My Life in the End

by Adriana Alexa

  I needed a coffee.

  I looked up at the corner. The Brioche Doree was right there. The place where I took my coffee when the day's work was particularly hellish. I set foot on the street, still watching the corner. I would not come over that coffee shop ... I would not work in that building ... and not by my choice. Fired.

  I heard the horn popping in my ears and jumped to the side.

  I had crossed the street without looking to the sides? Or the car had advanced on me?

  One of my hands was on his stomach on the other the heart racing.

  I find it hard that she wait a few days.

  It would be so, now, would not you? At every turn, in every shadow? Today would be the day that Eleanor would end my life once? It would be now?

  Part of me doubted the story of Boe were true. Another part could not think of anything that would make more sense.

  He had been threatened with death before. But it had never been more than intentions. I mean ... I've always been a horrible person and it was difficult to win the day without at least two or three people have homicidal thoughts. I let people angry. Lawyers, opposing parties, judges, officials, strangers in the street ... it was a talent I had. But could never ... I never imagined that one of these threats really be so palpable.

  I entered the Brioche and ordered a coffee. I stared at the huge window of the bakery, lost in thought.

  I was unemployed.

  But that would not last. It could not last. If someone Baxter had started this problem, one of Baxter would solve. I needed to go home. To talk to Greg. It would be the only solution.

  I took the coffee for the trip. Decaffeinated. Still, it would help me. I needed a break. I needed two minutes of calm that insane day. I was on the sidewalk when I took the first sip. The taste was awful and I could not not spit in a nearby trash can.

  What the fuck is that?

  I wiped my mouth with the back of his hand, still had a frown on my face when I realized. It was salt in my coffee. Someone changed my sugar for salt.

  boe...

  I looked around.

  He was trying to prove a point. Show what would be the easiest thing in the world to put those thirty drops in my drink.

  Would be child's play.

  ***********

  I had gotten used to this dynamic: not know what to do? Gathers whole neighborhood crazy people in Thierry's house and eat cookies while discussing nonsense.

  It was what I needed.

  - I do not know where they are. - Confessed - I mean ... Rick is in a meeting right now there late. I saw Andy leaving car not long ago when I was sitting on the porch, Dom. Madeleine and I do not see Shelby since yesterday.

  - Oh, great. - I muttered in a barely concealed nervousness - Nobody works in this neighborhood unless I need to talk. - I rubbed his forehead. I was very repeating this gesture lately. It was as if my body was repeating something cyclically to relieve stress.

  - Good! - Thierry opened his arms, friendly - I'm here. On what needs to talk?

  - Can you keep a secret?

  - Secret? What do you want to talk is a secret? And you wanted to talk to all those people gossip? - Joked.

  - Yeah, I think it ended up being good to have just found you, Thierry! - smile.

  - Sit down, dear. I do not tell anyone. Promise.

  I took a deep breath, not knowing where to start to finally find out what were the words I wanted to say. Thierry was very quiet as I had several problems with Eleanor, some of which he knew very well because of previous conversations, but he kept listening without interrupting me yet. She puts her hand on his face when I finally told disgusting proposal that Eleanor had done earlier and lowered her eyes when I told him about the story of Boe and my resignation.

  Nothing had been resolved, I know. But only speak ... just put it all out already made me feel so much better.

  - I understand. - He sighed - And when you go?

  I was speechless for a few seconds trying to understand the depth of your question.

  - Where do I go?

  - Although? The boy said he would try to make some time for you, was not it? How long has he got?

  - No, Thierry. - Shook hands for him - I will not. I do not like running away from my problems. I'm not that kind of people.

  - Well, I vividly remember at least one other time you ran away. - Recalled and I rolled my eyes at him.

  - Ali was different. I was in love with Holt and I was afraid and hid. But now it's a fight. I did not understand love, but fight I always understood. And do not run away from a fight.

