by Shona Husk
She nodded. They’d been putting so much pressure on themselves that somewhere along the way they’d forgotten it was supposed to be fun. They were doing something they loved and getting paid for it, yet it had become a chore.
‘So you really like chicks?’ Dan glanced at her; would things go back to the way they once had been? Or would it now be an extra wedge between them?
‘Yes.’ She put down her uneaten pizza. ‘If we’re done, I might head out. I’ve got some thinking to do. Ideas to hunt down.’ Her parents to speak to. Since people now knew, she needed to tell them. She didn’t want them hearing it second hand, that would be worse than her telling them.
‘If you find some stray ideas, let the rest of us know.’ Mike said. It was meant to be a joke, but no one laughed.
Gemma had never expected the conversation to go well, but she hadn’t expected it to go quite so badly. With her bedroom door shut she could hear her parents arguing…which was basically her father yelling and her mother standing there, not making a sound.
She never argued back. When Gemma did she told her to stop as it made him worse. Really? She didn’t see a difference. He was a narrow-minded prick who had never accepted that she wasn’t a boy. Her lips twisted into a grin. That she liked women didn’t seem to count in her favour in that respect. He didn’t like that she was in the band, travelling and going wherever she wanted, when she should be at home studying or settling down. She was the family black sheep and a disgrace.
Anything she said in her defence was ignored because he knew everything.
She shoved a few more things into the suitcase. The rest was clothing she could replace, or hadn’t worn in over a year. She’d lived out of a suitcase for so long that a whole wardrobe of clothes seemed extravagant.
Gemma opened her bedroom door.
Peter, the eldest of her younger brothers, blocked her path. ‘What have you done this time?’
She smiled sweetly and hoped that eventually he’d grow up to be a better man than their father. She wasn’t holding her breath. She levelled her gaze at him. ‘Told him I’m leaving.’
She’d said that after he’d called her a whore, which was after she’d told him that he didn’t have to worry about the guys in the band because she liked girls. Part of her had hoped that he’d be all right; as much as it hurt to admit, the reason she’d said nothing for so long was because she’d known this was exactly how he’d react. Her mother was nothing more than his worried shadow.
Travelling had been good for her, as she now had the strength to walk out the door and not look back. Twelve months, even six months ago, she couldn’t have done that.
‘Like you’re ever here anyway.’
‘Guess you get my room since you’re the eldest. Better get in quick.’ She stepped forward and he moved out of her way. Then she marched toward the front door. Her heart was hammering. Would she be able to walk out? He couldn’t lock her in…could he? She opened the front door.
Her father’s heavy footsteps came out of the lounge room. ‘Where are you going?’
Gemma put her key on the side table next to the bowl of car keys and house keys and shed keys. ‘I’m leaving. You’ve made it clear I’m unwelcome.’
She gazed at the man who seemed to spend half his life yelling at his kids and wife and the other half drinking and watching TV. Somehow he found time to work and sleep. His paunch was showing through the gaping buttons at his waist. She’d seen pictures of him and her mother when they’d started dating; he’d been happy then. Fitter. Apparently he used to swim. The stories her mother had told her when Gemma had gone to bed in tears, again, for some minor infraction that the boys got away with, seemed to be about another man.
‘You can’t leave. You belong here.’
The hell she did. She wanted more from life than what she’d get if she stayed. If her mother had left ten years ago, when she’d thought about it, things would’ve been so different. ‘Watch me.’
‘Don’t you walk out that door.’ He took another step forward, his finger pointed at her heart.
Gemma drew in a breath and turned away. She stepped toward the front door, then glanced over her shoulder. His face was turning red. She shouldn’t have looked back.
‘If you shut that door, you can never open it again.’ He jabbed at her, his eyes narrowing.
All he had to do was say that he loved her no matter what.
One breath. Two breaths. Three breaths.
‘Goodbye, Dad.’ She looked over his shoulder to her mother. She was crying, but she knew where to find her. She couldn’t say anything to reassure her without making it worse. If her father suspected that her mother had known, or worse, been involved in the dastardly plot to come out and then move out, there’d be more trouble. ‘Bye, Mum.’
She pulled the door shut. For a moment she stood on the step trying to breathe. Her ribs were breaking with the effort. The world seemed to be waiting for what she’d do next. The street was silent, no cars and no kids. All she had to do was take the first step. Her grip tightened around the handle of the bag and she dragged it down the top step toward her car.
Everything she owned was now either in her car or at Mike’s place. After hauling the bag into the backseat, she glanced back at the house she’d grown up in. The tree that she’d climbed. The now crooked letterbox where they’d tied balloons for her birthday parties. All of her happy memories were times when her father had been at work.
That was also when her mother had smiled.
Gemma sighed and got into her car. Hopefully Mrs Vincent’s offer of the spare room still stood, otherwise Mike’s place was going to be very crowded.
Chapter 9
Gemma signalled to the bartender for another beer. After dealing with her family, she wasn’t ready to face Kirsten’s. Coming here had seemed like a really good idea. This pub in the middle of Fremantle had once been their favourite haunt. The place where they’d come for drinks and to listen to live music, and later to play. She smiled as she remembered the excitement and the hunger they’d had. Everything had been in front of them and they’d wanted it all.
But they’d lost friends along the way. People who resented the hours or the travel or who were simply jealous. It hadn’t been easy, but they were on ladder…and the second rung was so far away. Maybe they didn’t want it bad enough and that was the problem, or maybe they knew what they’d have to give up to get there and they were running scared.
She drank her beer and watched the people in the bar for a while. Time by herself wasn’t as great as she’d thought it would be. It was giving her too much time to think.
She was temporarily homeless and drinking alone. Awesome.
