Joy and Pain

by Celia Kyle

  The name boy didn’t illicit my normal reaction and serves to only make me feel smaller. I bow my head. I can’t look at him, see the truth of his words, his feelings. I’m attached already and hurting him, angering him, was the last thing I wanted. I just wanted...

  “Have anything to say for yourself?”

  I nibble my lower lip, “I, um, wasn’t thinking?” A sigh escapes my lips. “I wanted to give you a good show. I saw you, how excited you were and I thought you’d enjoy it.”

  “So, you didn’t think of the consequences. You didn’t remember Luca’s rules or the fact that your pleasure should belong to me?”

  Luca’s rules. Okay, I fucked that up, but it’s not like Zeke and I had a “real” commitment or agreement, or anything. I pop from the seat, crane my head and glare at him. “Does it? We haven’t exactly agreed on that, have we?”

  Zeke growls, bends down until we’re eye-level. “Fine. We do now. You’re mine. Got it?”

  I poke him in the chest and I know it’s like poking a bear, but he’s pissing me off now. “No, not fine. You don’t get to rule my life just ‘cause you’re hot and growly and make my dick hard. My dick does not rule my life!”

  I’m glaring at him, pure stubbornness pouring through me. He’s glaring at me and he seems to be matching me for stubborn.

  I’m starting as I’ll go on and I won’t be pushed around by a man just because I call him “Daddy”. Even if I really, really want to call him Daddy. Turning over power is a choice and I’ll be damned if it’s taken.

  “Fine.” He’s mumbling around clenched teeth. “Please sit and we can discuss this.”

  “While you’re angry and I’m covered in cum?”

  His eyes narrow even further. “And whose fault is that?”

  “I won’t be held responsible for your emotions. I’m sticky because of something I did. Period. Your anger is your shit to deal with.”

  Zeke relaxes a fraction, shoulders not quite so stiff. “Okay. If I give you my address, will you come by after you’re cleaned up? When you’re ready?”

  See? He can be polite when he’s not being a bear.

  I nod and slump into the chair. “I can do that. Give me an hour and I’ll be there.”

  Chapter Four

  The ride to Zeke’s doesn’t take long once I’m cleaned up, my little beater puttering along in his hoity-toity neighborhood. Guy said it was “quaint”. He should have said it was filled with half-million dollar homes.

  My knuckles are white from gripping the wheel so hard and I force myself to relax and glance at the slip of paper Zeke had given me.

  Turning my car into his driveway, I take a deep, soothing breath as I cut the engine. Now or never. Right.

  The house is huge. Okay, huge to me.

  Wiping my hands on my jeans, I push the doorbell and the door’s opened almost immediately, Zeke looking just as gorgeous as I remember.

  Then again, it’d only been an hour since we’d seen each other, but still. Hot.

  “Come in. I’ve got drinks and I ordered take out. Luca said you enjoy Italian, so I ordered from Gianni’s for us.”

  Okay, score one for Zeke. Even if he did ask Luca.

  I nod and follow him into the house, kicking my shoes off near the front door, Zeke frowns and I smile. “Old habit. I don’t wear shoes inside.”

  He shrugs and moves on and I’m at his heels, taking in the sparsely furnished home as we traverse the hallways. Before long, we’re in the living room, him on the couch, me on a nearby chair, both leather.

  Zeke pops the top on a soda for me and sets it on a coaster while I poke around in the Styrofoam packages, claiming the Penne ala Vodka for myself. Yeah, I’m a bit selfish when it comes to Gianni’s.

  We’re quiet for a little while, sating our hunger and I’m silent from nerves more than anything else. We’ve gone about this a bit backwards, stumbling around instead of having a sit-down like we are now.

  Before long, Zeke leans back, not looking half as relaxed as he probably wants to. I mimic his position in my chair, keeping the soda in my hands. Something to hold on to.

  He’s not looking at me when he starts speaking, staring into space. “I like you a lot, Tevin. More than I should considering how much time we’ve spent together.”

  “I like you, too.” My voice is quiet. God, we’re like a bunch of high school kids. Or elementary age and I feel like I should be passing him a piece of paper. ‘Do you want to be my boyfriend? Check yes or no.’

