by Mia Archer
I was such a fraud. About how I felt about Sarah. About my past experience. I was no better than those people we were making fun of outside the natatorium. Everyone was trying to be someone new when they got to college, and I was no different.
“I don’t really have much experience with this sort of thing,” Sarah said. “If you do you’re going to have to take point tonight. This is all pretty new to me. I didn’t get out much. I was always so busy with swimming and all…”
I blushed again. Here Sarah was being completely honest about everything. Well, almost everything. There was still all that hand holding to contend with. It seemed like neither one of us was really willing to address what that really meant. It felt pretty good to me though, so I wasn’t going to say anything that might bring an end to the fun.
All that hand holding. Was that just a friendly thing or did it mean more? I mean sure I’d never held hands with any of my friends like that, but I’d also never had a friend quite as close as Sarah. It was kind of surprising and just a little scary how quickly we’d become so close over the past couple of months chatting and the past couple of weeks spent together here on campus.
And there was how she’d reacted to that guy acting interested in me earlier in the day. That seemed pretty jealous. Was she jealous? I shivered and felt a tingle run along my skin at the thought. What did that mean that I liked the idea of her getting jealous when a guy was hitting on me?
“Do you think there will be many cute guys out there tonight?” I asked.
Heck, if I was going to wonder then I might as well go for the gold and hit this head on. I glanced over to her. I was very curious to see how she’d react to that question.
What a reaction! She dropped her eyeliner and had to scramble to catch it before it went down a drain that didn’t have a stopper in it. Yeah, whoever put this dorm together had missed a few spots.
“Cute guys? I mean I suppose there are a few cute guys on the team, right?” she said. “Why? Are you interested in any of them or anything?”
“I don’t know,” I said. “Should I be interested in any of them? I mean it’s not like I have any other options, right?”
Okay so I was deliberately pushing her buttons now. I had a pretty good idea of how she felt, but I wanted her to admit it. I was terrified of being the first one to admit anything. What if I did and it turned out I’d been totally wrong?
I needed to play it safe with something this important. I kept thinking about a couple of girls who came out at my school and created a minor scandal. I never thought of myself like that, and it’s not like I was in that town anymore, but the zap that put on my head was still very much with me.
“I don’t know,” Sarah said. “Maybe we should hit the party and see what happens?”
Damn it. She was being just as coy as me. Well if she wasn’t going to say anything then I wasn’t going to say anything. I suddenly felt more irritable than before. I snapped a compact shut and started throwing thing into a bag.
“Fine. In that case we should get to this party and see what’s on offer. I’m sure Todd will be very happy to see me.”
I was irritated because she wasn’t saying anything. I was irritated because I was too much of a scaredy cat to say anything. I was irritated because even though I was supposed to be excited about going to my first college party the only thing I really wanted to do was stay in at the dorms and spend time with Sarah but that wasn’t going to happen.
Mostly I was irritated that I was taking this all out on Sarah. That wasn’t fair, but it was happening. I finished shoving things into my bag and tried to fix her with a smile. I didn’t do a great job though. She had a funny look on her face too. As though she was hiding something behind her smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes.
“Yeah, let’s go,” she said. “Wouldn’t want you to miss your chance with the hot swimmer guy, would we?”
That pissed me off so much that I didn’t say anything on the walk over to the house. Sarah didn’t talk either. She just stared down at her phone doing the navigating. That was fine with me. I was pissed that she was acting like this. I was a little pissed that I was acting like this. I was really pissed that everything had been going so well between us for the past couple of weeks and now it was all going to hell in the blink of an eye.
Damn it.
We reached the house and it seemed like your usual party place where a bunch of guys would live. At least based on what I knew from the movies. Again, my knowledge of college was pretty much based entirely on what I saw on TV. We were about to get a trial by fire.
“Something seem wrong about this place to you?” Sarah asked.
I cast an irritated glance towards her. It wasn’t fair to be irritated with her, but I was so annoyed from our sort-of argument earlier that I almost didn’t want to say anything to her.
I looked at the house. There were guys going in and out with drinks in hand. There were a few girls standing on the front porch giggling and they all looked like they were having a pretty good time. I didn’t see anything out of the ordinary. I didn’t really know what I was looking for either.
“What’s wrong? It looks like a house where people are having a party,” I said. “I don’t see what the big deal is.”
More irritation. Sarah’s eyes narrowed at that. “Look at those girls.”
I looked again. I still didn’t see what the big deal was. “So there are girls at a party? So what? I thought the whole point of these things was to get drunk and hook up with people?”
Sarah sighed and let out a low growl. Now that was interesting. Finally I was getting a rise out of her. Nice to know I could inspire some emotion in her even if it wasn’t exactly the emotion I wanted to inspire.
“None of those girls are from the team. That’s the problem. I don’t see a single face I recognize there,” I said.
“Maybe they’re all inside?” I asked. “I still don’t see what the big deal is. So there aren’t many girls from the team.”
