The_Secret Soldier

by Jennifer Morey

“Yes.”

  “Anything I ask?”

  “Yes.”

  “All right. Why did you ask Cullen to rescue me?” Let’s see how far he’d go with that one. She sent him a smug look.

  Noah frowned his aggravation. Clearly, he knew where this was headed—somewhere Cullen couldn’t, or wouldn’t, want to go.

  “It’s okay,” Cullen said. “I’ll tell her.”

  Those gray eyes touched her, reaching past her surprise with purpose and certainty.

  “Noah saved my life,” he said, his voice warming her, the essence of him in it, strong and steady, full of honor and integrity. This was the man who’d rescued her, who’d held her in that helicopter and again in the pension on a little Greek island.

  “You did it because you felt you owed him?” she had to force herself to ask.

  “I was on a mission in Liberia. There were rebels rising against the government. They were part of a coup to overthrow the country’s leader. My team was sent to take out a separate group of terrorists hiding there. What we didn’t know was the Liberian government had hired Noah to send men to help fight the rebels. We were in a bad location, outnumbered and trapped by the rebels. Noah sent his team in to help us. If it hadn’t been for that, everyone on my team, including me, wouldn’t have made it.”

  She looked at her father. “So you cashed in on a favor?”

  “Cullen is the only man I know who could do a mission like that,” Noah said. “I wouldn’t have asked if I’d had any other choice. And because Cullen is a man of honor, he agreed.”

  The fact that he chose that particular word knocked Sabine off balance. In everything Cullen did, honor drove him. But that honor didn’t include her. Not beyond her rescue. How could she feel so much for a man who so resembled the kind she’d vowed never to love?

  Love?

  Panic billowed inside her. Where had that come from?

  She found Cullen’s eyes, saw the vitality that was becoming so familiar to her, a strength of character so few men possessed. It pushed her further off her axis.

  “Do you work for Noah?” she asked, needing him to say it, to confirm it. “At all? Have you ever?”

  “No.”

  “Who do you work for, then?”

  He just looked at her.

  “He can’t tell you, Sabine. It’s better you don’t know, anyway.”

  She didn’t acknowledge her father when he spoke, just held Cullen’s gaze. “You lied to me when I asked you if my father sent you.”

  “I knew you were estranged from him.”

  “So you’d do anything, say anything, to get me to London, is that it?”

  “To bring Noah’s daughter to him alive? Yes, I would have done anything, said anything, to accomplish that.”

  The passion in his voice stopped her. Told her just how much his mission had mattered to him. More than she ever would. It crushed her. She felt the first sign of tears burning in her eyes and willed them away. No way could she cry now.

  “All I can tell you is I’m a reservist,” he said, a small crumb to placate what must be written all over her face. What a fool she’d been, falling for him like a lovesick teenager.

  “What’s your full-time job?” she asked, tossing it at him.

  Defeat weighed the energy in his eyes. He couldn’t tell her. She already knew he wouldn’t.

  Secrets were going to hurt her again. Just as they always had. Secrets had kept her from knowing the father she’d always longed to know, and secrets would keep her from knowing Cullen. What really stung was she wanted to know him. More than any other man she’d ever met. But nothing would move him to let her.

  Putting her napkin onto the table, unable to take any more, she pushed her chair back and stood. “I want to go home now.”

  Now more than ever she understood why her defenses were so sharp. It was a layer of protection, something Afghanistan had stripped away, leaving bare the girl who yearned for a man to love her regardless of her achievements. The achievements were only a pretense. The girl underneath was real. Cullen had seen that girl after rescuing her. But it hadn’t been enough. Like always, it was never enough.

  After a stiff farewell to Noah and her mother, Sabine clutched her coat to her as Cullen drove down the mountain. She felt exposed. More unwanted than ever.

  The truck stopped and Sabine saw that he’d parked behind his building. She opened the truck door and stepped down. The gravel seemed harder to navigate in high heels now that she didn’t have her verve. All she wanted to do was go home and be alone. Anywhere as long as it was away from Cullen.

