by Vera Quinn
“Explanation?!” I yell back.
“Keep your voice down so we do not wake B up. Now explain yourself. You do know I can have you prosecuted for kidnapping?” Maddie asks with contempt in her voice. I back Maddie up against the wall.
“You might want to lose that attitude. You forget that you kept my daughter from me for two damn years.” I let my anger out. The anger I have kept a very short leash on for a while now. It has been so strong it has nearly choked me at times.
“I did not keep B from you to hurt you. I did it because I was trying to protect B from your lifestyle.” Maddie acts like this should explain everything to me. It doesn’t.
“Darlin’ is that the lie you have been telling yourself for two years? Because that is not how I am seeing it and it is not the way a judge is going to see it.” Maddie reacts like I just hit her, but she recovers quickly.
“I did not keep B from you without thinking it through. I needed to protect our daughter from your enemies.” I knew this was what she was going to hit me with, but I have had more nights thinking about this and it is exactly what determined my answer.
“Did you know about your mom’s life before she returned to your families’ ranch?” I wait for Maddie’s response.
“Mom never lied to us about her club life, but she gave it up and went home and had Micah and myself and raised us away from club life to protect us,” Maddie says it with conviction.
“Did your mom hide the fact from Diamondback that he had two daughters?” Maddie looks at me.
“Not as far as I know. What does that have to do with our situation?” Maddie asks.
“Do you think my life is any more dangerous than Diamondback’s?” Maddie looks confused.
“Of course not. I don’t know a lot about motorcycle club life but from what Callie has told me, our dad lived a hard life. That’s why Mom didn’t want us in the life,” Maddie answers.
“Which brings us to your sister Callie, do you think her life is wrong?” Maddie thinks about it for a minute.
“No, Callie was raised within a motorcycle club and she is one of the most level- headed people I know,” Maddie answers.
“Then why in the hell do you judge my life when your mom was in the life and you don’t seem to have a problem with her spreading her legs for the men in your dad’s club and you shed tears when Diamondback died and agreed to meet him before even though you knew he was a President of a motorcycle club. You don’t judge Callie or Devil for their lifestyle and I can tell you the Feral Steel MC have been in enough illegal activities in the day. Do I need to remind you how Devil first married your sister, but you have no problem staying in their house? Why is my life so much more dangerous that I could not be in my daughter’s life or even know she existed?” The more I say the angrier I get. I step back and try to calm myself.
“They never lost part of their family in an explosion. I was scared. I can’t lose B. She is my life,” Maddie says with her lips trembling. I want to hurt Maddie the way she has hurt me but seeing the tears in her eyes are almost my undoing, but I need to keep going. I have come too far to give in now.
“Maddie, you had B in Callie’s and Devil’s home because someone that was after the Feral Steel MC killed one of Callie’s best friends. An innocent woman who had the unfortunate taste in men to date a Feral Steel MC member and be one of Callie’s best friends. You put our daughter in danger by being associated with Callie and Devil, but my lifestyle is too dangerous? Don’t you think a judge would find that accusation a little ludicrous?” I wait for that to soak in. “Then you take off in the middle of the night and uproot Betsy from the home she knows and the people that love her just to keep her away from me. You have no moral grounds to stand on. I told you I wanted to talk. I told you I would be back and never once did I question her being my daughter because all anyone needs to do is look at her and they have the full picture. Times have changed since the woman gets all the rights to a child. I was deprived of my time with my daughter and I will never get that back.” I finish, and I see Maddie is getting the magnitude of her mistakes.
“You told me that our being together was a mistake and that you didn’t want children. How was I supposed to know you would want anything to do with our daughter?” Maddie has tears running down her cheeks, but I won’t let it sway my determination.
“I don’t deny I thought us being together was a mistake and your actions show me exactly how right I was. Your actions show just how immature that you are and that you only think of yourself when making decisions. I don’t want a child as a life partner. I didn’t want a relationship with anyone. I was still in love with Callie and anyone I had a relationship with at that time would have only been a substitute and that would not have been fair to you or me and that is an adult decision. I was thinking of both of us but when I was talking about having children it was in an abstract scenario. Betsy did not exist and therefore I could not wrap my mind around having a child in my life but since the day I laid my eyes on her I have loved her, and I will have her in my life.” I am firm in the way I say this.
