by Xyla Turner
We did not get back to the hotel we rented out for the wedding party until three in the morning. An hour later, someone knocked on our suite door. Everyone was up except Tess, who was lightly snoring in the other bedroom. Susan answered it and I cringed because I thought it was a neighbor that was upset we were playing the television too loud.
"Nina, it's for you?" she shouted from the front door.
Damn.
The hotel room rental was under my name and if they tried to kick us out, I planned to beg because my best friend’s wedding was just hours away. Prepared to stand my ground, I swung the door open and started to say, "I'm really sorry, we ..."
It wasn't the concierge or a hotel employee. It was Knox. As recognition hit me, I started to back away but he moved into the room and nabbed my wrist.
"Don't worry," he said to Bridget. "She'll be back in time."
"Knox, what the hell?" I leaned back so he could see the look on my face. "What..."
My entire world turned upside down, as he hauled me over his shoulder and all I could see was his jean-covered butt. That alone, riled me up as I realized the ass just threw me over his shoulder so all I could see was his ass.
With my fist balled up, I started pounding on his bottom.
"Knox, you big ass bully. Put me down this instant!" I commanded.
I should have known the man gave no fucks about other people's demands. He kept making the long strides towards his destination and if he thought hauling me to his room was going to have him picking up where we left off, he had another thing coming.
When he finally stopped, and put me in an upright position, I wobbled but he held me by the waist. After the dizzy and light-headed feeling passed away, I narrowed my eyes at the smiling Knox. We weren’t near any rooms but a small alcove in the hotel that had one floor to ceiling window that led to a balcony with two stone benches on both sides of the wall.
"What in the fuck is wrong with you?" I sneered.
"Told you we had to talk. You're a bit tipsy, I'm tossed; better time than any to talk," he observed. "Hell, you won't even acknowledge my presence even when we're arm-in-arm."
"There is nothing to talk about," I countered as I prepared to leave him standing right there. "Everything that needed to be said, was already said the last time I saw you. Told you then, I was done. I'm repeating that now, I'm done. We're good."
Knox stared at me for a beat before he said, "We're far from good. I've missed you something fierce, even went back down to Evans to beg your forgiveness. Imagine my surprise, that you'd up and left."
The man turned around, sat down on the bench, leaving me to exit on my own.
Thank God.
"I was married," Knox started to say while staring out the window of the dead-end hallway. "We were high school sweethearts and she was the most beautiful thing in the world at the time. I bought the house and a year later, she was pregnant. It was the best moment of my life, finding out I was going to be a father. Eight months later, my child," he paused, which made me take a step towards him.
"Knox, it's okay. You don't need to tell me." I tried to bring him some comfort.
His head swiveled around and he pinned me to my spot, then he said through gritted teeth, "No. I do have to tell you this. You haunt my fucking dreams because I know you're the one. I fucked it up but I know you're it for me."
His words should have repulsed me, made me scream and run back to the suite but instead, I continued to stand there. My legs felt heavy, as if they were anchored by a ton of bricks. Perspiration caused me to feel damp under my arms, my forehead and even the back of my legs. My palms started to itch and my nose felt like it was running, causing me to sniffle.
"The baby, our Lauren, came out stillborn," Knox said and an uninvited tear trickled from my eye. “Lilly took it bad and I took to the bottle. Then one day, I looked up and she'd left. She just took off without a word, trace or anything for me to follow. Her friends and family told me to let her go, she wanted to be alone and sometime later, I received divorce papers. By then, in my head, I'd counted her as a home-wrecking bitch, who I wanted nothing to do with. My bitterness grew and so did the barriers around my heart."
My butt found itself on the bench sitting next to the man as he seemed to break my heart with each word.
"Until you," Knox seemed to whisper. "I was walking around for years thinking I wasn't good enough. Father, husband, brother, son, and even as a man. My failures haunted me and I refused to deal with that shit. Just turned into my Pops. A bitter aging man with nothing to show for his hard work except a chip on his shoulder. Then to make matters worse, I meet this woman, who I fucking love being around but I kept pushing her away."