  Heavier footfalls warned her he followed. She closed her eyes and leaned her head back, coming to a stop. There was no way she could outrun him in these shoes. Lord, how she didn’t want to confront him right now.

  “Sabine.” He touched her arm with his hand as he came around to face her. She opened her eyes as he said, “I’m sorry.”

  Coldness gave her strength. She stepped back, out of his reach. “You’re sorry.”

  “Yes.”

  Though his eyes revealed the truth behind the statement, she remained indifferent. “About what, Cullen? About who you are?”

  “No.”

  “What, then?”

  “You don’t know what it would cost me.”

  “To trust me?”

  “I trust you. I just…you don’t understand.” He averted his gaze.

  She bristled that he was so adamant about protecting his career. “You risk your life doing what you do. And for what? To be like Noah Page?” It went deeper than that, but right now she wanted to lash out at him.

  “I’m nothing like Noah.”

  “That’s not what I see. I see a man who holds his secrets dearer than the people around him. Noah does that. He did it to my mother. And me.”

  “Sabine.” He moved closer and put his hands just above her elbows.

  She saw the first sign of deeper emotion creep into his eyes. Though she braced herself, the heat of him seeped through her resolve. She took another step back, once again out of his reach. “I want you to leave Roaring Creek.”

  “I can’t do that.”

  The way he said it told her he meant it. Despair swirled inside her. How much longer would her resistance to him last? How much longer before he broke her heart? She started walking toward the side of his building. Before she reached the street, he stopped her, pulling her around to face him.

  “This isn’t over yet,” he said. “Someone is still trying to kill you.”

  “For you and me it’s over. I don’t need you to fight my battles for me.” She pulled her arm free, stepped away and turned to walk briskly into the street. Didn’t he see that she had to preserve herself? She needed a man who’d be there for her no matter what. She could not compromise on that. And Cullen was not that man.

  His hand curled over her upper arm and forced her to slow. A tug made her fight for balance. She came against him in the middle of the street.

  “I’m not leaving,” he said gruffly.

  “You’ve repaid your debt to my father. Go home. Go anywhere but near me.”

  “Damn it, Sabine.” His hands slid up her arms and came to rest on the balls of her shoulders.

  She put her hands on his chest. Feeling the hard muscle underneath, a flash of desperation rocked her. “Please, Cullen, don’t make this harder than it already is.” Emotion broke in her voice, all the desire she felt for him coming out, and the fear that she wouldn’t be able to fight it much longer. She wanted to shut her eyes to the anguish in his.

  “I can’t,” he said with equal emotion. “I can’t leave you like this.”

  She did close her eyes then, overwhelmed by feelings more powerful than her will. His hands slid to her waist and he moved closer. She pressed her body against his, seeking to envelop herself in the invisible bond keeping them together.

  He let his forehead rest against hers, and she stared up at his eyes, blurred so close to her own. She heard his breath
ing and realized she was breathless, too. He kissed her. Once. Twice. She wrapped her arms around his neck. He slid his hand to the small of her back and pulled her firmer to him. With his other hand, he cupped her head and kissed her deeper. From there this thing between them erupted. She strained to get more of him. He strained back. But it wasn’t enough. She tipped her head back as his mouth planted wet, fevered kisses down her neck.

  He lifted his head. Sabine opened her eyes to the ravaging hunger in his and knew she was falling hopelessly in love with him.

  “Cullen,” she breathed, wishing the thought had never come.

  Hearing a sound, she felt him go still. He looked down the street. She followed his cooling gaze. A man stood twenty feet from them…holding a camera. He was snapping pictures of them. Cullen was facing the lens dead-on.

  Cullen swore, pushing her away.

  He stormed toward the reporter, who lowered his camera, then turned and ran. Minivan Man. At his minivan, he leaped inside, slammed the door and then the lock. Cullen tried to open the minivan’s door, but it didn’t budge. The reporter revved the engine, and the minivan rolled down the street toward Sabine. She turned as it passed by her.