  - It's all right. - He raised a hand - But it's not just you now, is not it?

  He had a fatherly look that reminded me Boe.

  That's ... were people who liked me for reasons that I would never understand, since most of the individuals who have crossed my path always seemed to think that hatred was a feeling that people unbearable as I deserved much more than caring . But there was Thierry. Looking at me with the same eyes of Boe. With the same eyes of my father.

  They were worried about me. Concerned for me.

  - I can turn around.

  - I have no doubts. But you will have to turn two, Dom.

  Not only do you now ...

  - You're not alone. You'll never be alone. You will have a little person who depends on you for everything. And he ... or she ... unaware of this fight. Unknown hatred, plots ... You can stay and fight. But even if you can escape the clutches of that old, you sure you can keep your child safe?

  - That decision is not mine alone. Gregory has the right to vote. - I decided, but I noticed that the conviction was failing.

  - Gregory has a vote on abortion, I agree. It was wrong for you to even consider it without talking to him before. But now it's different. You have a natural obligation to protect their offspring.

  - Prole, Thierry? You speak as if I were an animal.

  - And you are. And I think your friend is right. Talk to Gregory may now complicate everything.

  - You can not be serious!

  - I can not? Laura! It is you who does not seem to be taking this situation seriously. These people are dangerous. It's the kind of thing you read in the paper, you hear talk, but if you think it will never happen to you or someone close. Not a movie! It's not a game! It's your life and your child. Talk to Gregory will risk his life. The life of your friend to tell you everything. And will put you even more at the sight of this dangerous woman.

  - I do not think she would do something with Gregory. It is the precious her grandson.

  - Yes, but I think even yesterday you did not imagine that she would try to kill you too, is not it?

  I was silent and he knew I agreed.

  - Honey ... - he took my hand in his and I saw that he was really worried - She will not let you stay with Gregory. And I understand fight! Believe! I struggled in my youth. - She smiled tired - and I fight this damn disease for years. - Swallowed hard, with a small smile, remembering the cancer itself - but there are times that we need to accept defeat and prepare for the next battle.

  My throat was closing. I really thought my days of solitude had been left behind. I thought the next fights I had to face would be on staff.

  - If I leave, I lose. - I whispered.

  - If you go away, your son lives. In peace. If you win or lose does not matter, Dom. Now it's his turn.

  ***********

  I was already in the room and when Gregory came through the door I threw myself at him as if my life depended on it.

  - Hey! Sun? What happened?

  She dropped things on the floor and hugged me.

  I needed that hug both.

  Before Holt, I was used to living alone. To be alone. Needless to say, he changed everything, but at times so I still surprised at how much he had changed me. I needed him. Badly needed.

  - Hug me. - I asked.

  He tightened his embrace around me. His breath on my neck, a kiss on my cheek.

  - Love? What happe
ned? I am worried. - Pushed me just a little, but kept his arms around my waist. His caring and overprotective look was there, as always. I smiled.

  Before the whole fucking day, I could only smile.

  Love and insanity were both really close.

  I wanted to talk to him. I wanted to tell all.

  But there was something that I needed.

  - Kiss Me?

  He laughed and held me by the hair. His face lined with mine, looking deep into my eyes as if to ask what the hell had happened. I remained silent. Needy.

  Greg kissed me, pressing my body against his, making me forget all my doubts and my insecurities. Kissing my lips, my cheeks, my eyes, my chin, my neck.

  - A shower? - has invited.

  - Say you Love Me. - I asked.

  - Sun? - Your fun and confused tone took on a darker color. As before he was just wondering my weird behavior, but was now genuinely certain that something wrong had happened - Of course I love you. Love you so much. - Pulled me by the waist, again - More than anything in my life, love. What happened?

  - I think I'm ... - lifted one shoulder and smiles of my nonsense - lacking.

  - Come here that I solve it. - He smiled.