“Alright, just let us go home and we will work out a custody agreement, so B can be in your life and you in hers. There are plenty of parents that share custody, but she is staying with me in Texas.” Maddie has dried her tears and I see she is being honest but that doesn’t work for me.
“No.” Maddie looks surprised and then shocked.
“What do you mean no? You can’t keep us here against my will. We are going home,” Maddie says.
“You are going home but not back to Texas. You are coming with me to Colorado after a quick stop in Vegas.” Maddie is looking at me like I have grown a second head. Oh baby, I know you are not getting the picture, but you will.
“Our home and family are in Texas. I want to go home!” Maddie is raising her voice and I know she is on the verge of losing that temper she tries to keep in check so badly.
“Keep your voice down before you wake Betsy.” I know I am patronizing Maddie and with the look on her face she knows that too. Maddie steps into my space and tries to show me that backbone I know she hides so well.
“Andrew Draven, what the hell are you trying to do? Do not mess with our daughter’s life or you are going to see a side of me you do not want to come out to play. Now I am demanding to go home!” Maddie is seething and stomps her foot. Cute, but getting her nowhere. I step even closer to Maddie and stoop down to get in her face.
“Maddie, clue in darlin’, you are no longer in control. You have been in control far too long and you have done a shit job. Me wanting to be in Betsy’s life every day is not messing with her life. It is me doing what I should have been doing since day one.” Maddie starts to say something, but I interrupt her. “My attorney has papers ready to file showing you as an unfit parent.”
“That’s plain crazy. I love B and I would never do anything to harm her and I would die before I let anyone else harm her. You have lost your freaking mind if you think you can make a case of me being unfit. I don’t even date and my whole life revolves around that little girl.” Maddie is close to tears.
“How do you think a family court judge would look upon a woman sleeping with her sister’s ex and having a one-night stand that produces a daughter?” I let that sink in. “A daughter mind you that you kept hidden from me for two years and then when I find out you take off in the middle of the night? You have dragged Betsy all over the United States avoiding me and my attorneys just so you do not have to share our daughter.”
“I told you I was sorry. I didn’t think you would care if we had a daughter and then I just freaked out and ran.” Maddie tries again. I put my hand up.
“That is not an excuse and you bought illegal papers and identification from a man I wouldn’t want my young daughter around. A man that Kat put you in contact with. You assumed a false identity and I have proof of everything I am saying, or my attorney does. How do you think that is going to look on you? I think that might look a littl
e bad on you darlin’.”
“You wouldn’t!” Maddie shrieks.
“I not only would but I have. The pretense of wanting to keep Betsy safe from my life may go out the window when the judge finds out not only do you have ties to the Feral Steel MC but also the BlackPath MC and the Rebellions 4 Blood MC. You had our daughter at Callie’s for protection.” I lay it all out for her. I see when it all dawns on Maddie that the airtight case she thought she had for full custody is not so simple. “The case could take years to settle and that means dragging our daughter through courts and all our dirty laundry being put out there for everyone to know and when Betsy is old enough she will know everything that I went through just to be her dad.” I am watching Maddie’s face crumble as the thought goes through her head.
“I don’t want that. I have never wanted that,” Maddie says.
“Do you mean that Maddie? Will you do anything to protect Betsy and make her life better?” I step back and give Maddie some space. I have driven my point home and she knows I am serious.
“What do you want from me Dra? I will do what is best for B. Can’t we work this out between us and leave the court out of it? I made mistakes and I will do anything I can to make it up to you, but B does not deserve a life played out in family court.” Maddie has stopped looking at me in my face. Her eyes are on her hands. I know I am intimidating her and if it gets me what I want then it is what I need to use. I know everything I have planned rests on the next thing I tell Maddie.
“We are going to fly to Vegas and get married. You, Betsy, and I are going to be a family. A real family. When we get back to Colorado my attorney will file the paperwork necessary to get my name on Betsy’s birth certificate and you and I will give Betsy the life she deserves with a mom and a dad in the same house. I had that growing up and I want Betsy to have the same thing. Family is everything.” Maddie looks at me and I can’t decide if she is more shocked or if she doesn’t believe what I just said. I have never been more serious about anything in my life.
“You cannot be serious. You don’t even like me. It will be a toxic relationship and we will grow to hate each other. I don’t think that will be a healthy environment for B,” Maddie says looking for a way out of my demands.
