Stars Collide

by H. P. Munro

  Running her hands through her loose curls Freya sighed, “I never reciprocated anything, all I offered was friendship. I love you too much.” She reached out to touch Jordan’s arm, “I never cheated.”

  Jordan looked down at the hand on her forearm, “What about lying?”

  Dan was standing to the side hopping slightly from foot to foot hoping that Freya wasn’t about to walk into the trap that he’d unwittingly set in motion earlier.

  “I’ve never lied to you,” Freya said sincerely.

  “When are you coming home?” Jordan asked, a hint of steel in her tone.

  Dan’s body withered as the trap sprung.

  Freya’s eyes narrowed realizing what had happened, she turned and glared at Dan. “You told her?” she accused.

  Jordan pulled her arm away from Freya. “Don’t blame him, you should have told me,” she yelled.

  Still glaring over at Dan, Freya said calmly, “Dan, could you leave us alone?”

  Dan nodded. Relieved at an escape route, he took a step.

  “No Dan, I want you to stay,” Jordan said still staring at Freya, her jaw set.

  Dan stopped and brought his foot back.

  “Go Dan!”

  Dan nodded and repeated his step as Freya glowered at Jordan.

  “Dan. Stay!” Jordan yelled.

  “No idea how to deal with this,” Dan replied, frozen in mid-step watching as the two woman stood glaring at each other. “Running through the possibilities, coming up blank,” he grimaced. “How about I leave, but just to the bedroom and I put my ear to door so I hear everything?” he suggested, pointing desperately towards his bedroom. Getting no response, he hotfooted it into the bedroom closing the door behind him and resting against it. “All I wanted was sex,” he moaned to himself, thumping his head against the door.

  “I’m sorry, I wanted to tell you,” Freya dropped her eyes to her hands.

  Resuming her watch on the street below, Jordan clenched her teeth, “So why didn’t you?”

  Freya closed her eyes, took a breath and straightened herself up, “I was scared how you’d react.”

  Before Jordan could reply, she held a hand up, “I spoke to Dominick. There’s no work for me in LA and it was either go back to nothing or stay here and work.”

  “So I’m nothing?” Jordan gave a sarcastic laugh.

  “That’s not what I meant and you know it,” Freya sat down on the arm of Dan’s sofa. “I took the option partly because I was mad at you not coming here during hiatus.”

  Jordan spun round, “I couldn’t come for six weeks so you sentenced us to another what, three months?” She waited to see Freya’s reaction, seeing no response she asked quietly, “Six?”

  When Freya’s head dropped, Jordan shook her head in disbelief.

  “Really Freya, another six months of living like this.”

  Freya looked up. Her mouth opened to speak but no words were coming to her mind to defend her actions.

  “The distance is driving me insane Freya. Anytime you mention another woman I’m having sleepless nights through jealousy and I trust you, I do,” her tone softened. “I’m sorry about earlier but that’s what it’s doing to me. It’s turning me crazy!”

  Freya nodded, understanding where Jordan was coming from as her own demons had also been playing with her mind. “I thought that you taking the film was your way of avoiding coming out here. It’s doing crazy things to my mind too,” she admitted.

  Jordan left the window and sat down on the sofa. “I counted up the days we’ve spent together since we started to see each other. We’ve been apart more than we’ve been together.”

  “I hate that I don’t get to see you and that we have to use email and phones,” Freya admitted slipping down beside Jordan from the arm of the chair.

  “We’ve become pen friends with occasional benefits,” Jordan sighed. “I could cope knowing there was an end in sight Freya, without that I’m not sure I can take it,” Jordan confessed, a tear dropping from her face onto her hands still folded in her lap clutching a wad of tissues.

  Freya felt her heart break watching Jordan cry. She edged towards her on the sofa and took her in her arms. “I couldn’t cope if we end up tearing each other apart and hating each other,” she said swallowing back her own tears as she comforted Jordan.

  “So what do we do?” Jordan asked, already knowing the answer.

