The_Secret Soldier

by Jennifer Morey

  Cullen collapsed on top of her, his head resting beside hers. She trailed her hands down his back, letting them lie on his waist while they both caught their breath, never more at peace. Certain for the first time that no matter where this led, no matter what happened between them, she would never have any regrets.

  Chapter 12

  Sometime during the night Sabine woke to Cullen stirring. She moaned, remembering the afternoon they’d shared, most of it right here on this bed. Realizing he wasn’t in bed with her anymore, she lifted her head and blinked her vision clear. Through the darkness she watched him shove his pistol into the holster strapped to him. He was dressed in black again. Alarm jarred her fully awake.

  She sat up on the bed. “Cullen?”

  He looked at her in that way of his. The soldier going out for a kill.

  “Where are you going?” Of course, she already knew. But after what had transpired between them, she didn’t want him to go anywhere. What if something happened to him? What if he was killed?

  “Stay here, Sabine,” he said, his eyes willing her to heed him.

  “Don’t go,” she said.

  He turned and moved toward the hall.

  “Cullen.” She couldn’t stay here imagining him killing a man. Methodically. Intentionally. Choosing that over her. His mission. This is what he did. No. Her heart wrenched with a painful lurch.

  “Please.” If he left without acknowledging the way she felt, he’d lose her. She wouldn’t compromise herself after this. It was time to take action where he was concerned. He either had to show her how much she meant to him or let her go.

  Stopping at the threshold of the hall, he put his hand on the wall and turned his head to look at her. Seconds passed and then he dropped his hand, turning to face her.

  “Sabine…”

  “Don’t go, Cullen.” She shook her head. “Not tonight.”

  Even as he sighed, his eyes softened. Then warmed as he took in the sight of her naked above the blankets. He strode slowly to the side of the bed. Leaning over, he braced his hands on the mattress and brought his face close to hers.

  “I have to do this,” he said. “Odie called. I know where to find Lowe now. I have to go before I lose the chance.”

  She curled her fingers around the strap of his holster. “Don’t, Cullen. If I matter to you at all, don’t go.”

  His mouth formed a hard line with the pitch of his brow. “What do you want me to do? Let him live so he can come after you again?”

  “This has nothing to do with Lowe. This has to do with you and me.”

  Cullen lifted his hand and cupped the side of her face. “I have to end it, Sabine.”

  She put her hand over his. “Not like this.” Didn’t he see? He would have sneaked out into the night without telling her where he was going. When he was on a mission, he tried too hard to shut her out of his mind. Well, this time she wouldn’t let him. She wanted him to acknowledge his feelings for her—and hers for him. Just once.

  As he stared at her, she could see him beginning to waver.

  “Don’t leave.” She turned her face to kiss his palm. “Don’t leave me.”

  A heavy breath sighed out of him, and he kneeled on the bed beside her. Taking her face in both hands, he kissed her. Sabine felt his heart in the way he moved his mouth over hers.

  Stretching out beside her, he pulled her close and did as she asked. He stayed.

  She slept. Content and warm. In the morning she woke to something hard digging into her ribs. She opened her eyes. Her hand rested on the rough material of Cullen’s black top. The hard object was his gun. Raising her head, she saw that his eyes were still closed. His arm was around her, his hand over her hip. Her leg was between his.

  He stayed.

  Sabine studied his face while the meaning of that soaked through her, drenching her heart with love. His long dark lashes lay beneath his eyes and stubble colored his skin. His lips were soft with sleep.

  She’d asked him to stay and he had. He’d chosen her over his mission.

  She moved up and pressed her lips to his. Breath from his nose warmed her skin. His arm around her tightened. She rolled on top of him to avoid his gun. Straddling his hips, she smiled at the heat that grew in his sleepy eyes as he woke.

  Leaning over, she kissed him. His hand came to the back of her head and held her there. She pulled back and crawled down his body. She kissed his stomach through his clothes then boldly kissed the hard bulge in his pants, taking her time there, dragging her tongue over the material that blocked her from him. She raised her eyes and saw that he’d lifted his head off the pillow to watch her. His features were fierce with desire.