  A smile, small and soft, forms on his lips. “We’re like kids.”

  I can’t stop the laugh bubbling in my chest. “I was thinking the same thing!”

  Zeke pats the seat next to him. “Come here? Let me hold you while we talk?”

  I’m not hesitating now and place the soda on the coffee table before snuggling next to him, feel him lay his head on top of mine.

  “I’m sorry about earlier.”

  “Me, too. I didn’t mean to disappoint you and Luca.” I didn’t. “It was just...”

  “Too much temptation. I nearly creamed my jeans watching you. Then I realized everyone else was watching you, too. That pissed me off.”

  I bury my face against his chest, inhale his scent before responding. “I know. I didn’t think of it at the time. Was just so turned on.”

  “I know, baby, I know. It’s forgotten. Once I calmed down, I realized I was out of line.”

  I hear, rather than feel, his kiss against my hair. “I’m still sorry.”

  “Forgotten.” He took a deep breath, his chest rising and falling beneath my ear and I can hear his heart rate increase. “I want a relationship with you, Tevin. I want to see you whenever we can. Touch you. Be sweet, and mean, to you. All of it.”

  I raise my head, stare into his eyes. “I’d like that, too. But I won’t be ordered around like a mindless kid. Yeah, you’re older, probably wiser, but I have to make mistakes. I can’t have you bulldozing me at every turn. Yeah, I fucked up, but I need to fuck up. Do I want some power exchange? Age-play? Fuck, yeah. Just, not all the time. I can’t feel like you’re ruling everything.”

  “I don’t want to rule everything, Tev. It’s just...” He rests his forehead against mine. “I want your pleasure to be mine. I get your job. I don’t like it, but it’s what you do and I can’t stop you. But coming on stage? I’d prefer that you don’t do that.”

  I grin. “Then you can’t come watch me. Cause that’s all I can think about when you’re around. All these muscles tense for me...Mmm...”

  “You’re an imp.”

  “Your imp?” I mean, it sounds like that’s what he wants. Okay, sometimes I just a lot of reassurance. A lot.

  “Yeah. Age-play. Condoms, no fluids, only bruises and no sharing. I can do it all, want to do it all to you. Can’t wait.”

  “Me either.” It’s the truth. We had a hiccup before there was even a “we” to speak of, but I think we’ve got a start.

  “Stay? It’s late. You live in a crappy neighborhood.” He brushes his lips across mine, need rising with each passing second.

  “It’s not crappy.” My voice is a whisper, not wanting him to stop.

  “Mmm...”

  It’s not really an answer, but I’m too caught up in the kiss now.

  It’s gentle, sweet, passionate yet tender. He nips my lower lip and I open to him. Zeke licks the entrance to my mouth, seeming to enjoy my taste, before he delves inside, touching every part of me. I moan and sink into him even further, drink him in, our tongues stroking and playing. Gentle. There’s no fight for dominance, just wave after wave of rising arousal as he seduces me.

  And I let him.

  With every passing moment, the heat grows between us and I can feel my cock growing hard within my jeans, making them tight. I shift, unable to remain still, aching and wanting him more than I can say. He does it for me. Him. Zeke. Big man with gentle hands. Hands that will probably punish me but never in anger. Never.

  My dick’s thro
bbing in time with my accelerated heart beat and I’m sure a wet spot is forming. I don’t care. I’ll deal with it later. I’m staying with him and that’s all that matters right now.

  I wrap my arms around his neck, one hand sifting through his short hair, pulling him closer, searching out every bit of his essence I can find. Want it all. Every drop of him.

  With no warning, Zeke breaks the kiss, forehead against mine, breathing hard. “Bedroom. Please, let me take you to the bedroom, Tevin. Need a flat surface. Don’t care if this is all we do, but I need you somewhere other than this couch.”

  Yeah. Only I want a lot more than kissing. I want to play. I want... “Yes...” I lick my lips, hoping he’ll go along, give me what I need. “Yes, Daddy.”

  God damn, but I almost come.

  A shudder travels through his body and I hope that he’s feeling the same things I am.

