Epocalypse: Inception.

by G. Adler

  He steps over to the grate and puts his finger on the metal. He immediately pulls it back as the sizzle of electricity sounds in the air. He pops it in his mouth and licks it for a few seconds while eyeing the grate once more.

  “Well THAT was nasty! I’m afraid that this calls for the old ‘rub and tug’!”

  “I beg your pardon?” I ask.

  Ethan pulls out a few vials of chemicals from inside his jacket and mixes them up. He pours them over his hands and rubs them together. He then holds them out to Maya and says, “Blow me… for luck!”

  Maya rolls her eyes but gives in.

  The moment her breath touches his hands, there is a crackle and hiss. Steam comes off his hands and he says, “Now we’re smokin’!”

  Seconds later and the smoke clears. When I look at his hands, I gasp. They are now encased in what looks like rock. He kisses each of his palms and then grabs the grate with both hands. Sparks fly throughout the space and I have to look away.

  “Ethan? Talk to me! You okay!”

  “Iiiiiiiitttttttt tttttiiiinnnnngggggglllllleeessssss iiiinnnnn mmmmmyyyyyy nnnnnnuuuuuuttttttttssssssss…..” he laughs.

  The sparks stop in a final crescendo and Ethan is left with a huge grin on his face. The rock layer around his hands crumbles away, showing his perfectly unscathed hands. He then taps the top of the grate once more but nothing happens.

  “Perfecto! Now for the tug!”

  He then mixes up a new concoction into an eyedropper. He places a tiny spot of the liquid on each bolt, causing them to dissolve away as if they were made of wet toilet paper. Seconds later and the grate clatters to the floor.

  Ethan stares down the dark chasm and says, “You know, if we’re going to do this, we should take out the fire hose and let it rip. That would be one hell of a ride!”

  I clap him on the back and pull him in for a hug. The moment it begins he says, “I swear, try to kiss me and your trouser bolt will be the next to be dissolved!”

  We break the bro hug with pats on the back and the five of us stare down the belly of the beast.

  “Well, at least we don’t have to worry about reinforcing it this time…not that we could anyway now that we blew up Matilda!” I note.

  “No kidding eh? The walls around the grate look to be solid concrete.” Ethan says appreciatively.

  Ethan scrapes away a small amount and mixes the scant powder into another flask. His eyes go wide as the entire thing turns purple with reddish particulate in the bottom.

  “It isn’t just concrete. It is reinforced with a polymer that makes it completely inert. You couldn’t get a charge to pass through those walls even if you coated them with water and surrounded them with tank batteries.”

  Tyrese looks over at him and Ethan adds, “Not you this time… a real tank!”

  Tyrese pouts playfully, touches his own arm, and says, “I feel real to me!”

  I grab a pen off one of the desks and toss it down the abyss.

  “Uh Mosty-Ghosty, why did you do that?” Maya says worriedly

  “Did you really want to slide all the way down only to find another electrified grate meeting you at the other end?” I note.

  “Think about it, Byte. Imagine what that might do to your hair? And not just the stuff on your head!” Ethan comments.

  “Thanks for your concern, Ethan, but I wax!”

  Ethan’s eyes go wide for a moment and he coughs and sputters. We all laugh until we hear a metallic clank. We all crane our necks and listen. I wait a few seconds and say, “No sizzle is a good thing.”

  I think about it for a second and say, “Tank and I will go first.”

  Ethan, Maya, and Joo-Eun all cross their arms and all together say, “And why is that?”

  “Because I’m pretty sure that you three don’t want to be shoved against that grate while he and I slide down to meet you!”

  “I bet Maya would!” Ethan says.

  “Your penis starting to tingle again, Ethan?”

  “In multiple ways, dear Byte, in multiple ways…”

  Maya just rolls her eyes and moves two steps away from him.

  Tyrese looks at me and nods. He stretches out and says, “How do you want to do this?”

  I grab two glow sticks from inside my pack and crack them. They slowly build up in strength until we are all bathed in their eerie, green light.