  She smiled at him and climbed off the bed.

  “Where are you going?” he asked gruffly.

  She laughed lightly. “I want to go shopping.”

  He sat up on the bed, quick as a big cat, and took her wrist. “Later.”

  Hooking her with his arm, he pulled her onto her back and rolled on top of her. He rose up on his knees and shrugged out of his gun holster. It thudded on the floor.

  Sabine reached up and grabbed the black material of his shirt, pulling him down to her. He kissed her, smoothing her hair back from her face.

  “See what you do to me,” he rasped.

  “Yes.” She smiled against his mouth.

  He chuckled, deeply and manly, vibrating against her stomach and chest. His laughter faded as he shifted his hips, the black material of his pants brushing against her bareness. She reached between their bodies and tugged at the button. It loosened while she looked up at him, into gray eyes full of an emotion she knew he wasn’t ready to name. His breath rushed out and he took over the task, yanking his pants down over his hips. He kissed her and found her at the same time, every hard inch shoving into her wetness.

  Sabine ran her hands over the black material of his shirt, reveling in the feel of hard muscle underneath. She continued over his shoulders and down to his chest. All the while he moved inside her, hard but slow. She closed her teeth over the muscle of his forearm through the material of his shirt as an incredible celebration of love burst between them.

  Sabine walked beside Cullen on their way to dinner, worried by his mood. He seemed disturbed. While emotion burgeoned inside her, pushing to come out in words she longed to say, a wall seemed to be growing inside him. He’d chosen her over his mission, but he wasn’t ready to call what they made together love. They’d spent the morning in bed and the afternoon shopping. No mention of Casey Lowe had been made, though Cullen carried his gun with him, hidden in his boot.

  Passing the Paramount Cafe, Sabine heard ’80s music and stopped to listen. People sat on a patio, in front of the old stone architecture of what once was the Paramount Theatre.

  Cullen took her hand and led her to a table, and they ordered a light dinner. The old charm of the building relaxed her. After their dishes were cleared away and Cullen paid, he pushed back his chair and stood. Extending his hand, he said, “Let’s go back to the hotel.”

  She knew what he’d do once he got there. Prepare to find Lowe. She couldn’t explain her disappointment. Maybe somewhere deep inside she knew once he killed Lowe, his mission would be over, and so would they. Even after what they shared.

  “I need to find a bathroom first,” she said. The hotel was a long walk, and she didn’t think she could wait.

  He let her go. Down a hallway of terrazzo tile, she found a bathroom and went inside. She relieved herself, then bent over the sink after washing her hands to splash cool water on her face. Shutting off the water, she dried her face and hands and left the bathroom.

  As soon as she entered the dim hall, she saw a flash of metal before something hard slammed against her head. Then everything went black.

  Cullen stood near the edge of the patio where several people talked and laughed over dinner. The feelings swimming around in him made him edgy. He was so lost in Sabine he wondered if he’d ever be able to think coherently again.
The media had destroyed his company and may have cost him his career with the army. His life was in chaos. Yet, all he could think about was her.

  How had he come to feel so much for her? He didn’t want to love her. Or was it too late?

  Cullen felt the shock of the thought ripple through him. Did he love her? The intensity of their lovemaking said a lot to that end. Panic rushed him. No. He didn’t love her. Not like that. He couldn’t. He checked his watch as he paced in front of the building. What was taking her so long?

  Suddenly, he froze. Jerking his head toward the building, he looked at the door Sabine had entered.

  “No.” He ran inside.

  He searched for her but couldn’t find her in the crowd. He hurried down a hall that was disturbingly dim and pushed the door to the women’s restroom open. All the stalls were empty. No one was in the bathroom.

  His heart slammed in his chest and his breathing grew erratic.

  Back in the hall, he looked for another exit and found a door. Pushing through, he found himself in an alley. It was empty of people.

  “Oh, God,” he panted, running the opposite direction of 16th Street until he emerged in a parking lot.

  Where had Lowe taken her? Cullen could only guess. He’d been so besotted with her, so caught up with the way she made him feel that he’d forgotten the danger.