He scoffed as he kept talking. "I mean, this one is tough as nails and if she can handle my shit, then I know for a fact, I have a fighting chance. But I'd pushed too far. Gone too far because she'd gone too far into my world or where I was comfortable having her. She'd brought me face-to-face with my failure. Brought it to light and at that horrible moment in my life, it unnerved me. I wanted her to leave and she did but that last time, I knew it was for good. Even when I bought the plane ticket to go grovel. I had prepared to beg but she wasn't even in the fucking state. Out of my league and out of my life. But for the life of me, I tried my damnedest to pick up the pieces of my fucked-up life. I tried to put them back together but everything doesn't fit. I've settled shit with my family, my ex, even some of the townies that have crossed my path on the wrong day. Even bought another set of furniture for Sarah’s Cuisine to match the other set that I had recently replaced. Yet, there's something missing. The puzzle isn't finished and while, I know you said, we'd do this dance and see each other at family events, maybe even fool around; Nina, I ain't okay with that shit. I tried to let you go, tried to move on. Sweetheart, it ain't happening."
Knox finally closed his rambling mouth and I swear I wanted to hit him. Like, just slap him across his face for saying what I couldn't say, what I couldn't admit, what I refused to acknowledge. If I brought the inevitable truth to his attention that day, he'd just done the same to me. I wanted to leave but God knows, I was sick of running from Knox Timms. My legs weren't strong enough to keep running because if I heard him correctly, he was making shit right and that meant I had no chance. Maybe if I was dealing with a bitter, angry and drinking Knox. A sober, humble and reflective Knox; now, that man, could rope me with his lasso and call it a day. This I knew, because I'd seen varying degrees of it when he was on his game. I'd seen it in his brother too and ironically enough, their wedding was tomorrow.
"I'm not ready." The words seemed to be torn from me as the blurriness of my vision grew worse. "I-I'm not ready."
Knox's head moved up and down in acknowledgement and maybe even agreement.
"Then, I'll wait for you sweetheart." His hand held onto mine. "I'll wait."
The two of us stayed like that for almost an hour. The tears were no longer flowing and had dried on my face. My head rested on Knox's shoulder and at some point, I must have nodded off. When I woke up again, I was in his arms and soon after, in his bed. His strong rough hands wiped the streaks of tears from my face and pulled me into him where I slept until he was waking me up with the smell of food and coffee.
"Wake up, sweetheart." He kissed me on the cheek. "Time for the big day."
My arms and legs extended in a stretch of my muscles. I'd only been asleep for a short while and should have had a slight headache but I had none of that. I felt fifty pounds lighter as if a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders. My eyes met Knox’s and I stared at the man with ruffled hair, no shirt and jeans that hung below his waistline. Well, that made me feel like I was home; safe, secure and comfortable.
I took a sip of the coffee that sat on the side table, then patted a spot next to me on the bed for him to sit. His smile grew brighter as he slowly descended on the mattress and snagged a piece of bacon.
"I got in contact with my mother." I started talking befor
e I lost my nerve. "I was also able to reach my father. Mom and I have a standing monthly session. Partly because I never knew the woman but blamed her for all the decisions she made. Partly because I needed to know why, so that I could begin my own healing process. I blamed them for so long, Knox. I just laid the blame at people’s feet, so I wouldn't have to deal with it. Especially when it felt as if everything was crashing down around me. It wasn't them that I had to blame, it was myself. I might be a product of their union but I refused to be a product of their environment. I no longer accept that. No more thrills, frills and other useless things matter to me. I still like to have fun but I want those interactions to be meaningful. I want them to be an investment for something later; not filler."
Knox nodded his head like he did last night and said, "Proud of you, girl."
He squeezed my thigh with one hand, wrapped his other around the back of my neck, effectively pulling me in so our noses were side-by-side and repeated. "So, fucking proud of you."