“If we both set our minds on making sure the relationship is all about Betsy’s best interests then we can do it. I have full confidence that we can do it. I know I can. Can you Maddie? Can you put Betsy’s best interests first or are you still just thinking about what is good for you?” I see my words have done exactly what they were meant to do. I see the acceptance and I know I have won. I feel like yelling it from the roof tops, but I know this is not a time to gloat. If this is going to work I need to have patience.
“Say I agree to this arrangement, what is next? We get married and go to Colorado, then what? What about your woman, Sunshine? I will not be the little woman sitting at home while you have relationships with other women. You may not love me, but I will not be disrespected so everyone can whisper behind my back and give me those pitying looks. Explain to me how this will work?” Maddie wants to know if I am going to cheat on our wedding vows, but she won’t come out and ask the question.
“I will respect you as Betsy’s mom as much as you respect me as her dad. I do not do relationships. They always go to shit for me. I will make sure nothing lands on your doorstep and always put Betsy’s wellbeing first. The rest we will take one step at a time. We will consummate our marriage so there are no grounds for annulment. You also need to understand I am not forcing you to do this, it is your decision. It’s this or we go to court, but you do have a choice and you will sign papers stating this. My attorney is meeting us in Vegas with all the papers that need to be signed beforehand.” I lay everything out so there are no miscommunications.
“Can I have Micah and Aunt Deb meet us in Vegas?” Maddie asks in a soft voice.
“There’s no time. We need to get what you will need packed and get out of here. My attorney should already be waiting on us. When we get back to Colorado then you can have your family to visit. I’m sure the club will give us a party.” Maddie nods her head in understanding.
“I guess that will be alright but Dra, I do not want Sunshine anywhere near B. As far as that goes, I don’t want any of the club girls or whatever you call them around our daughter. I will not have that atmosphere around my daughter. I have seen how the club women at the Feral Steel clubhouse glare at Callie and I will not stand for it. No one will smoke or do drugs around B either and if you are going to have a gun where we live then it will be in a safe and locked. I will not bend on any of this and if you try to run over me about it, I will turn into the biggest bitch you have ever seen. Do you understand me?” Maddie’s voice is soft, but I can see in her eyes she is serious.
“Our daughter, Maddie. Betsy is our daughter and I would never put our daughter in danger. I’ve already bought a gun safe for our home and Betsy will not be around the clubhouse when there is hard partying going on, only family gatherings. Krill and I will make sure of it, that I can guarantee. The Troubled Fathoms MC is a family and each member will be like an uncle to Betsy and they will take that seriously.” Maddie doesn’t get that when she denied me Betsy she also denied my family. Betsy will be the most loved child inside her Troubled Fathom’s MC family.
“If that is so, then who comes first, the Troubled Fathom MC or Betsy, because I can tell you that B is first and foremost before anything or anyone in my life. That includes my family and they all know it.” Maddie sounds just like Callie now. Women just don’t get it.
“I don’t know why women don’t get it. It’s not a competition between the club and family, because the club is family. They go hand in hand but with the club at my back then Betsy has more people to love and protect her.” I am done with this conversation. “Get together anything you will need for the trip. We’ll be traveling for two days and then we’ll be back home. Only bring necessities. We will buy the rest as we go.”
“Dra, I am trusting you to not have this blow up in my face. I have taken care of B by myself since the day she was born and handing over part of that responsibility is not easy for me. Do not let B down. I deal with what I need to, but I will never settle for second best for B. Do you understand that? I will become your worst nightmare if you let B down.” I look at Maddie and she believes everything she is saying. The thing this woman doesn’t understand is that spending another day without my daughter is the only nightmare I have. I can’t let Maddie think she has the upper hand because she doesn’t.
“Darlin’ don’t make promises you can’t keep. Now get moving.” I know I am being a jerk, but Maddie has not mentioned the fact that I said that we would consummate our marriage and I don’t want her thinking about that little fact until after the ink has dried on our marriage license. I would never force myself on any woman, but the taste of Maddie has been on my tongue since the night we shared together. I know I need to be patient. Maddie has never tried to hide her attraction to me and I know that has not changed. I will use that attraction to get Maddie back in my bed permanently and my child in her belly. I am going to tie that woman to me in every way possible. Betsy needs sisters and brothers and I intend to give them to her and the more the better. I love children and want a house full of children and Maddie will be giving them to me. She just doesn’t know that yet.
