The Water Witch Cozy Mystery Boxed Set: Four Book Paranormal Cozy Mystery Anthology (Sam Short Boxed Sets 1)

by Sam Short

“I wanted to add a flower that would suit you, some sort of witchcraft flower, like hemlock or something, but the woman in the shop looked at me like I was mad. She put a sprig of elderflower in though. I think that’s supposed to be magical, isn’t it?”

  I put a finger to my lips and nodded at the back of the driver’s head. “Don’t talk about that here,” I said. “Wait until the restaurant. It’ll be more private.”

  Barney had booked the table in advance, and he’d chosen the perfect table for a couple who required privacy. As the name suggested, The Cosy Cucina was not a large restaurant, and most of the dozen or so tables had couples or small families already seated at them.

  The waiter led us to a secluded cubical table in a corner near the large window. The view across the countryside was breathtaking even in the dying light, and the canal was still visible in the distance as the sun gave way to the moon.

  Barney ordered us some wine, and I licked my lips as the aroma of garlic and mussels flooding from the kitchen made my mouth water. We ordered our meals, and with a full wine glass each, Barney’s bottom lip already staining red from just a few small sips, I looked him in the eye. “You’re taking the whole thing very well, Barney,” I said, “I’d have thought you’d have had a lot of questions for me. I know I probably would if I’d just found out that witches existed.”

  “Of course I have questions,” said Barney, breaking a small piece of bread from one of the rolls in the wicker basket in the centre of the round table. “But I understand how it is for you, Penny. And Susie, Willow, and erm.. Boris were very patient with me. When I had to rush off to work and leave you in that trance in your bed, I was scared and I wanted to know everything. It took all my self control to stay away from you until now, but I thought you’d need to think about things just as much as I needed to. It’s not everyday your secret is laid bare like it was that night at the meal. It must have been very difficult for you too.”

  It had been difficult, but I’d have thought what Barney had gone through would have been worse. “It was,” I said. “But I’m happy that you know the truth. I just need to know that you can handle the truth, Barney. Finding out that witches exist must have turned your world upside down. I know some people wouldn’t be able to handle it.”

  “Can I handle knowing that witches exist and that the woman who’s sitting opposite me sharing a bottle of wine can do magic? Hell, yeah, I can handle that! It’s awesome, Penny, and Susie told me how your magic helped with the Sam Hedgewick case. Imagine it — I’ve got a witch as a… friend, who can solve crimes! It’s amazing.”

  I took a long gulp of wine. “I can’t really solve crimes, Barney. I can help you, but the leg work still needs to be done by the police.”

  We stopped speaking as the waiter slid our starters in front of us. Seared scallops for Barney, and mussels with white wine sauce for me. I knew that drinking red wine with fish went against every piece of food advice I’d ever read or been given, but it seemed that Barney’s and my relationship was breaking a lot of normal conventions. Drinking the wrong wine with a meal was the least of them.

  “How do you do it, Penny?” said Barney. “I mean how do you actually do it… like how do you cast a spell or whatever it is you do?”

  “Wiggle your fingers on your left hand,” I said.

  Barney gave me an enquiring look, but laid his fork down and did as I’d asked.

  “How did you do that, Barney?” I said. “How did you wiggle your fingers?”

  “I don’t know. I thought about doing it and it just happened.”

  “That’s how magic works” I said. “When you first learn a new spell it takes a little more effort, but after that, it’s just a case of thinking about what you want to do. Just like wiggling your fingers.”

  Barney asked me more questions, and I answered each one as honestly as I could. We were onto the subject of the haven by the time Barney’s lamb shank with rosemary gravy and my paella had arrived at the table.

  “You can go to the haven, but you haven’t gone yet?” said Barney. “Why?”

  “I’ve waited so long,” I said. “I can wait a day or two longer while Mum arranges a simple ceremony for me. It would be unfair of me to enter without Mum. She’d take it very badly, and to be honest, I’m a little nervous about going alone.”

  Barney nodded and put a hand to his head. He rubbed his temple with two fingers and winced. “Ouch,” he said. “I’ve had a terrible headache all day. It’s wearing off though. Thanks to the wine, I think.”