  “We love each other,” Freya replied. “We love each other enough…to let it go,” she allowed the tears to fall unchecked as she held Jordan.

  They stayed holding each other tightly on Dan’s sofa for hours until the morning sunshine broke through and started to reflect off the wooden floors of the apartment. Freya took Jordan’s face in her hands and placed one last kiss on her lips before removing Jordan’s arms from around her and standing up.

  Dan heard the front door close. He got out of bed and grabbed a fleece blanket. Entering the living room, he wrapped it around Jordan’s shoulders before sitting down beside her and pulling her towards him, allowing her to let all of her pain leave her body.

  July 2012

  Jordan welcomed the interruption of someone at her front door. She gratefully placed down the script for the season’s premiere that she was failing to learn her lines from. It had been three weeks since their breakup and, despite returning back to work, Jordan had not slipped easily back into her life in LA. She opened the door and gasped involuntarily at her visitor.

  “Judging by your attire, the rumors are true then,” Anna Conor announced as she brushed past Jordan and entered her home.

  Sticking her head out of the door Jordan looked around to see whether anyone had witnessed the fact that Anna Conor, The Anna Conor, was in her house. She was disappointed that for once no-one was out in their garden on a Saturday even at this early hour. She would have to resign herself to the fact that only the driver, sitting patiently in the Rolls Royce that Anna had arrived in, would be her verification that this was actually happening. It was as she closed the door that Anna’s words registered and she surmised the reason for the visit.

  “That depends on what rumors you’re referring to,” Jordan replied carefully, tugging at the hem of her baggy T shirt and pulling it down to cover the small shorts she was wearing.

  Anna gave her a withering look, “You go make yourself presentable. There’s no need to go to seed over all of this and I’ll go make us some coffee.” Anna removed her coat and placed it neatly onto the sofa and pointed towards the door leading to the kitchen. “Through there?” she asked, already marching towards the door.

  “Yes,” Jordan said weakly before scurrying off to change and wondering what was the appropriate dress wear for an audience with Anna Conor, when it would seem she’s about to tear a strip off you.

  She opted for a blue sundress, changed quickly and then ran to the kitchen to join Freya’s grandmother for what was no doubt going to be an awkward conversation.

  “I made water,” Anna declared as Jordan entered the kitchen. “The tap was the only thing I recognized in this place.” She waved her hand dismissively around Jordan’s prized kitchen, “Even then I’m not sure that I didn’t put hot water in.”

  Jordan hid a smile as she picked up the glass, “I can make us something if you’d like?”

  Anna tipped the water into the sink and held the glass out to Jordan, “Martini and I’m with Noel Coward, pour the gin then wave it in the general direction of Italy.”

  Moving around to collect the ingredients, which she was grateful she had, Jordan decided to take the proverbial bull by the horns, “What brings you to see me?”

  Sniffing Anna narrowed one eye, “Freya is ignoring my calls and Daniel’s lips are tighter than a virgin’s on her wedding night and I want to find out if those odious gossip rags had one iota of fact to them. Have you two broken up?”

  Jordan placed the bottles down onto the counter, “Three weeks ago.”

  A look of sadness passed over what expression range
Anna retained, “What happened?”

  “I was stupid, I thought that she was cheating.” She saw Anna’s face flush with anger. “I know that she wasn’t and wouldn’t, but the distance thing was too much for us. The relationship was too new to withstand that sort of pressure. So we both decided to be mature and not hurt each other further.” She handed over the drink to Anna.

  Whatever Anna was going to say regarding the situation withered from her lips when she saw the tears glistening in Jordan’s eyes as she spoke. “I’m really sorry that you weren’t able to make it work. You made my granddaughter very happy and I wish that things had worked out differently.” She tipped the glass back and downed the not ungenerous drink. “Did I see a piano out there?” she asked handing Jordan the glass and motioning her to pour another before striding from the room.

  Obediently Jordan prepared another drink and then joined the already seated Anna at her piano. As the elderly woman started to play a look of peace descended upon her face as her fingers caressed the keys.