“So that means the guy lied to us about something. If he lied to us about this being a swim team party then what else might he lie to us about?”
I let out a growl of my own and rolled my eyes. “You just don’t want me going in there and having a good time with Todd. Could you just admit that?”
I turned and stared at her. A blush crossed her face. It was pretty obvious even in the darkness. Her mouth worked but she was having trouble getting anything out. Finally she scowled.
“Why would I care if you had anything to do with Todd?”
“I don’t know. Why should you care if I had anything to do with Todd?” I asked. “You tell me.”
This was it. This was her chance. I was giving her the perfect opportunity to just admit something. Admit how she felt. Admit that she thought there was something between us. I wanted her to come out and say that she didn’t want me going to this party. That she didn’t want me near Todd.
It occurred to me that I could just say those things as well. I could end all of this with a few words. I could tell her the strange wonderful feelings that had been confusing me ever since I met her, but I was angry. People do stupid stuff when they’re angry.
I was being pretty stupid right now. I could recognize it, but I was so mad that I wasn’t going to do anything about it.
Sarah sniffed. “Fine. We’ll go in there, but I’m telling you now this is all going to end in tears.”
“Fine,” I said. I wheeled around and walked up the front walk, not bothering to turn and see if Sarah was following me. I knew she’d be back there following. She was upset about the idea of me getting with this guy, and she wasn’t going to leave me alone with him if she thought something was going on here.
The thought made me feel good even as it made me feel guilty.
I stepped through the door and Todd was right there smiling with a drink in hand. I’d never really drank before, but I took the cup he offered without hesitation and took a drink. I also had to concentra
te really hard on not spitting the stuff out all over him.
Damn. No one ever told me how disgusting beer tasted! It was all fizzy and disgusting.
“Glad you could make it,” Todd said, seemingly oblivious to the funny faces I was making as I tried to choke down the beer he’d offered. Damn that was disgusting.
“Yeah, well I wouldn’t want to miss my first ever real college party,” I said.
Todd’s eyebrows rose at that. “Your first ever, huh? Well I’m glad to be the one who popped your cherry!”
There was something about the look on his face that made me very uncomfortable. Not to mention that what he’d just said was totally inappropriate and very disgusting considering we’d just met. What kind of girl did he think I was?
Sarah appeared behind me and Todd’s smile faltered for a moment.
“Good to see you too,” he said. “Want a drink?”
“No, I’m good,” she said, her voice icy. She turned to me. “Are you sure you should be drinking that? Didn’t coach say something about alcohol being pretty bad for you?”
Todd laughed and waved a hand. “Are you kidding? Everybody gets that speech when they start on the team and everyone’s ignoring it by the second week of summer! I’m surprised the two of you lasted this long!”
He put an arm around me and pulled me deeper into the party where music pumped all around us and there was a sea of bodies coming together as people talked and laughed and seemed like they were having a good time. I shrugged and figured when in Rome. I’d come here to have a good time, after all, and if everyone else did it why not?
I took another drink. I was already feeling lightheaded. I wasn’t sure if that was because of the booze or because I thought I should feel lightheaded. Either way it felt good. Weird, but good.
“Alyssa, where are you going?” Sarah asked.
I wheeled around. Maybe it was the alcohol doing some of the talking, but the anger I’d felt all evening finally came spilling out.
“I don’t know. Where am I going? Do you have something to say that would stop me? Because if you do now would be a hell of a time for you to grow a pair,” I snapped.
The look on Sarah’s face broke my heart and I knew I’d gone too far. It was as though she’d been destroyed by my words, and I couldn’t believe I said that even as they left my lips. I wanted to apologize as she stood there looking like she was on the verge of tears, but before I could say anything Todd chuckled and pulled me deeper into the party.
I let him lead me away. I needed to be away from Sarah. As much because of the shame over what I’d done to her as because I was angry with her. That heat was starting to fade and be replaced by guilt, and I didn’t like it one bit.
The guilt was too much. I needed to go back. I tried to pull away from Todd, but he had a strong grip on my shoulders.
“I need to go back and talk to my friend,” I said.
“No you don’t,” he replied. “What you need is some time with me. Not time with that dyke in training.”
“What did you say about my friend?” I asked. I yanked away from him and this time I did manage to break free. I stared up at him with fury in my face. How dare he talk about Sarah like that!
A little voice whispered that he was talking about me like that when he talked about Sarah like that.
“Come on,” he said. “The way she’s hanging around you. The way she looks at you. The way you were doing that hand holding thing? It’s obvious what’s going on there. The question is are you into that or are you on the straight and narrow?”
He put his arms to either side of my head so it was difficult for me to get away. He leaned in as though he was going to try and kiss me and I put a hand against his chest to hold him back.
“I don’t know what you were expecting, but that’s not happening,” I said.
His face screwed up in pure anger. Dang. I’d heard about this sort of thing happening, my mom had warned me before I came to college, but I never thought it would happen to me. You always think other people become statistics, not you.
