The Ten Year Affair

by Hope Raye Collins

  Alex got off the elevator at the 4th floor of the County-City building where the prosecutor’s offices were located. She was a little leery of what their reaction to her would be when they noticed the maternity attire she was wearing from her purchases last night. And would they put two and two together when she asked to see Ian? In all the years Ian and her had been on opposing sides of a case she had never had a reason to see him at his office. The tongues would be wagging when she showed up there today but she just didn’t care. She needed peace of mind. All her worrying and tears couldn’t be good for the baby.

  When Alex opened the door to the prosecutor’s office she was astonished at the atmosphere of frivolity she encountered and Ian Foster was in the middle of it all. As she tried to back her way out without being noticed John Marshall, the head prosecutor looked her way and spoke.

  “Alexandra! Come on in. Take a moment to congratulate the next County Prosecutor!”

  Everyone was smiling and slapping Ian on the back. John walked over to her and showed her the headline of the morning paper. ‘Marshall Reign as Prosecutor to End; Ian Foster Likely Candidate to Replace’.

  John was obviously very pleased.

  “The news came out a little sooner than we’d planned but we are all very excited for Ian and me and the missus can’t wait to retire to our warm condo in Phoenix!”

  John Marshall had been Creighton County’s Head Prosecutor now for nearly twenty-five years. It had always been speculated that when he stepped down he would support Ian’s candidacy and there was never any doubt that Ian would of course be willing to run for the office. From the look on his face now it was obvious he was upset that she was there. “Probably afraid I’ll tell about his impending fatherhood and hurt his image as the squeaky clean good guy,” Alex thought.

  John ushered her over to Ian and she saw the look of dread in his eyes. His eyes right now told her all she needed to know. He didn’t want her or the baby. He was ashamed of them both and worried what they might mean to his candidacy. She had nothing to say to him any more because he’d said it all with the look he was giving her now.

  She swallowed hard and gave him her best wishes.

  “Well congratulations Ian. I’m very pleased for you. I know you’ll do a fine job heading up this motley crew.” Everyone laughed and jeered at her. “I wish you all the best.” Tom Jensen came forward and placed his arm around Alex and smiled.

  “The only news I could think of that would possibly be better than this is finding out that Alexandra would be our new boss!” Tom teased and everyone cheered.

  “Gee thanks a lot guys,” Ian said. “It’s reassuring to know that I’m your second choice. But just so you know, if I win this election, my first priority as your head prosecutor will be to sway Alexandra McKinney Morgan over to our side.” Everyone cheered again at Ian’s words and Alex blushed as Ian walked towards her.

  “You guys are all a bunch of sweet talkers. It’s a good thing there are no women judges on the bench right now in Creighton County or I’m afraid I’d never get any decisions to go my way.”

  Ian stopped in front of her and she thought she would faint dead away if she didn’t get out of there...NOW.

  “I assume you came to see me Alex. Is Jacobs ready to deal?”

  “Oh please Ian. You wish! No, it’s nothing that important. It can wait. I don’t want to throw a damper on your little celebration here. Why don’t you call me when you get the chance?” Ha! She was sure it’d be a cold day in hell before he’d ever call her.

  “Actually Alex we were about to end this little impromptu, early celebration and get ourselves back to work weren’t we guys?” Everyone mumbled and started to make their way back to their offices. Tom came over and put his arm around Alex again and whispered to her. “You look great girl. I hope you’re happy. Don’t take any crap from him. If he gives you a hard time come see me.”

  Alex smiled up at Tom. “Thanks Tommy. It’s good to know I can count on you for support.” She really did have some wonderful friends. Even in the enemy camp. Tom was Ian’s best friend. If she couldn’t get Ian to be straight with her maybe Tom could shed some light on Ian’s strange behavior. Did Tom know she was carrying Ian’s baby? Had Ian told him?

  “Tom would you quit flirting with Alex and go get some work done. Come on Alex. My office is back this way. You’ve never been here before have you?”

  Tom winked at Alex. “Bye darlin’. Remember what I said.”