Chapter 11
Maddie
We have been in the truck for over an hour and B went back to sleep less than five minutes after we left the farmhouse. The quiet between Dra and myself is stifling. I could almost choke on the tension. I am drowning in guilt from keeping B away from Dra but the thought of living in Dra’s world is consuming me in fear for B. I have been going over the conversation that Dra and I had back at the farmhouse. I can see where he has some good points. I have made some decisions that are questionable, but I never was trying to do it with maliciousness towards Dra. I only wanted to keep B safe. I also see where I have not been fair in tr
usting Devil and Chief to keep B safe, but I didn’t trust Dra to keep his own daughter safe. I just couldn’t see my decisions were wrong at the time. I was living in the moment. It’s hard being a single parent and being scared out of your mind that you are going to make a wrong decision. The one thing that keeps coming to mind is Dra broke my trust when he did an about face the morning after we made love. There I go again, making what happened between us more than it was. Dra made it very plain that what we had was sex and apparently not very good sex since one time was enough for him. To me, it was the best night of my life up to that night. I know it was all a young woman’s dream of a romantic one-night stand that would mean more. I thought once we made love it would heal all of Dra’s wounds that losing Callie had left him with. That it would open Dra’s eyes that I was the woman for him. I could be everything that Callie couldn’t be for him. I was just another easy lay for him. I was so ashamed for so long but the day the doctor told me I was pregnant with B that all changed. I knew that no matter how much Dra didn’t want me I had a part of him no one else has. It sounds like something out of one of my romance novels. I have grown up since then, and I now know not to take anything that Dra says about us being a real family to heart. There is a part of me that died the next morning when Dra said that he made a mistake. It was the part of me that thought Dra walked on water and the part of me that trusted him. I let my mistrust of Dra interfere with my decisions to let him in B’s life and I know that is a mistake now and I will do what I can to make it up to both B and Dra for the time they have missed together. I know Dra said we were going to be a regular family, but I don’t think I will ever trust that. I also know that Dra is not bringing up the part where he said that we would consummate our marriage. Do I want that? Another chance at a night in Dra’s bed. Dra is the only man I have ever wanted in a sexual way. My problem is I don’t know if I can keep my heart out of the equation. Is there a such a thing as a one-night stand with your husband? I am so confused. I wish that Dra would let me talk to Aunt Deb or Micah. I can’t resist my attraction to Dra. He is the walking talking version of any woman’s wet dream. He’s tall and muscular with a presence that draws eyes to him. He is so self-assured that when you look at him you want to believe everything he says. He has a few tattoos that add to his hotness without taking away from his natural allure. I want to say I am not a superficial person but the night I saw Dra without his clothes on stunned me. I have seen attractive men. I don’t live with my head stuck in the sand but seeing Dra naked in all his glory was something I will never forget. I think I drooled. He has washboard abs and his six pack abs made me want to lick them. Did I say I drooled? His thick thighs are what made me melt. I am a leg woman. Who would have thought, not me? His legs looked so strong and then when I felt the muscles in his back. Men where I come from do not look like Dra. Alright, maybe some do, but I haven’t seen any of them. Then again, Dra is the only man I have ever seen completely naked. The thought makes me clinch my legs together. His sandy blonde hair and mesmerizing gray eyes are icing on an already stacked cake. I don’t know how in my simple mind that I could ever think that me with my mediocre looks could get and keep Dra’s attention. I mean I know he must be attracted to some of my looks. He loved Callie and even though I know love has nothing to do with looks there has to be a basic attraction to get to the love. Callie and I resemble each other a lot. Not as much as Micah, my twin, but Callie and I do have a similar build. I am a little taller than her, but I am still considered short at five-foot and three or four inches. I have the same dishwater blonde hair. My breasts have grown since having B and I finally reached a D cup and I have junk in my trunk since I started eating regular meals again. The time on the road took my weight off but it is showing up again. Fact is I like to eat and I don’t always have time for all the healthy things I need to be eating and I just don’t have the time or energy for more exercise after running after a toddler every day. I don’t know how all the mom’s do it and my hat is off to them. Dra’s phone beeping has me jumping since I was so far in my own head. Dra looks at the phone and ignores it. My nerves are getting the best of me. “We will be at the airstrip soon. When we get there all you need to do is grab your bag. I will get Betsy and her car seat,” Dra tells me.