A Love Undone

by Cindy Woodsmall

  “Really?” Her eyes reflected pleasure and maybe a bit more respect for Van. “You think he meant it?”

  “I do, but …” The fullness of Jolene’s future hit Andy. She had love to give, and she deserved a man free to receive it. She wanted a family. Glen was a good man who needed a wife.

  Andy hated where his thoughts were leading, and yet he knew the bond between Jolene and him needed to be broken—or at least weakened by the addition of Glen into their workdays and off time. They had a full three months ahead of them, and considering they’d grown to like each other this much in three weeks, what would months do?

  His head spun. The air vibrated with the sounds of tree frogs. The old chains of the porch swing squeaked, and Hope’s words to Glen were indistinguishable murmurs. For a split second he felt as if he’d stepped into a new dimension—one where God wooed him to keep his vow and help Jolene find her future.

  A plan took shape in his mind, and he knew how Glen could help free Jolene of the debt she owed her brothers and uncles because of Old Man Yoder. “Let’s be honest with him, Jo. About everything, including what Old Man Yoder did.”

  “But Van and Ray gave their word. I especially can’t tell a minister.”

  “First, you didn’t give your word, and, second, if you can’t tell a church leader, can you tell a close family friend?”

  She seemed reluctant.

  “We need Glen for my plan to get the money back from Yoder to work. He has no right to Ray’s money and certainly no right to enslave you in paying that kind of debt.”

  She nodded. “I’d like to get that money back.”

  “Another thing. If you tell Glen what happened between us yesterday and if months from now news of it does get out, you would’ve already done the right thing by confessing it to a minister. He won’t tell the other ministers.”

  “How do you know?”

  “Trust me.” He knew that when a good man had hopes of marrying a good woman, he would protect her reputation, especially if she confided in him. His heart revolted at his plan, and he wiped sweat from his brow. “Go for a walk with him and tell him everything.”

  “What if he refuses to let us work together?”

  “Explain the situation, and invite him to join us as often as he can.”

  She didn’t seem in favor of that idea. Was she still holding on to romantic notions about him?

  He had to be blunt with her and assure himself of the truth. They both had to realize the finality of his situation. It broke his heart. If it broke hers, it would be the beginning of accepting their reality. Her heart would mend, and then she would be free to fall in love with someone. If she never cared for Glen in that way, surely God would bring the right man across her path. But he wasn’t sure Jolene would recognize him until she was free of their alleged friendship. Friends didn’t have to fight against their attraction to each other. They didn’t want to date.

  “When I leave here after the horses are adopted, I won’t return. We won’t exchange letters or phone calls.”

  “Why?” Her screech caused Glen to look their way. He put the lids on the children’s jars, and Andy knew he was wrapping up with them and would send them on their way shortly.

  “Because I’m married, Jo. She could return tomorrow or never, but her behavior toward me and Tobias doesn’t change the vows I took.”

  “Maybe God has more grace than what the letter of the law states. If so, would it be so wrong to stay in contact?”

  “Even if He does, the Amish don’t. That’s the reality, and we have our families’ feelings and reputations to protect. I’ve got to think of Tobias above all else.” He was also thinking of Jolene, but she would accept his stance more easily if he placed the sole responsibility on Tobias.

  Jolene bit back tears, but she nodded.

  “You’ll be okay.” The emphasis was meant to assure her of the strength she had, but he realized there was a double meaning. She would be okay. When he left here, he would enter a never-ending winter, the harshness of which he’d only read about. “I’m sorry.” But he’d been right that she was harboring feelings of hope about their relationship. Clearly, he was too.

  “I get it.” She nodded. “I do.”

  “Hey.” Glen closed the gap between them. He glanced at Andy before focusing on Jolene. “Did you forget I was coming by tonight?”

  “I did. But I’m glad you found me, because I need to tell you some things. And then the three of us need to talk.”

  Andy eased away, neither of them seeming to notice. He watched as they walked toward the road, talking.