  “On three, Tank?

  “Why three? Why not eight or twenty-two?” Ethan questions.

  Both Tyrese and I stare at him incredulously.

  “Just sayin…”

  “On three, Ghost.”

  “One second lead on the light?”

  “Sounds good.”

  “One.”

  “Two.”

  I toss both of the glow sticks into the shaft.

  “THREE!”

  We both jump, feet first, into the maw of the steel beast. I stare down at my feet and can see the glow sticks floundering around about ten feet in front of me. That’s when I notice the red laser lights that span the vent at various points. Some run horizontal while others go top to bottom. One of the sticks of light hits one flush in the middle and is summarily split in half.

  I jam my heels into the steel and grab for my pockets and drop three more lights, hoping that they make it. I then press my palms against the sides to slow myself as much as possible. The heat builds up exponentially and I am only mildly successful. I can feel the blisters begin to bubble to the surface of my skin. I look over at Tyrese and see that he is doing the same. The grimace on his face says that he is suffering as much as I am.

  “THROW YOUR HEAD BACK, GHOST!”

  I slam my head against the metal and see stars for a second. I also watch as a thin red beam passes half an inch over my nose. I nod to him and see a red line heading for the side of his head.

  “LEFT ROLL, TANK!”

  He immediately leans on his left elbow and slides on top of me. The laser slices the corner of my pack as we whiz by. We glance at one another and I notice red glowing freckles against Tyrese’s dark skin. I push him away as hard as I can, sending his back smacking into the metal. The laser passes directly between us.

  I look down and watch the last few glow sticks disappear from sight entirely. I scream, “HANG ON, TANK!” as I grab at his collar. Before he has a chance to argue, I push his shoulder down and roll him into a ball. I then drape as much of my frame as I can around his. Moments later I gasp as the bottom drops out beneath us. We free fall about five feet until I feel my ass smack into the metal grate. A painful shudder travels through my right cheek all the way down to my knee. The force of our combined weight tears at the frame around it and it collapses. I spin us slightly to the left and see floor about twenty feet below.

  I catch my breath and my eyes go wide as time slows down. I know we’re going to die if we don’t get through. I push Tyrese towards the opening as hard as I can. His right hand snaps out like a whip and latches onto the remaining metal around the opening. His legs slide under my armpits and his feet hook me like a fish. Moments later we hear the smash and clatter of the grate as it hits solid concrete below.

  Neither Tyrese nor I can speak. The sound of the crash fades. It echoes violently around the shaft as the dust settles around us. I finally manage to swallow and I say, “Is now a bad time to tell you that I’m ticklish?”

  I feel his body shake a little as he says, “No, but it isn’t a great one for being funny either. Can you climb up?”

  “I think so.”

  I reach across my body and grab his left leg with my right hand. I then spin myself around and use Tyrese like a ladder to climb my way to safety. I then grab onto his forearm and pull him up with me. Once we are both safely to the side of the opening, we start to breathe deeply and chuckle nervously.

  “Thanks, Tank. I owe you.”
<
br />   He claps me on the back and says, “After the laser show, let’s just call it even.”

  We clasp forearms and nod at one another as we hear a high-pitched shriek traveling down the vents. “GUUUYYYYSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!”

  “We’re okay, Maya. Did anybody else hear the noise? Are you guys okay?”

  “Are you kidding me, Hayden? Does bull in a china shop mean anything to you? The alarms are going crazy up here.”

  “Well, don’t come down here... there are killer red lasers!”

  A blue beam suddenly shoots past us and hits one of the red beams as it passes us by. The moment Maya’s probe touches the laser, the killer cutter evaporates. Seconds later I hear three different screams, all of which sound female.

  I look at Tyrese and laugh. “Is the third one Ethan?”

  He just laughs and nods. “Feel free to remind him about it too, Ghost. He’ll love that!”

  I stare at the jagged open hole and say, “Why don’t we save their lives first?”

