- Our wedding anniversary, sweetheart. - I could feel her twisting her nose at me. I looked away reading and confirmed my feeling: his lips pursed and his steady gaze full of judgment.
- When is?
She tried to disguise even the mockery when he smiled.
- At the end of the week.
- I have to travel at the weekend. You know it.
- The next weekend, Greg. But I could go with you on Friday. It would be good to get out of town. - He reached out across the table and touched my arm.
- Do not like to take the family on job opportunities. And I will not discuss it again. It's settled.
- We celebrate the date, then? When you return?
- Elizabeth. - I downloaded the newspaper and let my voice convey exhaustion I felt - Do we really need?
- Do not celebrate last year, Greg. - She let go of my arm indignantly - And the year before you arrived so late that we can not consider that was celebrated.
I exhaled deeply and stuck a fork of scrambled eggs in the mouth while waiting for the little tirade Elizabeth over. The soft taste bothered me.
- I know that you are a hard worker and dedicated. But it is a bad husband and a bad father! I have seen it happen the last few years, but now arrives. Or you change your attitude and start treating me and Hyatt more carefully or ...
- Or what? - I dropped the fork on the table - You ask for a divorce? Go away? Do not be ridiculous, Liz. It does not fit. Where is Pepper? - I looked across the table filled with fruit, herb bread, croissants and cold looking for specific pot.
- If you do not love me anymore, maybe we ...
His voice choked false and pathetically.
You do not love me anymore...More? I loved someday?
- Why do you need to do this?
- I just want to celebrate our wedding anniversary, Gregory. I want to celebrate our union. Why it has to be as unacceptable to you? People do it, you know? The Allender had a party on a yacht last year, was in the paper. And I had to go alone because you were working late.
- Let's not talk about it now, okay? - I made a gesture indicating Hyatt sitting at the end of the table was beginning to pay attention to our discussion. - Can you pass me the pepper, please?
- Now you care about being a good father? - He whispered - Just because we are discussing something that is important to me.
- I do not think the child should be present when we have our problems. It is a matter of common sense.
- Good sense would be present in his life and mine. I will not take that long, you hear me? - I preferred her to continue speaking softly, but the words were giving him strength as she was preparing to regurgitate his speech rehearsed for days.
That was it ... She was bothered by my absence and lack of affection for the simple reason that her friends were starting to notice, or perhaps had always noticed and only began to comment. So Elizabeth accumulated revolt for days until finally explode. He threatened to leave, file for divorce, releasing all the accumulated stress and everything returned to normal. At least until the next review venomous any friend and the next revolt. I could simply listen in most cases. At one time or another your chosen evil words led to a slightly larger fight, but she cried and apologized. And I ... I did not care, but wanted peace.
But after twenty discussions like that I was really close to losing his temper and tell her to fuck off, pack up and leave my house. With child present or not.
- You are far, away, or a little careful, do not give any value the family has. Hyatt had two games last month and you even know it. Do you know why? Because I do not even bother to tell more! You'll never even.
I got off the handle, tired, against the table.
- I will not because I'm working as a workhorse to keep their unaffordable luxuries, Elizabeth, forget that part? Because I can get the extract of your card to remind you. What kind of human being spends six figures in a flower shop?
- For the party of New Values, Gregory! You forgotten? It was for the party decoration to raise money for the cause! It was a noble reason.
- Noble would have been donating six digits at once, instead of spending with roses and petunias. It would have been better for the cause.
- I will not sit here and listen to you to judge me.
- Oh, yes you will! You mean you can judge me for working too hard to sustain their luxurious habits, but I can not judge you for being ungrateful?
- Mal-grateful?
- Mal-grateful. Now, where's Pepper crap? These eggs do not taste of anything.
- Do not have pepper. - He sank into the chair. - Do not put in this week's shopping list.
- And I can know why not? - Maybe my voice has left much ruder than I anticipated.
- Because you eat it too. No good for your health. I decided to not go more pepper in this house.
- Decided? It was resolved?
One day you will still get sick from eating pepper.
- And I told you I could solve for me? - I leaned my body towards him.
- I was just worried about you! - His body language indicated that she should be slightly scared. - You put pepper up on coffee, Gregory! This may not do well!
Do you have a weak stomach, Holt ... has to accept it!
- So, do not eat, Elizabeth! If you do not like, do not eat! I force you to eat, right?
- I was just thinking about your health.
- And he decided to take something that I like my menu without consulting me? Hyatt! It's time for you to go to school. - I rubbed his temples, before he began to curse in front of the child. - Go. Now.
He still stood watching me angry.
- You yell at him, scream at me. When will you stop to see that is destroying this family?
- The boy is rude because you educates evil. He needs limits.
- Eleanor said he can have whatever you want.
- Eleanor does not send this house. - She laughed and I had wanted to take down all the dishes from the table. - Go put pepper back in the list. You will have someone buy my fucking pepper today, okay? And if I see a fucking helicopter in this house, suspend all your credit cards.