  Zeke strokes my cheek with one fingertip, traveling to my lip and outlining my mouth. “You’re such a good boy, aren’t you?”

  Fuckity, fuck.

  I’ll come. If he touches me right now, I’ll come in my jeans. Swear. To. God.

  “Not today, Daddy.” I nibble my lower lip and the growing tears in my eyes aren’t all fake.

  “I forgave you though, didn’t I?”

  I nod, but I think I need more and I hope he can see that.

  “Do you need a spanking, little one?” His voice drops, passion flaring bright.

  “I think I do.” My voice is barely a whisper and I can’t wait to feel his palm on my ass.

  He shifts to stand and I crawl from the couch, cock tenting my jeans. “First door on the left.” He points down the hall. “Naked and ready. I’ll get some water.”

  I shuffle off to do as he bids, trepidation growing with each step. I asked for this, the pain, the release and forgiveness. I earned the punishment, even if we didn’t have an agreement in place. Had Luca not sent me away, I may have eventually asked him for this instead.

  Zeke’s room is dominated by a large, four-poster bed, muted colors throughout. Again, it’s orderly and sparse. I can see that he needs color in his life. Something bright and fun.

  Like me.

  I can hear Zeke puttering somewhere in the house and get to work stripping, tugging my shirt over my head and shimmying my jeans down my legs. Folding them, I put them on the chest at the end of the bed, not wanting to ruin the order he’s created.

  My cock’s softened without Zeke’s presence to spurn my arousal. Moving toward the bed, I settle on the carpet on my knees, ass on my heels and palms resting on my thighs. He didn’t say how he expected me to appear “ready”, so this is as good a position as any until he tells me otherwise.

  I can hear the heavy thump of his feet on the hardwood floors in the hallway. Letting me know he’s coming closer and closer and my erection returns, dick filling with his every step.

  Before I know it, he’s there, bare-chested, bulge in his jeans and I lick my lips, wondering about his taste.

  “You sure, Tevin?”

  I glance up at him and nod, immediately returning my attention to his cock hidden by cloth.

  His voice turns hard, demanding. “Take me out.”

  I scramble to do as he says, lowering the zipper with shaking hands and slowly easing him free of the constraining jeans. It’s then that I get my first good look.

  Long and thick, he’ll be more than a mouthful. He’s uncut, angry red top of his cock peeking through the extra skin, tempting me with a droplet of pre-cum on the tip.

  Unbidden, I lean forward, tongue extended, already looking forward for that first taste. Inches turn into centimeters and when I’m a hairsbreadth from my goal, a large hand fists in my hair and forces my head back until I’m looking into Zeke’s eyes.

  “Did I give you permission to taste?” His voice is a growl, expression hard.

  “No, Daddy.” I whimper, tug against the hold, pain zinging through me, heightening my pleasure.

  “I wanted you to see what you’ll be getting, little one. You don’t deserve it just yet. Finish undressing me and then go to the chest over there. Pick your punishment.”

  I swallow past the lump in my throat and reach for the waist of his jeans, ease them past his hips and down his legs until they’re pooled on the floor.

  I’m kneeling at his feet, drinking in every inch of his body, the play of skin over muscle as he stands before me. When my gaze finally reaches his face, he’s got a single eyebrow raised. Heat crawls up my neck, into my cheeks, and I drop my focus to his feet, pull the jeans aside as he steps free of the cotton.

  Zeke pads away from me, toward the bed and settles on the edge. With practiced ease, I roll to my feet and fold his jeans before placing them on the chest. I’ve got an order and I need to carry it out. He’s still quiet while I step toward the dresser and open the top drawer to reveal a plethora of items sure to make my ass sting, ache and burn.

  My cock’s hard. As a rock. Fucking granite between my thighs.

  The solid wood paddle appeals to me, but it’s the one with the holes that I need. That one draws me like a moth to a flame. Trite, but true.

  With infinite care, I lift the paddle from its place and then slide the drawer closed before I turn toward my Daddy. My cock bobs with every step I take closer to him. A foot from Zeke, I stop and extend my arms, palms up, presenting my choice to him.

  He lifts it, tests the weight and grips the wooden handle. “This is the one you want? It’ll hurt.”