  “It’s because of the spell you had cast on you,” I said. “It will go away soon enough.”

  “What spell,” said Barney. “You stopped them casting one, remember?”

  I sipped my wine. “The spell that Willow cast on you to make you forget. At Granny’s cottage. That was powerful magic, it was bound to give you a headache.”

  “What are you talking about?” said Barney, placing his glass on the table and staring at me. “What spell at Granny’s? Making me forget what?”

  I swallowed hard. I’d assumed that Willow, Boris, and Susie had told him everything… including the fact that we’d wiped his memory clean. “Nothing,” I said, my cheeks warming from the lie. “I’ve had too much wine.”

  “Penny,” said Barney. “I’ll ask you once more, and I’d like to think you trust me enough to give me an honest answer. What spell at Granny’s?”

  I dabbed my mouth with a napkin. “You came to Granny’s house to investigate an arson, Barney, remember?”

  He nodded. “Of course I do, everything was okay. I crossed your grandmother out of my book and told Sergeant Cooper she had nothing to do with it. Or that goat of hers. It seems quite weird now I know the goat can speak though, but I definitely found nothing amiss at Ashwood cottage.”

  “It didn’t quite go down like that,” I said.

  “How did it go down then, Penny? What happened to me.”

  “You’ll be angry,” I said, “and we probably broke the law too. How will you deal with that?”

  “Just tell me,” said Barney. “I’ll deal with it the same way I deal with everything… calmly and rationally.”

  “I can do better than tell you,” I said. “I can show you. If you trust me to cast a spell on you, that is.”

  After watching Willow cast the spell, I’d taken the time to learn it myself. It was simple to learn a spell from Granny’s spell book. A spell was s series of numbers, letters, and symbols, which imprinted themselves onto a witches mind when she read them. It had taken me less than a minute to learn the spell Willow had cast, and I’d spent a further half an hour learning more spells, including one which could bring back memories.

  “Do it,” said Barney. “Make me remember.”

  “Here?” I said. “It might be too public here, Barney. You might have a shock when you remember what happened.”

  Barney narrowed his eyes. “Just do it,” he said.

  I glanced around the room. The other customers were either preoccupied with eating, or deep in conversation with their dining companions.

  “Okay,” I said. “Prepare yourself. I’m not sure how it will work.”

  Barney gripped the edge of the table with both hands. “Go for it. I’m ready. I want to know what you did to me, and why you did it to me.”

  The spell came easily. I sucked a little air between my lips and tasted copper in my mouth. The spell tingled in my fingertips, and I hid my hands beneath the table as I clicked my fingers.

  Barney closed his eyes and gasped, the table rocked a little as he tightened his grip on it, and I put my hand on one of his. “It’s okay,” I said. “You’re safe.”

  “Goat in garden,” he mumbled. “Cigar smoke in strange backroom. No one in cottage smokes though.”

  “That’s it,” I said, unsure if he could hear me. “Let the memories come back slowly.”

  Barney smiled, his eyes still closed. “Penny’s bottom on the stairs in front of me. Nice. Mustn’t touch though, however t
empting.”

  I wondered why I was blushing — Barney had his eyes closed and I doubted he had any idea about what he was saying. There was no reason to be embarrassed, but my cheeks burned hot nonetheless.

  “Mad Gladys Weaver,” murmured Barney. “Look in her bedroom. Why does she keep a baseball bat under her bed? None of my business. It’s not illegal. Forget what you saw in her top drawer — never think of it again — it might mentally scar you. Leave Barney… go and look in next bedroom.”

  I promised myself I’d never look in Granny’s top drawer, however tempted I was, and watched Barney’s face closely. The important part was coming up. He was about to remember discovering Charleston Huang’s hiding place.

  “What’s in the corner?” said Barney, his voice becoming louder. “A man! In the corner! Get out!”

  Barney’s eyes snapped open and he stared through me. “Come out with your hands up!” he shouted, standing up and knocking the bread basket off the table. “Light-shade on his head! Chinese fellow in the corner! Is he dead?”

