Mofongo

by Cecilia Samartin

  As they drove to the hospital, Sebastian realized that he was anticipating seeing this strange old lady almost as much as seeing his grandmother.

  Sebastian’s family was heading down the corridor toward Lola’s hospital room, when they saw a gurney with what appeared to be a body covered by a white sheet being wheeled out of her room. It might’ve been nothing more than a pile of bedding, but from such a distance it was difficult to know for sure and they all stopped, fearing the worst. Seconds later Susan emerged from the room in a daze, not sure which way to turn or what to do, and everyone rushed to her side. “I need to find a doctor or a nurse,” she said when she saw them. Her voice was shaky, and her hands were trembling.

  “What happened?” Dean asked.

  “We were just standing there, watching her breathe,” Susan said. “She looked just like she did the other day. We…we didn’t expect it would happen so fast.”

  Gloria was trying her best to remain composed and not break down as she turned to her children. “Your grandmother is in heaven now, and we have to be grateful that she didn’t suffer.”

  Susan stared at Gloria for a moment. “You’re mother didn’t die,” she said. “She opened her eyes just now. She’s awake.”

  “Abuela!” Sebastian cried, and he rushed ahead of them into her room.

  Lola’s eyes were indeed open, and she was staring up at the ceiling, looking neither left nor right. Her lids were opening and closing like the delicate wings of a butterfly that had just emerged from its cocoon. The gentle rise and fall of her chest was in sync with the movement of her eyelids.

  After confirming that his grandmother was awake, Sebastian turned to find the other bed empty, and he realized that it was the black haired old lady’s body they’d seen on the gurney. He felt a wave of wonder and grief come over him as he remembered their strange conversation the day before. Now that the black haired old lady was no longer dancing with death, what was she doing? Was she happy to finally be free of her bad heart? Was she able to get out of her bed and dance with life for a change? And this thought sent a shiver up his spine.

  “She just keeps staring up,” Cindy whispered. “It’s so weird.”

  Uncle Mando was at the foot of the bed looking baffled as he gazed down at his mother, and everyone stood around the bed looking much the same. They were afraid to disturb her or do anything that might cause her to close her eyes and fall asleep again.

  “Do you think Abuela Lola’s really awake?” Jennifer asked her father. She was referring to the deadpan expression on her grandmother’s face. Her eyes were open, but they were empty.

  “I’m not sure honey,” he whispered back.

  Mando suddenly snapped to attention. “I’ll go see what’s taking Susan so long,” he announced, and he strode out of the room toward the nurse’s station.

  Everyone stepped in closer to get a better look when Gabi burst into the room. “Mando just told me the wonderful news,” she cried, and she pushed everyone aside. “Ma, Ma,” she cried, grasping her mother’s hand. “Can you hear me?”

  Lola slowly turned to face Gabi, the same blank expression clouding her eyes. “Yes you can. You can hear me just fine,” Gabi said, tears streaming down her face, and then she turned to the others. “She can hear us and see us now. She’s going to be fine. She’s going to be just fine.”

  Gloria elevated Lola’s bed slightly so that she was no longer lying flat on her back. Cindy combed her soft white hair as Gabi wiped her face and eyes with a moistened towel. Every little touch and movement revived her more and more, so that the blank void behind her eyes began to absorb the energy around her, like a black and white photograph gradually infusing with color. Even so, Sebastian still didn’t recognize her. It was her face, her nose, her mouth, and even her wrinkles were beginning to look familiar. But the sweetness in her eyes, the arch of her brows, the turn of her mouth and her slightly tremulous chin were not the same. The essence behind her face was different. So much so, that he was afraid to touch her as the others were doing.

  Mando and Susan swept back into the room with the doctor at their heels. It was the same young man who’d been there the day before, and he was pulling frantically at the stethoscope slung around his neck as he prepared for action. He took hold of Lola’s wrist, and then surveyed the various monitors flanking her bedside. They beeped and whined and blinked incessantly, but their strange and constant music hadn’t changed. He produced a small flashlight from his pocket and began to pass a beam of light across Lola’s eyes. Everyone was waiting eagerly to hear what he would say, although he appeared reluctant to speak and make any premature proclamations. The only one who seemed to be perfectly at ease with the whole situation was Lola who by then was looking about at everyone standing around her, and studying each face with care and deliberation.