  Glancing at Cullen, she saw that he hadn’t moved from where he stood in the street. It was hard for her to pity him when she had no idea what he was afraid the press would reveal about him. Knowing there was nothing she could say or do to make a difference, she walked toward her bookstore. Inside, she made her way upstairs, leaving the doors unlocked.

  Several moments later she heard Cullen follow. The door to her apartment opened and she waited for his rage. But it never came. Instead of anger, she saw disbelief.

  Closing the door behind him, he moved into her living room, where he sat on her sofa and bent forward to put his face in his hands.

  Sabine relented and took pity on him. “You should leave town. Tonight. Now.”

  He didn’t move.

  “There will be more reporters by morning,” she said.

  “It won’t matter,” he answered, dropping his hands. “The damage is done.”

  “But—”

  “It will only be a matter of time now.”

  Hearing the note of hopelessness in his tone, she lowered her eyes. She resented his secrets but she never meant to cause him pain. “I’m sorry.”

  She raised her eyes in time to see his gaze take in the bodice of her black dress, then travel lower before coming back to her face, his disgust with himself plain for her to see. It arrowed into the deepest regions of her heart.

  Turning before he saw something she didn’t want him to, she left him alone and went to her bedroom. She took her time changing into lounge pants and a matching shirt. Hearing him talk on the phone, she reluctantly went back to the main room.

  “I’m sorry to call so late,” he was saying as she came to a stop near the kitchen table. “I’m all right—” Whoever was on the other end of the connection must have cut him off. “Just listen, Odie. A Commander Birch will probably be calling sometime tomorrow. When he does, I need you to give him a number where he can reach me.” He gave the person named Odie Sabine’s phone number.

  After a pause he said, “You’ll know when you watch the news in the morning.” Another pause. “Just give him the number. And if anyone asks you about SCS, tell them you have no comment.” Sabine couldn’t tell if the person named Odie was talking.

  When he disconnected, he turned and saw Sabine standing there. She felt uncomfortable, as though she’d pried into his personal affairs. Then she caught herself putting his feelings ahead of her own. If the media exposed him, it wasn’t her fault. Besides, she wanted to know what they’d have to say and it was the only way she’d find out. Cullen wouldn’t tell her.

  Since early that morning, Cullen had been watching the news, waiting for the break to come when someone figured out who he was. He found meager satisfaction that they weren’t having an easy time of it. What really gnawed at him, though, was how the mystery heightened public fascination over his alleged romance with Sabine.

  A sound made him look toward the hall. Sabine appeared, dressed in jeans and a white turtleneck sweater. The fact that the sight of her still stirred his desire annoyed him to no end. He knew what was underneath that sweater and inside those jeans. It was the candy that made him careless enough to send his entire life into chaos.

  She moved farther into the room. Sweet candy. Irresistible sugar to his senses. His temper simmered hotter—at himself, not her. For letting her get to him the way she did.

  He watched her fold her arms as she moved closer to the television. She looked tentative and he wondered if she was curious of what the news would reveal about him. When she saw there was a commercial playing, she turned and went into the kitchen.

  He listened to her pour a cup of coffee from the pot he’d just brewed. Moments later a local news break began. Sabine came into the living room, sending him a wary but stoic glance.

  Pretty soon she’d know everything. He wasn’t sure how he felt about that. Angry with himself, for sure. Disconcerted. Maybe even a little nervous.

  “Little is known about the man who rescued Sabine O’Clery from what appears to be terrorists in Afghanistan,” the anchorwoman began, “but one thing is clear—he’s resurfaced in Roaring Creek, Colorado, O’Clery’s remote mountain hometown.”

  A picture of Cullen looking right at the camera appeared on the screen.

