The Ten Year Affair

by Hope Raye Collins

  “Yes, Alex I do understand. But what you have to understand and remember is I’m not Ian. Your relationship with him may have been based on nothing but sex but Alex you know I’ve loved you for years without ever having kissed or made love to you. My love for you has nothing to do with sex. But Alex if I can’t satisfy these urges I have for you I’ll go nuts. I’m a normal, healthy male. I need you Alex.”

  Alex stared into Peter’s bright green eyes and saw the desire burning. Desire was burning in her too. It’d been so long since she had made love. She was a normal, healthy woman too. Why did she feel as though desiring Peter was being unfaithful? Ian didn’t want her and she was engaged to the man for gods sake! He was so very sexy and attractive and she had felt a twinge of jealousy this morning when she had watched Angie and Peter laughing and talking together. Peter was right. There would be nothing wrong in making love to Peter and she could not expect him to wait forever; especially if the beautiful Angie was hanging around encouraging Peter’s attention. Maybe her feelings for Peter were starting to change. Maybe moving on with that part of their relationship could help her to forget Ian.

  “Peter, kiss me.”

  “Alex?”

  “I want you to kiss me Peter. You said you’ve never kissed me. Show me what it’s like to kiss you Peter. I want to know. Show me.”

  Peter eased himself off the corner of the desk and grabbed Alex’s hands and pulled her up from her chair bringing their bodies together. He entwined both hands in her golden curls grasping both sides of her head.

  “God Alex you are so beautiful. I’ve waited for this for so long. I...”

  Alex flinched as Peter closed his eyes and lowered his lips to hers.

  Peter opened his eyes and froze.

  “I don’t think you were trembling with passion just now Alex. Does the thought of my kiss disgust you that much? You really don’t want to kiss me.”

  He turned away from her and began pacing the floor.

  Alex was horrified at what she had done. She hated to see the hurt on Peter’s face but she was still hopelessly in love with Ian.

  “Peter I don’t know what to say. I’m sorry. It’s just that for so long I…”

  “That’s enough Alex. I’d like to say I’m surprised but I’m not. I’ve just been fooling myself that a marriage between us could ever work. I’ve gotta get out of here. I won’t be back the rest of the day.”

  Peter stormed from her office.

  “I’ll call you later.” He threw the words over his shoulder as he stalked out.

  ***

  He didn’t call her and he’d deliberately not picked up her calls. Peter was restless and couldn’t stop pacing and rehearsing the words he planned to say to Alex once she got to the office this morning. He loved Alex but he knew where her heart would always lie and it wouldn’t be with him. He was dreading facing her this morning. He dragged his hands through his hair as he paced his office. He’d been so sure when Alex had finally said yes that things would all work out as he had dreamed for so long.

  Alex walked into Grainger & Anderson dreading the conversation she knew she had to have with Peter. She had to break their engagement and allow Peter to move on with his life and find someone who loved him as much as she loved Ian.

  Alex braced herself and gently knocked on Peter’s door.

  “Come in.”

  Alex slowly opened the door and peered in and smiled.

  “Good morning Peter. Is it safe to come in?”

  “Yes, Lex. Please come on in. I won’t bite.”

  She pushed the door the rest of the way open and went inside leaving the door ajar.

  “Well, that’s good to know. You were so angry with me yesterday I didn’t think you’d ever talk to me again. I don’t know what to say Peter except that I’m sorry and I know that doesn’t mean much right now.”

  Peter rose from his desk to stand before Alex. He grabbed her at the waist and kissed her softly on the cheek.

  “It’s okay Alex. I don’t want to fight with you. What happened yesterday finally opened my eyes. I know you’ll never love anyone but Ian and I was foolish to think you could love me.”

  “But Peter...”

  “Please Alex let me finish before I lose my nerve. I’m trying to be gallant as much as it’s killing me. I’m through chasing you Alex. All I want is for you to be happy and if Foster makes you happy I understand. He’s Lauren’s father and as much as I hate to admit it he’ll be a good father and a good husband. He truly loves you Alex and I can’t understand what has taken him so long to realize that.”