Those words.
This man
His proximity.
I kissed him. No thoughts, just kissed him until he took it over. Our lips pulling from one another as the other received what was offered. Our breaths heavy with longing and bodies sweating with need but we couldn't. Knox stopped us by pulling back and laying his forehead on mine.
"Eat up, so we can get the bride and groom off. We'll revisit us later," he said against my lips. "I promise."
"Promise."
Chapter Twelve
Knox:
My oldest brother was getting married to his soulmate and I don't know if I was happier about him or the fact that I felt like a new man after last night. Pouring out all of my shit to the woman I'd grown to love and desperately need felt like the biggest weight lifted of all. To have her come behind me and share how our time apart was spent, getting her shit together. Yeah, that was heaven.
That was a sign.
One, I wouldn't ignore.
Not anymore.
Tess and J.D.'s wedding started off as planned and we'd made it all the way until the preacher started to have them repeating their vows when someone burst through the door. It wasn't an exact bursting but during the quietest moment of a private gathering, any interruption seemed like a bursting. All heads turned to see who would interrupt at that moment and if drama had a name, it was in the form of an ex-girlfriend or boyfriend.
However, it wasn't J.D.’s ex, Sara, who came through, it was Mills’ ex-girlfriend, Rebecca.
"Holy fuck," he muttered as we all stood at the front of the chapel in black tuxedos, and looking like we were fresh out of an awards show. The women were beautiful, with their long form fitting light pink dresses. Nina was the maiden of honor, so hers was slightly different at the top. Her hair had transitioned from the curly afro she had this morning in my bed to a straightened bob with a light pink flower holding it behind her ear.
She was absolutely stunning and it was in that moment that I knew, I wanted to marry her. After Lily, I didn't want to marry no fucking body. Yet, this woman, she'd make me beg and crawl but fuck, I'd do it. I'd do it all for her.
"Calm down," I whispered to Mills.
Rebecca walked to an empty aisle and sat down. The woman didn't say a word and the ceremony continued. After J.D. and Tess walked down the aisle, we all filed out according to the plan to meet up in the reception area. As we were getting into the limo, Mills caught Rebecca by the arm and asked, "The fuck are you doing here?"
"We need to talk," she told him.
"This is my oldest brother's wedding. You felt this was the time to talk?" he sneered.
"Well, yeah," she snapped back. "This is the perfect time, since I knew you'd have her here."
Rebecca jabbed her finger towards a woman who looked familiar but I couldn’t place her. She was short in stature, a deep mahogany complexion with big eyes and long lashes. The mystery woman was looking at Mills and his ex’s interaction with curiosity but she gave nothing away.
"What does she have to do with you coming here?" Mills lowered his voice so only people near the wedding party's vehicle could hear.
"Well, since you've dumped me for her," she pushed her finger in the direction of that big-eyed woman again, while emphasizing the her. "I thought you should know I'm pregnant and it's yours. I've only ever slept with you. You know this and I'm willing to take a test to prove it."
Anyone who heard that news probably inhaled air as it was tough to breathe. The accused woman that Rebecca was talking about, finally revealed an expression that could be deciphered and there was nothing but pure pain that crossed her features and contorted her beautiful face. She didn't stay around for long and when she took off, Mills called, “Nadine. Nadine!”
She hiked up her long dress with both hands and ran towards the parking lot. When Mills was about to take off, I grabbed his arm and said, "Brother, I'm not sure what the hell is going on but your brother just got married and he needs you now."
This was something I probably wouldn't have said before but it was true and Mills probably figured if it was coming from me, then it must have been important.
He nodded at me, then turned a hateful glare towards Rebecca. "I knew you could be a bitch but I thought above all else, we were friends."
That comment nearly blind-sided her because her neck jerked back as her eyes widened.
"You lost my friendship when you dumped me," she snapped back, once her wits were regained.
Mills nodded his head, then he said, "Yeah, you've also lost my trust. I want that test and from here on out, you don't talk to me. Have your lawyer contact mine."
