The Major's Wife

by The Major's Wife (lit)

  “Yes, it matters to me. Tell me.”

  “I honestly do not know. It would not have made any difference, anyway. You are my friend and that is all that counts. Truthfully, I think Liz would have no problem with it, other than that I watched the things you did. Jeffrey, on the other hand, already knew about it. I told him during one of our frequent fights. He was so jealous he even dreamed of me with other men, so I wanted to hurt him when he tried to rape me. I did hurt him, more than even I could have imagined. I do not think he ever recovered from his disappointment in me, even to the day he died. We never made up after that. I think he wished for the wife he thought he wed, not the real one.

  “Honestly, I realized only a few weeks after I got to the fort that I did not love him. Oh, I did love the sex part of it, but that was really all we had in common. He was handsome, charming…everything a young girl could ask for in a husband. There was no conversation about books, music, and such. Instead of talking about things that interested me, he talked only about the army, weapons, enemies, and those kinds of things. My interests were nothing to him or his to me. No couple was more ill-suited than we were. If it had not been for Aunt Liz’s presence, I might have just walked out into the prairie and let the land take me.”

  What did you and Eagle have in common, Lulu? she asked herself. She pushed the question away and resumed her story.

  “It was a cold and miserable place and I complained constantly, making it sound like everything was his fault. Actually, it was my own fault, for expecting a man I knew a few short days to be a perfect life companion. I cannot tell you how sorry I am for his death or how guilty I feel for the time we spent together. I know that he was distraught and let his guard down on our trip to the depot, or we would not have been ambushed and no one would have died. So, Ruby, you see, my guilt is for more than just my betrayal to my husband.”

  Ruby looked deeply into her friend’s eyes. “There is more, I think, Lulu. Do you want to tell me the rest?”

  “Later. We have been talking for hours and I am hungry. How about you? Shall I ring for the conductor, or do you want to go to the dining car?”

  Chapter 56

  They opted for the dining car. It was only one car away from theirs, but Lucretia felt out of place as they walked through it. On either side of the aisle were seats, most of them holding rough-looking men and women who either ignored the two women or shot them unfriendly looks. The railroad company had made a mistake placing this car between the ones with berths and the dining room. It was obvious to Lucretia that these riders had no money for food and that they knew she and Ruby did. For the first time in her life, she felt resentment from others for her affluence, and it was not a good feeling.

  Their meal was better than expected and actually included a small bowl of vegetables, a rarity outside big cities and farms. “You are so quiet, Lulu. Is something wrong?”

  “Actually, I am feeling bad. Those people have nothing to eat and we are sitting here gorging ourselves. Wait, I have an idea.” She rang for the waiter. “Go to that coach and count the number of people there, then go to the kitchen and make sandwiches—two for each—and pass them out back there. Add the cost to my bill.”

  “Madam Sawyer,” said the waiter, his hand trembling. “I do not think we have that much bread, and the others will be expecting it with their meal tonight. This is quite unheard of.”

  “Well, you have heard of it now. I couldn’t care less if the other diners will miss their bread tonight. There are plenty of other things for them to eat, as you listed when we sat down. Besides, there will be bread available at the next stop, I am sure. That should be soon, as it seems to me this train stops at every place there is a building. Now, enough of your argument. The sandwiches, one with nice sliced beef and one with ham for each person. Oh, yes, and cake, a piece of cake for each. Did not Marie Antoinette say something about giving them cake? So, give them cake, my man, and do it now. I will wait to see that it is done as I instructed.”

  The frightened man raced to the kitchen. The chef started to come through the door, but when he saw Lucretia’s determined expression, he returned inside. In a remarkably short time, the waiter returned with a heaping tray of sandwiches. He stopped beside Lucretia and waited for her nod to continue.

  He returned with an empty tray and a huge smile on his face. “Madam, I have been instructed to thank you.”

  “You can express to them that they are welcome when you return with their cake. I will add my appreciation to you when I pay my bill.”

  She and Ruby received shouts of thanks and appreciation as they walked down the aisle to their car. They pressed hands to those who offered until, thankfully, they reached the other door.