  Tyrese and I push our boots against the concrete and press our shoulders together, forming a human blockade. Seconds later and I feel three bundles crash against my back.

  “That was most enjoyable. I am somewhat surprised at how much I liked that.” Joo-Eun says with a giggle.

  “Ugh but it messed up my hair.” Maya notes.

  “THAT WAS AWESOME! Let’s do it again!” Ethan cheers.

  Tyrese and I look at one another and laugh. “Maybe later, Bartender. What’s going on up there?”

  “Hmmm… what is the best metaphor to use? Remember when they remade Star Wars, A New Hope?”

  “Yessss….”

  “Well remember the scene where Han grabs the blaster and starts chasing the Storm Troopers down the hall, only to open into a room full of them?”

  “Say no more, Bartender.”

  The four of them look at me anxiously. Finally, it’s Tyrese who speaks. “Where to now, Ghost?”

  I look them all in the eye and say, “If we wait here or continue on, we are just as busted. I wouldn’t have made it this far without you but I understand if you don’t want to go any further. I totally get it if…”

  Ethan interrupts and rolls his eyes.

  “Waa-waa-waaa. You are making me all misty-eyed, Ghost. We’re already here you moron!”

  “ETHAN!” both Maya and Joo-Eun scold.

  He raises his palms to the sky and says, “What, so the two of you are going to let him drop down there alone?”

  The two girls stop talking immediately and look at the ground.

  Ethan looks back at me and says, “I vote that Tank go last on this one. There is NO way I am letting anyone else lower me down there!”

  With a tear in my eye and a grin on my face, I reach into my pack and pull out my rope. I secure it to a solid piece of metal that is wedged in the concrete and drop it down the hole. I then look back at Ethan and say, “Forget that idea, Bartender. We’ll climb down together. I’ll lead the way.”

  Chapter 22 - Hayden

  The moment my feet touch the concrete floor, a series of electrical bolts fire from the walls and arc in every direction. One of them actually skips through my right hand, causing me to pull it back against my body. The moment that I do, the streaks converge on me, surrounding me in a nimbus of blue light. I try to open my mouth to scream, but no sound comes out. I feel stuck to the spot as my hair stands on end and my skin tingles. Then, just as quickly, they swirl together at the center where they arc straight into the floor and vanish.

  Ethan rushes over to me with his jaw practically on the floor. “Holy shit, Ghost! You okay?”

  “Yeah, surprisingly, I’m fine. You’d think my Dad would know how to safely run electrical cable. I thought they taught you shit like that at M.I.T. Then again, this IS a government outfit.”

  “Not surprising at all. Geniuses in one area always suck in another, even if it’s similar. You should see what happens when I try cooking!”

  Tyrese chortles audibly. “Isn’t cooking just edible chemistry? That would be like me being unable to play sports!”

  Ethan looks him up and down and scoffs.

  “Says the guy with two left feet! Wait till you see Tyrese doing the funky chicken on the dance floor! He’s got to be the most uncoordinated martial arts expert on the planet!”

  We giggle at the remark and I immediately feel some of the tension leave my body.

  The others slide down and Joo-Eun rushes over to me. I immediately feel like I am sitting at the pediatrician’s office. I raise my hands in protest, but she immediately grabs my right thumb and bends it back to the point where I can’t move.

  “Thank you for your cooperation, Ghost. I just need a few more moments to confirm that the beam of energy that engulfed you moments ago didn’t FRY YOUR BODY!” Her voice rises at the end to the point where I swallow hard and nod curtly. She releases my hand and flashes a light into each of my eyes. She then clicks it off and makes note of something in her notebook.

  “So?”

  “Your heart rate is elevated but you are otherwise healthy.”

  “Yeah well look around you, Joo-Eun. I think that my racing heart is excusable given the situation.”

  We are in a massive octagonal space, like someone took a stop sign and made it as big as a public pool, deck and all. It is divided into smaller areas by clear walls and doors, making it possible to see any part of the room from any spot. Our area seems to be a supply room. I move away from the gang to get a look around and I see some kind of revolving door at the far end of the outer wall.