  People stopped eating and lowered their cutlery as a waiter scampered towards us, placing the tray he was carrying on the nearest table and putting his hand on Barney’s back. “No dead Chinese man in here,” he said in broken English. “This Italian restaurant! No dead men at all in corner!”

  Barney ignored him. “Am I in heaven?”

  “No, sir,” said the waiter. “Food good here, but this not heaven!”

  I attempted to stop the spell, but it seemed that when the memories which Willow had purged from Barney’s mind had been replaced by my spell, there was nothing to do but let it run its course and wait for Barney to recover.

  “He’s okay,” I said, as the waiter looked in Barney’s wine glass, possibly for drugs. “He’s just very tired.”

  “Too much wine?” said the waiter. He looked Barney up and down. “He very tall man. Should be able to drink lots.”

  “Yes, he is tall,” I said. “But he doesn’t drink very often.”

  Barney laughed, his eyes closed again. “I’ll only pay for half of the meal! Perfect!”

  “No, sir,” said the waiter. “Not perfect. You pay full price.”

  Barney gasped, and the waiter took a hurried step away from him.

  “Are you alright?” I said, as colour flooded Barney’s cheeks.

  Barney sat down and waved at the spectators he’d acquired. “Show’s over,” he laughed.

  The waiter smiled at Barney. “You fine now, sir?” he said.

  “Everything’s fine,” said Barney. “Thank you.”

  When the other diners had started eating again, and the bread and basket had been picked up from the floor, the waiter retrieved his tray and continued with his business.

  I leaned across the table. “I’m so sorry, Barney,” I said. “I feel awful about everything that happened at Granny’s, and now I’ve put you in terrible position — you have to decide whether you’re going to charge Granny with arson or not, now you know the truth.”

  “Charge Gladys?” said Barney, his eyes sparkling. “Of course not. How can I possibly apply laws which are meant for humans, to witches? I understand everything now… that spell did more than give me my memories back… it filled in the blanks too. I know who Charleston Huang is and I know why Gladys and Boris burnt that car. They had to protect themselves. The secret is safe with me, Penny. You have my word.”

  “I’d have thought you’d have been angrier,” I said. “We stole your memories.”

  “For a valid reason,” said Barney. “And anyway, how could I be angry? I was just given a beautiful memory.”

  “What on earth was beautiful about what happened to you in that cottage?” I said. “Scary, yes. Hideous, maybe. Beautiful — I’m just not seeing it.”

  Barney took my hand in his. “When Willow asked you if you wanted me to forget about the meal, you said no. You said you wanted to come with me, and you even offered to pay half which was a lovely gesture! I’ve never been happier, Penny. I wondered if you were just coming for a meal with me out of pity, but now I know the truth, and it’s the best feeling I’ve ever had. It certainly takes the sting out of the shame I feel for the comment I made about your bottom.”

  I laughed. “You remember saying that?”

  Barney nodded. “I remember everything that happened in your grandmother’s cottage, and to my shame…everything that just happened here — it will be a long time before I eat in this restaurant again.” He paused momentarily, and squeezed my hand. “There’s no secrets between us anymore, is there, Penny?”

  “I wish the comment about my bottom was still a secret, Barney,” I giggled. “But no, as far as I’m concerned there are no more secrets between us.”

  Barney leaned across the table, and despite a few of the other customers and the waiter still watching us, I sat forward in my seat, smiled at him, and allowed him to kiss me.

  It was how I’d imagined it would be, and the fluttering in my belly stayed with me long after Barney had pulled his lips from mine and ordered dessert.

  Chapter Fourteen

  “The scarecrow man,” said Willow, seemingly out of nowhere.

  I looked up from the box of novelty spells I was sorting through. “What about him? I told Barney last night and he said he wasn’t aware of anyone who makes scarecrows. He’s asking around though, but because we got the information from Mrs Oliver by using magic, he has to be careful what he says.”

  Willow placed a cast iron cauldron on a low display shelf near the door. “You told Barney about what happened in the vets?”

  “Yes,” I said. “There are no secrets between us anymore.”

  “What did he say?”

  “He didn’t really want to talk about the Gerald Timkins case. He was more interested in the fact that I’m a witch, Willow, but he laughed and asked how Boris was after his ordeal… he’s very taken with him. He wants a boys night in… just him, Boris, and a bottle of brandy.”