  And when her eyes rested on Sebastian’s face, her expression softened and she lifted her hand and held it out to him. “Abuela,” Sebastian whispered and he took her hand. He wanted to say something more, but wasn’t sure what to say. And then he thought about how long it had been since they’d sat around her kitchen table to share a meal. “You must be hungry, Abuela. Are you…are you hungry?”

  The creases around her mouth shifted as she smiled weakly and nodded.

  “Can we get her some food?” Gabi asked the doctor.

  “I’m afraid not. She needs to be evaluated by the occupational therapist first. We need to be sure that she hasn’t lost the swallowing reflex or else she might choke.”

  “Not even a small cup of jello?” Gabi complained.

  “Gabi please,” Gloria muttered.

  Gabi scowled, but everyone’s attention was focused on the doctor who was now listening to Lola’s heart and lungs with his stethoscope. He seemed quite satisfied with what he heard, and was scribbling his notes on the chart that hung from the railing at the foot of the bed.

  Meanwhile, Sebastian hadn’t let go of his grandmother’s hand. He imagined a life force flowing between them so that the longer he held it, the stronger she would be. Perhaps after an hour or so, she’d be able to get out of bed, get dressed and go home.

  As though to affirm Sebastian’s hopeful expectations, she coughed lightly, and said, “I want to go home.”

  “Good Lord, she talked,” Gloria exclaimed, pushing Gabi out of the way to get nearer.

  Lola looked directly into her oldest daughter’s eyes and said again, “I want to go home.”

  “I know you do, Ma, but you can’t go home right now.”

  Mando stepped in, and crouched down low so that he was at eye level with her. “Ma, it’s me, Mando.”

  She shifted her gaze to meet his face, and her eyes registered recognition, but she said nothing.

  “Listen Ma,” he said, placing his hand gently over hers. “You can’t go home right now. The doctors still have to check out a few things to make sure you’re okay. We need to take it one step at a time.”

  “One step at a time?” she repeated, tilting her head to one side.

  “Yes, and once the doctors give us the ‘all clear’, we can talk about going home or…or going somewhere else,” Mando said, speaking tenderly as though to a small child.

  Lola’s expression hardened. “The doctors are not in charge of me,” she snapped.

  Everyone was shocked. It wasn’t like Lola to question him, and what’s more, she’d always revered her physicians and was careful to follow their directions to the letter.

  “We only want what’s good for you,” Gabi said, leaning in.

  “Of course we do,” Gloria added.

  The doctor closed the chart and smiled sweetly. “Listen to your children…” he glanced at the name on the outside of the chart, “…Dolores. They love you and they’ll help you make the best decision for your own good.”

  Lola glowered at him. “What do you know? You only just met them.”

  The doctor’s eyes widened, although it seemed that he was accustomed to dealing with cantankero
us patients, so he shrugged and resumed scribbling in the chart.

  “Ma, how could you say such a thing?” Gloria asked.

  “Because it’s the truth,” Lola said, and then she turned to Sebastian again. “I’m thirsty.”

  He immediately went to her nightstand, and began to pour out a glass of water from the pitcher.

  This time the doctor spoke without looking up from his notes. “She’s getting plenty of fluids intravenously and she shouldn’t drink anything until her swallowing reflex has been properly assessed. The therapist should be by today or tomorrow.”

  “Did you hear that Ma?” Gloria asked. “You shouldn’t drink anything until you’ve been properly assessed.”

  Sebastian held the glass of water, unsure of what to do.

  “Give me the water,” Lola commanded and he extended the glass to her. She was about to take it when Mando snatched it away.

