Obviously not his Abigail. His Abigail?
He set his hands on her waist, his fingers clenched, daring him to pull her closer. He took a deep breath and...cleared his throat, untwined her arm from his nape and took a step back. The merriment dancing in her eyes had him wanting to pull her back into his arms. Instead he crossed them over his chest. “You better get that thing to Dara. Although I do not think she will like it one bit.”
Abigail giggled. “Dara? Oh, she is used to it.”
Jesse scratched his beard. “What do you mean?” Did this woman take on wild beasts often? Most likely not. What kind of wild beasts could be found in the palace? An image of a spotted cat forced its way into his thoughts. Athaliah had collected whatever her heart desired.
“Only that she has treated my pets whenever the occasion arose.” Abigail skipped away like a child with a joyous secret. Something he’d seen his sister do a time or two.
He caught up with her in two long strides. It was amazing how he forgot about his own aches when he thought her in danger. He knew, even though she’d asked him to leave her alone, he could not. He had to make sure she was safe, and when he heard her screaming...
She glanced at him. “Thank you.”
A genuine smile lit up her face, making her beauty radiant. The blood in his veins halted. He hoped he had made her happy and not the creature cradled in her arms. The fist-sized knot forming in his chest had him wanting to keep making her happy. He glanced at the furry creature once more. The ball of fur wasn’t what he thought it was. With the waning light it had been hard to discern its features, but it definitely did not have the pointed pink nose of a rodent and its ears were too big.
“The setting sun was... I do not even know how to describe it. All I know is that I don’t want to miss another. Are they like that always?”
“Huh?”
“The sunsets, are they always so breathtaking?”
“Yes. Each evening is something different. Never are they the same. I try to never miss one, even on a cloudy day.”
“It was a gift. Thank you, again.”
He tugged on her arm, halting their steps. He stared down into her eyes. “Abigail, the gift was not from me, but from the Creator of the heavens and the earth. It is the one true God you should thank.”
Her eyes crinkled in mirth. “That I already did, Jesse.”
“What are you saying?” Had he heard her correctly?
“What I witnessed could not have come from anything other than an Almighty Creator, so I thanked your God.”
He released her arm and shoved his fingers through his hair. He winced when he touched the knot on his head. “He can be your God, too, if only you call upon Him.”
“I know.” She winked at him, then turned and skipped into the camp.
She knew? Was there hope between them? Only if she chose to allow Joash to remain king. If she contested his kingship, Jesse could not court her, not even if she was the only woman his heart seemed drawn toward. But he would not try to convince her, no matter how much he wanted to. She must make her own choice without his influence, for only then could he be sure of her integrity.
He scrubbed his palm over his chin. How could he doubt the integrity of a woman who took on a griffon to save a...
“Abigail, wait a moment.”
She stopped and faced him. “Yes, Jesse?”
“Do you realize that is not a rodent?”
She laughed. “Of course it’s not.”
“Then why did you not tell me?”
“If I told you it was a baby lion, would you allow me to bring it into camp?”
“Abigail,” he growled. What was he going to do with her?
“It needs mending, Jesse, or it will die.”
“And what of its mother?”
Abigail cast a glance toward the desert, then back to him. “I do not know, Jesse. All I know is that I cannot bear it to suffer an excruciating death. No more than I could bear the thought of you being tormented by Suph.”
He stared at her as she walked away, the sting of her words penetrating his pride. The woman saw him as nothing but a wounded animal in need of rescue. He released a sigh and hardened his jaw. He hated being perceived a weakling. All through his childhood he had striven to prove himself to his brothers. He’d been the runt. His mother often coddled him, but then one day he outgrew Melchiah and Isa and even Ari, who had been near a head taller than their older brothers. He trained longer, harder, until he beat them at their games. If he hadn’t been outnumbered ten to one, he would have beaten Suph as well and then Abigail would not have seen him as incapable of protecting her. But then he would never have known she existed. That such a humble, beautiful and caring being existed outside of his closest kin amazed him.
Even if he could not court her, if she would not accept his attentions... He pulled his eyebrows together. How long had he hoped that there were women like his mother and sisters-by-marriage. Women like Abigail. Women who cared enough to risk their lives for a wounded animal. Women who walked away from everything to save an enemy. Would she have done the same if she knew the truth of what he’d done?
Chapter Fifteen
“What has you anxious, Jesse?” Isa sat beside him in front of the fire.
“Besides the fact that we sit in the open waiting for our enemy to find us?”
“Melchiah and I have scouted the area. There are no signs of Suph’s men.”
“My thanks for retrieving Ianatos and Bilhah. I know it was not easy.”
Isa dropped his hand onto Jesse’s shoulder. “Listen, little brother, these people have done nothing to be treated as such. It is our father’s will and that of the elders that we treat strangers with kindness.” He dropped his chin. “It is shame I feel that their kindness has been rewarded with prejudice. But all is well now, yes?”
Jesse gave his brother a tentative smile.
“What is it, Jesse?”