- I just wanted to celebrate our wedding anniversary and you take care of your health better. - Ah ... she was going to victimize, now, would not you? - I'll send her to talk to you. Since not hear his wife might hear you bitch.
- Which is?
- Do not play sly, Gregory. I really do not know your girlfriend? Be sincere!
Now enough.
- Want to be honest, Lizzie? Well then let's be honest. You married me for money and this is what I give you: money. If you want affection, you have to do like me and get on the street. Not that you have not already done it, of course.
- Do not offend me! - He touched his chest and looked like she was taking acting class with Eleanor. - I'll have a conversation with Eleanor on what you have done and what happens in this house. I'm sure she'll have something to say about their behavior. Will put you in your place, do you apologize.
I never could explain why I started laughing.
I barely slept. I barely ate. I hardly fucked and fucked when, barely enjoyed. Everything in my life was bad and dry. I was worn out and angry, completely overpowered. Between a rude and snobbish brat I carried my name, the pathetic and superficial wife who only care about the social columns, the grandmother who tried to control my life and all known who thought she could.
The only fucking thing in my life that was paid that shit that pepper in my scrambled eggs in the morning.
It was that familiar taste that spent the day burning in my gut. It was just what I wanted. It was really too much to ask?
- Book the restaurant, Elizabeth. You want to celebrate our wedding? Let's celebrate.
- Oh, Greg. - She shook her blond hair - I'm sorry, too. I not want to fight. Thank you, dear, that was all ... - she liked to pretend that he loved me. It was bad about it and I felt the smell of their falsity in every word. The surname she loved. I loved very muc
h. It was the most prestigious women's high society and when a police investigation fell on a portion of Baxter's business in the worst three weeks of the corporation, she went away to a spa in the Swiss Alps and left me alone. Stressed. Tired out. Having that, above all, take care of a child and the house. She even called the first thirteen days. Eleanor thought it was because she would pretend we were already separated if the problem in Baxter Inc. was worse than we thought and we quebrássemos. She wanted away from me at that delicate moment.
My beloved wife.
- I'm not apologizing. I'm just giving you what you want to shut up and leave me alone.
- Why do you need to treat me like this?
It was shortly after our marriage ... Soon after Merryl's funeral. The last words my friend told me echoing in my ears. I was already married to his wife, did not he? At least I am going to try to be happy with it. I decided to make my friend Elizabeth. My partner.
It did not last two months.
She cared more in organizing parties in our home than turn it into a home. Marked interviews and photos to newspapers and even look me in the eye before or after. It was as if she had just won her favorite toy and wanted to show it to all her friends. I was the helicopter. Something she wore when it was convenient and then was kept and abandoned. But over time she realized I was not an object ... and our distance was beginning to be perceived by society. It was then that the passionate woman act began. And, honestly, just made my disgust for her increase.
- Talk was not your choice, remember? - I drank a sip of my coffee and folded the paper. All this discord early made me lose what little appetite I still had.
- That's not what I meant.
- That's exactly what you meant.
My watershed. The event that made me realize that my marriage to Elizabeth would always be just for appearances. I was sad, disappointed, frustrated. I sat one day beside him and wanted to talk. I still remembered his sour answer: She was the daughter of a wealthy family used to comfort and no problem. I watched in disbelief and said in so many words that I was a man and that a man should give his family what she needed and bring no problem home.
If you have a problem, deal with them alone and solve everything. This is how men do.
She kissed me after that. In the corner of his mouth. He said he was sure I was a strong man and that I would get, before kissing me. And I felt unclean. I wanted sand where his mouth had touched my body.
If Amanda could see me, I would die of grief.
- You want to talk, then we'll talk. Let's talk about your slut. You want to save this marriage? A good start is ending it. If you knew how humiliating ... - hid his eyes in the hands - Everyone already knows. And the bitch is keen to attend the same places I! The same places that I, Gregory! This is unacceptable.
- I think you are hearing impaired, Liz, because I never said I wanted to save this marriage.
- You ... - she opened her eyes and mouth.
- This marriage is doomed to disaster since we said our vows. I never loved you and you never loved me. I've given up pretending. Maybe if you do the same we could live our lives in peace.
I had already given up on happiness. I knew this part was unreal. But peace ... I would do anything for a little peace. I could not stand to hear the growls treble Elizabeth every day.
- You do not want to save this family. - Repeated - Greg, if not for me, for your child! At least for your child you have some respect!
- My son?
- Yes! Your son.
- Who is not being sincere now?
His eyes fluttered.
- What...
- The boy has black eyes, Liz. I have green eyes, you have blue eyes. I'm no expert in genetics, but ...
- It turns out! It may happen! - She answered too quickly. too high.
- Let's assume I believe. Let's assume it's true and what might happen. You know it can not happen? An infertile man play.
His eyes opened and I saw her eyebrows move forward on his forehead.
- No. - She whispered with a desperate smile.
- Even though Hyatt was born premature, which we know was not the case yet. I had temporary infertility and was still doing the treatment at the time it must have been designed. I had not yet, not nearly able to play. So imagine my surprise when you told me she was pregnant.
