Love Renewed (Entwined Hearts #3)

by Maria Macdonald

  “I’m going to Vegas next week. I’ll be busy for the first week, but the second week I was thinking about flying to New York. I could chat to our contact while I’m there. If nothing else, maybe find out what was on that fourth disk, before trying to work out who took it.”

  “Of course,” he replies handing me the box. “Whatever you need me to do I’ll be ready. Just let me know.” Standing to leave, no goodbye is uttered as I climb in the lift and travel to the basement, reaching my waiting car, heading toward home and wondering how I’m suddenly stuck in both a personal shit storm and a professional one.

  “Nova.” I just can’t get his voice out of my head, or the picture that seems to be imprinted on my brain of him calling me that name. But it was the look of devastation when I said I couldn’t remember him that seems to be seared into my retinas.

  “Libby, are you okay?”

  I blink at Davy. “Oh yeah, I’m good. What are you getting?” My voice is flat, I can hear it, and judging by Davy’s wince he heard it too.

  “Libby, we can leave the date tonight if you want?” His question doesn’t surprise me. Davy and I have been dating for about six months. Even after all this time, we still only see each other once a week. Every week. Specifically every Saturday. He seemed sweet, sexy, and kind of edgy when we first met at my job. Now I wonder if that guy ever actually existed.

  Working at an accounts firm is boring. Boring and brain-numbing. Nothing interesting ever happens, and before Davy, there were no hot guys to work with. I’ve worked as a receptionist at Douglas, Kirk and Sully Accountants for nearly three years. I’m part of the furniture. My job isn’t particularly exciting, but it pays the bills, and the people I work directly with are nice. Plus, my best friend Melissa works with me. We met here, she started about six months before me. Luckily she was here to show me the ropes. Until Davy, though, well, it was just another job. I’d been working there for just under two years the day he arrived. I remember it like it was only yesterday.

  “Fuck, he’s hot,” Mel said slapping me on the arm. My head hung down as I was trying to get some important reading completed. Fallen Crest High by Tijan had been downloaded on the recommendation of a friend only that morning, and I couldn’t put it down. It didn’t bother me that Mason Kade was about ten years my junior…he was my latest book boyfriend and I couldn’t tear myself away.

  “Who?” I asked my head still in the Kindle.

  “Sexy suit and glasses guy, heading this way.”

  Only snapping my head up as he arrived, Davy dazzled me on sight. So much so that my voice escaped me, and although I was aware he was talking, I couldn’t make out what he was saying as my brain was having a hard time engaging. The moment it kicked back in Melissa was speaking.

  “I’ll help you. Sorry Libby isn’t feeling herself today, all those silly romance books she reads.” Glancing over to Mel I noticed she had leant forward enough that her arms were squeezing her breasts up and almost out of the top she was wearing.

  “I don’t think there’s anything wrong with reading. Romance specifically, it just lets you know what you want and it helps some people realise that they can shoot for better than average,” he said all the while staring at me. He ended his words with a wink. All the air left my lungs and I felt my cheeks heat.

  “Some of us don’t need books, some of us know just how we like things,” Mel interjected. She was well known for her brazenness. She was the loud to my quiet, the high maintenance to my low, the brash to my unassuming. I watched with interest as hot suit guy flicked his eyes momentarily to Mel and tipped his lips up in a placating way, then his eyes slid back to mine.

  “I’m Davy Brooks,” he said extending his hand. I was taken aback. Visitors didn’t usually address us personally, especially not with handshakes. I looked between his hand and face twice before Mel jumped in and took his palm in hers. He twisted to her and gave a polite smile. After a few shakes the situation was becoming awkward, even as a bystander. I watched Mel smiling at Davy and fluttering her eyelashes while he tried to disengage his hand. In the end, he snatched it away, and for the sake of my friend I quickly averted my eyes to my Kindle, so she thought I hadn’t seen.

  “See, in her book again, no man will ever match up.” Mel almost spat the words out and I was embarrassed and worried, as we still had no idea who this guy was. Fortunately, he chuckled. I stared at him slightly warily and gave him a timid smile.