  “Take a load off,” Anna nodded towards the space she’d left on the seat. “You know I found that music is often the best salve for a broken heart.” She continued to play, “That an’ gin. Today it would appear we have both, so you’ll be fine!”

  Despite it being nine a.m., Jordan took a sip of the drink she’d prepared for Anna, “Here’s hoping.”

  ***

  Freya was annoyed with herself as she strode back to her dressing room. Tonight had not been her best performance. Her voice hadn’t coped well with a couple of the high notes. It would appear that crying constantly had played havoc with her vocal cords and, to top it all, she was half a beat off for two steps during one of her dance routines. She just wanted to get changed, go home for a hot shower, go to bed and have the day end. What she wasn’t prepared for was her grandmother waiting for her in her dressing room.

  “What is it they say about Mohammed and the mountain?” Anna asked, while watching her granddaughter carefully. “If it wasn’t for the fact I’d be comparing myself to a mountain then it would apply here.”

  “Why are you here?” Freya asked, dropping down into the seat in front of the mirror.

  Anna’s response was interrupted by Nici poking her head around the dressing room door. “We’re going out…” she trailed off as she realized that Freya wasn’t alone. With her mouth slightly agape she stepped into the room, “You’re-”

  “Yes I am,” Anna interrupted.

  Standing up, before Anna decided to unleash the diva, Freya ushered Nici back towards the door, “I’m not coming out tonight, thanks for asking though.” She unceremoniously pushed Nici out and closed the door.

  “Was that her?” Anna asked, nodding towards the door.

  “Was that who?”

  “Strictly chorus line there. Was that the one that Jordan thought you were unfaithful with?”

  Freya’s mouth opened, “How do you know that? And I wasn’t unfaithful. Ever.”

  Anna played thoughtfully with an earring, “I know that. You look pale.”

  Laughing, Freya allowed her head to drop, “I’m wearing about three inches of stage make-up. How on Earth can you tell that?”

  “You were flat on three occasions and a half beat off during that dance number in the second act.”

  Freya’s eyes widened, “Seriously Anna, I’m not in the mood for your critique of my performance.”

  “I’m not critiquing, I’m just stating the facts. That’s how I know you’re pale. Because my granddaughter would not go out and make those mistakes unless she’s not eating properly and not sleeping.”

  Swallowing back the lump in her throat, Freya closed her eyes, “I feel like I’m a half beat off in my life. I didn’t know that I could feel this way about someone and now I do know I can’t unknow it. I want desperately to speak to her, to see her, touch her, kiss her and I can’t. So now everything I do feels a half beat off.”

  She felt Anna’s arms encircle her and pull her into a hug. She lay her face against her grandmother’s shoulder, surprised to feel the rough cotton of a towel instead of the fabric of Anna’s coat. She moved to raise her head.

  As if anticipating her movement Anna murmured against her hair, “Three inches of stage make-up and silk do not mix well.”

  A small bubble of laughter welled up in Freya, quickly becoming a sob.

  Anna held her tighter, “Oh my dear sweet girl. Did your grandfather teach you nothing about the great tragedies. This is only the fall in act three. What you do in act four is what establishes your future.”

  Crying against her grandmother, Freya could only hope that there was some truth to her words.

  ***

  “I can’t believe you’re leaving me,” Freya sighed, taping shut a box.

  Dan shrugged, “You knew that my being in New York was only a temporary thing while the exhibition was being staged,” he grinned. “I’m a hit on both coasts, so now I must away to the west coast to allow the LaLas to bask in my magnificent splendor again. Plus there’s a shit load of work waiting on me when I get back.”

  Freya laughed as she moved to another box with her tape gun, “You’re so full of shit, but I will miss you.”

  Dan tossed the clothes he was semi-folding into his suitcase, then leaned over to kiss the top of Freya’s head, “I’ll miss you too sweetie.”

  Sitting on Dan’s bed Freya started to fiddle with the latch of his suitcase. “You’ll see her right?” she asked not looking up at him. “When you go back, you’re going to see her?”

