Reprise (Ruby Riot #3)

by Lisa Swallow

  I step from the elevator, shaking with nerves I need to calm. This is my biggest project yet and a million scenarios play through my head over what could go wrong. Have I dealt with everything? Too late now because the doors open in five minutes.

  A brief search of the back of the venue and I locate Mitchell. This man knows how to dress. Wow. I’m half-tempted to tell him how amazing he looks in his well-cut suit, how the shirt accentuates the muscles I’ve absentmindedly suspected are as toned as they obviously are. Then I pull on my professionalism. He’s attractive, but not for me.

  I laugh at myself; the last guy who aroused any interest was covered in tattoos, and he wouldn’t know how to smarten up if you held him down and dressed him in a suit. My mind drifts. When I held Nate down, it wasn’t to put clothes on him.

  “Stunning, Riley,” says Mitchell with a smile.

  “Thanks. Thought I should make an effort.”

  “Definitely. Just…” Mitchell stretches a hand out and I freeze as his fingers lightly brush the top of my chest. “Your pendant is facing the wrong way.” He flips over the black jewel and smiles. “There you go.”

  Crap. My heart is already elevated, joined by the massive swarm of butterflies accompanying me in my chest and stomach this evening. I don’t want my body thinking it’s because of him. Subject change. “Thanks. Right, what’s next?”

  “Security are in situ, paparazzi herded into their enclosure, and the man himself is almost ready.”

  I check the time. “Where is Cole? He’s close to late.”

  “He’s changing, don’t stress. I told him he can’t be late for this one.”

  I take calming breaths and switch my focus from everything but what I need to be right now. I’m Riley Sawyer. I’m bloody good at my job. Today is the end of a very long week, and the beginning of a night that will change the direction of my career. More than that, I’m the whole of myself, nothing hidden anymore. I own and accept what I can’t control, and my past can stay where it needs to be.

  My life is more than some people dream of and I never took time to be grateful for this. Now, I’m on the way to making my own happiness too. Nate started the journey alongside, and in my heart, I wish he’d continued with me, but he’s chosen to stay behind.

  The bar bustles with the mix of TV, music, and film celebrity, and I stand and look at exactly what I’ve managed. A huge banner for Gold Lily is draped across the back wall, and attendees have signed the canvas to pledge huge amounts of money.

  As the room fills, I relax and network. My card is handed to half a dozen TV stars, and my sneaky refusal to invite anybody important from other PR companies helps put me in front of one or two potential clients with no competition.

  Happy with how the evening is going I retreat to a corner table and sip my cocktail in peace. The Golden Lily cocktail is specially designed for the event. I’m unsure what’s in the glass, but it tastes like some of the sweets Josh loves. Whatever the drink contains, it’s strong, and after my bad night at Tegan and Jax’s, I’ve kept away from alcohol. After this, I’m wiser to stay away tonight.

  I startle as Mitchell taps me on the shoulder. “Time to relax.” He gestures across the room. “Happy people leaving big donations. Great job for the evening!”

  “Joint effort,” I say with a smile.

  He toasts me, his full glass against my almost empty one. “Can I get you another drink?” he asks.

  “That’s okay; I think I’ve had enough.”

  “Don’t want to lose your inhibitions, huh?” He winks. Mitchell’s less sober than me. I saw him happily knocking back flutes of champagne as he mingled.

  “Something like that.”

  We walk to a table in a quiet corner and sit, and I tense as Mitchell’s leg rests against mine. “You’re pretty damn amazing, Riley Sawyer.”

  “That’s very nice of you to say.” I play with the straw in my drink, hoping to hell that this isn’t going the direction I suspect.

  “Told you before. Respect for what you do.”

  I nod and watch the beautiful people around me, beneath the bright lights casting golden hues across the floor. Another client, young footballer Leigh Frank, gives a thumbs up in my direction as he passes with his trophy girlfriend. I smile in return.

  Intent on watching people around, I miss Mitchell saying something until he repeats my name. “Pardon?”

  “Wondered if you’d like to come out with me for a drink sometime?” he asks.

  I blink. “Me? Oh. Um.”