  “Peter you act as though he has realized it. If so it’s news to me. I haven’t talked to him in months other than the insulting conversation we had the other night when the Mayor announced our engagement.”

  “I wasn’t going to tell you this Alex for obviously selfish reasons but I had a talk with Ian yesterday. He told me he was not going to allow me to take his family away from him and that he was going to fight to win you back. But he’s not going to get a fight from me Alex. Not anymore.”

  Relief washed over Alex’s body.

  “Peter I think we both knew when you stormed out of here yesterday that our engagement was over. I’m not sure that things will ever work out with Ian either but I do appreciate you telling me that.” Alex was afraid to read too much into what Peter had told her. She knew all too well how Ian’s feelings ran hot and cold.

  “Ian’s not a dumb man Lex. He’ll come around. I think seeing that he could actually lose you forever has finally sunk in. If you don’t mind, I’m going to see if Angie can go with me to the fundraiser tonight.” Peter left the office in search of Angie.

  The fundraiser for Ian. She had forgotten all about that party tonight. She may not have a date now but there was no way she wasn’t going to be there. Regardless of their history together Alex wanted to be there to support Ian for his candidacy. He was an excellent attorney and would do great things for the county in the position of County Prosecutor. Even though Peter said Ian had told him he was not going to let Peter steal his family, it still didn’t mean he loved her. She would accept no less from him. To marry or be with him simply because of Lauren would make her miserable. But what Peter had told her gave her some hope again. She was going shopping this afternoon to find the perfect dress to grab Ian’s attention tonight. She laid Peter’s ring on his desk before heading back to work.

  Chapter 20

  Ian had a lot of running around to do today to prepare for the fundraiser tonight but he knew if he didn’t see Lauren today he’d go crazy. He missed her gorgeous little smile and the smell of baby that was so comforting. He was hooked on her now just like her beautiful mother. The two ladies had him whipped and he wouldn’t rest until he had them tucked safely in his home, night after night. Just this morning he’d closed on the purchase of a cozy little home with plenty of bedrooms for Alex and him to fill.

  Ian rang the bell of the Fairchild home and Thomas quickly answered.

  “Hello Thomas. I’m here to see the littlest, lovely lady of the house. Is she available for visitors?” he teased.

  “Why certainly Mr. Foster. She’s just about to be put down for her nap however. Mrs. Fairchild is in the nursery with her now.”

  “Thanks Thomas. I’ll just run on up.”

  Ian ran up the stairs with a lively step. Even having to see Julia wouldn’t dampen his spirits. He was getting closer and closer to making his dreams come true. Besides, Julia had been a bit more congenial to him since Lauren’s birth.

  Julia was sitting in the rocking chair gently burping Lauren when Ian walked in.

  “Hello Julia. How’s my little girl?”

  “Shhhhh. I’m afraid she’s very close to sleep. You picked a bad time to come for a visit.”

  “Julia, please don’t be cross with me. I’m in a good mood today and I’d like to stay that way. May I hold her?”

  Reluctantly Julia rose from the rocker and handed Lauren to Ian.
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  “Like I said. She’s very close to sleep. Once she falls asleep put her down in her crib. We don’t want her getting use to sleeping in someone’s arms or she’ll never want to sleep in her crib.”

  “Whatever you say Julia. Thank you. I won’t stay too long.”

  “I’m sure you won’t. Lots to do today I’m sure with preparing for your fundraiser tonight. Surprised you even had the time to stop in.”

  Ian ignored Julia’s little jibe and sat in the rocker with his little sweetheart and gently rocked her as she smiled up at him fighting to keep her eyes open. He’d always have time for his little girl. She was so beautiful and she was his. Now he needed to make her mother his.

  “Please Julia. You’re not going to get a rise out of me today. I just want some time with my lovely daughter.”

  With a humph Julia left the room.