  A large woman with an incredible amount of makeup stood just inside in the aisle so they could not pass. “Well, what have we here? Are you passing yourself off as a saint or something? If you have extra money, why not share it with your own kind, rather than this riffraff? How about a game of five-card stud?”

  Ruby pushed past Lucretia to confront the woman. “Well, hello, Mrs. Kraft.” She turned a bit to those watching. “She calls herself Mrs. Kraft, but be reassured there was never a Mr. Kraft. Mrs. Kraft left St. Louis with the law on her ample ass and a purse of other folk’s money. You have all heard of the harlot with a big heart, I am sure. Well, now you have met a whore with no heart at all. Ladies and gentlemen, meet Mrs. Kraft.”

  With a flourish, Ruby pushed by the dazed woman, pulling Lucretia behind. A roar of laughter and derisive shouts followed them as the door closed behind them. They were still laughing when they closed the door of their cabin and slipped the lock for the night.

  Chapter 57

  It was easy to sleep, at least for Ruby. The clickity-clack of the wheels on the tracks and the swaying of the car put her to sleep within minutes. For Lucretia, they were reminders of the life she was leaving. She pictured her sweet Jeffrey as he had been on their honeymoon, but the picture would change into the demonic depiction of Black Eagle Grant. Instead of Jeffrey’s straw-colored hair, there was the dark brown from a blond mother and an Indian father. Instead of light skin, there was a sun-baked color. When the picture slid to the groin, she sat up abruptly. She forced her eyes open and cursed herself that she could even consider comparing them there. Each in his own way was far superior to the other, she thought.

  Stop it, she told herself. Only Jeffrey mattered. Forget Eagle. Forget the night you spent loving them both and how wonderful it had been. Forgot those penises, just as you forgot the two men you fucked in front of the devil. Actually, Lucretia had no memory of even doing them, beyond the fact that she knew she had. It was like a bad dream, all of it. She got up, relieved herself in the chamber pot, and slid back the curtain a bit so as to allow her to look out at the moonlit night of the ever-changing landscape.

  Even in the relative darkness she could see that the land was no longer so flat and that there were taller trees and thicker forests. Once in a while, she saw a light in the distance. Their stops along the way came more often and for longer periods, as the towns seemed to get bigger.

  She now questioned her decision to go to New Orleans with Ruby. She should have gone back to St. Louis to care for Auntie Liz. Not that Michael would not care for her, but once again, she let her own selfishness make her justify what she did. Aunt Liz would forgive her, no questions asked, and Lucretia knew it. Obviously, Aunt Liz loved her far more than Lucretia loved her aunt. In her entire life, she realized that it had always been that way. Even Ruby gave her friendship and helped the selfish young bride and asked nothing in return. Others gave and Lucretia Lucinda took, never thinking of anyone but herself.

  With Jeffrey, it had been the same. He gave, she took, and blamed him for her failure. Eagle’s face suddenly appeared in the reflection in the window where her own face had been. It was the face beside her on the pillow. It was the face softened by sweet sex. It was the face that kissed her so softly and nuzzled her hair. It was
the face of the man whose name she cried out for in the night. As she watched, the face changed into the hard mask she saw the evening he gave her away as if she were no more than a pair of old boots.

  No, not this time, she thought. I am not at blame this time. He refused to listen to me. He used me. He hurt me. No, this time, I gave to him and he treated me like…like…like I have treated others. Oh, dear God, please forgive me. She cried softly until there were no more tears and fell asleep with her face pressed against the window.

  Ruby was awake and heard Lulu crying, but she did or said nothing. The wise woman that she was, she let Lulu handle her pain in her own way. The trip would be over soon and with it, the opportunity to find out who or what had caused her sweet Lucretia such misery.

  After breakfast in their car, they took turns in the bath down the corridor. “Ah, Ruby, it is so nice to have water again, at least for a bath every other day. I swear the minute we get our own place, we will never have to scrimp on water consumption, even if it means dipping in one of those swampy places…what did the conductor call them? Bayou, yes, that is it. Even if we have to dip in bayous.”