  “Aside from photographs and O’Clery’s claim he’s from the United States, her rescuer’s identity remains a closely guarded secret. Sources from the U.S. military continue to deny any involvement in O’Clery’s rescue, and her father insists the man shown in this photo doesn’t work for his private military firm, credited with arranging the mission.

  “So who is this man who saved Sabine O’Clery’s life?” The anchorwoman smiled. “Nobody seems to know.”

  Another photo appeared, this one of Cullen and Sabine kissing in the middle of the street.

  “But whoever he is, the romance that started on a Greek island hasn’t cooled. Is it love? And the question on everyone’s mind—has O’Clery’s rescuer resurfaced in response to her recent attack? George, can you tell us more?”

  A live view of the reporter who’d photographed Cullen appeared on the screen.

  “I saw Sabine O’Clery’s rescuer come out from behind that building.” The camera moved to show the building where Cullen had stayed. “Which is right across the street from O’Clery’s bookstore.” The camera returned to Minivan Man. “It isn’t confirmed yet, but we think he’s living there.”

  Cullen stood and went to the window to peer outside. He spotted Minivan Man in front of a camera and wanted to clamp his hands around the reporter’s scrawny neck.

  “As soon as he realized I was taking pictures of him, he came after me. I ran to my vehicle and barely had time to close and lock my door before he reached me. For a while there I thought he was going to tear the door off to get at me.” The man laughed as though in awe and shook his head. “Wouldn’t want to mess with that fellow. Not only was he mad, he looked like he could take down a tree with his bare hands. More than capable of rescuing a woman from a country like Afghanistan….”

  Cullen smirked through the window.

  Sabine’s telephone rang. He spun in time to see her go to answer it. He strode toward the telephone. When she lifted the handset, he took it from her.

  “Yeah.”

  “I’m looking at your face on television.”

  Cullen closed his eyes. It was the call he’d been dreading yet desperately hoping would never come. Tyler Birch. His army commander. Cullen gripped the phone tighter.

  “Tell me you aren’t the man who rescued Sabine O’Clery in Afghanistan. Tell me I’m mistaken.”

  Cullen didn’t say anything. He opened his eyes and found himself looking at Sabine. He resented the sympathy he saw.

  He didn’t waste time or words. “You’re not mistaken.”

 
Birch cursed vividly three times. “What the hell is the matter with you? Does your duty mean nothing to you?”

  “It means everything to me.”

  “Your actions don’t show me that.”

  Arguing would only make this worse. Cullen said nothing.

  “You’ve embarrassed me,” Birch said. “And you’ve embarrassed the army. How do you expect us to answer questions from the press? One of our own carried out a mission in an unstable country without our knowledge. How do you think that makes us look?”

  “I rescued a civilian.”

  “Yeah, and I’d like to know how. Where did you find the resources?”

  Cullen couldn’t answer that. Telling Birch his company was only a guise for something much bigger would jeopardize key people in the government who could not be exposed. If he had any hope of salvaging anything of his career, he had to play this very carefully. He hated the prospect of losing his position with the army, but if he had to, he would.

  “Can’t tell me, huh?” Birch said, anger growing in his tone. “Who’s in on it with you? More of our own?” Birch laughed without humor. “That company of yours always did make me wonder. What are you hiding, McQueen?”

  “I never intended to put you in a compromising position,” he said, unable to say more.

  A long silence carried over the line. “When I found out it was you kissing Sabine O’Clery at the London airport, I couldn’t believe it. I thought the man in that photo looked familiar, but I didn’t think you were stupid enough to do something like that.”

  Cullen felt himself go numb as he continued to look at Sabine. “I saved her life, sir.”

  “Don’t you ‘sir’ me. What do you want? A medal?”

  “She would have been killed if I hadn’t done it.”

  “That doesn’t change a thing. You went in there on your own, without army authorization. If you were more than a reservist, I’d court martial you.”

  “I didn’t do anything wrong.”

  “Did you kill anyone while you were over there?”

  Cullen didn’t answer, because he had.