  “No? Okay, should’ve kept my mouth shut. Ignore that.” He pulls a face. “Embarrassing.”

  “Thanks, Mitchell, but I’m not dating right now.”

  He nods slowly and drinks, peering at me from over the top of his glass. “The rock star’s an idiot.”

  “Which one? Most of my rock star clients are taxing.”

  “The one who presumably ditched you because you have a kid.”

  I gulp down the end of my drink. Please don’t, I’m trying not to think about Nate. I’ve already spent the evening on alert in case he’s here. “Nate? I knew what I was getting into there. I don’t blame him for my own stupidity.” I force a nonchalant smile.

  “Waste of space egomaniac,” he replies. “God, we have to deal with some jerks.”

  “Makes the job interesting.”

  “Ha! True.” Mitchell toasts me. “When you do start dating again, I guess I won’t be around anymore. I hope you find a guy worth your time.”

  “Thanks, Mitchell.”

  Speak of the devil. Nate Campbell passes with his brother and Fleur. The room could be in darkness and I’d still know I’m looking at Nate’s back. His familiar stride a step ahead of the others. His stance somehow makes him look taller than his brother, and the arms he once put around me are kept close to his sides, clearly saying do not touch me.

  The bloody beautiful man I fell in love with.

  My mouth dries and I shift so I’m obscured by Mitchell. Jax and Tegan appear too, and I swear beneath my breath as the stunning couple walk through a path cut for them as people step aside. I knew Tegan would be here, stunning in her little black dress with Jax on her arm, and I won’t ignore my friend, however much I’d rather avoid the others.

  No point paying attention to the rising hope Nate will talk to me because I bet he won’t be alone long, not when there’s a selection of attractive girls around.

  God, I wish I didn’t need to stay sober.

  37

  NATE

  I saw Riley. Of course. She organised the whole thing. I’m fucking stupid for coming tonight, but my switch failed to trip this time, and I can’t shut her out. I swung between staying away and hiding, or using this as the excuse I need.

  I have to speak to her.

  Two days ago, Riley walked into the middle of the storm raging through my world and pulled me into the eye, where she stood and held me. If I’d let her, Riley could’ve sheltered with me until everything calmed, but I chose to push my way back into the chaos alone.

  Six years for the words to spill, for somebody to hear everything I’ve tried to forget. The images of that time won’t leave again, each hurtful word, each stab to the heart; the confusion of the dumb kid who thought love was simple and would survive anything.

  Why am I surprised Riley broke through the thinnest part of the layers she’s gradually chipped away? I made the choice. I told her. I wanted Riley to know me, to understand why I’m so fucked up.

  Why? Because Riley drags me to sense, each time she refuses to accept the Nate who exists in the Ruby Riot world is all I am. I don’t need to be snowed in at a pub in Yorkshire to fall back into the man I thought I’d lost; if I’m with Riley, I’m already him.

  I’d cemented over the hole Charlotte left, and Riley exploded into my heart and blasted away the leaden weight I’d filled it with. But how can my heart cling to what my head doesn’t want?

  This shit is like Paris all over again, apart from this time I hurt
more. This time I want her so fucking bad. No, what I want is to be stuck with her somewhere nothing else can touch us, again.

  Rejecting the crappy cocktails, and approaches by dodgy chicks from TV, I move to a VIP area upstairs. I sink down in my seat and place my feet on the low metal table holding our drinks. I may as well be on my own. Nearby, Fleur quietly freaks out the way she does in every situation like this. I’ve no idea why she comes to them. Somehow, after over a year, her and Will remain at the sickly kissing and hands on each other all the time stage. At least Jax and Tegan have moved on from that, but even they constantly touch. None of them appears able to communicate with each other without skin-to-skin contact.

  Will holds Fleur’s hand and a weight swings through the air and slugs me in the stomach. I want Riley here. With me. I don’t want to sit here alone. The night at the party with Riley was the first time my discomfort about others’ scrutiny dropped for months. Here and now, I’m acutely aware of every look or word around me. Riley’s presence took the edge of the hyperawareness that accompanies my fame.