  Would Glen understand and help with Andy’s plan to get the Keims’ money back, or would he be offended by what Jolene was about to tell him? Would he do everything in his power to pull Jolene off this farm and out of Andy’s life immediately?

  Ray hummed, and the dim glow of a kerosene lamp lit the way as he climbed the stairs to the haymow. The dogs watched him from below as he tossed a bale onto the ground. His feet longed to dance. Yesterday had been his last day at the cabinetry shop. Uncle Calvin had questioned his leaving, and Ray had said he’d appreciated the job and hoped he’d done it justice for his uncle’s sake, but the truth was, he had a new job for the summer and prospects for the fall. It seemed rude to tell him he didn’t like the work.

  His uncle had smiled, nodding and looking pleased for Ray. He then said that Ray only needed to give a one-week notice … if that’s what he wanted.

  The week was over, and today Ray was a free man. His brain was clear of the fog, and no matter what had gone wrong last week, his thoughts never reverted to choppy, immature sentences, and now he wanted to swing from the rafters of this old barn. Instead, he scurried down the ladder and finished his chores.

  He’d used their new phone and called Teena last week. If all went well today, he might get to see her for a few minutes tonight. While he finished filling the water trough, the dogs began barking. Ray made several fast kissing noises, and the dogs returned to him, scrunching close to the ground as if they feared him. Would they ever get past that behavior? He turned off the water and hung the hose before he patted them. “Good job, guys. But I can’t let you wake Hope.”

  Jolene was up baking before she had to leave for Lester’s farm. Starting Monday, he’d go with her. He blew out the lantern and walked out of the barn. An oversize pickup truck was in the driveway. The sky had turned a dark purple with streaks of orange as daylight crept onto this side of the earth. The cool summertime air carried the aroma of honeysuckle and Jolene’s baked goods. The sugary smell reminded him of a lifetime of waking up to baked goods. A mourning dove cooed, and the dogs wagged their tails as they walked beside him. Would all mornings from now on feel this beautiful?

  The driver cut off the truck engine, but Ray didn’t recognize the man. Made sense, he guessed. James didn’t want anyone around here knowing they were going to sell flowers on an empty lot a couple of towns over, so he’d probably found a driver from outside these neighboring districts.

  James got out of the vehicle but stayed at the door of the truck. “Gut. It looks like you’re ready.”

  “I just need to put the dogs inside. Don’t want them getting hit.”

  When Ray opened the back door, the aroma of pastries washed over him. As he shooed the dogs inside, Jolene came toward him with three brown lunch bags in hand.

  “Perfect timing.” She stepped onto the porch.

  Ray closed the door and followed his sister down the steps.

  James shrank back a few steps. Was he afraid of her? She held up the bags. “Pastries and coffee in to-go cups. One bag for each of you.” She walked to the truck. What was his sister up to? She could’ve just handed the bags to him.

  “Wow. That’s really nice of you.” James took the bags.

  “You’re welcome.”

  He reached into the truck, aiming to pass one bag to the driver. He almost dropped it, and when he did hand it to the man, he banged his head before stand
ing up straight. “S … s … sorry.”

  What was he apologizing for—hitting his head?

  The driver ducked to see Jolene while opening and sniffing the bag. “Thank you!”

  She grinned. “You’re quite welcome. I hope you like it.” She focused on James. “I make you nervous, and that makes me nervous.” Jolene searched his face. “Care to help me understand?”

  James set the other two bags on the truck seat. “Well …” He removed his straw hat and held it with both hands, fidgeting with it. “I just figure you don’t much care for me … you know, since I’m Van’s brother, and he … well, you know.”

  “Ah.” She nodded. “And maybe because I know of your hangout in the woods? And taking Yoder’s dogs with Ray wasn’t the wisest thing you’ve done lately.”

  Why did his sister feel a need to say all that to James?

  “That too.” James inched his hands along the brim of his hat, slowly turning it round and round. “But those dogs weren’t being treated right.”

  Ray figured this was why he and James got along. They thought alike, which Ray found comforting … and scary since his thinking tended to be skewed at times.

  “Remember the first time Van brought me to Ohio to meet the whole family?” Jolene asked.

