Kiss Me Under the Mistletoe: A Small Town Holiday Novella Collection

by Christine Kingsley

  Noelle felt like her brain synapses were misfiring all around and that she had fallen into some surreal alternate reality.

  Nicole, never one to go for tact, was the first one to put the pieces together and react. “Let me get this straight. You’re telling us that until we are married, you aren’t going to pass on our shares of the ranch? You intend to remain trustee, no matter how qualified Noelle is with running a business or Natalie with finance, until we get married? Married?” The incredulity in her voice couldn’t have reflected what Noelle felt any better.

  Grandma Beth laughed. “Yes, that’s what I’m saying. But I don’t see the problem. Just look at Finn and Noelle. They’ll be married in no time, and there will be nothing to worry about.”

  The room was spinning. The pattern on the old wallpaper was blurring. Noelle heard voices clamoring all around her, but it felt as if they were coming from very far away down a tunnel.

  She closed her eyes and took several deep breaths and tried to steady her hands, grappling for her glass of water to take some sips and hopefully cool off the sudden heat she felt racing through her body.

  When she opened her eyes again, all she saw was Finn, the dread on his face saying more than words ever could.

  He didn’t want this any more now than he did all those years ago.

  Chapter 7

  It was insanity. The woman had lost her mind, plain and simple.

  Though there was nothing simple about any of this. Finn didn’t know how Beth had thought this would go over well. God knows he’d tried to talk her out of it from the minute she first told him her harebrained scheme.

  And now Noelle was looking at him like a deer in headlights. He could almost see the muscles in her legs bunching up in preparation to make her getaway, but she was too petrified to move a muscle.

  He watched as she opened her mouth and shut it, then swallowed hard. Her eyes darted back to Beth, who was still watching them placidly. Then they darted back to him.

  He wanted so badly to reach for her, to comfort her after she’d just been bowled over with the shock of Beth’s announcement, but he was afraid anything he did would be the wrong thing. This was the moment he’d dreaded for two weeks, the moment he’d wanted to avoid.

  At any moment Noelle Silverman would run from the room—and his life—forever.

  Natalie and Nicole began speaking all at once, to him, to Beth, to Noelle, but he didn’t hear any of the words coming from their mouths. He was solely focused on Noelle.

  He kept his face carefully blank as she studied him. He couldn’t read her either. It was as if they were engaged in some type of duel, neither wanting to give anything away, but both trying to see what the other would do next.

  He gave in first.

  “Noelle.” He reached for her hand, but when she widened her eyes and stared at his hand as if it were a snake, he abruptly pulled it back.

  She looked back up at him and clamped her mouth into a firm line, then stood slowly from her chair and walked from the room, not looking back as she said, “If you’ll excuse me, Finn and I need to have a talk.”

  Her voice wasn’t cold. But it definitely wasn’t warm. The flatness to it told him more than he needed to know. Whatever hope he thought he’d seen in her eyes when he first arrived that day had been a figment of his imagination. Wishful thinking. Noelle wasn’t any more interested in a future with him than she had been six years ago. And he was more the fool for thinking anything had changed.

  Finn excused himself from the table and followed Noelle into the foyer, but she didn’t stop there. She went straight out the front door and headed for his truck, getting in and slamming the door before he had a chance to make it down the front steps.

  He opened the driver’s side door and climbed in, watching her with apprehension.

  “Drive,” she commanded, never looking his way.

  “Where to?”

  “I don’t care,” she said, crossing her arms protectively across her chest and looking out her window so he couldn’t see her face.

  So he drove. He didn’t think about where he was going but just drove, his mind so preoccupied with what was going down that he didn’t even realize where he was headed until the big new barn materialized in front of him. He didn’t stop in front as he usually did, but drove around to the back. To their shack.

  When he stopped, Noelle looked up, apparently realizing for the first time where they had come. Her eyes welled up, glistening as she stared at him.

  “Why here?” Her voice was choked with unshed tears.

  “It’s fitting isn’t it? Why not come back to the place where it all started?”

  And ended.

  Suddenly angry, he jumped from the truck and slammed the door, stalking off to the shack without so much as a backward glance at Noelle. He couldn’t help it. This was not how things were supposed to end with them. Somewhere in the back of his mind, in the most secret corner of his heart, he had always believed they would end up together.

  And now Beth’s wish to see them together—as misguided as her methods were, that’s where this was coming from—was going to be what ultimately drove them apart.

  Noelle wouldn’t be pressured into anything. He knew her better than that. It happened when they were younger, and it was going to happen again. Finn just didn’t know if he had the strength to set her free so easily the second time around.

  He’d been inside the shack for a few minutes, staring blankly at a wall, when he heard the back door creak open. Turning, he saw her standing there as she had so many years ago. Twelve years, to be exact. It had been snowy, just like today. She’d snuck off one night after dinner and he’d told her to meet him here.

  He’d waited for twenty minutes, convinced she wouldn’t show up. Things had been building between them, a new awareness that meant they no longer saw each other as the friends they’d always been. He was afraid she would decide it was a mistake, or that she really didn’t see him in that way after all, and he’d decided she wasn’t coming. Just as he’d turned to leave, there she was, standing in the doorway, much like she was now.