  Fame. Without Will, the spotlight hit me harder; I couldn’t hide behind the Campbell twins anymore. I hate it. Really fucking hate it. I’ve heard the rumours: Nate Campbell can’t cope with fame; has a secret drug habit; is having a breakdown… take your pick. Basically, I can’t be fucked with people and don’t want to do anything but play my music. Isn’t that what the guys and me wanted? So yeah, I’m less the joker and more the arrogant, unapproachable star these days, but life’s easier this way.

  Or it was.

  I don’t want a line of girls to fill my bed; I want what Jax and Will have. Somebody to be me with, who doesn’t take my shit; a girl who refuses to be anything but my equal.

  Why the hell does the girl who could take that role have a kid and make this impossible?

  Tegan settles next to me and studies me with her big, brown eyes over the cocktail glass as she drinks.

  “Riley’s here,” she says.

  “Really?” I say, voice laden with sarcasm.

  “Going to talk to her?”

  “Why?”

  Tegan looks straight ahead, away from me. “Because you’re miserable without her.” She sucks on her straw.

  “No, I’m not.”

  “That means you are.” She drops the straw from between her lips. “If you say you’re not.”

  “What the hell?”

  Tegan side glances me with a smile. “Plus, you came here tonight. You never come to events like this.”

  “Maybe it’s about time I started.”

  “Uh huh.”

  Her smug little smile raises my hackles. Jax appears and sits next to Tegan, and hugs her to him. “This is boring.”

  Tegan smacks him on the arm. “That’s not very supportive of Riley!”

  “Yeah, whatever. It’s very… sedate.” He sits back and shakes his fringe from his face, and swigs his beer.

  “At the moment,” I say and grab my glass of whisky. “Could be amusing later. Don’t get yourselves photographed, huh?”

  “I doubt we’ll stay long. Was gonna go on to District 9. You coming?” asks Jax.

  “I can’t be arsed with fighting any more press tonight. I’ll stick around those who’ll get more attention,” I reply. Tegan says something I don’t catch. “What?”

  “She said, ‘and Riley’,” replies Jax. “Spoken to her yet?”

  “Jesus, are we a bunch of teenagers?” I snap. “No.”

  “Should talk to her. So what if she has a kid? Not like she’s trying to trap you into the daddy role, she obviously prefers nobody involved,” replies Tegan. “Besides, he’s a nice kid.”

  “You’ve met him?”

  “Yep.” She smiles. “You should too.”

  “I did. Briefly.” I look the other way. Maybe Tegan’s right. Riley and me could keep some kind of arrangement going. I shake my head. Sure, Nate. Guys shouldn’t walk into a kid’s life if they don’t intend to stick around.

  “What you talking about?” asks Will, as he slings an arm across the bench seat and leans in.

  “Nate and Riley,” replies Tegan. “We reckon he should talk to her.”

  I grit my teeth. “Keep out of this,” I warn my brother.

  “Yeah, already told you my opinion. Everybody has baggage, big brother. At least you know what hers is now.” He flicks his fingers. “Did you tell her yours?”

  The claustrophobia of their focus is too much and I stand. “I’m hungry.” I catch Will’s eye as I walk away and don’t miss the challenge in them. I told Riley secrets I’ve never told him, and that says a hell of a lot.

  I lean against the metal edge of the balcony and peer into the crowds below. There’re people down there who I’d watch on TV years ago, when they were more well-known than me. Now look. Will I ever get used to being famous? Two crazy years and I’m one step above them, up here on my celebrity laurels.

  I sip my whisky as I scout the room and spot who I want. Riley. Does she realise how fucking hot she looks in that dress clinging to her curves? My vantage point gives me an awesome view of her ass, her slender back, and the long neck I’d kiss the length of on my way to every delicious inch of her. The few times I’ve seen Riley tonight, she’s flitted from person to person, attempting to keep her cool. The earring touching and neck rubbing I recognised as stress. I know this girl better than she thinks.

  This is the first time I’ve spotted Riley standing still, not weaving through people. I’ve overheard others voicing how impressed they are with the organisation of the event, mentioning Riley by name, and pride warms my chest as I watch her.