  “If the doctor says you have to wait until your swallowing reflex has been properly assessed, then that’s what you have to do,” he said firmly, and he proceeded to pour the water back into the pitcher.

  Then to everyone’s shock and amazement, Lola reached across to her nightstand, took up the pitcher and drank deeply from it. A thin stream of water escaped from the corners of her mouth and dribbled down her neck.

  The doctor had stopped scribbling in his chart and was staring at her as well. He’d never seen a patient who’d been in a coma for three days move with such strength and deliberation. “Looks like her swallowing reflex is just fine,” he muttered.

  When she’d had enough, she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, and turned to look each one of her family members in the eye. “I want to go home,” she said. “And I want to go home now.”

  After begrudgingly accepting help from a nurse’s aid, Lola agreed to shower while her family waited in the lounge down the hall. Meanwhile, the doctor went to confer with his colleagues about his patient’s spontaneous recovery. He said he’d never seen anything like this before, and he wanted to run more tests. Everyone agreed it was important to know what was happening no matter how well Lola seemed to be doing at the moment. If this required her to spend a few extra days at the hospital, then so be it.

  “It’s like someone else put on her skin, and is masquerading as Ma, but it’s not Ma,” Gabi said.

  “We have to remember that she’s been unconscious for several days. She’s probably still disoriented,” Mando returned, sounding reasonable and calm as always.

  “In the meantime,” Gloria said, “we have to find a way to keep her here, but I don’t know if we can.”

  “Of course we can,” Mando said. “She’s always listened to us, and I’m sure that after her shower, she’ll feel refreshed and much more like herself.”

  “I wish Pops were still alive,” Gabi said, her eyes filling with tears. “He had a way with Ma, especially when she was upset.”

  “Try and stay focused, Gabi,” Mando said in a patronizing tone. “We all need to keep our heads on straight right now.”

  Susan stepped in next to her husband. “I don’t know what the rest of you think, but Lola reminds me a bit of how she used to be before the fire, before everything changed.”

  Gloria and Gabi traded looks, and then Gloria shook her head vigorously, practically sneering at her sister in law. “You’re wrong. Ma was never like this. She’d cut off her right arm before she’d be rude to a doctor.”

  “Well then what do you think is going on?” Susan asked with a toss of her head.

  Gloria glared at Susan for a long lingering moment, then she dismissed her entirely, and turned to address the others. “I believe this could be signaling a bigger problem, like Alzheimer’s or dementia.”

  “Or it could be an altered state of some kind,” Gabi said. “I was watching a program on TV last week where this woman had a complete personality change, and they discovered that wandering spirits had taken possession of her …”

  “You can’t be serious,” Mando said, chuckling derisively. “Are you trying to tell us that Ma’s possessed? Should we start arranging for an exorcism? Or maybe we can forget about the priests and perform the ritual cleansing ourselves like they do on the island. I’m sure Ma will be completely cured after that.”

  Gabi narrowed her eyes at her brother. She knew that her siblings considered her to be immature and silly sometimes, and she usually tolerated their condescending manner, but sometimes they went too far. “A ritual cleansing might not be such a bad idea,” Gabi said to her brother. “But I don’t think it’s Ma who needs it.”

  Sebastian sat a few feet away near his sister and cousin. Although he was still worried about his grandmother, he didn’t understand what all the fuss was about. Yes, she was different than she was before the stroke, but she was awake and walking and talking, and he had no doubt that before the sun went down she would be back in her own little house at Bungalow Haven, and the predictable tranquility there would heal her as nothing else could. And as Sebastian thought about this, he allowed his feet to swing freely beneath him.

  “Why do you think your grandmother’s behaving this way, Sebastian?” Gabi asked suddenly turning to him.

  His feet grew still when he saw everyone staring down at him. Even his sister and cousin were leaning over to hear what he would say.

  “I don’t think it’s fair to ask a little boy a question like that,” Mando said.

  “Why not?” Gabi replied. “Sebastian may be the youngest person here, but he spends more time with Ma than any of us put together, and I’d like to hear what he has to say.”