  Willow smiled. “I can’t think of anything that could go wrong with that,” she said. “Not a thing at all.”

  “My thoughts precisely,” I said, allowing myself a giggle as I pictured Boris and Barney drinking into the small hours of the morning. “But Barney’s a little like me. He doesn’t have many friends. It will be nice for him to be able to relax and have some fun with Boris.”

  Willow stood up and joined me at the sales counter, flipping through a brochure from the sign writing company we’d chosen to make the sign for the shop. “As I was saying,” she said. “The scarecrow man.”

  “And as I said — what about him?”

  “Remember that pick-up truck? The one that nearly knocked us down in the lane on the way to Granny’s?”

  I nodded, realisation dawning. “Yes, I do. The one that seemed to be in a real hurry, probably around the time Gerald was killed!”

  “The one that dropped old clothes and straw from the back,” added Willow. “It doesn’t take a huge leap of faith to suggest that he might be the scarecrow man, does it?”

  I already had my phone to my ear. “I’ll tell Barney,” I said. “The police are still questioning Felix Round, but Barney doesn’t think he did it. He has a strong alibi — he said he was at a yoga class to help stretch his stomach for the pie eating competition. Barney’s checking it out.”

  “Tell him I remembered it,” said Willow. “I could do with a little praise.”

  Barney answered the phone. “Hi,” I said, blushing as Willow doodled a heart on the notepad next to her, writing Penny luvs Barney, inside it.

  I told Barney what had happened in the lane and explained our suspicions, adding that it had been Willow’s suggestion, much to her delight. “I don’t,” I said, when Barney asked if I remembered a registration plate number. “Maybe willow does.”

  Willow was no help either, and Barney ended the call with only a vague description of the pick-up truck and driver to help with his investigation.

  “He’s checking
out CCTV footage in town,” I said, “looking for the pick-up, but there’s not many cameras. He says the police are releasing Felix this morning, too. His alibi checks out, and Mr Jarvis doesn’t want to press charges either.”

  “I was sure he’d done it,” said Willow. “He seemed so angry.”

  “It’s the quiet ones you have to watch out for,” I said. “According to Granny, but she’s not quiet and you have to look out for her.”

  Willow laughed, and glanced at her watch. “Speaking of Granny, we’d better lock up the shop and get going. She wants us there by ten o’clock.”

  Willow switched off the lights and I closed the door behind us. The shop was going to be opened officially when our new sign had been delivered and fitted, and Willow and I were both excited about running a business together. “Granny can’t demand our presence when the shop is officially open,” I said, locking the door. “We can’t just open and close when we feel like it. We’ll get a terrible reputation.”

  Willow nodded. “Of course, but you must admit you want to go to Granny’s this morning, though? I know I do.”

  I slipped the keys into my short’s pocket. “I do too,” I admitted. “I’m intrigued about —”

  “Girls! Could I have a moment of your time please?”

  The woman’s voice cut me off mid sentence, and Willow and I turned to see a short woman running across the road towards us.

  “Mrs Round,” said Willow.

  “Im sorry to bother you both,” said the tiny woman with the big hair. “But I wanted to apologise for my husband’s behaviour outside your shop. I’ve already apologised to Mr Jarvis, and he kindly agreed to drop the charges of assault against Felix. I’ve been told that you two and a man had to come outside and stop Felix from hurting poor Mr Jarvis. A hypnotist, a policewoman told me?”

  “Yes, that was our uncle,” I said. “But there’s no need to apologise. We’re just happy that Felix is okay, and that the police have cleared him of murder. It can’t be easy to have that sort of accusation hanging around your neck.”

  Mrs Round shook her head and offered us a narrow smile. “Murder and Felix don’t even belong in the same sentence,” she said. “He’s normally as mild mannered as a stoned vicar, but when it’s pie eating competition time, he turns into another man completely — not violent though, you understand? Just hungry and grumpy. What he did to Mr Jarvis was completely out of character for him. It’s his health, he really needs to stop with these stupid food eating competitions before they kill him.”