  Ruby laughed. “I guarantee you will change your mind when you see one. Let us go to the smoking car, where the windows are bigger. Perhaps we are far enough south now to see them.”

  This was their first visit to the comfortable car reserved for those who had accommodations in the berths, not the regular seats. The chairs were red velvet with gold trim that matched the heavy window coverings, now tied back for viewing the land that was foreign to Lulu.

  Ruby once lived in the city for a few years with her then-husband, a suave gambler who had died at a casino table when his sleight of hand met with a small handgun from under that same table. She decided she had worn out her welcome, too, when she was fortunate enough to be arrested rather than shot for the same thing. The judge agreed to release her if she promised to ply her trade elsewhere. She felt it was safe after all these years to return. Once they were settled, she would show everything and everywhere to Lulu.

  In the meantime, Ruby pointed out special places and answered as many of Lucretia’s questions as she could. When she failed to know the answer, a kindly gentleman, more Ruby’s age than Lulu’s, offered to help. Soon the three of them were conversing like old friends. Ruby detected almost immediately that the gentleman, who introduced himself as Devereaux Benoit LaClaire the Third, a titled gentleman who offered nothing further about himself than his name, was far more interested in Lucretia than the scenery.

  “Ah, Mr. LaClaire, we are so fortunate to have you here to teach us things about our new—or soon-to-be home. My ward, Mrs. Mills, recently lost her husband of a few short weeks and thought a change of location might help her get over her loss. Is that not right, darling?” She looked pointedly at Lucretia, who shook her head slowly as a look of misery crossed her face. She dropped her eyes to her hands, forcing a tear down her cheek.

  “Yes, Mrs.—” She had no name to call Ruby on such short notice, but her inventive mind kicked in gear. She coughed, as if that was what had stopped her from speaking. “Yes, Mrs. Redstone, you are right. However, I am not going to let my loss cloud our future. I will never again let my pain ruin our plans.” With that, Lucretia lifted her head and smiled, wiping away the tear.

  “Well, Mrs. Mills, if you ever need a shoulder, mine are wide.” Mr. LaClaire sat up straighter, as if to display them, his robust chest, and his patrician face.

  “Oh, yes, sir, they are. I will remember your offer. Oh, look, what is that in the water? Oh, there is another one on the riverbank. They look ferocious. Do they eat people?”

  Before Ruby could answer, the gentleman spoke. “Oh, yes, my dear, they have eaten people, but not often. They are called alligators and these two are not particularly large. Why, I have seen them up to twenty-five feet long.”

  Ruby shot him a look that said, “After how many glasses of rotgut?”

  “That is more of a bayou than a river, but I suppose you could call it that. Most of the bayous have their own names, as do the rivers or streams that feed them. Look carefully, ladies, in that tree…do you see the snake? It is poisonous, whereas the alligator has teeth to protect himself. The snakes often hide in the Spanish moss you see hanging from the trees and drop onto unsuspecting passersby.”

  “Really, Mr. LaClaire. I think you have frightened my ward half to death. Dear Lucretia, would you like to return to our car? I have some laudanum there to calm your nerves.”

  Lulu nodded, hoping her face reflected the fear she was supposed to have. “Good afternoon, sir, perhaps we will meet again.”

  “I am sure we will, madam. I will make it a point to see that it happens again.”

  Chapter 58

  Back in their cabin, Ruby sat beside Lucretia and took her hand. “I think it is time for you to tell me what kept you awake half the night. You cried enough tears to fill the Mississippi River.”

  “Oh, Ruby, I’m sorry I woke you—”

  “Are you trying to avoid my question? If it bothers you to talk about it, then I will understand. Nevertheless, I know from experience that it helps to unburden oneself and share whatever it is that is hurting. Maybe together we can work it out.”

  Lucretia remained quiet for a few minutes while she put her thoughts together. If it had been anyone but Ruby, she would never have considered telling her horrible secrets, but she knew Ruby would never condemn, nor stop loving her for the things she had done.