  “You don’t have to answer,” Gloria said when she saw how uncomfortable her son looked.

  “But maybe he wants to…” Dean said, touching her elbow, and she shifted away from him.

  Sebastian slid off of his chair so that he could stand with both feet firmly on the ground. “I think…I think Abuela is acting like this because…” he swallowed and tried not to look at all those eyes staring at him at once.

  “Because…?” Gabi coaxed gently.

  He glanced up at her, and then away not sure if he should say what was on his mind.

  “Whenever you’re ready,” Jennifer said impatiently, her cell phone set aside for the moment.

  Sebastian felt his heart thumping in his chest, and he leaned back on the edge of the chair to steady himself. “I think Abuela’s acting like this because she’s…. because she’s…”

  “Because she’s what?” Jennifer asked.

  “Because she’s hungry,” Sebastian said. “She hasn’t eaten for three whole days.” Everyone stared at him lost for words. Jennifer shook her head and returned to her phone.

  Moments later, the nurse’s aid who’d been helping Lola bathe appeared in the doorway of the waiting room. “Someone better come with me,” she said, and for the second time that day the family rushed down the corridor toward Lola’s room. It seemed to Sebastian that he’d run more in that one day than he had all the other days of his life combined, and he was starting to feel exhausted because of it. But he couldn’t slow down now because he feared that his grandmother might’ve had another stroke and that he’d find her lying on the floor again. When they entered her room, they encountered something quite different. Lola was sitting primly in her chair freshly bathed and fully dressed. The other nurse standing over her sighed with relief when she saw the family enter.

  “I’ve been trying to tell your mother that it’s very important she stay at the hospital for some additional tests, but it looks like she has her mind set on going home.”

  Gloria knelt before her. “Listen to me Ma,” she said her voice firm. “It’s very important that you follow doctor’s orders right now. We’ll talk about going home later.”

  “You can come to my house afterward if you like,” Gabi added. “I’ll just reschedule my appointments.”

  “I’m going home,” Lola said calmly, resolutely.

  Mando stepped in, his jaw set. “I’m sorry t
o tell you this Ma, but you’re not going anywhere. You’re staying here and you’re cooperating with the doctors and nurses until they’re finished with what they have to do. And then, when we’re certain you’re well enough, we can talk about the next best step, whether it’s going home or somewhere else.” His face broke out in an affable if patronizing smile. “And what’s more, I don’t want any more arguments. I want you to behave for the nice nurses and doctors who’re taking such good care of you.”

  While Mando spoke, Lola gazed up at her son, her expression revealing nothing. When he was finished, she stood up slowly, refusing the nurse’s assistance. She took a step or two towards him, and then without warning, her right hand shot out and she slapped him hard across the face.

  “How dare you talk to me that way?” she asked. “I carried you in my womb for nine long and difficult months. I gave you life, I fed you and clothed you, I sacrificed what I didn’t have to give you an education, and now you have the nerve to talk to me like I’m a stupid child. You should be ashamed of yourself.”

  Mando’s hand floated up to his reddening cheek and he stared at his mother as though the small silver-haired woman standing before him were a total stranger. But this wasn’t the first time he’d felt such a sting. When he was a boy, Lola had often shown him a strong hand whenever he dared use bad language or contradict her too boldly. At that moment, he felt as though he’d been slapped back forty years.

  Lola walked past her son toward the door, her head held high, and her shoulders back, nearly swaggering. “I’m going home.”

  “Maybe we should drive her,” Dean muttered under his breath, thinking she couldn’t hear him.

  “Don’t bother. I’ll take a cab,” she replied, and she proceeded down the hall alone.

  Gabi called after her. “No wait, I’ll drive you Ma,” and she followed Lola down the hall.

  Sebastian tried to follow them too, but his mother held him back as she turned to the nurse. “Isn’t there anything you can do?”

  “I’m afraid not,” she replied. “Your mother’s well within her rights to refuse treatment. We can’t hold her against her will unless she proves to be a danger to herself or others.”