  I was protected there. Surrounded by it. Gregory had a around me and it was delicious. He kissed me almost every part of the body. He said he loved me more times than I could count. Made me laugh. He kissed my mouth and he had a delicious taste of home.

  I would not do that ...

  People were wrong.

  They were all wrong.

  I and Holt had been through situations like this. We had experienced a lack of trust in each other. But in the end, we had overcome all, was not it? His grandmother was a problem. A huge problem. Thierry was wrong: I took seriously. too seriously.

  Gregory would know everything. I could go ... could pretend it was gone ... While it solved. It would be safe, Boe would be safe. Gregory would not stop fighting to uncover the truth. Not if your sister had been murdered! He would solve. I was sure.

  - Make love with me.

  - I'm loving you needy. - He laughed in my mouth and I bit her lip, pulling it to the stairs ... to the room. Greg undressed me slowly, as if in no hurry. Why need to hurry? I was his. ... Always feel his warm lips on my skin reloaded all my energies. Hear your sweet voice against my skin eased all fears.

  Greg made love to me almost all night. I do not know if my momentary lack scared or if, somehow, he knew I needed it. Anyway, he did not abandon me. He did not stop hugging me and kissing me. I took a hot bath and time consuming, whispering her feelings in my ear. It made me feel loved as only he could do.

  I ran my fingers through his chest.

  - Greg? - I called. He dropped his eyes to me with an exhausted expression - I need to talk to you about something.

  - Tomorrow? - She murmured, pressing me hard, unable to disguise the sleepiness in her voice.

  - Early, before you leave?

  - Early. - He promised - before I leave.

  Chapter 4

  I had learned to cook some things. It was what I called Laura Method of Teaching the Men Cooking. It was simple and involved four basic rules:

  Pepper was good.

  Sweet was better.

  If you did everything right, I got a blowjob.

  If you did mess, beaten with a wooden spoon.

  Simple and efficient.

  She should write a book.

  I was finishing breakfast when she went downstairs still wrapped in the robe.

  - Sun? - Swallow the toast - Are you sick?

  - No -.. He sat down beside me and pulled a piece of my toast.

  - Do not go to work? - Among his odd behavior in recent days, the unexpected grace and repeated absences at work I was starting to get seriously worried.

  - I had to fix some things this week ... - put a little pepper in the eggs I had fried and stole a piece with his fork.

  - One day you'll still get sick from eating pepper.

  - You're thinking that my stomach is loose like yours? - She smiled and I wanted to kiss her. Holy shit, I loved that smile. too loved.

  - This thing is dangerous!

  - Oh ... here it comes ... - rolled his eyes.

  - Do you remember our trip to Mexico?

  - Do you have a weak stomach, Holt ... has to accept it!

  - It was horrible! - Exaggerated - By the cheetos that place had pepper.

  - It was lovely! Stop being so dramatic.

  - It was lovely to see you wet and bikini all day. Pepper was shit.

  She was laughing.

  - We should go back. - Suggested and took his hand - To Cancun ... take a new holiday. What do you think?

  - Can be. - Laced his fingers through mine - Or we can meet elsewhere.

  - You will get wet and bikini?

  She laughed heartily.

  - E - I continued - preferably somewhere that has non-spicy options on the menu. So I do not need to get sick and scare you.

  - I do not scare me! I knew it was just drama.

  - You really want to tell me that is not afraid when I get sick? - I let my gaze explain the level of my unbelief.

  - That was different, Greg! In Mexico you just felt a little bad. But that infernal disease you picked up at the end of last year was different.

  His tone changed and I knew she would not like even to remember. I shook his hand fondly.

  - You yelled at the doctor. - I laugh.

  - He was an incompetent who wanted to send you back home in that state!

  - He got scared. - I could still see the face of the doctor torn between solving my problem or run away from that insane woman.

  - And was it! You were burning with fever! If it does not solve, I'd kill him. - I pulled my cup and drank my coffee - This is horrible. - He grimaced after sip. I spent his thumb across his lips wiping the drops of coffee.