  Wary. Scared. Hopeful.

  Well, hopeful back then, because there sure wasn’t any hope left for them now. It had been a kiss to end all kisses, and he’d never been the same. He lost his heart to her that day, and the only thing the past two weeks had taught him was that it would be hers forever.

  “Hey,” Noelle said softly, and he wondered if she was thinking about that day too. She took a tentative step toward him. He didn’t move, still afraid he’d do or say the wrong thing.

  “Hey.” That was safe enough, right? But she didn’t say anything else, just studied him.

  She looked so beautiful it made his heart ache, and all he wanted to do was take her in his arms and kiss her until she remembered why they’d been so good together. How good they still could be.

  “Noelle—”

  “Finn, I don’t—”

  They both stopped, then laughed awkwardly. Since when had things ever been awkward between them? Unfamiliar? Yeah, once upon a time. But never awkward.

  Taking a deep breath, Finn decided to go for it and closed the distance between them, clasping her hands in his.

  “Listen, I have no idea how you’re feeling right now. I’m certain that what you want to talk about now has nothing to do with what you wanted to talk about earlier. I get it. This changes everything. But I need to say what’s on my mind. On my heart. I let you slip away once without telling you how I felt. I won’t do that again.”

  Her mouth fell open in and her eyes widened, but she didn’t pull away. That had to be a good sign.

  “More than anything, Noelle, I want you to stay. If the idea of marrying me has you ready to take the next flight out of town, I get that too. But don’t throw in the towel just yet. It doesn’t have to be this way. I’m sure, between you and your sisters, you can convince your grandmother to change her mind about this stipulation with the trust.”


  He must have said something wrong because her mouth clamped shut and she pulled her hands away from his to wrap them around her stomach. Dammit.

  “What? What did I say?” He stared into her eyes, trying to figure it out. “Noelle, talk to me.”

  She pursed her lips. “You want me to convince my grandmother that you don’t have to marry me?”

  He frowned. “That’s not what I mean.”

  “Then what do you mean, Finn? Because from where I’m standing I can’t get a clear picture about anything. Sometimes I think you still want me, that nothing ever changed between us. Then other times I get the message loud and clear that I’m not what you want.”

  That sent him reeling. “What? When have I ever said that? It’s always been you. Always. There hasn’t been a day of my life that I haven’t wanted you.”

  She squeezed her eyes shut. “There was at least one day.” Her voice cracked on the last word, and Finn reached for her again. So what if she pulled away? There was some serious miscommunication going on here, and the only thing he knew he could get right was showing her that he was there for her.

  He pulled her against him and he could feel her heart hammering against his own chest. “Never, Noelle. Not even one day.”

  “Then why did you tell me to go? Why did you tell me we had no future?” Her voice was muffled against his chest and he had to strain to hear her.

  Tilting her chin up gently, he laid it all bare. “Because it’s what you wanted.” He searched her eyes for a sign that she understood what he was saying. That she was hearing him loud and clear. “I wanted you to stay. That’s what I’ve always wanted. Then and now. But you didn’t want to. I had to let you go. If I’d told you then how I really felt, you may have stayed, but you would have ended up resenting me for it. You would have always wondered what if.

  “All you ever wanted was to get out of this small town and see what the world had to offer you. I couldn’t be the one to hold you back, even if I wanted to. I had no choice but to let you go. But please, Noelle, don’t ever think for a second that I didn’t want you. Want us.”

  She shook her head as tears welled up and fell over the brim of her eyelids unchecked. “No. Don’t say that. Please don’t say that.”

  “Why not?” he whispered, lowering his forehead to hers. “It’s the truth. I love you.”

  They were the words he’d always been afraid to utter before, sure that she would feel trapped by them. Now that they were out there floating between them, he only hoped they didn’t scare her away even more.

  She laughed in disbelief. “I never thought I’d hear those words from you. Finn. I—I love you too.” She looked down and plucked at his sweater and bit her lip, then looked back up at him with sorrow in her eyes. “But I can’t marry you.”

  Chapter 8

  Noelle sat huddled by the fire in the backyard with her sisters, thinking over the events of the day as they sipped hot cocoa and watched the flames flicker. That was yet another holiday tradition. But it didn’t have the same cozy, heartwarming effect as it usually did. Instead she felt empty inside.

  Finn loved her? It was what she had always dreamed of hearing him say. Why now? Why had he waited all this time?

  But deep down she knew. His words made sense to her when she tried to see things from his perspective. He thought he’d been doing her a favor, giving her what she wanted. Letting her go.

  Now that she’d spent the last couple weeks at home—with him—she realized how much she just wanted to be here. She also knew that her twenty-two-year-old self never would have felt that way. She very well may have ended up resenting Finn if she had stayed and married him, just like he thought she would. Would she have always felt trapped in the life that had been expected of her? It was very possible.

  Which was why there was no way she could marry him now and risk putting him in that very same position. She wouldn’t trap him into marrying her just so she could have her ranch. And that’s exactly what she’d told him.