“Maybe you just don’t know that you want it,” he said. He leaned in again to kiss me and this time I ducked down between his arms and slipped to the side to try and get away. I tried to control my breathing. I told myself that the situation was still under control even if it didn’t quite feel that way. I could still get out of this.
I moved down the hall and the drink sloshed in my hands. I felt something clasp onto my arm and wheel me around. I was face to face with this jerk again. He stared down at me and he wasn’t quite angry, but he didn’t look like he was happy.
“You don’t run away from me,” he said. His voice stank of stale beer. “I know what girls like you want when you come to parties like this.”
“I came here because you invited me you idiot!” I shouted. I tried to pull my arm away but he held me in a vice grip. “Let me go. You’re hurting me!”
“No way,” he said, leaning down again.
I figured I could take care of distracting him and getting rid of this awkward drink with the same motion. I splashed the beer on his face and he took a step back. When he looked back up at me there was something there that I didn’t like at all. Something that told me I was about to be in a world of trouble. He took a step forward.
“You’re going to pay for that by giving me what I want, sweet thing,” he said.
I didn’t know what to do. I was rooted to the spot. I couldn’t believe this was happening. He took another step closer and a blur stepped in between us and shoved him back against the wall. When the blur came to a rest I blinked.
“Sarah?”
She looked furious. She stood there with her chest heaving and her fist raised like an avenging angel or something. She looked glorious, and she was here to save me.
13: Rescue
Sarah:
I was furious. Sure there was a part of me that thought I should turn around and leave the party. Part of me was screaming that if Alyssa wanted to make the biggest mistake of her life and go having fun with some guy then that was her business and none of mine.
Ultimately, though, jealousy had won out. Jealousy and worry about what might happen if she was left all on her own with that jerk somewhere in this house. Who knew how the night might end? And as I rounded the corner into an out of the way hall it seemed that all of my suspicions had been absolutely right.
The asshole had his hands around Alyssa’s arm and she was trying to pull away. He had a furious look on his face and it didn’t take a genius to figure out that something very dangerous was going on here. He glanced at me but either it didn’t register who I was or he didn’t think I was a threat.
I frowned. Well buddy here was about to learn the hard way that I hit hard when I was pissed off. If he was laying hands on Alyssa then I was good and pissed off. I stepped forward and he didn’t even try to get out of the way as I grabbed him.
He sure as hell let go of Alyssa once I had a good hold on him though! The jerk let out a pained cry as I slammed him against a wall and he blinked a couple of times. I hoped I didn’t hit him against the wall too hard. It was everything he deserved, but the last thing I needed was someone charging me with assault or something. Hopefully it was just that he was drunk.
“What the hell is your problem bitch?” he shouted.
“My problem is you were getting fresh with my friend there and it looks like she wasn’t in a mood for that sort of thing,” I growled. I raised my fist and his eyes went wide. “So do we have a problem here or what?”
I was pumped with adrenaline. Probably a good thing. I wasn’t sure if I could take this guy if all things were equal. Sure I was strong from swimming and lifting, but I didn’t know that I was strong enough to take a guy who probably had the same workout habits that I did.
When he was just a little drunk and I was pumped up on anger and adrenaline, though? It was no fucking contest. This guy was going to be in for a world of hurt if he tried anything on me.<
br />
“God, I’m not going to go after your girlfriend you jealous bitch,” he said.
My fist sort of slipped. Just a little. Enough that it made contact with his nose. Also just a little. Oops.
“Motherfucker!” he shouted as he stepped away. He didn’t have a bloody nose or anything so I couldn’t have hit him that hard. He was clutching at his eye, though. Oh. Maybe I hit him there? I was no good at this whole fighting thing. I had no idea what the heck I was doing. I just knew that my knuckles hurt, but I was pretty sure I didn’t break anything on his end or my end. He was stumbling away, though, so at least I got my point across.
He wasn’t going to be causing any trouble for us for the rest of the night, at least. We were getting the hell out of here. I was pretty sure this wasn’t a swim team party at all. He’d just used that to get us out here and it was pretty fucking obvious why he wanted to get us out here in the first place.
The big jerk.
I moved over to Alyssa and put a hand around her. She flinched when I touched her at first which broke my heart, but I wasn’t putting up with that crap. I was still a touch angry at her for what she’d said and for putting herself in this situation in the first place just to make me mad, but damn it I was going to make sure she got out of here safely. So I pulled her along whether she wanted to or not.
I only had to take a couple of steps before she followed along. Slow at first but then picking up speed.
“Come on Alyssa,” I muttered. “We’re getting you out of here. I don’t want you around that jerk again tonight.”
She didn’t say anything as we stepped out of the house and into the relatively cool night air. That house didn’t have anything in the way of air conditioning, typical student housing, and it was a relief to be out in the open where there was a breeze and not in a stuffy house where the heat of a bunch of people coming together added to the already stifling heat that had gripped campus this summer.