  “How could I forget? I was about ten, and I lived for fishing. You and Van took me, and you helped me reel in the biggest fish ever caught in that creek.”

  She shuddered. “Ew.”

  He laughed. “Ya, that’s what you were like then too, but you waded out into the creek with a net and got wet up to your waist making sure that fish didn’t get away. It’s mounted on my wall.”

  “That was a fun time, including the picnic that was overrun with grasshoppers.”

  James held up two fingers. “There were only a couple, and after one hopped onto your dress, you danced around squealing for nearly a minute.” He laughed. “I told Van you were a little too girly about lots of things for my taste.” His eyes got large. “Sorry, I didn’t mean …”

  She chuckled. “I’m still a lot like that, but since God made me a girl, I intend to use the rights of that license as needed.”

  “That’s funny.” James relaxed a little.

  She lowered her eyes for a moment. “Ray said that whatever you’re doing today is private, and he’s not supposed to tell me. I suppose you’re both old enough to have that right, but when I find out—and I always find out—will I mind?”

  “Some will laugh at us, but I doubt you would mind what we’re doing.” James shrugged. “We’re going a few towns away to set up a stand and sell flowers. I’ve been told we can make good money at it, but I don’t want any of the other guys to know. That’s all.”

  “Oh.” She gave James a familiar lopsided, you’re-okay-kid smile. Ray knew that smile well. “I won’t tell anyone, and I hope you sell every flower you’ve paid for. It may be a little unusual for a young man to sell flowers, but you should be pleased with yourself for being willing to venture into something that takes guts.”

  James’s eyes bugged out.

  Ray elbowed her. “You’re pretty cool.”

  “Almost,” she mumbled and pointed at the truck. “Get. What time will you be home tonight?”

  Ray paused. “Depends. But I’d rather not say on what.”

  Jolene drew a deep breath and folded her arms. “You and James sticking together?”

  “Ya.”

  “Then that’s fine. Home by eleven.”

  Ray’s day just kept getting better, and it was early morning! “Will do.”

  Ray crawled into the truck and waved to his sister. The sky had turned lavender, and the top of the sun peered through breaking clouds. He couldn’t recall seeing this side of Jolene before. Then again, they’d talked a lot since the incident with Yoder, and he understood himself better, so she trusted him more.

  James opened his bag and got out the coffee. “I thought she hated me. But she’s pretty cool, Ray.”

  “Ya, I know.” Ray opened his brown bag. “I thought she was as strait-laced as a body could get.”

  James put the drink between his knees. “But she’s like your Mamm. Don’t all children think that of their parents when they’re young? Maybe you’ll see more of the real Jolene now that you’re eighteen.” He took a sip of his coffee. “Do you know where Teena lives, you know, for after we’re done selling flowers?”

  “I have her address.”

  The driver pointed at the GPS. “If you have an address, I can find it.”

  Ray wasn’t ready for a serious girlfriend. He didn’t have a job past summer. He was only eighteen, and he’d vandalized Yoder’s place out of anger. Maybe Teena didn’t think of him that way, but he was ready to see her again and ask what was new in her life and tell her what was new in his.

  25

  Jolene stopped her pastry-toting wagon in front of the bakeshop. Glen was on the sidewalk, waiting for her, not a hint of a smile on his face. He had treated her in this manner since they’d talked a couple of weeks ago. She opened the door to the rig. “Morning.”

  “Hi.” His tone was even and kind but almost void of friendliness. But he held out his hand and helped her down before he tethered the horse to the hitching post.

  Two weeks ago when he’d come to Lester’s place looking for her, she did as Andy requested and walked with Glen, explaining about her mistake of thinking Andy was a widower and her forwardness in letting him know she cared. Glen was clearly disappointed, maybe even hurt, although he said little, perhaps because she immediately launched into explaining what Ray had done and how Yoder had taken advantage of the situation. That angered him, and her revelation about caring for Andy seemed to move into the background. When she mentioned Andy had an idea to right the Yoder situation that would require Glen’s help, he wasted no time crossing the lawn to talk to Andy.