Jesse rested his head against his folded hands and stared at his sandals. “When Melchiah was young he was sent to the temple to learn. You were the greatest of all warriors trained by the Philistines.”
Isa laughed. “Yes, until Ari came along.”
Jesse turned his head. “Until Ari came along, and he even excelled over Melchiah in his studies. It is why he was chosen to guard King Joash all this time.”
“And you cared for Ma-maw.”
“Yes.” He had cared for his father’s mother in Jerusalem.
Abigail strolled past them and waved, the cub cradled in her arms.
“Jesse, you must know you surpassed Ari’s greatness in battle. You are not only quicker, and do not tell Ari this, but stronger.”
Jesse rolled his eyes.
“Maybe not at this moment, maybe not tomorrow, but when you are in good health, it is you I want protecting my back. Aye, Ari would do, but I know you’ll not allow an enemy to sneak up on me. Besides, Jesse, our lives are not about our great deeds we’ve accomplished. It’s about how we honor God and love those whom He has placed in our lives. It does not matter if that person is a leper or a lost princess.”
Jesse snapped his head up. “The only feelings I have toward Abigail are ones of gratitude. If not for her I would be carrion for the vultures.”
Isa wrapped his arm around Jesse’s shoulders once again and hugged him. “That may be what you think, little brother, but I see the way your eyes light up when they rest upon her.”
“Even if I did like her, Isa, she does not worship God.”
“Perhaps that is because she does not know how. It is a husband’s duty to lead his family by example. No!” He held up his hand. “You may deny she is part of your family, but she is your friend, and as you watch her, she watches you.”
Jesse glanced over his shoulder and ca
ught her looking at him. She quickly dropped her gaze to the cat lying in her lap and then said something to Bilhah.
“Our father’s children love him greatly because he loves us. He is a paragon, an example for his children. He treats our mother as if she were a queen. He loves her above all else, excepting God. Those who meet our father are charmed by him, because he treats them with respect, whether they believe in God Almighty or not, Jesse. His faith and the way he honors God has drawn men to believe in our Father in heaven, even some of the Philistines we’ve trained with.”
Isa rose from his seat. “I must find my wife and children. Seek your rest this night as we do not know what tomorrow holds.”
The words Isa left unsaid hung in the air above the crackling of the fire. They were not that far from the city gates, but Jesse knew as well as Isa that Suph could be anywhere. Jesse scrubbed his hand over his face.
“Are you tired?”
Abigail sat beside him in the spot Isa had vacated.
“Truth be told, I am more anxious than tired. I wish to be at peace with my enemies.”
“Of course. I have only known about such enemies for a few days and I am weary. I cannot comprehend years of turmoil.”
Jesse nodded toward the cat in her lap, not much bigger than his foot. The cub couldn’t be that old. “How is he?”
“Fat.” Abigail giggled.
“Fortunate for him, else the griffon would have carried him away.”
“Yes. Dara lathered honey where the talons had broken the skin. Now he sports bandages around his waist much like you.” She held the cub in the air and smiled.
“Odd the griffon took a live cub. They tend to hunt for dead things.”
“Why is that?”
“I do not know, but I imagine it is God’s way of ridding the world of death and decay so disease does not spread.”
“Interesting. I never thought about that, but then I never knew such animals preyed on the dead. Bilhah brought me a bird once. Dara helped mend its wing. Bilhah and I thought it would be a good idea to play with it and the palace cats.”
Jesse shivered at the thought of what could have happened to the young girls if they’d tried to save the bird. “I have seen those cats. They would have devoured two little girls.”
Rocking back, Abigail laughed. “Not the large spotted cats my mother kept. They frightened me.”
Jesse glanced at the cub in her lap. “But you are not scared of that one’s mother? She cannot be far.” He did not tell her the mother was most likely dead or had abandoned the cub, else she would not have allowed the cub to be taken. If she’d only been out hunting they would have heard her cries of distress by now, for he was certain the griffon had not carried the cub far from where he found it.
“I am surrounded by capable warriors. Besides,” she said, looking into his eyes, “you will not allow anything to harm me, even a lioness.”
He narrowed his eyes. “You believe me capable?”
Her gaze roamed from his feet, rested on his arms for a moment and then moved to his head. “Are you not?”
His chest expanded. The muscles in his arms twitched. “Of course, I just thought you believed me...weak.”
“Jesse, I’ve seen my mother’s soldiers parading through the palace. I’ve seen Suph exert his cruelty on the servants. When the temple guards stormed the palace I watched out my window. I was frightened, but the temple guards did not kill those who surrendered. The palace guards would not have done such a thing. I’ve heard of them killing servants simply because they did not bring them sustenance in a timely manner.”
“I am sorry you had to witness... You must have been frightened.”
“Yes and no. I wanted freedom. I was not allowed out of my room without consequences. That is how much my mother despised me.”
“I do not understand.”
“Neither do I—it is why I must discover the truth. It is why it is important to me, so I can understand.”
