by Schulte, Liz
I pressed my finger to my lips and the phone harder against my ear.
“We’re not—”
“Shut up.” I held my breath and listened. There was a lot of shuffling and banging. Then the voice said, “What’s that?”
Footsteps sounded closer to the phone. The line went dead. Shit. I frowned at Baker. “Busted.”
He took my arm and pulled me into another alley before he transformed back into himself. He snatched my phone and smashed it on the ground.
“Hey!”
“They can trace you with this. Were you seen?”
“No.” I followed him down the street. In his own way, Baker was as overprotective as Holden. It was sweet but annoying.
“How did you know there were four people in there? I only saw three.”
“I could feel them. One was really strong. I got out just before he came in.”
“How do you know?”
“His presence was overwhelming and I smelled him—it was like sulfur. Then a voice told me he was coming.”
“A voice?”
I pressed my lips together. I hadn’t meant to tell anyone about the voice yet.
“What voice?”
“I don’t know. It started today. I don’t think it can hear me, but I can hear it and it knows that.”
He nodded and pushed me down the sidewalk. “Have you told Holden? What does he think?”
“Not yet.” I held up my hand to stop Baker from lecturing me. “I know how Holden is going to react and I want to figure out who it is before we go over the deep end with this. I just need a little time.”
Baker pursed his lips.
“Oh, don’t you give me that look. You’ve been dating his great-whatever niece for how long?”
“It’s not really the same thing.”
“I’m not doing anything risky. I’m pretty sure the voice is angelic, but I don’t recognize it—it’s too soft. I hear it better when the angel part of me is near the surface. I think whoever it is is helping. And right now we could use all the help we can get.”
“I don’t like it.”
Well, this wasn’t Baker’s problem. It was mine. It wasn’t like I planned on never telling Holden—I would. He had just been driving me crazy for the past year trying to be safe rather than living our lives. Right now, maybe being safe was the best idea, but having more people to depend on had to be better than fewer. If there were other angels willing to help, I had to explore that option. “I really don’t think it’s any of your business.”
“Exactly what did you feel when it talked to you?”
I sighed. “Nothing. It pointed out the demon possessing the guy. Then it warned me before the other demon came into the room. I didn’t feel anything. I think it wants me to meet with it, but I haven’t gone.” I omitted the yet part of that sentence.
“Don’t go until you know for certain what it is. And I think Holden should be aware of this.”
I held up my hands. “He will be. I won’t go until I know.”
“What else? What did you feel inside the church?”
“Four demons and something unholy. The voices on the phone said they were looking for a weapon to kill the angel.” I licked my lips. “I take it that’s me.”
“So they don’t have it yet, but they must be close or they wouldn’t be congregating. Call the boss.”
I rolled my eyes but opened my thoughts back up to Holden.
“Where have you been?” he asked immediately.
“With Baker.”
“And?”
“And nothing.” We were doing our thing. I knew you were with the jinn and I didn’t want to disturb you. I cringed, hoping he couldn’t sense the lie—well, partial truth. I had been with Baker and we had been working and I had known Holden was with the jinn. I would tell Holden about Baker and Maggie, just not yet.
Don’t shut down again. It’s worse not knowing how you are than dealing with the noise.
Okay, I said. Holden felt tense. What’s wrong?
We should probably talk.
“WHAT DID YOU find?” Holden asked as Olivia and I walked through the door.
“A church where the possessed are flocking,” I told him.
“How do you know?” Femi asked.
I hooked a thumb at Olivia, who was now standing by the boss, staring daggers into him. Something was amiss, but she wasn’t talking and he was stone. If they were having one of their silent conversations, I couldn’t tell. “She watched a demon possess a person in a bar and then we followed him to the church.”
“Did they see you?” Holden glanced between us.
Olivia sighed and tore her gaze away. “I don’t think so, but they know what I am. They’re looking for a weapon to defeat an angel. We figured that’s probably me, but at least we know they don’t have it yet.”
Holden nodded. “Do I even want to know how you came about this information?”
She rolled her eyes. “Misdirection isn’t going to work. You’re stalling.” She looked right at him. “You said we needed to talk. Tell me what happened.”
The picture was becoming clearer. She had been quiet most of the way back. Something had set her on edge and all signs pointed right to the boss, which was my cue to get the hell out of here. Domestic disputes were more their thing than mine.
“The jinn want to join us. I told them we would consider it,” he said evenly.
Holden wasn’t one to mince his words, but there had been probably better ways to present this idea to someone in Olivia’s situation. She had a natural reaction when it came to demons and jinn. Her knee-jerk would always be to destroy or avoid. However, on the flip side, this was great for us. There was no way we could get in front of this without them. We needed more eyes on the street and more ears listening to the buzz. We’d be fools not to take them up on the offer.
Olivia tugged at her lower lip then pinched the bridge of her nose. “Why would they want to do that?” she asked softly, sending the boss a dangerous look. “Jinn aren’t really self-sacrificing. The demons don’t have a weapon that would work on me.”
“Yet,” he said. “They’ll find one, Liv. Do you think we can fight them off forever?”