At least no one recognised her so she didn’t have to deal with that. In that respect, coming here was exactly as it had always been. Great atmosphere and great music. But she wasn’t the same person who’d sat here twelve months ago. No. This time she knew who she was and what she wanted. She’d opened the door and set herself free of the worry about what might happen because it had happened. Now all she had to do was move forward.
The old desire rose up. She wanted to hold an ARIA. She wanted a number one single and to crack the US market. Or at least give herself those chances. It was that hunger that had been missing from her writing. She’d been full of fear and uncertainty instead of trusting her heart.
A woman walked in, her white blonde hair catching in the lights. Gemma’s breath caught as Kirsten walked toward her.
‘I knew you’d be here.’ She sat down next to Gemma.
‘I was hoping you’d find me.’ Gemma wanted to reach out and hug her, but didn’t in case people noticed. This time she wasn’t holding back because she was scared for herself, now she was worried about how Kirsten would feel about PDAs so soon…or if there would be any in the future. Ed’s appearance had shaken her this morning. That seemed like a lifetime ago. She sighed and took another sip of beer.
‘You could have told me where you were.
’ Kirsten gave her a gentle nudge.
‘I didn’t know until I ended up here. Then I was thinking.’ And I wasn’t sure if you wanted to be seen with me.
‘I spent the day hiding in the shed. Apparently my parents thought we got together years ago.’ Kirsten was smiling and keeping her voice light, but there was tension around her eyes.
Gemma smothered the giggle that wanted to bubble up. All this time she’d been trying to keep her feelings secret, and the Vincents thought Kirsten and she had been together. All this time she’d been trying so hard not to look at Kirsten that way, or think about her that way, determined to keep Kirsten as a friend and nothing more.
‘At least they didn’t kick you out.’ Gemma raised her beer in mock salute. Kirsten had the parents she wished she had.
Kirsten gave her a one-armed hug, then stole the beer and took a drink. ‘You might as well stay with me now.’
Warmth spread through Gemma’s body at the contact. It was slightly more than a casual hug. Kirsten’s hand lingered and slid around Gemma’s waist. Everything was going to be okay.
‘Oh yeah, your parents are going to love that.’ Not to mention Ed. Ugh. If Dan wasn’t already on Mike’s sofa she would have begged that place.
‘I mean it. Mum’s fine.’
‘I can stay in the spare room if that would be better.’ It might be easier for everyone until till everything settled in.
Kirsten shook her head. ‘No. I want to do this right… How did it go with Ed and the guys?’
Kirsten had been wanting to ask Gemma all day what she’d said to Ed, but they’d both been dodging her calls. She didn’t want Gemma and Ed to be at odds. She couldn’t remember ever seeing them argue, they were in some ways the perfect couple and the band always came first. Was that still the case, or was Gemma sitting here alone because she had bad news? Man, she was going to tear into Ed if he’d done something dumb like kick Gemma out. That would be so awkward, living at home with Gemma and running into Ed — Kirsten was pretty sure that Gemma wouldn’t like it either, it would be a constant reminder of what she’d lost.
‘I think he’s going to be fine.’ Gemma flicked her a smile. ‘He was freaked out this morning, but then I think he would’ve been freaked out if he’d walked in on you with anyone. He cares about you.’
‘And?’ Kirsten looked at Gemma.
‘We had a meeting today about the second album and I told all of them. It’s done now and I don’t have to worry about it any longer. Everyone I care about knows.’ She shrugged. ‘Some took it better than others.’
‘Were the guys okay?’
‘Yeah. They were.’ Gemma’s lips curved in a smile that was for no one particular. ‘I didn’t tell them I was dating you, that might have been a bit much for them to take, plus that’s not for me to say. I didn’t know if you’d be cool with that.’
‘Thanks.’ But the truth would come out eventually. They’d realise something was up, or Ed would let something slip. ‘So we’re dating?’
Gemma watched her carefully. ‘If that’s what you want.’
That was what she wanted. They’d be able to hang out and do whatever they wanted. It would be the way it used to be only with more. She couldn’t think of anyone else she’d rather be with. ‘Exclusive?’
‘That’s the only way I date.’
Kirsten could feel the change immediately in Gemma, a tension in her body. She turned and was surprised to see Mike and Dan walking in. For a second she almost pulled her hand away, but she caught herself. For who was she moving her hand, not her for her or Gemma. Why should she move it? If the guys in the band noticed, then they noticed.
She wanted to be Gemma’s girlfriend without hiding.
The guys saw Gemma, waved and walked over. Gemma placed her hand over Kirsten’s. Nothing needed to be said between them. They’d do this together and see where it took them.
‘Didn’t think we’d see you here.’ Dan said after he’d ordered himself a drink.
‘I came to see where we started, to see if something would spark.’ Gemma smiled as she finished the beer.
Dan nodded. ‘That’s what I was thinking. Did it work?’
Gemma smiled at Kirsten. ‘Yeah, I think so.’
Thanks for reading Out of Rhythm. I hope you enjoyed it.
If you’d like to know more about me, my books, or to connect with me online, you can visit my webpage www.shonahusk.com, join my newsletter http://mad.ly/signups/119074/join, follow me on twitter @ShonaHusk, or like my Facebook page www.facebook.com/shonahusk
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You’ve just read a book in my Face the Music series. The other books in this series are Out of Place, Out of Time and Out of Chances (coming from Escape Publishing in 2015).
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ISBN: 9780857992444
Title: Out of Rhythm
Copyright © 2015 by Shona Husk
All rights reserved. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of publisher, Harlequin Enterprises (Australia) Limited, Level 4/132 Arthur Street, North Sydney, NSW, Australia, 2060.