  Ian guided her by her elbow back to his office. Please god why did he have to touch her! His familiar scent was driving her crazy. She had missed him so much. She wanted to get out of here before she lost every bit of pride she had left but she was here now and she might as well go through with what she had set out to do.

  Ian shut his office door behind them and locked it. Alex turned quickly to face Ian.

  “Why did you lock the door? That’s not really necessary.” What the hell was he thinking?

  “Don’t worry babe,” he said with that knowing smirk. “I’m not planning on making love to you on my office desk. Though I’ve fantasized about it on occasion. I know you’re here to talk. I’ve missed you Alex.”

  He slowly approached her intent to take her in his arms but Alex dodged out of his reach. “I can’t let him touch me. Not if I want to think straight,” thought Alex.

  “Forgive me Ian if I have a hard time believing that. If you missed me you would have called when you said you would. If you missed me you would have shown up to my Grandmother’s for dinner like you said you would. Oh, by the way, Grandmother sends her best and her best happens to be that she wishes you would rot in hell. Missing me would be finding a way to speak to me for maybe five minutes when we’re in the same courtroom. What in the hell is going on with you Ian? I need to know. You’re ashamed of me aren’t you? You’re afraid and ashamed of the baby and me. I could see it on your face when I walked in here this morning. You were afraid people would guess you’re the father of my baby. You’re ashamed you got your girlfriend…forgive me I mean your mistress…pregnant and you’re afraid of what that could mean to your damn campaign! I’m tired Ian. I love you but I’m so tired of trying to figure you out and I’m through trying.” Alex turned to leave but Ian grabbed her by the arm.

  “Alex wait. Don’t ever talk about yourself that way. I don’t think of you as my mistress Alex. You must know that. Are you going to let me answer you before you storm out?”

  “Why should I? I saw everything I needed to see when I walked into this office this morning and saw the look on your face.”

  “I don’t know what you thought you saw on my face this morning Alex but it wasn’t shame. I’m not ashamed of you and the baby Alex. I was surprised when you walked in wearing that….those maternity clothes. You just took me by surprise that’s all. This is all moving so fast.”

  Ian drug his hands through his hair and shook his head.

  “Everything is just happening so fast. The baby, this prosecutor thing. I’m feeling a little overwhelmed.”

  “Overwhelmed? You’re feeling overwhelmed and because you’re overwhelmed you can’t see why it might break my heart not to see or hear from you in over a week? For you to stand me up and make me look like a fool in front of my grandmother of all people! Especially after I’d assured her---- I know what I’m doing Grandmother. You don’t have to worry about me Grandmother. Please get off his case Grandmother!”

  “Alex I’m sorry. I’m very sorry. I don’t know what else to say. What do you want me to say?”

  “What do I want you to say Ian? I want you to say that you love me; that you love our baby; that you want to get married and be with me and only me for the rest of your life. I want you to run around town and tell everyone that you’re going to be a father and how happy I’ve made you. That’s what I want Ian but I know it’s asking too much of you. For some reason you don’t want me to love you and you won’t let yourself love anyone. All you care about is your career and you k
now what? That’s okay with me now. It’s your life and if you want to miss out on everything else that can bring you happiness it’s your choice. I only hope that when you’re a lonely, bitter, old man you remember how you could have had a family who loved you and cared for you. I’m through Ian. I’m the one breaking it off this time. We’re through.”

  She couldn’t hold back the tears any longer but she refused to get hysterical until she could get the hell out of there.

  It broke Ian’s heart to watch the tears trickle down her cheeks. He wanted to kiss them away and tell her all the things she wanted him to but he just couldn’t. She was right. He was afraid. Afraid to have anyone depend on him. Afraid that if they did he would let them down because of his desire to further his career.

  “Alex. I care about you deeply. I’ve come as close as I possibly could to loving someone with you. But believe me. If I married you I know I’d let you down. I wasn’t meant to be a husband or a father but Alex I promise you I’ll do my best with the baby. You and the baby will never want for anything. I’ll take care of you both I promise.”

  “I can’t begin to tell you how insulting that is to me Ian. We don’t need you to take care of us with your money. What we need is for you to love us.”

  Her voice was trembling now and she could barely get the words out.