- It may happen.
- If we transássemos much. Perhaps. But ... how many times they were, Liz? I think we can still count on two hands, right? And I used a condom.
- I told you that she broke.
- Do you have an outlet for all. Less for the DNA test I did when the boy was born.
- You ... - she got up from the table.
- I had four of them. Just to make sure. And all say the same thing. You want to try and guess what?
Her lip quivered as she stared at the floor. Anyway she must have imagined that Monday would start, that should be the last on the list.
- Gregory, I ...
- Relax, Elizabeth. I will not say anything to Eleanor. If I said, she would insist that we had another son, and frankly, I think neither of us wants that. Hyatt will be a Baxter, will fit right. And ready.
- I want another child! - She threw herself against me and hung on my tie. - I want another, Greg. I want more. I think that's what this house needs. Both of us. We need this.
- Are you afraid that I impregnate my girlfriend and she has an heir Baxter, Liz?
I could see the answer in his eyes frightened.
- Will not happen. I've had my share of children with Hyatt. I do not want child. None. Never. My lineage dies with me. This rotten and cursed lineage.
- You are the father!
- I'm not. I've never been. And we both know it. I hate children, Liz. I think that's the harsh reality. I can not bear children. And it's not fair to him. It is not the fault of our life story is so fucked up. He needs the father and think you should present them.
- You are crazy.
- I love you. - I recited - It's all right. We are happy. I am a good and faithful husband. This is my son, grandmother. This is my heir, society. This is my perfect life ... I can not stand any more lies. I can not stand. I will not lie to Hyatt. I will not lie in my house. Outside, all right, I accepted. But here, I want peace. Next child's play? Take your real father to watch. I make you a promise, Elizabeth, from the bottom of my heart, I do not care. I just want peace. Peace and fucking my pepper.
***********
The accounts did not add up.
The accounts never closed.
But it was not always like this?
- Staying with white hair! - He laughed.
- You're late, kid! - I looked up and stretched his tongue.
- You want me to do for you? - He hung on high wooden bench next to me and I put my arm around her shoulders. I pushed the papers and hid it in a hug.
- If I want to do what?
- The bills! I was doing all, was not it?
- Do not. - I lied, kissing her cheeks - I was just organizing some things for her birthday party.
- Mother. - He escaped from my embrace and watched me that adult way he did. That honey-colored hair and goose bumps. Green eyes ... It was a father's thumbnail. A constant reminder. - No need.
- There needs what, kid?
- The birthday. - His eyes were steady. He had inherited all my security and all kind of ... It was an insane combination. - I know we did not okay, Mom. No need. Really. We celebrate double next year.
- Nothing like that. We celebrate this year, yes. - I ran a hand trying to organize the unruly wires ... but he would need gel. The straight hair too was never in place.
- Can I ask a gift, then?
- Of course! It should!
I pressed the hug again.
- I do not want Rossel, mother.
I felt my arms Rejoicing before squeezed my son's lips.
- Ty ... he's just a friend.
- I know. - His expressionless eyes showed me that he did no
t believe. I had been careful. As far as he knew, Rossel was just an old acquaintance. Or at least that's what I thought. - I do not like him.
I do not, cub.
- He's a good person. It helps us a lot.
- I just do not want him on my birthday, okay? And if ... if he wants to help me with something on my birthday ... I do not want. Promise?
Help out...
If he wants to help me ...
How did he know?
- Promise. - I licked his lips and took a deep breath - Now go get your things! I'll take you to the school bus.
He ran back to the room and I pulled the papers back.
Vance Rossel.
I would never have done it. I knew what he wanted. I knew exactly. Vance was the kind of rich and disgusting man who hunt women where you and I was one of his fighters. It would not last long. Two years is too long to deceive a man and keep him around. Even to me. Pretty soon, he would want to collect all the favors you have done me and I, so even a little innocent, I understand that pay.
I would never have done it.
Never.
But Ty was doing well in class. Too well.
Let's do an IQ test with him.
I knew my puppy was smart, but the result of the test that the director of his previous school suggested he did really surprised me.
I expected a 110 or 120 ... a smart kid above average. When the examiner informed me that he almost reached 200 points, I ...
I searched Vance Rossel.
I had to be subtle ... insinuate me in every way that I knew, and I knew many ways. It did not take long to hook it up and start getting all kinds of help to offer. He wanted to give me money, jewelry, travel ... The game we played was delicate. Most women accept something a man must soon get ready to go to bed with a good imagination and a considerable dose of lubricant. But I just needed one thing: a better school for my Ty. An excellent school that I was not able to pay, or the contacts to get the job.
He offered me what I can and I refused. He became increasingly creative and insistent as I played the part of the entire woman who saw him as a dear friend and never accept whatever it was. I waited patiently until he had the idea.
I can help with school Ty. I know some people and ...
This, dear ... this. This is what I want. Please and thank you.
My Life in the End Page 13