She pressed her lips together. At least she wasn’t shutting him out completely. “What do they want in return?”
“To be free.”
Olivia visibly paled, which was saying something since she was white as a ghost normally. I could see the angel angrily fluttering in her eyes at the thought of freeing the jinn. I whistled through my teeth. Honestly, that was a bit much even for me to stomach.
“You have something to say, Baker? Don’t hold back.” Holden shot me a ‘shut the hell up’ look despite his words.
“Not a chance, boss. You’re on your own.” Olivia had more dirt on me now than Holden had ever had. There was no way I would cross her.
He shook his head. “We’ll see you guys tomorrow.”
There was a storm brewing, and Holden was no dummy. He would have an easier time handling her alone than with us here, though Olivia didn’t look like she was in the mood to be handled. Last time Holden tried to free the jinn, she ran away and he backed down. This time, she really didn’t have a choice. We needed their help desperately, and they knew it. Olivia had to get on board or all of our days were numbered.
Femi grinned wide as she strutted toward the door. I followed her, still sore as hell.
“Baker,” Holden called out when I reached the door. I stopped and looked back. “Try not to get your ass kicked tonight.”
“You betcha, boss.” I saluted both of them and closed the door behind me. Hopefully, the angel was too pissed at whatever angle she thought the boss was running to deem tonight the best time to tell him about Maggie.
Maggie.
What was I going to do with her? I had my doubts that Olivia would ever free the jinn, and I couldn’t blame her for that. They weren’t to be trusted. The complete chaos and havoc they could lay on the Abyss would
be staggering. Without their help, though, we had to find a way to either appease Hell or make them not care about Olivia and Holden. She could have walked into the church today and cleared out the cell, but another one would have risen in its place. And there was no guarantee we would find the next one or that this was the only demon hideout in the city. There was absolutely no way I could string Maggie along for an endless amount of time. Plus, her life was short. Despite Olivia’s hopeful attitude, the responsible thing to do was cut Maggie loose. She didn’t need to be introduced into this world.
I walked up the brick steps of my house, legs heavy. All I wanted to do was crawl into my bed and never get out. My house was small and it wasn’t in a great part of town. It had been Shorty’s house, and when he died, I’d inherited it. I had spent some of my happier years here, and no matter how bad the area got, I wasn’t leaving. They would have to drag my cold, dead body out of this neighborhood. I made it two steps into my bedroom and dropped down onto my bed before there was a knock on my door.
“Fuck,” I groaned with my arm over my face. People coming to my house unannounced was always a risk, which was why I didn’t share my home address with anyone. As a shifter, I didn’t interact with everyone as the same person. The situation and what I needed from it often determined my appearance. At home, I was just me, which no one knew—for my safety as well as theirs. I contemplated ignoring the knock and going to bed, but it persisted.
“Baker, are you home?” Maggie’s voice called out as she banged again.
I shook myself and donned the Baker she was used to seeing without delay. This was no place for her to be at this time of day. I opened the door and she smiled, relieved as she rushed inside.
“I was worried I had missed you,” she said, slipping inside. She placed a cool hand on my arm. “Are you all packed?”
I blinked a couple times as her fingers lightly squeezed my forearm. It was damn good to see her standing in my house. The clutter of my mind and the soreness in my body disappeared when I looked at her. I was tired of just scraping by in life. When I looked at Maggie, I could see a future that was just out of my reach—always out of my reach. Who knew I would want the white picket fence and one woman to wake up with, but I did. It was dangerous.
I slipped one hand around her waist, pulling her closer. My other hand cradled the back of her head as I kissed her hard, relishing in the mix of pleasure and pain because at least it made me feel something other than half-dead. Her mouth was velvety and warm, inviting me to take it. Her soft moan clenched me deep inside. I lifted her off the ground, my hands running up the length of her thighs, pushing the skirt out of my way as she wrapped her long legs around me. Her fingernails dug into my back through my shirt. This woman was worth every risk I was taking by being with her.
Kissing her harder and longer, I backed her against the built-in shelving around the television. I peeled off my t-shirt and she hastily unbuttoned her top. I looked down at her luscious, kiss-swollen mouth, and she smiled just a little, almost like a dare. I was always controlled with Maggie, gentle. I didn’t want to be either tonight. She ran her fingernails down my chest hard enough to leave a mark and squeezed her legs around my hips as she undid the top button of my jeans. My lips took her again as I spread her arms out wide until she gripped the shelves behind her. Her satiny smooth skin tasted like vanilla, begging to be devoured.
The thin scraps of material of her underwear gave way with a hard tug and I buried myself inside of her. Her head went back and she shifted the position of her hips slightly, pushing me deeper. I closed my eyes, enjoying the feel of her surrounding me for a few seconds before I began to move in long, deep strokes until she begged me to go faster. Her hips rocked with mine, taking us higher and higher until we tumbled over the edge, sweaty and sated. She collapsed against me, arms cradling my head to her still heaving chest. All of my muscles were relaxed, and for the first time today, I wasn’t thinking about anything.
“I’m going to come with you to your conference.” She ran her fingers through my hair and my mouth went dry. “I asked off of work today.”