Holy shit.
Nobody was expecting that but if you cross Mills Timms the wrong way, one should expect to pay the consequences. The bad part about how all of that went down, was he was the mellow one out of the group.
Rebecca, damn sure, wasn't expecting that either because hot tears pooled in her eyes as Mills climbed in the limo, leaving her out there with me to deal with the blow. The woman's bottom lip started to quiver and I leaned into her and said, "Tears won't move him. That shit you just pulled was low. Put on your big girl panties and deal with the shit storm you just started. For fucks sake, have some pride about being the villain."
Rebecca glared at me before the tears started coming down her face. "I-I'm not the v-villain. That woman is the villain. She broke us up and now I'm going to have to deal with..."
"Cut the shit," I snapped at her. "That woman didn't break you up. No woman can break what was already broken. You want to be with a man that wants somebody else? He did you a favor and you should see it for that. You don't want a man that don't want you back. Fuck." My head was shaking at the foolishness of her thinking.
Her eyes registered that she knew more than she let on about wanting someone that didn't want her back, but instead of conceding, she dug her heels in.
"I'm pregnant and they both should know." Her words were absolute and I knew she would not waver.
"Well, I hope that keeps you warm at night. Mills will take care of his child without you by his side. This could have been handled a different way but now you've even lost the privileges to have Sunday dinner." I let that sink in and got in the limo so she could deal with that bullshit by herself.
Mills sat at the back end of the vehicle staring outside at nothing in particular. Troy looked to me and I shook my head. Silently communicating to him to leave it alone because nothing said at this point could provide comfort for what I knew his heart felt like.
Nothing.
When we arrived at the reception hall, the hors d'oeuvres and drinks were flowing and everyone was chatting around until the hall opened for dinner. The bridesmaids came shortly after us and when Nina's eyes met mine, she smiled. The bride and groom came right after, signaling for me to meet them in their designated room alongside Nina. When we came back through, the newlyweds were kissing and not changing. I cleared my throat but Nina hit me and said, "Let them have their
moment."
"Look at you," I said and pulled her into me.
Nina's arm wrapped around my waist then she laid her head on my chest. There we watched the couple, my brother and new sister-in-law kiss like nobody else was in the room. That display made my heart warm; so much so that I had pulled my girl up towards me, so that both arms were wrapped around me. When I looked down, those brown eyes were gazing up towards me. I lifted her chin and placed a chaste kiss to her luscious, extra glossy lips. I pulled back because this was their moment but in some ways, it was ours too.
Nina's thumb came up as she wiped the gook from my lips. J.D. must have caught that little display of affection because he yelled, "Bout fucking time."
"I know, goddamn," Tess contributed. "All this time, y'all playing around with each other. Please say this is for real and y'all are not on that bullshit."
Nina and I looked at each other and burst out laughing. We couldn't even answer them because they seemed more exasperated about our back and forth than we did. Eventually, they changed clothes and left us out there giggling like hyenas.
The reception was another epic moment that involved dancing, laughing and drinking. We made tearful speeches and even managed to teach some honkytonk line dances to Tess' side of the family. They, in turn, taught us some other line dances, including one in particular called the Cha Cha Slide.
After the newlyweds were off on their way to the hotel before they left for Paris, a bunch of us stayed behind. J.D. and Nina’s honeymoon would last all of three weeks and when they returned, an official move back to New York. None of us were all that disturbed by the move because we knew that we'd see J.D. often enough. The family knew that the man was happiest with his new wife. Who were we to deny the man his happiness, make him feel guilty, or even contest such a move.
After some of the stragglers cleared out of the hall, Nina and I stayed back to make sure things were handled properly. These were a part of our duties as the go-to people. A coat was left behind by an attendee and there was a drunk guy in the men's bathroom, that no one remembers inviting. He was beyond comprehending but when I heard the murmuring of someone else in the back of the large restroom, I went to investigate. Around one of the corners was Mills talking into a phone.