“And what if the truth only brings you more sorrow?”
“Then I will be sorrowed for a time, but at least I will not fear being locked in a box if I leave my chambers.”
Anger surged through his veins. He clenched his fists, rose from his seat and stormed to the edge of the camp.
“Jesse, what is it I said? I did not wish to anger you.”
He spun on her, the cub cradled in her arms. Abigail’s eyes creased with worry. He drew his hand along the side of her jaw, swiping away the lone tear. How could a mother lock her child in the dark? How could she not have loved Abigail, treasured her for the gift she was?
“You do not anger me, Abigail. The treatment your mother bestowed upon you, that is what has angered me. If she were not dead...”
“Do not.” The palm of her hand pressed against his chest, the tunic and bandages a poor barrier for the warmth searing him. His head spun, and not from his wound. It was as if he did not draw enough air into his lungs. And his knees grew weak, not the sort that came right before he passed out. No, this was exhilarating. It was as if he stood on top of a mountain, reaching toward the sky with his hands. As if she felt it, too, she leaned closer, her lashes fluttering closed.
Drawn by the scent of jasmine wafting from her, he dipped his head closer. His heart pounded against his rib cage as he sensed her pulse increase. Air caught between them, daring not to move as their breath mingled. Like an ibex drawn to a cool creek in the heat of the day, Jesse pressed his mouth against hers.
He had wished for this touch between them, this intimacy, but he had not been prepared for the intensity pooling in his gut, curling his toes. It threatened to consume him.
Jesse jerked back and raked shaking fingers through his hair.
“Abigail, I...” He needed to tell her the truth but he could not, and until he did so, he should not, could not, touch his lips to hers again, not until he knew she would forgive him for his sins against her and her mother. He was quite certain that sort of forgiveness would never come. Some things were beyond grace. Such as killing another’s mother, even if she had been beastly. “I am sorry, Abigail. We must return to camp. If all goes well, tomorrow you will have your truth and then you can live in freedom.”
Jesse knew, however, that freedom for her would not come until after Suph was captured. And peace would not come for him until he knew without a doubt Suph would no longer threaten Abigail’s well-being.
* * *
Abigail had never known the touch of a man’s lips to hers. She’d never known a kiss other than the few Jesse had pressed to her hand, not even one to her brow by Shema as she’d done to the twins. Abigail blinked. Why was that? Shema had been like a mother to her, but the boys... “You are right, Jesse. You need your rest if you are to help me get into the city. I will see you on the morrow.”
Jesse raised his hand as if to stop her, but he quickly dropped it back to his side. She wished for him to ask her to stay. Disappointment curled in the pit of her stomach when the words did not come. Sadness settled on her shoulders. However, she would not allow the emotions to rule her. She eyed him. Once again he was a fortress of stone. Unmoving. Impenetrable.
Stiffening her backbone, she walked to the tent she shared with Dara, Bilhah and Micah. She slipped between the folds and handed Micah the purring cub. “See to it he does not tear his bandages.”
“Yes, Abigail.” A grin split across the child’s face and Abigail knew the boy would see to his duty.
She ducked through the opening and looked for Nathan and Jonathan. They sat eating roasted meat, laughing with several of the men. She stood, watching, hesitant to break up the revelry. She twisted her lips, ducked her chin and turned back toward her tent.
“Is all well, Abigail?”
She startled. Looking up, she stared into Jesse’s eyes.
“I
can see you are troubled. Perhaps if you shared it with me.”
She looked back at the twins and then to Jesse. “Yes, of course.”
He led her to the place they’d sat before he’d become angry about her mother, which even now perplexed her, knowing her mother was dead.
“What is it, Abigail?”
She tucked her hands into her lap, twisting her fingers. “I had a nurse when I was younger.”
She glanced at him but he did not say a word, only waited for her to continue.
“I loved her and I know she loved me. She is the only person I knew who did love me, besides Bilhah. One day she disappeared. My father said she left. My mother said it was because—” she hesitated, ducking her head as heat filled her cheeks “—I was not beautiful. I was too ugly to care for and I was cursed.”
Jesse grasped hold of her hand and tucked it between his. “That cannot be true, Abigail. Why, your beauty surpasses even that of your mother.”
She sucked in a breath. “I do not know if I can trust you, Jesse, when you tell such lies.”
His gaze bored into hers. “It is no lie, Abigail. I have seen your mother and, yes, she was beautiful, but you, especially when you smile, are unlike anything I’ve ever seen.”
“My thanks, but that does not change the fact that I believed my mother. I believed Shema left because I was too ugly. The twins left, too. I never saw them again, but I knew they were around. Little things they left here and there that they knew I liked. It wasn’t until yesterday that I discovered my father had Shema killed and I believe it was my doing.”
“You could not have been very old, Abigail.”
“I was seven, old enough to know certain things were not allowed to be spoken of. I just... If I had not asked for another story, Shema would not have told one and my father would not have caught her.”
The Warrior's Vow Page 14