  “How can we help you, Mr. Brooks,” I asked in my most polite tone.

  “Davy, please. And you can start by telling me your name?” His answer surprised me and made me immediately suspicious.

  “Why?” The question popped out without warning. Quickly slapping my hand over my mouth, I apologised.

  “Sorry,” he said and it was obvious he was now trying not to laugh. Realising this was because I still had my hand over my mouth and was, therefore, mumbling, my cheeks flushed. I wasn’t sure at this point if I could be any more mortified. I pulled my hand away and closed my eyes for a second. Mentally slapping myself. Hard. Then opening my eyes again, I plastered on a professional smile.

  “Good morning Mr. Brooks…Davy…I’m Elizabeth Burchall…Libby. Nice to meet you.”

  He smiled at me and this time it seemed genuine. “Good morning, Libby.” He offered me his hand again, this time I took it. Clasping my small hand in his, I was surprised and slightly agitated when he stroked the back of it with his thumb. Pulling my arm back in a jerky motion, made him release his grip on me.

  “How can I help you today?” What could I say, I was ever the professional.

  He just smirked. “I’m here to see Mr. Kirk.”

  “Of course, Sir. If you would like to take a seat, I’ll let him know you’re here.”

  He nodded, smiling and walked over to the leather sofas that filled our waiting area. Taking a seat he kept his eyes on me, and I couldn’t quite determine if that made me feel flattered or creeped out.

  “Do you, Lib?” Davy asks bringing me out of my memories.

  Memories—any memories—are something I truly cherish, and that’s hard for a lot of people to understand.

  “No, sorry, of course, I want to have this date tonight. There’s just a lot on my plate at the moment, what with this interview,” I lie.

  He knows I’m lying, probably knows that I don’t really have the interview I’ve been talking about since coming back from England. It’s just a way of distracting him from my real thoughts. I just don’t think he really wants to know what’s actually bothering me. Never wanting to see past the surface. That’s Davy. He’s always loving toward me…when I see him. He just doesn’t do deep, it’s like he keeps himself at a distance so he doesn’t actually feel.

  The waiter appears magically, I almost expect a puff of smoke to surround him. “Are you ready to order?” he asks looking at my breasts.

  “We are,” Davy snaps gaining his attention. “I’ll have the soup to start and fillet mignon in red wine sauce.” He doesn’t offer a ‘please,’ he obviously spotted the waiter’s stray eyes.

  “Ma’am?” The waiter turns to me, his eyes once again wander to my breasts.

  “I’ll have the lobster ravioli, please.” Turning he leaves.

  “Davy,” I mutter and his eyes lock onto mine, he has a hardness in them now.

  “Just leave it, Lib. He’s a douche, and your top is too low cut.” His eyes move around the room. He never looks at me when he knows what he’s saying is unfair, never apologises either. Today I don’t care, my mind isn’t in it. Plus, the distance we have means that I can be left to my own thoughts.

  Staring at Davy, I take in all that is him. He’s taller than me, although that isn’t hard as I’m only five-foot-three, but at five-foot-ten he isn’t particularly tall for a man. Looking down his body to his waist, his bottom half is hidden under the table, but I know what he looks like under that expensive suit. He uses the gym three times a week, at least. Well, that’s what he tells me, it’s one o
f the reasons we only have one date a week. That, and the fact that he thinks, if we dated more than once a week, we would burn out because we work together. I never really understood his logic because we hardly see each other at work. Still, he’s not lying, he definitely goes to the gym. I’ve seen his body, it’s a gym body, of that there is no denying. He has blue eyes. Unfortunately they aren’t very special, and often lack expression and depth. His brown hair is neatly coiffered with its short back and sides. He always keeps it perfectly tidy, the same as his facial hair, or that should be lack thereof. He doesn’t do facial hair. I suppose it’s expected in his profession—Accountant.