  “We’ll never want for anything, huh?” Except maybe your love. “For once I’m going to quit being selfish thinking of only my own needs. I have a baby to think of now and I plan to bring my baby up in a normal, healthy family full of love. After the Jacobs trial I’m going away for a bit. I’m giving Don and Peter my notice because I never want to set foot in a courthouse again if there’s even a small chance you would be there too. I never want to see you if I can help it ever again once this trial is over and I will spend the rest of my life trying not to hate my baby’s father. If you dare tell people that this baby is yours I’ll deny it so if you don’t want to look like a fool you better keep it to yourself.”

  “Alex you don’t mean that! You can’t mean that! I want to be a part of my baby’s life. I want...”

  “Stop it Ian. Do you think I care what you want when you haven’t ever during our whole relationship ever considered what I wanted? You want to be a part of our life? You want it all with no strings attached Ian. I understand that now. Well guess what? I don’t want to be a part of your life any more and if I can help it neither will my baby.”

  Ian couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He knew everything she said was true so he had nothing to say to reason with her. He had to let her go. He had to respect her wishes and let her go.

  “I’m sorry you feel that way Alex. I had hoped we could make this work for the baby’s sake but everything you’ve said is true Alex except that I’m not ashamed of you and I’m not ashamed of the baby. I’ll respect your wishes and keep our baby’s parentage a secret but I will be a part of the baby’s life whether you like it or not. I won’t run out on my child.”

  “Well I won’t have you break my child’s heart over and over again like you have mine because you’re unable to love anyone. You can fight me on this Ian but it’ll get ugly and then what might happen to your candidacy? What if the headlines read, “Foster Sires Illegitimate Child”? I want you out of my life Ian and I dare you to try to claim this child. It would give me great pleasure to ruin your precious career.”

  The tears were flowing freely now and Alex found a tissue and took a seat to try to pull herself together before she left the office. Ian continued to look at her with an astonished look on his face. There was no mistaking that she was mad as hell but he’d done some reading on pregnancy and how hormones affected a woman’s mood and he knew that Alex couldn’t mean anything she was saying. The woman he knew would not keep him out of his child’s life. She wouldn’t take pleasure in ruining his career. She was just upset. She would calm down and once she was thinking clearly she would realize how unreasonable she was being.

  “Alex if you don’t want me to tell anyone I’m your baby’s father I’ll respect your wishes for now. When you have a chance to calm down we’ll discuss this again. Right now I’ve got to get to court.”

  What he needed to do was get the hell out of there before he took her in his arms and told her how much he loved her, how he’d always loved her. She was giving him his out and he should take it. It would be best for her and their baby. Ian grabbed his brief case and without giving her another look headed for the door.

  Ian said, “You can let yourself out Alex.” Then he was gone.

  Chapter 14

  Alex lay in bed that night rehashing the harsh words she had spoken to Ian that day. She was so ashamed. So ashamed of how she had spoken to Ian. She had been so hurt and gotten way out of control. She would never keep Ian from his baby. Why had she said such a thing? Even though Ian couldn’t bring himself to love her she knew that he would not be that way with his own child. Ian was a good, decent man. He’d be a wonderful father. He’d be a wonderful husband too if he wanted to. He just had to want to. Her words had been so hasty and hateful. She owed him an apology but writing off their relationship had been the best thing to do. It would be especially hard to walk away from him now. She would see him all the time because of their child and in the courtroom. She couldn’t walk away from a job she loved just because he didn’t want her. How would she ever be able to move on and enjoy a normal life?

  Peter. Peter was offering her the normal life she longed for. If she really tried she could learn to love Peter the way she loved Ian. One thing she knew was that she had to get her life in order. All this worrying and emotional turmoil was not good for the baby. The baby she loved so much already. She had to break the news of her pregnancy yet to her parents and grandparents before they heard from someone else. Alex drifted off to sleep thinking of how eager she was for her baby to be born and how she hoped she would know how to be a good mother.