  Tyrese comes up behind me and says, “Guess that’s the other way in.”

  “I’d love to watch him try our way.”

  He pats my shoulders and we spread out to explore. I reach into my pocket and pull out my phone.

  Maya plants her hands on her hips and pouts.

  “Did you have that phone all along?”

  “Of course I did, why do you ask?”

  “THEN WHY DID YOU DESTROY MINE?”

  I walk over to her and kiss the center of her forehead. “Because, why would I destroy mine when I can blow up yours?”

  Ethan is at my side in a moment and hugs me tightly. “Ghost, I think I just fell in love with you.”

  Maya just rolls her eyes and stomps away, murmuring under her breath.

  I begin to snap pictures of everything I see. I shudder and my eyes go wide as I take in all the strange-looking pieces of equipment. I swallow hard at the implications.

  “Guys, I don’t recognize any of this shit. I feel like I’ve been zapped into a movie scene from a spy thriller or some alien death fest!”

  Ethan calls out from somewhere to my left, “That would make a great video game.”

  “I’d play it with you!”

  The walls of the room we are in are lined with shelves and transparent drawers, each meticulously labeled in Dad’s handwriting. There are also rows of shelves across the middle of the room. I hear a mewling whimper, like a tiny kitten yawning, from my right.

  “Oh my goodness! You are such a precious little thing. I could kiss you all over, yes I could!”

  I rush over, only to find Maya hugging a workbench placed in the middle of the storage space, behind all of the shelves. I have to put my hand on its shiny surface to steady myself as I catch my breath. “Jesus Christ, Maya you scared the shit out of me! I thought you found some mutated unicorn or something.”

  “I wish… but this is almost as good!”

  The workstation is roughly the size of a ping pong table and has more of the strange extraterrestrial tools lying all over it. There are a dozen power receptacles scattered throughout the bench area and a series of computers hardwired to the table on moveable swing arms. On one end there is some kind of microscope mounted, while the other end has a fume hoo
d and chemical shower. Maya finally stops exploring and comes over to me. She grabs me by my shoulders and looks me in the eye.

  “What’s he working on, Ghost?”

  “You know I have no clue, Byte! What’s your problem?”

  “THAT is my problem!” Maya begins pointing at the slumbering machine. “Hidden beneath that tabletop is the central processor for a Jaguar-Cray XT5-HE Opteron!”

  “Is that supposed to mean something to me?”

  “HAYDEN! This is one of the fastest computers on the planet! This is the same machine that the Department of Energy uses at the Oak Ridge National Laboratory! They use these things to test molecular movements, superconductivity, nuclear fusion... you know.”

  “Not really but I’ll take your word for it.” I take pictures of everything.

  I stare at my reflection in the darkened monitors. “I want to see this thing up and running. My site would want that too! I want to make sure that he can’t weasel his way out by claiming it was just a decoy or something.”

  Before Maya can object, I touch what looks to be the power key for the worktable. The system immediately jumps to life. A deep hum of power begins to flow through the room, making it seem like it is whispering to us.

  “GHOST! Are you insane? You have no idea what you’re messing with!”

  I slam my fists down on the table and scream, “I DON’T CARE! What part of that do you NOT understand? I don’t care if it’s dangerous! I don’t care if it’s delicate! I couldn’t give a shit how much it costs or how long it will take to fix it if I accidentally damage it. STOP TELLING ME WHAT TO DO! Like I said before, you can leave if you want but I am staying here until I get to the truth! What goes around comes around, tit for tat, karma’s a bitch and all that. That colossal prick brought this upon himself!”

  “Never mind all that,” Maya says, breaking the awkward silence. She reaches into her pocket and pulls out her USB key. “You wanted proof? Give me five minutes in the system and I’ll get you the Clinton-Lewinksy White House video. With the help of this beautiful piece of machinery, I can discover almost anything!”

  That’s when Joo-Eun cries out in alarm. “Hayden, I need you over here for a moment. Please do not dally!”