  “The man you saw at the station was Captain Black Eagle Grant. He was Jeffrey’s second in command. We were headed to the station from the fort when we were attacked. He disobeyed Jeffrey’s orders and caught up with us just after the Indians attacked. Without him, surely we all would have died. Somehow, I hardly remember any of it, only that my husband was wounded. Anyway, we got back to the fort.

  “Eagle took command and ordered the troops to get water and wood to get us through a few days when reinforcements were to arrive. Well, they did not arrive and our supplies were low. Every night a soldier left the fort, hopefully to make it to Cottonwood Creek, but apparently none did. The day you saw him, he rode or ran or walked, however he got there, but he did. He left while only the guards were awake. It took him that entire day to get back to the fort. Reinforcements arrived shortly after he did.”

  Ruby watched Lucretia’s face as the young woman talked. “Lulu, while he slept at the station, he mumbled over and over about having to get back to her. He disobeyed orders in returning. Are you the ‘her’ he wanted to get back to?”

  “Well, since I was the only woman left, I guess it would have to be me. But, it makes no sense, because he did not even like me. Actually, he seemed to detest all white women. I remember telling Auntie that the captain looked at me the same way he viewed a dung beetle.”

  “Do you love him, Lulu?”

  Lucretia looked aghast at her friend. “Love him? For God’s sake, no! Actually, I hate him. Where did you get such an idea?” Her face drained of color and she clenched her fists at her sides. Every muscle in her body was rigid and she radiated fury.

  “Call it insight or just knowing you so well. Or perhaps it was the way you said his name…Eagle. Or the way your eyes softened when you told me how he rescued you and got you back to the fort. I suspect, my sweet friend, that you do not even admit it to yourself, but yes, I think you love him.”

  For the first time Ruby could remember, Lucretia seemed without words. She sat quietly, head bent. When the tears started, she lifted her head and stared through them, as if seeing something Ruby could not.

  When she finally spoke, it was barely above a whisper. “The things he made us do…the two young soldiers and I…how could any woman love him? He smiled and watched like the devil he is while… We thought we were going to die, but he knew better. He knew the general was on his way, but he let us—no, encouraged and actually ordered his men to enjoy themselves on me on their last night alive. I did all those things wi
th the two of them…like you showed me how. They would have gone to their maker happy, Ruby.

  “But I felt nothing for them, but that they enjoyed sex for the first time. What I did next was the unforgivable thing. I taunted him, forced my body down on his, and fucked him. I wanted him like I had the other time. Only more. Jeffrey was barely buried when I took Eagle to my bed.

  “And it was not the first time. One night, Jeffrey brought Eagle to our cabin and we had a night of unbelievable sex. Oh, Ruby, I am exhausted. No more tonight, please. I promise to tell you the rest some other time.”

  “Yes, precious, you rest.” Ruby helped her remove her clothing and slid a soft nightgown over her head. She sat beside Lucretia, bathing her swollen face with wet clothes until the girl slid into a deep sleep. How much pain this child has endured, thought Ruby. How much guilt she bears. Ruby would have bet the man called Black Eagle Grant loved this woman, but how could he have done such things to her if he did? Still, she suspected there was much more to Lulu’s story.

  Chapter 59

  Devereaux Benoit LaClaire the Third was true to his word. He was waiting in the dining car the next morning when they arrived for breakfast. He rose to meet them, bowing over their hands and seating them at the table he held. “I took the liberty of ordering the pathetic concoction the chef calls ‘chocolate’ for us, although the only resemblance to the real thing is the color. Certainly not the taste. Ah, here it comes now.”

  The waiter poured the steaming beverage and then set the pot down before Ruby. Devereaux looked up, surprised, as he expected to serve refills himself, as was his family custom. Surely, society did not dictate that the eldest female serve it. Well, if so, so be it. He did not want anything, even the slightest nuance of poor deportment, to interfere with his plans for the lovely Mrs. Mills. First, he would have to find a way to separate her from the formidable chaperone he detected in Mrs. Redstone.