  Pulling his gun from his boot, his hands trembled as he flipped off the safety. This was like no other mission he’d experienced. He was scared. Really scared. Sabine…

  What if she was already dead? He felt sick with the possibility. Lowe had no reason to wait to kill her.

  “I can’t lose her.” His mind became a kaleidoscope of dread. If she died, it would kill him. Never before had he felt closer to knowing the agony that had destroyed his father.

  Think.

  The money. Maybe Lowe wouldn’t kill her until he got Aden’s share of the money. He clung to that thought as he ran to The Curtis. A car screeched around the corner behind him. When it passed, he spotted the driver. Blond hair.

  Cullen started looking for a car to use.

  Sabine drifted out of unconsciousness and opened her eyes to darkness. The sound of tires over a dirt road told her she was in a car. In the trunk of a car, suffocating and eerily familiar. Instantly she was back in Afghanistan. In her dark cell. Alone. Waiting to die.

  Her heart pounded so hard she felt her pulse in her ears. Her frightened breaths surrounded her. Fear overwhelmed her, an otherworldly vapor that threatened to choke the strength out of her.

  She squeezed her eyes shut. Stop, she ordered herself. Stop it! Fear would be her only adversary if she allowed it. She had a choice whether to give into fear or not.

  Opening her eyes, she tried to see around her. It was too dark. She felt with her hands for some kind of weapon. There was nothing in the trunk.

  The car came to a halt. Her heart raced faster. It was okay if it raced. She needed it to race. It was the fear she had to control.

  Sabine adjusted her legs and mentally prepared herself to attack as soon as the trunk opened. The engine turned off and she listened to the car door open and close. Footsteps grew closer. A key slid into the lock. Turned. The trunk began to open.

  Sabine pushed upward with her back, sending the trunk springing the rest of the way open. Lowe raised the gun. She registered his blond hair and glacial-blue eyes before she rammed her palm against his big nose. She recognized him from Samuel’s picture.

  Lowe stumbled back, holding his nose. Sabine jumped out of the trunk and ran. In the distance, cars moved along a busy street. Between that and her, an old farmhouse with dark windows stood perched on the bed of a truck, ready to be moved.

  Lowe’s gun exploded. He missed. She heard the bullet strike the ground far off its mark. She made it around to the other side of the truck before more bullets pinged against metal and wood. Peering around the back of the truck, she watched Lowe tread toward her. Looking up at the farmhouse on top of the truck, she spotted an open window. Climbing up onto the flatbed, seeing Lowe raise his gun and take aim, she hurried to pull herself over the windowsill.

  She jerked as a bullet splintered the trim to her left, but she fell inside the house unharmed. Scrambling to her feet, she ran through a badly run-down bedroom, down a hall and into the front of the house. The front door was open a crack, but Lowe hadn’t come inside yet. She heard something in the rear of the house. Her heart beat as fast as bird wings. She tried to quiet her breathing and looked for something to use as a weapon.

  Cullen drove the Sebring he’d stolen onto a deserted road that connected to a busier one that led to Tower Road and Denver International Airport. By some miracle he’d managed to keep Lowe’s car in sight. He’d gotten lucky, catching up to him after stealing the car.

  Lowe had parked his car near an old farmhouse supported on the back of a truck. The trunk of the car was open, but there was no sign of Lowe. No sign of Sabine, either.

  Cullen had to fight the dread electrifying his senses, force himself to remember he was trained for this.

  Getting out of the Sebring, he ran toward Lowe’s car. He searched his surroundings. Bare, flat ground. The house on a truck. Nothing moved. Lowe must have taken her into the farmhouse.

  Holding his gun ready, he peered into the trunk. It was empty. Closing his eyes briefly, breathing through the light-headedness of relief that he hadn’t found Sabine’s body there, he moved toward the house.

  Stay focused. Find Sabine. Kill Lowe.