  Freya looked up chewing on her bottom lip, her eyes shining with the unshed tears that were never far away when they broached this subject.

  Knowing who ‘she’ was Dan simply nodded.

  “If she asks about me, tell her I’ve been okay.”

  Frowning Dan sat down, “But you’ve not been okay.”

  “I know, but,” Freya lay down on the bed. “I want her to move on.”

  Dan reached over and patted her thigh.

  “I’ll take care of her,” he smiled standing up to resume packing.

  Freya pouted and sighed before sitting up and collecting her tape gun to continue helping Dan.

  “So what about Jackson?” she asked lightly twirling the tape gun at her shoulder.

  Dan stopped packing but didn’t turn around to look at his best friend, “What about him?”

  “You two have gotten fairly serious fairly quickly. I was wondering what will happen.”

  Dan turned tossing the sweater in his hand into the case.

  “I just watched the distance between New York and LA tear two people I love into strips. I’m not about to put myself through that.”

  Freya nodded sadly and turned to complete taping Dan’s boxes shut.

  ***

  “Hi, I was wondering whether I could maybe buy you a drink?” the brown-haired girl asked shyly.

  Freya shot Dan a quick look before giving the girl a warm smile.

  “That’s really sweet but I’m here with my friend and it’s his leaving party so I…” Freya bobbed her head as if it was a tougher decision than it was. “I really should stay with him.”

  The girl gave her a smile and slipped a napkin over with her number on it, “Just in case you change your mind.”

  Freya gave her a quick smile as she accepted the napkin and watched the girl turn and disappear back into the crowd in the club. She was still looking over when the napkin was snatched from her hand.

  “Hey,” she cried turning to see Jackson inspecting the napkin with a look of disgust on his face.

  “She’s trying to hit so far above her weight division it’s unreal,” he said folding the napkin and placing it into a half full glass of something that was on the table when they arrived.

  Dan bit at his lip to stop from laughing at the expression on Freya’s face. “Oh yes I’m leaving you in capable hands,” he nodded. “While I am in a different time zone. Jackson here will be your queer steer. But ju
st so you know he loves Front Line and is a hopeless romantic who wants you to get back with Jordan.”

  Freya’s eyebrows flashed up as she shot Dan a ‘who the hell doesn’t want that’ look.

  “So he will look out for you and keep you safe from predatory lesbians and those that can’t lick your shoes.”

  “Never mind licking anything else,” Jackson inserted, taking a sip of his beer.

  Freya rolled her eyes as she took her straw into her mouth, “God save me from gay men.”

  August 2012

  Dan reached over to his nightstand for his phone, checking the screen he groaned and accepted the call.

  “You do remember there’s a time difference Freya,” he grumbled.

  “Sorry, it’s urgent.”

  “Where’s Jackson? Why can’t he help you?”

  Freya twirled the cord of the phone between her fingers, “’cause I didn’t like his answer.”

  Rolling his eyes Dan lay back down on his bed, “Okay, tell me what the problem is.”

  “Next Tuesday. Next Tuesday is the problem,” Freya breathed.

  Dan had been waiting for this call but had hoped that Jackson might have been able to cut it off at the bud. “Whatever that brain of yours is cooking up, stop,” Dan sighed. “She’s doing better and if you go and send her a birthday gift that is all thoughtful and gooey, then I’m going to be spending the next few weeks cleaning up the mess.”

  Freya frowned, “But I…”

  “She bought a damn onesie Freya, that’s the level of seriousness we’re talking here, a onesie,” Dan sat up and ran his hand through his bed-head hair. “Leave her.”

  “You and Jackson talked this through didn’t you?” Freya grumbled.

  Dan laughed, “We love you and we care about you but you need to be fair to both of you Egg and a thoughtful birthday gift is just going to open up the wounds that are barely healing.”

  “I love you,” came the quiet response. “I love her and I miss her.”

  Dan smiled sadly shaking his head, “I love you too and she will probably always love you, in a Dolly Parton sung by Whitney kind of way.”