  He came into my workplace, and my life that day, because he had been headhunted. Recruited into our firm by one of the partners. His eyes drift back to me and he smiles, then looks out the window. I ponder why I’ve never felt raw passion with him…with anyone.

  My mind again flicks to Dane, wondering whether I had that kind of passion, in my past, with him. I was only a kid really, so probably not. Still, my mind won’t seem to push him out. I know we have a history, not that I can remember any of it. But he did fill me in when I was in England. All the basics. But it’s the things he never said. The words that I could see on the tip of his tongue, the one’s he never expressed. He kept his mouth shut, but his eyes…Dane has no problem with expressive eyes. His eyes could tell stories, they’re so beautiful. Even so, I couldn’t get past the fear within me. He mistook it for fear of him. I let him believe that it was easier than facing a whole lot of uncertainty. The unknown scares me. It’s my biggest anxiety. I have plenty of unknown in my past and don’t need unknown in my future.

  Solid. Expected. Predicted. That’s what I need.

  Davy—he’s all those things. Dependable. I need that in my life. I smile and grab his hand.

  “How was work today?” I ask him.

  His eyes whip back to mine. I’m sure there’s something momentarily in them before it disappears.

  “Good. I’m pretty certain I’ve got this new account in the bag, Larissa was saying…”

  He carries on talking about work. I sit intently smiling. I’m a bad girlfriend. I don’t really listen to him because my mind keeps jumping back to Dane.

  “You made me better Nova. Sorry, I know you like to go by Libby, I’m not trying to piss you off.” He sighed. “You’ll always be my Nova…” The whisper slipped from his lips.

  My plate is put in front of me and I pick up my cutlery while Davy continues talking.

  Yes. Dependable, stable, consistent. That’s what I need.

  I just wish my heart and head were on the same page.

  “Oh God, yes!”

  I look down at the woman between my thighs and grimace. I just wanted a fuck. A release. Not her voice splitting my skull. She thinks it’s sexy. It’s not. While I bang into her over and over again I should be building up to the few seconds of pure bliss I need right now. Not thinking about how I should have gagged her.

  Leaning forward over her, I slip my hand around her throat, watching as her slender neck disappears under my palm, positioning my thumb and forefinger on each side of her jaw, holding her in place. She automatically tilts her head back slightly and opens her mouth, but this time without sound. This is turning her on, which works for me because I wasn’t about to stop. I can feel her pulse through my hand and so squeeze my fingers, tightening on each thrust in. Her eyes widen and flick to the corner of my mouth then back to my eyes. I know what she sees. It’s what they all see…the only thing I allow.

  Emptiness, darkness and cruelty.

  They need to know. It’s who I am.

  It’s who I’ll always be.

  I finish up. Pulling myself out of her and out of the bed, her eyes snap open and she stares at me.

  “What are you doing?” she whines.

  I look over at her while pulling my jeans on. “Going home.”

  “Well, you could stay?” she asks, with a smile. “We could do that again.” Her smile turns into a smirk

  “No thanks,” I reply. Mentally going over the list of things I had on me and making sure I’ve got them all before leaving.

  You never come back.

  Never.

  Rule One—If you leave your phone, wallet, house keys, etcetera, you get new ones. New phone, new wallet—Fuck! You get a new house if you have to. But you never come back. Period.

  She frowns at me, I can see her brain working. “Okay, do you want to meet up later this week?” She’s grasping at straws and is sounding desperate.

  “Not gonna happen. This was tonight. Just tonight. I told you when we were at the bar. This was a one-time deal. I fuck you. I leave.” My mouth twitches. “I’ve fucked you. Now I’m leaving.”

  She scowls as my eyes land on my jacket.

  “You complete wanker!” she shouts.

  “Not sure what you expected?” I reply grabbing my jacket and heading to the bedroom door.

  “Well thanks for fucking me!” she clips angrily as I walk away.

  I salute her. “Pleasure babe.” Then walk out of her bedroom and her life, and I go back to feeling the cold. In more ways than one.