  At the front of the truck, behind the cab, he climbed onto the house’s covered porch. The door was open a crack, and he could hear the sound of a struggle. He pushed the door open, aiming his weapon inside, wishing he had night-vision gear. Stepping inside, he moved to the end of the entry wall and carefully peered around it. In a badly maintained kitchen, Sabine swung a piece of floorboard trim at Lowe. Lowe blocked it and knocked it from her hands. It fell to the floor with a clatter. Cullen stepped into the open the same instant Lowe saw him. Instantly Lowe hooked his arm around Sabine’s neck, hauling her against him and putting a pistol to her head. Sabine clawed at the arm that held her, her eyes seeing Cullen and staying on him with a silent plea.

  Cullen’s breath stopped and his heart felt near to doing the same. Stay focused.

  He aimed for Lowe’s head.

  “Drop the gun or she’s dead,” Lowe said.

  “Let her go.”

  Lowe shook his head, his eyes filling with anger. “I’ve about had it with you. Drop it now or I’ll kill her.”

  Don’t hesitate, Cullen told himself. Shoot. He wouldn’t miss. He never missed. Not at this range.

  “He wanted you to follow us here, Cullen,” Sabine said.

  Lowe gave her a jerk and tightened his hold. “Quiet!” To Cullen he repeated, “Drop the gun.”

  Sabine’s warning dropped inside him. Lowe planned to lure him here to kill them both. Perhaps he thought he could eliminate everyone who could expose him to Isma’il’s friend. He met Sabine’s eyes. She nodded once, a subtle reassurance. Even frightened, her eyes beamed her will. She trusted him.

  He returned his attention to his aim. It hadn’t moved. Sabine closed her eyes and dropped her weight. Lowe started to adjust his hold on her. Cullen fired three times in rapid succession.

  Lowe’s body crumpled to the floor, his head hitting a dirty white cabinet door, lolling until it went still, a stream of blood trailing from three holes in his forehead. The gun thudded to rest a few feet from his hand.

  Sabine crawled backward until she came against Cullen’s calves. Flipping the safety on his gun, he stuffed it in his boot and bent to slip his arms under hers, pulling her to her feet. She turned and threw her arms around him. He held her, burying his face in her hair, smelling her, feeling her tremble despite her bravery. He closed his eyes to the sensation of her alive in his arms. Safe. Once and for all.

  “You’re safe now,” he said, swallowing because his heart was still pounding fr
om the fear that had ripped through him.

  He felt her relax against him. Her breathing slowed.

  “I thought I lost you,” he confessed, because it was so overwhelmingly true.

  She leaned back, eyes red and face moist from tears. He watched his meaning take hold in her eyes. “You didn’t.”

  “Yeah, but I thought I did, I was so…so…” Afraid. It appalled him to know what losing her could do to him. Shred his soul. Incapacitate him. Reduce him to a shaking mess of a man.

  “You didn’t lose me,” she insisted.

  He never wanted to feel like this again.

  Chapter 13

  Watching the landscape pass by the window of Cullen’s rental car, Sabine’s head pounded and it felt as if there was a heavy fog in her head. She had a slight concussion from being struck on the head by Lowe. But that was easy to ignore with Cullen’s silence on the ride home from Denver.

  They’d had to stay and talk to the police. They were probably only free to go because of Cullen’s connections. It had still taken a few hours. She was tired…but mostly because of Cullen.

  Did he think she hadn’t noticed how his fear had driven him to withdraw? He had a glimpse of what it would feel like to lose her, so now he’d remove himself from the possibility of it ever happening again. Maybe he didn’t want her to know how his fear had weakened him. Maybe it made him feel like less of a man to know he was capable of feeling so much for another person. Part of her took heart that he did, in fact, feel that much for her, but mostly she was disappointed. And mad.

  She knew what was going to happen as soon as they arrived at her bookstore. He was going to leave.

  Ironic, that she’d placed so much significance on his choosing her over his mission when that had never been the thing that would keep them apart. Watching his father ruin his life to alcoholism over a woman had made an irreversible imprint in his subconscious. It seemed they had that in common, although she was closer to resolving things with her father than he with his. The thought caught her unguarded. Was she ready to forgive her father? Maybe not quite, but in time she might. He wasn’t the way she remembered, and in her heart she knew he was sincere in his desire to know her.