hour later completely exhausted. And after a long shower, he’d run errands to the grocery store and the coin laundry and the gas station. Then, right before lunch, they’d leave for another field trip, an activity that had become a daily routine over the past three days.

  Yesterday, they’d walked the Freedom Trail, something neither one of them had ever done, even though they’d both grown up in Boston. They wound their way through Boston, stopping at the Bunker Hill Monument and Paul Revere’s house and the Old North Church. And the day before that, they’d visited the Museum of Science, then walked along the banks of the Charles until the sun had nearly set.

  She’d managed to forget the upcoming trial, her worries fading into an occasional twinge of apprehension. Olivia wasn’t sure how her life would change once she testified against Keenan and Kevin Ford, only that she couldn’t imagine her future without Conor. She was madly in love with him and, for the first time in her life, she realized that there might be a man who could make her happy forever.

  Olivia had tried to determine when her feelings had become so focused but, in truth, she couldn’t remember a moment when she wasn’t in love with Conor Quinn. They’d known each other just a week, yet she knew more about him than any other man she’d ever loved-or thought she’d loved.

  She knew now that those other men had all been passing moments in her life, marking time until she was destined to meet Conor. Suddenly, her decision to testify made sense, as did all the other crazy things that had happened since she’d first called the police. This had all been part of a cosmic plan so that she could find the man she was supposed to love.

  “My goodness, dear, you look like you’re a million miles away,” Sadie said.

  Olivia blinked, then glanced around the table at the five elderly ladies who’d gathered for coffee and Danish. They were all staring at her. “I-I’m sorry. What were you saying?”

  “Where is that gorgeous husband of yours?” Doris asked.

  “He went out for a run. He likes to get some exercise in the morning. And sometimes in the evening, too. Can I get anyone else coffee?”

  They all shook their heads and she noticed that all their cups were full and their Danish untouched. The five of them-Sadie, Doris, Ruth Ann, Geraldine and Louise-stared at her expectantly. “Go ahead,” Ruth Ann whispered, giving Sadie an elbow. “Ask her.”

  “Ask me?” Olivia murmured, picking up her glass of orange juice. “Ask me what?”

  Sadie smiled brightly. “So tell us, dear, how is the sex?”

  Olivia’s eyes went wide at the same moment her orange juice went down the wrong pipe. She coughed, covering her mouth and looking at the ladies through watery eyes. “Sex?”

  Geraldine leaned forward, staring at Olivia through her bifocals. “Yes, dear. Tell us, is there anything new out there? All of us have been out of the loop, so to speak. And we like to keep up on new…trends.”

  “And it’s obvious you’re doing something right,” Ruth Ann said. “That man of yours always looks so satisfied.” She reached over and patted Olivia’s hand. “Don’t be embarrassed, dear. Sex is a regular topic of conversation with us.”

  Olivia forced a smile, a warm blush rising on her cheeks. “Ladies, I really don’t think-”

  “Maybe if I picked up a few new tricks,” Louise said, “my George wouldn’t always be making eyes at that hussy, Eleanor Harrington. Ever since her husband died, she’s been on the prowl.”

  The other ladies nodded their heads in sympathy. “With the ratio of women to men at Waterbrook, it’s a dog-eat-dog world,” Sadie said. “I have to keep my Harold under lock and key for fear that one of those widows might charm him away.”

  “So how is it you keep your man happy?” Doris asked. “Do you cook him special foods? I hear oysters are supposed to make a man very randy.”

  Olivia swallowed hard. “Randy?”

  “Oh, Doris, I’ve tried oysters and Harold just got gas,” Sadie said. “I think there must be some new techniques. I see the books at the bookstore, although I’d never be caught dead taking one to the checkout counter. How
to Drive Your Man Wild in Bed. It’s one thing to discuss it over coffee, but can you believe someone would write about that?”

  “I wonder if they’d have that one at the library,” Louise asked.

  The door to the condo opened and Conor strode in, dressed in sweatpants and running shoes, his damp T-shirt tossed over his shoulder. He’d left before the ladies had arrived and Olivia hadn’t bothered to tell him about her plans for entertaining, certain he’d disapprove. “Hi, darling!” she cried, jumping up from her spot at the table.

  Conor glanced between her and the ladies, who were staring at him with undisguised appreciation. He gave them all a quick glance, then planted a clumsy kiss on Olivia’s lips, surprising them both.

  The ladies giggled amongst themselves and Conor smiled at them all. “Good morning, ladies. How are you today?” They giggled again, like a bunch of shy schoolgirls. He gave them an odd look, then turned to Olivia. “Could I speak to you in the bedroom?”

  Olivia followed him down the hall, then closed the door behind her. All of his things were scattered around her bedroom, tossed inside before the ladies had arrived. “I’m sorry, I know you don’t want me talking to the neighbors, but-”

  “No,” Conor said, staring at the piles of clothes. He spied his jeans, then picked them up and rummaged through the pockets. “Where are my keys?”

  “No?”

  He picked through a pile of clothes until he found yesterday’s flannel shirt. Then he checked that pocket. “No,” he repeated. “I don’t mind. Do you know where my keys are?”

  Olivia stepped over to the dresser and grabbed the keys, then held them out to him. “They were in your shoe underneath the coffee table. I-I had to clean up before the ladies arrived.”

  Conor glanced up distractedly. “I have to go,” he said. “Are you going to be all right here alone?”

  “I thought we were going to go out to-”

  “No, we can’t. I’ve got business to take care of down at the station house. I’m going to run home first and shower and change. I’ll probably be gone most of the day.”