All my worries, all the decisions I need to make, came crashing back down on me. I backed away slightly, letting her back down.
She smiled widely. “I knew you would be surprised, but good surprised, right?”
“Yeah, it’s great,” I heard coming out of my mouth, but there was really nothing great about it. My ears roared. I was in pickle.
“Where are we going?”
I ran my fingers through my hair, only half listening. “When?”
She laughed and kissed the side of my neck. “For the conference, silly.”
I willed my cell phone to ring. If there was ever going to be a good time for Holden to interrupt, it was now, but it remained stubbornly silent. I really only had one choice. I scooped her shirt off the floor and handed it to her. “Um, we need to talk.”
Her face fell. “You don’t want me to come, do you?”
“It’s just—” Avoiding relationships was a better idea than being in them. Why had I done something as stupid as break my own rules? “I can’t spend any time with you. I would hate for you to get there and have to sit by yourself all day.”
“I don’t mind. I have my Kindle packed. I will read and we can be together in the evening. Unless you don’t want me, that is.”
“Maybe some time apart would be good.” My heart pounded. Nothing in me wanted to do this, but I had to. “You deserve someone better. I just can’t be the person that you need or deserve.”
She stared at the floor. I couldn’t stand to look at her for any length of time knowing I was breaking her heart. “There is no conference, is there?”
“No.”
“And you aren’t a doctor.”
I didn’t say anything.
She took a deep breath. “I thought it was strange that you lived in a place like this.” Her lip curled as she looked around the room. Those accusing eyes turned back to me. “You’ve lied to me the whole time.”
“Not about everything.” It was the only thing I could say. I didn’t want to hurt her, but she couldn’t stay and I couldn’t leave. We had no choice.
Her gaze shifted to the bookshelf then to my fully clothed body then back to the bookshelf. Her cheeks turned pink and her eyes liquefied. “That was goodbye sex, wasn’t it?” She shook her head, a shaking hand over her mouth. “Stupid, Maggie. Stupid.”
If it had been goodbye sex, I wasn’t aware of it. All I knew was that I’d needed her in that moment and she’d been there. But I couldn’t both smooth this over and keep her safe. I had to choose. “It’s really for the best.”
“Do I know anything about you at all? Is Baker your real name?”
“I’m sorry, Maggie.” I tried to take her hand, but she pulled away.
“I can’t look at you.” She buttoned her shirt and grabbed her purse, heading for the door.
I clutched my hand into a fist. I wanted to stop her, to explain, but I had to let her go. The sound of the door shutting reverberated in my heart. I locked it then once again collapsed in the bed, but I couldn’t sleep. I lay there with my eyes open, staring up at the ceiling. My eyebrows pulled together. If I stayed here, I was going to go crazy. I got up, showered, and left.
Olivia was hearing voices. If I couldn’t sleep, maybe I could get to the bottom of that. There was only one place where I could get information on angels, and I hadn’t stepped foot there in over a century. They might have kicked me out once already, but I had to try. My phone buzzed. Now Holden called, just when I no longer needed the distraction.
“Couldn’t have called me twenty minutes ago, boss?”
“Why? What happened?”
I pressed my hand hard against my forehead and forced a smile even though no one was there to see it. “Nothing. What do you need?”
“We have to talk, but not at the apartment or over the phone.”
“Okay. Where?”
“Your house. W
here is it?”
Well, this was a first. I hesitated just a moment before giving him my address. As I rattled it off, I realized I’d never given my address to anyone—including Maggie. How in the hell had she found me? I had been so distracted and happy to see her that I hadn’t thought about why she shouldn’t have been there.
“I’ll be there in ten—make that twenty minutes. Quintus just showed up,” Holden said.
“And you’re going to stay to chat with the guardian?” My heart stilled. Quintus had been watching Maggie. What if he was there to tell Holden about me?
“Depends on what he has to say,” Holden said.
Oh shit.
“I CAN’T DO it.” Olivia shoved her hands against her hips when the door shut. “I understand how this could help, but I don’t understand how you think I could do this.”
“Just hear me out before you rush to judgment.”
She nodded and went to sit down. She felt strongly about jinn. Liv had a hard time separating them from demons, and maybe she wasn’t really that far off base. A lot of jinn were cruel, callous, and sociopathic—but a lot of people would have described me that way too. Directing Olivia to where I needed her to go wasn’t always easy. She could spot the disingenuous at a hundred paces. The best way to get her to consider anything was to make it emotional—unfortunately, emotion wasn’t something that lived near the surface for me. I had to make the jinn sympathetic if I had any hope of getting her on board with this.
“You asked me once what it was like to be a jinni, and I showed you, remember?”
She nodded, those aqua eyes staring into my soul as they always did. Even when my soul wasn’t in my possession, she still saw it.
“I showed you what it was like to be a free jinni. At the time, I was still coming to grips with the changes in my life and I didn’t really recognize them for what they were. You asked me if it was different and I told you no, but I was wrong. It’s completely different now.”
Her eyes softened. “How?”
“The beast is gone.” I rubbed my lower jaw, trying to think of a way to describe the change so she would understand it. “Remember the first time you came into my mind?”