  ***

  Alex awoke the next morning with a start and immediately knew something was wrong. Something was terribly wrong. She felt dampness between her legs and when she lifted back the bed covers she saw that her nightgown was stained with blood. Panic rushed through her. She had slight cramps in her abdomen and she felt dizzy. She reached for the phone on her nightstand and dialed her grandmother’s number. She was afraid to move. Afraid of what harm she might cause to the baby. She tried to remain calm but the pain and the fear were too much to contain. This couldn’t be happening. God please don’t let me lose my baby...Ian’s baby. I love them both so much. Grandmother’s butler Thomas answered the phone.

  “Thomas? This is Alex I need to speak to Grandmother right away. Please hurry.”

  “I’m sorry Ms. Morgan but your grandmother is already out this morning.”

  Thomas could hear the panic in Alex’s voice as she spoke between sobs.

  “Is something wrong dear?”

  “My baby Thomas. There’s something wrong with my baby. I need Grandmother. Please find Grandmother!”

  “Alexandra where are you? Baby? What baby?”

  “My baby Thomas. I’m bleeding… I need help. Please Thomas...”

  Then she was gone.

  “Alexandra! Alexandra!” Thomas cried but he got no answer. The caller ID indicated she had called from her apartment. Thomas quickly called 911 to have an ambulance sent and was still making the call when Alex’s grandfather Chester Fairchild came into the room.

  “Blasted Thomas! What’s all the yelling about?”

  “It’s Alexandra Mr. Fairchild. She just phoned for Mrs. Fairchild and was crying and talking about her baby. She said she was bleeding and that there was something wrong with her baby and then it was as though she passed out in the middle of a sentence. I called 911 to have an ambulance sent to her apartment but I’m confused sir. Is Ms. Morgan expecting a child? She said she was pregnant.”

  Chester was just as bewildered as Thomas.

  “Thomas, I’m just as in the dark about this as yo
u. But I’m going to find out!”

  Chester quickly grabbed his keys and made for the door.

  “Thomas track down Mrs. Fairchild and tell her to meet me at St. Mary’s Hospital. I’m on my way to Alex’s apartment to meet the ambulance.”

  ***

  On her way to the hospital Julia Fairchild fretted over what she might find when she arrived. What was all this nonsense about? Alex was pregnant? She had had her suspicions when she had seen Alex and Ian Foster at Babies ‘R Us but she had accepted their explanation for why they were there. Alex would have told her wouldn’t she? Maybe not. Maybe she was afraid to tell Julia because she knew how much Julia disliked Ian. That poor girl. She had been dealing with this alone because she had not felt she could tell her grandmother without being criticized. She hadn’t felt Julia would be supportive of her. How did Alex not know that no matter what happened in her life, Julia would always love and support her? When this crisis had passed she had to make sure Alex understood that. She would quit being the judgmental old fool she was now so that her grandchild knew she could count on her.

  When Julia reached the hospital she was informed that Alex had been taken from emergency to the fourth floor. When she stepped off the elevator she saw Chester engrossed in a serious conversation with a tall, slender, middle-aged woman with short velvet black hair at the end of the hall.

  “Chester? Chester?” She ran to his side. “How’s Alexandra? Is she okay? Is the baby okay?”

  “She’s fine darling, she’s just fine and the baby’s fine too. Julia this is Dr. Robinson Julia’s doctor. Doctor, this is my wife Julia. Dr. Robinson was just telling me that what Alexandra has just experienced is normal for first time pregnancies and both mother and baby are fine for now. But she’s concerned about some other things. Go on doctor. What were you saying?”

  “Mr. and Mrs. Fairchild this has been very traumatic for Alex which has added to the problem which already existed. Alex has been battling high blood pressure with this pregnancy and I’m very concerned. I know that she has a very heavy caseload and I’ve been trying to get her to cut back. I know that she has a vacation scheduled in a few weeks but I’m not so sure that will be soon enough. Coupled with the bleeding she’s experienced today I very much recommend that she take a leave of absence from her job. While I don’t believe she needs to be under complete bed rest I feel she should spend as little time on her feet as possible and away from all sources of great stress. I just don’t see how she will make it through this pregnancy if she continues in her job as she is now. Do you have any influence over her? Is there any way you can talk to her and get her to slow down?”