  I lick my bottom lip, stare at the ground in front of my toes. “I know. I deserve it. For you, for Luca...for everything.”

  Zeke shifts back a bit, widens his legs and holds his hands at his sides. The movement gives me a clear look at his dick, the flesh hard and seeming to reach for me. Only me. “Across my lap then. We’ll do this and it’ll be done, baby. Okay?”

  I sniffle, tears stinging my eyes, because deep down I know that I’ve disappointed and angered several people with my actions. A bit of selfishness causing a shitload of problems.

  As if I’d done it countless times before, I settle across Zeke’s lap, cock hanging between his thighs, presenting my ass to him.

  His plate-sized hand, complete with calluses, strokes my bare bottom, skimming my sensitized skin and fluttering across my crack as if I were the most delicate china. With every moment that he touches me, I’m more aroused, more in tune with his every breath, aching to be what he wants in a boy.

  “So pretty.” His voice is husky, low, growling and I whimper, pushing and arching against his hand. “Such a perfect little ass.”

  I squirm, wanting...something.

  He gives it to me.

  Between one breath and the next, the paddle slams against my ass, no prep, no warming or warning, just the connection between wood and flesh. I scream and move to rise, the pain, flight or fight response, taking over my body, but Zeke’s hand in the middle of my back keeps me from breaking position.

  I can’t breathe, can’t move, can only feel.

  He hits me again, the sound reverberating through the room, through my body. The pain radiates from my ass, warming and shooting through me, bringing tears to my eyes with each thud of the paddle.

  “Count.” His voice is hoarse, strained.

  Another strike. Another bout of agony. “Three, Daddy.”

  God, it’s only been three.

  Tears aren’t just threatening now, they’re trailing down my cheeks, splashing onto the floor.

  Yet another. “Four.”

  I’m gasping. And despite the pain, the agony of the spanking, I’m turned on by the act. I want this, deserve this and crave this. More than anything.

  “Five.”

  I’m choking on the pain and the pleasure that’s growing, radiating from my ass. The pain is morphing, twisting and turning within, becoming more.

  Zeke stops for a moment, hand sliding over my heated rear and I flinch with the contact.

  “Easy.” His voice is soft,
soothing, gentle. Easy, slow strokes of his palm against my heated skin quickly ratchet up my arousal, make me want whatever Zeke will give me. “Such a good boy.”

  I whimper and press into his touch, search out the pleasure, drink up every drop. “Daddy.” My voice is a whisper, eyes closed, I tune out everything but the feeling of his skin against mine.

  “It’s over, now, little one. You did good.”

  I bend further, press my face against his calf and take a deep breath, taking in his scent and savor it. As my heart calms, I push into his touches as they become stronger, harder...more.

  Heat is morphing into pleasure, my cock’s throbbing in time with the beat of my heart, the thunder of blood roaring through my veins. He’s stroking my ass, fingers playing over my heated skin and the tips grazing my hole. God, to be filled by him, surround him and cradle him close.

  I arch my back, rising and hinting at what I want, earning a soft chuckle from Zeke. “Needy, minx.” A quick pop, the palm of his hand against my ass and then he’s pulling me up until my feet rest on the ground once again. “Bed.”

  I scramble to listen, crawl across the expansive mattress and settle on my back, legs wide, open and ready for whatever he wants to do to me. I trust him not to hurt me for a variety of reasons...but it’s my gut that I’m going with and it tells me that no matter how big, or strong, Zeke may be, he’d never hurt me. Unless I wanted him to.

  He opens the bedside table to retrieve a condom and a bottle of lube.

  Internally? I’m doing a happy dance. Externally? My cock’s still throbbing, pre-come glistening at the tip of my dick and it’s taking everything in me not to stroke myself.

  I want Zeke to do that, to give me the friction I need with his hands.

  He climbs onto the bed and settles back on his heels, attention focused between my legs, straying to my face for a moment before zeroing back in on my exposed ass.

  “So, so pretty.” Zeke strokes my inner thigh, fingertips dipping between my cheeks for the barest of moments before pulling away. I hear, rather than see, the cap of the lube clicking open and I imagine him coating his fingers in the slippery fluid.