  “Hi, little one. How’s my little sweetheart today? Hmmm you smell good. I think about how you smell all the time and it always brings a smile to my face.”

  Ian continued to talk to her forever. Even after she had long gone to sleep. He remembered what Julia had said to him about putting her to bed but he didn’t care. He wanted to be close to her and was finding it hard to tear himself away. If she got spoiled so what?

  Julia knew Lauren had to be sleeping and went to chastise her father for not putting her to bed. She paused outside the door when she heard Ian talking.

  “I have a little surprise for you and your mother Lauren. I bought us a house today where we’re going to live happily ever after and you’ll have lots of brothers and sisters. We’re going to be so happy the three of us. I’ve been such a fool with your mother. I’ve treated her so badly and been such an idiot but I’ve loved her my whole life and I hope it’s not too late for her to forgive me. I’m going to spend my whole life loving her and making up to her for all the pain I’ve put her through. I was a fool to think I could ever live without her. And now she’s given me the greatest joy of my life and because I’m a fool you don’t even have my name. I hope you’ll forgive me when you’re older Lauren. Regardless of what’s happened I’ve always wanted you and loved you. I hope you’ll believe that. Now if I’m going to get to work on winning your mother back I better get going.” Ian rose to lay Lauren in her crib. “I promise I’ll make this happen for us Lauren. I want to be a family more than anything in my life right now. And I promise I’ll never hurt your mother ever again.” He kissed Lauren and laid her on her back and continued to gaze down on her. “I love you baby. Goodnight.”

  Julia quickly walked down the hall to her room wiping away the tears. That moron really did love Alex. She knew it. The day she saw him cry like a baby in Alex’s arms and now this. But what about dear Peter? Alex would never be truly happy with Peter if she loved Ian half as much as he loved her. She regretted having pushed the relationship with Peter on Alexandra. She knew whatever she did she was not going to interfere in Alex’s life any longer. Whatever will be, will be.

  ***

  Alexandra was reeling with excitement as she prepared for the fundraiser. If what Peter had told her today was true, what would happen when Ian found out her engagement was off? She had been rejected so many times by Ian that she was afraid to hope any more. Not only did she love and need Ian so badly but so did Lauren. Her little girl’s bright blue eyes lit up and she flapped her arms excitedly every time she saw her Daddy walk into the room. Lauren gets just as excited as me at the site of her father Alex thought. Her heart ached remembering how it felt to be with Ian before their falling out. How wonderful it was to lie in bed cuddling and talking. Watching old movies in bed on Sundays and loving each other between commercials. She was willing to forgive him all the heartache he’d caused her if they could be a family and share those kinds of moments again. “Alex you fool!” she thought. “Don’t get your hopes up just to be disappointed all over again.”

  Alex studied herself in the mirror. If Ian Foster didn’t want her as his wife than she was going to make him regret his decision tonight. Alex intended to turn on the charm and have Ian drooling like a baby.

  Alex had lost all the baby weight she had gained and thanks to 200 sit-ups and thirty minute jogs on the treadmill every day her tummy was flat and taunt. She had even started a light weight program and she had notice how sculpted and lean her body had become. Alex had also included swimming in her workout regime and sported a deep tan thanks to spending every afternoon in her grandparents’ pool. The afternoon sun had also brought natural highlights out in her soft, blonde hair. For a long time now Alex had lacked the self-esteem she needed to think of herself as attractive. But tonight she did feel beautiful and confident.

  Alex had gone shopping and chosen a light blue strapless dress that fell an inch or two above her knees. Because of her tan she had no need for confining panty hose. She slathered lotion that was the scent of Ian’s favorite lilac scented perfume on her entire body. She was pulling out all the stops tonight. She would wear the diamond stud earrings and pendant necklace that her parents had sent her when Lauren was born.

  Alex missed her parents terribly. Her father had been unable to get away when Lauren was born and her mother was afraid to travel so far without him. Business had kept them in Australia several months longer than they had thought. They still had not seen Lauren except in pictures that Alex sent to them via e-mail almost weekly. She knew it was breaking their heart not to see their first grandchild and it had been rough on Alex not having her mother to lean on during her pregnancy and estrangement from Ian.