  Straightening her black apron, she gathered her thoughts. Glen followed her as she went to the back of the wagon and opened the pastry case. He held out his arms, and she loaded several boxes into them. Before she released the last one, she looked into his eyes. “I appreciate what you’re doing, and I admire that you’re helping me even though you’re disappointed in me.”

  Gentleness overshadowed his stoic face. “I should’ve been more understanding when you said what you did. But I’m not disappointed in you. It was reassuring that you confided in me and that you and Andy want me to come to the farm as often as I can and help with this plan. I just … Well, now that I’m ready to date, I thought, or maybe hoped, that you would feel differently toward me than you have other widowers.”

  “I do!” She hadn’t meant to sound that enthusiastic, but, goodness, she’d had nothing in common with any widower thus far except the awkwardness between them. Glen was in a class all his own. That didn’t mean she cared for him as a girlfriend would. Yet Andy wanted her to try, and she would do exactly that. She cleared her throat. “We’re friends, Glen, and becoming better ones as we go along. We’ve known each other forever, but you didn’t have any desire to date me until you began to heal from losing your wife. Your life changed, and at some point after that, you began to see me differently. My life hasn’t changed, so I haven’t had the same aha moment.”

  Thoughtful questioning lined his brows. “That’s really profound and quite helpful.” He smiled. “I feel better now. I suppose I should’ve known you would take some real wooing or you’d be snatched up by now, right?”

  She hadn’t thought of it like that. Andy certainly hadn’t done any wooing. He simply showed up, and on day two, bam, her heart hoped it had found a home.

  “So you meant it when you and Andy invited me to spend as much time at Lester’s farm this summer as possible?”

  “Ya.”

  He smiled before turning to go into the bakery. After they’d delivered the goods, they sat at a table in the bakeshop with a cup of coffee. Glen had a pastry, but as much as she enjoyed making pastries, she wasn’t one for eating them.
She was more of a homemade ice cream kind of girl.

  Glen pulled out his pocket notebook and flipped through the pages. “You have your lines memorized?”

  “I know what needs to be said, so that’s enough. I just hope I can keep my cool. This may sound ridiculous, but I’m a mix of emotions. I’m angry at Yoder and want that money back, but I feel guilty because Ray and Van gave their word, and I’m not abiding by it.”

  “Deceitful people often get away with stealing from others because good people don’t want to get dirty in the fight. The dirt in this instance is your guilt that you can’t be completely forthright. I don’t like it either, but I like giving the Yoders of the world the upper hand even less.”

  “Basically that means my conscience is haunting me far more than Yoder’s is weighing on him.”

  “I’m sure of it.” He tightened the lid on his to-go cup and took a sip of coffee. “How did your uncle end up with someone like Old Man Yoder as his second-in-command guy?”

  “According to what my Daed told me when I was a little girl, Uncle Calvin and Old Man Yoder went into business together when they were young men, early twenties.”

  “But Yoder doesn’t own any of the cabinetry shop, does he?”

  “Not anymore. Daed said about seven years in, before you and I were born, the two had a falling-out, and they parted ways.”

  “What happened?”

  “According to my Daed and Lester, Uncle Calvin never said, so it’s only speculation.”

  “Kumm on, Jolene. Tell me what the rumors were. It might help us pull off this plan.”

  He might be right, but she couldn’t resist teasing him. “You just want in on the gossip.”

  His eyes flashed with humor. “It’s one of the perks in the nonpaying position of having been chosen to be a minister. I know today’s gossip, and I have the power to learn what took place before I was born.”

  “Lester once told me that Yoder was stealing from Uncle Calvin. Lester called it cooking the books. Once Uncle Calvin caught him, he paid Yoder for his share of the business, minus what he had stolen, and ended the partnership. Yoder left the church and moved away. He returned ten years later, repented, paid the price of being shunned, and got right with the church. Then he went to Uncle Calvin with his hat in hand, flat broke. Calvin hired him, but he doesn’t let him do any banking or bookkeeping.”