  With my hands above my head gripping the door frame, I look over my family. Con has baby Eleanor on his knees, his big hands cup her head and hold her back and neck. She’s three months now, and turning into a little character. The little blonde mop of hair that sits on the top of her head is sticking up in all directions and her big blue eyes are constantly alert. Pea says the colour will change soon. I hope not. The blue is beautiful and pure. Con holds her like she’s the most delicate gift in the world.

  I’m happy for what Pea has. This family is a blessing for all of us. My eyes flick over to Pea and Soph. They’re kneeling on either side of the coffee table, pouring over the wedding paperwork. Vegas is only next week, all the information of what they have managed to set up via the Internet, arrived yesterday, which meant a family get together to go over all the details. I don’t mind being summoned. It’s something that I’ve had to get used to. It’s strange having a family after all these years. Sometimes my automatic response is still to pull away, but these people love me. What I do know, is that I care for them. I’d kill for them. So I’ll be what they need, in any way I can be. I’m glad that Saul and I have a good relationship. I’m proud of the man he is and wish I could be more like him. To have some of his strength, his passion, rather than feeling like I have nothing left in me to give anymore. While the girls are immersed in the wedding crap, Saul’s eyes are burning into Soph with complete love. In the same way I assess people, Saul does too. But his is with a cleanness, a kindness. He’s the person I wish I was. He hasn’t been hardened in the way I have. And I sure as fuck hope he’s never killed.

  “Have you booked everything Dane?” Pea asks and it brings me out of my thoughts.

  “Yes, it’s all done. Didn’t want you women nagging at me,” I reply with a smirk and a wink, which gets a pillow thrown at me.

  Feeling a buzz coming from my back pocket and pulling out my phone, I see a text. Glancing at the room to check everyone is busy, so I walk away to read it.

  Cassandra: I want to play. Are you free to come over in an hour?

  I close my eyes and think for a moment. Cassandra is a regular fuck for me. It’s not something I normally do. I never go back. Always sticking to rule number one. Cassandra is the exception, though. I’ve known her for eight years, and except for the time I was dating Soph, I have regularly fucked Cass. We met through work. She was a model—I’d only just starting building my own company—and I was still regularly modelling myself. It was all a front of course. A way to keep my dark side a secret, and also a way to keep myself in check, making sure I was doing normal things and not slipping completely underground.

  The first time I laid eyes on her my dick twitched. She was the bombshell you see on the car calendars. She isn’t your typical model. She has tits and arse, but because she spends so much time in the gym her
body’s still as tight as fuck. Her bright auburn hair is long and poker straight. Her smile blinding. She’s damaged, though. Like me. When we first met, we were doing a shoot together, she instantly disliked me. She assumed I was going to be like every other prick, and wanted to chat her up. I cleared that up pretty quick.

  “You can stop looking at me like I have a disease. I’m not about to pounce on you,” I told her.

  She arched her perfect eyebrow at me and replied, “So you don’t want to take me out just to get into my knickers then?”

  I smirked. “I don’t go out on dates. I fuck. End of. There would be no flowers or romance with me, just hard, sweaty fucking.”

  “Sounds perfect,” she answered, shocking me. I hadn’t believed her, women all say that shit to get you between their legs, then when you leave, they call you a bastard.

  “Okay. There’s a hotel across the road. After the shoot, we can go over there. Check in. I’ll fuck you. Then I’ll leave. There will be nothing else. I have nothing else to offer,” I challenged her.

  “Deal. I need a release. I don’t want anything from anyone. I’m happy as I am,” she replied with her arms crossed. I took in her stance, which was anything but welcoming and wondered how the day would end.

  It ended with one of the best fucks of my life. When it was time to leave, Cass just smiled and said, “See you around.”

  We saw each other five times over the next year, each time we ended up fucking. It was the fifth fuck when I decided to swap phone numbers. I’d already broken my cardinal rule, so I might as well have good sex while it lasted. It’s now been eight years and we still call each other a few times a year.

  Looking back at my phone my fingers move over the buttons of their own accord.

  Me: I’ll be there. You better answer the door in nothing but heels. Then I want you on your knees.