  Ian’s parents, Louise and Grant, on the other hand were spoiling their granddaughter. Whenever Ian would bring Lauren home from a visit with his parents he would deliver the newest little toy or outfit Grandma Foster had felt compelled to buy. When Alex protested that it was getting to be too much Ian shrugged and said there was no use trying to stop his mother. Louise felt horrible that she was limited to seeing Lauren only every other weekend and this was how she compensated. Alex had told Ian that his parents could come by whenever they wanted to visit with Lauren as long as they called ahead. Ian said his parents didn’t feel right about intruding, especially since she and Ian weren’t, as his mother put it, ‘a real couple’.

  Alex was jolted from her thoughts by the doorbell ringing. She threw on her fluffy terry cloth robe and went to the window of her second floor bedroom to find out who had arrived. Alex couldn’t believe it. She was elated to see Thomas unloading suitcases from a taxi and her grandparents were greeting her parents with hugs and kisses. Alex quickly threw on a nightie and tightened the sash of her robe and ran downstairs. It was as if her thoughts summoned them there. It had been nearly a year and a half since she had seen her parents. Maybe this was an omen. Maybe things were going to go her way tonight.

  Alex burst through the front door and ran outside straight into her father’s arms.

  “Oh, daddy. You’re here. You’re really here.” Alex’s mother quickly joined in the hug and tears were flowing from the whole lot of Morgans.

  “Yes baby we’re home and we’re here to stay,” said her father. “My business in Australia is done and if you don’t take us to that grandbaby right away your mother and I will just burst!”

  Alexander Morgan was the happiest man Alex knew. He was not only a tall, attractive, slightly balding man but he was always jolly and reveled in his family’s love. Small patches of gray accented the sides of her father’s soft brown hair making him look very distinguished. She was very proud to be named after such a wonderful, endearing man. Her father always treated her mother so tenderly and Alex remembered telling her father when she was little that she was going to marry him when she grew up.

  Claire Morgan was a slender five foot seven, which was a startling contrast to her six foot two father. Her blonde hair was styled in a short bob and Alex remembered fondly that it had no longer been its natural color now for the last five years when her mother decided that the gray had started to take over and she wasn’
t ready to look like a grandmother yet. Well, ready or not Alex had made her a grandmother and she couldn’t wait to show off her little gem to her parents.

  Alex led her parents into Lauren’s room and Lauren was standing in her crib laughing and bouncing up and down. Lauren often awoke and cheerfully played like that in her crib for a while before yelling for attention.

  Claire found it hard to speak when she caught site of the little angel. She could hardly see through her tears. She went right to Lauren and picked her up from her crib.

  “Oh, Alexandra. What a precious little thing. She is the spitting image of you at this age. Isn’t she Alex?”

  Alexander wrapped his arm around Claire and wiped tears from her cheeks with his handkerchief. He kissed Lauren and smiled over at Alex extending his hand for her to come to him. He wrapped his other arm around Alex kissed her forehead and enfolded her to his side.

  “You did good kid. Real good. I’m so proud of you,” he said choking back tears.

  Alex couldn’t take it any more and she burst into tears and sobbed uncontrollably in her father’s arms causing Lauren to do the same.

  “There, there now Lauren,” Claire cooed at her granddaughter. “Mommy’s okay. She’s just happy to see her daddy. I bet you’re hungry. Let’s go see what Grandma can find for her hungry girl.”

  Claire placed a kiss on Alex’s cheek as she turned to go. “It’ll be okay sweetheart. Have you ever known a time when your father couldn’t make things all better? Talk to your father.”

  Once her mother had left the room and Alex’s tears had subsided her father grabbed Alex’s hands in his and gently prodded Alex to tell him her troubles.

  “What’s wrong dear? Last time we heard from you things were going well for you. Is it Peter? Are you having problems?”