  Sun was smiling and I thought that had already relaxed the situation enough.

  - What you had to solve this week? - I saw hesitation - That's what I wanted to talk?

  Come on ... I know you and Eleanor talked about something, Dom ... Tell me.

  - It's a long story. And short while.

  - Want me just tell short piece?

  -. No I do not want to leave any detail behind. I do not want you to understand anything wrong.

  - It's all right. I'm listening. - I shook his hand and smiled.

  He licked his lips and looked at me with a curious fear.

  My heart was moving a wildly way. About what she wanted to talk? I knew she had not betrayed me ... Not only because now I knew with some certainty that she loved me, but also because Eleanor seemed to have turned over a new friend. If Sun had betrayed me, the conversation with my grandmother would have been different.

  She took a deep breath and my cell phone rang.

  - This is getting difficult. - I played, but did not see her smile. I answered the phone and heard my secretary explain the problems of the day. - It was Rose. - Explained, so I hung up - I need to just go to Baxter, there was one or another problem, as always. - I smiled and kissed her lips - And it is urgent, as always. Can we continue this later? - I got up from the table and felt his hand on my arm.

  - No, Greg. We need to talk now.

  - Okay ... - I sat back feeling the lump in my throat intensify. What was happening? What could be so serious? - What's the matter, Dom?

  - It's a long story and you'll hear everything now. - Shook the full resolution face - will not go out or answer the phone until I finish, right?

  - Okay ... - I agreed and would be lying if I said I was not increasingly scared.

  - I think we have to start talking about your grandmother.

  I was in doubt was said to her that he knew that the two had talked about something. I considered to be silent, but then she found out that Eleanor had told me would look like I was next to my grandmother and not on the side of my wife. I really wanted this story of "sides" to stop there in my
life ... But, to preserve peace, opened my mouth:

  - Eleanor talked to me.

  I saw her entire neck contract.

  - Talked to you? About what?

  - About this strange conversation that you had. - Open arms indicating the answer obvious.

  - When? - His voice was a little too sharp.

  - Yesterday afternoon.

  - And what she said? - Dom was holding my arms.

  - Love? I thought it was you who was going to tell me a story! And ... She just talked about how you were not who she thought and how I was wrong and wanted to know you better.

  Laura opened his eyes staring into space, as if solving an equation unsolved. He spent a few seconds in this semi-torpor of utter incomprehension before starting to laugh.

  - Son of a bitch ... - whispered.

  - Sun! - Ah ... - If it is unpleasant, you offend. If it's nice, you offend too?

  - I think the conversation we had was not exactly like she told you, Gregory.

  I rubbed his temples.

  Great...

  - Dom ... I thought you two had talked and understood. Even because! - Raised the voice, not wanting - to Eleanor admit he was wrong, something must have happened! But clearly you got it wrong whatever she has said and ...

  - I got it wrong? - She pointed to herself with grief countenance.

  - I'm not defending or offending anyone. - I raised hands, surrendered, before she got angry - But I'm tired of this thing between you, Don! I'm tired of arguing with you and tired of arguing with her! You two are my family and are equally important to me! But neither seems to mind. You just pull me like a tug of war and are watching me from me. Is not fair!

  - Is not fair? Is not fair? I'll tell you what's not fair, Holt! is not just a person be judged by the crib! It is not just a person be considered inferior to the other for having fought his whole life for something that others have kissed the hand. For your damn grandmother I would be better if he had lived a rich bitch of life that does not need to work. My effort is worth less to her.

  I had lost count of how many times I heard that speech.

  Laura had a sore spent a couple of points that Eleanor had learned to tighten. All the effort of his life was something she deeply proud but at the same time, seemed to be one of his greatest sorrows. It was as if she was always saying "See? I am strong. I do not need anyone." But it hurt because she had learned to be strong because I had no one.