  Why am I such a fucking idiot when it comes to this woman?

  I pull myself away from the metal bar and head to the stairs. Riley steps to one side and reveals the person she’s with.

  The smarmy Yank. Hand on her arm, eyes on hers, and she isn’t stopping him. Again. See, that’s the other crazy thing. I think I’m God’s fucking gift and delude myself Riley wouldn’t dare look at another guy because she dreams of and can’t imagine life without me. Worse, I refused to consider another guy could be interested in her.

  This isn’t the uptight girl who pissed me off; I know her as the girl I laughed with and spent hours naked with. And began to fall in love with. Why am I surprised somebody else wants her? She’s a bloody amazing woman.

  I convinced myself the jealousy biting the last time Mitchell had his hands on Riley was sexual. Wrong. I’m here and flooded with the need for her attention instead. Need for every last part of the Riley who fills the unhappy emptiness I refused to admit existed.

  But, I have no right over her body or heart anymore, and I fooled myself I ever did.

  I hang around the edge of the crowd, making polite conversation where unavoidable, all the while analysing every interaction between Riley and Mitchell. Others approach them too and, being the professionals they are, they elicit smiles and laughs from everybody.

  Does Riley touch Mitchell? Hold his gaze? His borderline caressing grows more frequent as does my impetus to walk over there.

  I back into the corner, where people pass and don’t linger, and bide my time.

  Riley walks through the crowd to the back of the room and the double-doors leading out of the venue to a different part of the hotel. I squeeze around bodies and follow. In the brightly lit, tiled hallway, Riley rests against the wall, one high-heeled shoe in her hand as she rubs the sole of her foot with the other. Her eyes are closed and strands of her carefully styled hair escape and touch her parted lips. Those shoes must really hurt if that’s the pleasure she gets from taking one off.

  Dropping the shoe to the floor, Riley opens her eyes and they widen when she sees me. “Nate.”

  “Hey.”

  Hands in my suit jacket pockets, I rest against the wall and Riley runs a gaze over me. I raise a brow and she tips her head. “This is black tie, Nate, not black shirt and no tie.”

  “Close as I get. Like anybody cou
ld stop me walking in.”

  “I could’ve. If I wanted, I could get you ejected for not meeting the dress code.” With a small smile, she indicates my Converse. “Your brother managed to put a full suit on; you’re halfway there with the jacket.”

  “He has a nagging girl. I do what the hell I like.”

  “As always.” Riley slips her foot into the shoe. “Why did you come tonight? You avoid celebrity events like this.”

  She steps back as I pull myself away from the wall and edge towards her. “Because I knew you’d be here. Saving face, y’know. I didn’t have to call and ask you to meet me.”

  Nothing’s changed although everything has. Hurt hides in Riley’s eyes and guilt hits me. My own pain kept me away, and her secret forces me to face my own or lose her. I was one stupid decision away from taking this smart, sexy girl who held her heart behind adamantine walls.

  “What did you want, Nate?”

  “To talk to you.”

  “I’m busy.” Riley’s shaking hands betray her. The work excuse as always.

  “Please.” Her surprise at my politeness amuses me, and I smile at her.

  A couple pass, the girl’s heels clicking along the grey tiles, as they head to the elevator. Riley angles her body away from them. “Why didn’t you call me after what happened the other day?” she asks, voice almost a whisper.

  “Because I’m an asshole.”

  “And now?”

  “I saw you tonight and realised I couldn’t leave things how they are.”

  “You told me to leave when I saw you last. You ended this.”

  “I’m an asshole,” I repeat.

  “That doesn’t get to be your answer to everything, Nate. I need more than that.”

  “So do I, Riley.”

  Her mouth parts in readiness to reply, but Riley’s phone rings. She turns her body away from me as she answers.

  “Hey, Mum. Everything okay? How was Josh tonight?”

  Hard eyes meet mine and I hold them. Nice try, Riley, but I’m not going anywhere. I rest back against the wall and stretch my legs out.

  “Really well, thank you.” The stressed lines of the last few minutes are replaced with a huge smile, eyes shining with pride. “I’m tired though, long day.”