  Sighing, she tried to escape from her own mind for a minute and tune in to what her sisters were talking about.

  The trust stipulation. Of course.

  “I just can’t believe she would think Cash Warner is a good choice,” Natalie was saying, her voice dripping with disdain. “That man has an ego bigger than the state of Wyoming.”

  Noelle met Nicole’s eyes and tried to smother a smile. It was a little funny, in a slightly sadistic way. Natalie and Cash had always been at each other’s throats as long as anyone could remember. Two peas in a pod, neither could stand the other. When two people who were equally stubborn, outgoing, and fiercely competitive, sparks were sure to fly. And not in a good way.

  If the two of them were going to be working together over the next month, things would definitely be interesting at Silver Acres.

  “I’m just sorry I won’t be here to see it,” Nicole said, grinning wickedly, as if she could read Noelle’s mind.

  Noelle scoffed. “Count yourself lucky in that area. Though if you find a way to get back up here sooner than expected, I’ll welcome the distraction from the inevitable drama coming from those two.”

  Natalie frowned at her. “I think you’ll have plenty of distraction in the form of a tall, dark and handsome Finn.”

  Hiding her face in her mug, she didn’t meet her sisters’ expectant gazes. They’d avoided the subject all evening, ever since Noelle had come back from her conversation with Finn. He hadn’t pushed her when she said she couldn’t marry him, but she’d seen the hurt in his eyes. How could their first declaration of love end with such sadness?

  “Yeah,” Nicole chimed in, apparently deciding that they’d given her enough space and it was time to get the details. “When’s the wedding?”

  “There won’t be a wedding,” Noelle said softly, fighting back the urge to cry.

  “Um, excuse me?” Nicole said. “I think I must have heard you wrong. Because I thought I heard you say that you and the love of your life won’t be getting married, and that just doesn’t compute.”

  Noelle set her cocoa mug on the ground and wrapped her blanket more tightly around herself. “You heard me right.”

  “Then you must have been knocked in the head. Seriously, Noelle?” Nicole rolled her eyes.

  “What happened?” Natalie asked gently.

  Never one to be able to keep things from her sisters for long, Noelle told them about the things Finn had said that afternoon, finishing up with how he’d quietly accepted what she said and brought her back to the house.

  “That doesn’t make sense.” Natalie shook her head, her eyebrows drawn together. “He loves you, you love him. Why wouldn’t you get married?”

  “Did you hear anything I said? Even if there’s nothing I’d want more, I won’t do that to him. I’m not going to let him marry me just so I can have my part of the ranch. That’s just asking for trouble.”

  Natalie’s gaze zeroed in on her. “So that is what you want then? To stay here? To have the ranch? To marry Finn?”

  Noelle drew her knees up to her chest and buried her face in her hands. Finally she looked up and met her sisters’ stares. “Yes. Okay? Does that make you happy? I’ve had my fun and gone out into the big, wide world. But it’s not what I thought it would be. It’s not what I want for the rest of my life. I want to be here. Everything I ran away from is exactly what I’ve always wanted, I just didn’t know it then.”

  “But you know it now?” Nicole asked.

  She nodded and whispered, “Yes. I want it all. The ranch. Finn. Everything.”

  Her sisters were quiet, and after a minute she realized they were staring over her head at something behind her.

  She turned and her gaze locked with Finn’s.

  He was standing not five feet behind her, illuminated by the flickering firelight and looking so devastatingly handsome that she thought her chest might squeeze her heart until it burst.

  Everything she wanted but couldn’t have.

 
She looked back at her sisters, but they had somehow already made a quick getaway. It was just the two of them out there now.

  “Finn…” she said, turning to him again.

  He made his way around to the front of where she was sitting and knelt down in front of her, gripping her hands.

  “Did you mean that?” His voice was urgent and strained and his eyes seared into hers as if he were trying to see into her very soul.

  She nodded mutely. How much had he heard?

  “All of it?” She nodded again and he squeezed her hands. “Then tell me again why you won’t marry me.”

  “Oh, Finn,” she whispered. “You should understand more than anyone. I’m not willing to trap you into something you don’t want. That would be selfish. And wrong.”

  “Who said I didn’t want it?”

  “Well, I assumed when I told you earlier and you just accepted my answer and brought me home…” He hadn’t argued her point at all.

  He smiled, and this time there was no hint of sorrow in his eyes. “Because I needed to show you something.” He reached into his coat and pulled out a tiny velvet box.

  Noelle’s breath caught in her throat. There were only a couple things that came in little square jewelry boxes.

  “When you left six years ago—when I let you go—there’s something I never told you. I had bought this for you, in case you decided to stay.” Finn opened the box and held it up to her. A perfect little diamond winked at her, catching the firelight and reflecting it back at her.

  She lifted her hands to her mouth, tearing her eyes from the ring to stare at Finn. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “The very same reason you think you can’t marry me. I didn’t want you to feel trapped. I was ready to marry you then, Noelle, if you’d wanted to stay.”

  She didn’t know what to say. But Finn did.

  “I think it all happened as it should have, though, if you think about it. It wasn’t our time then. You needed to figure out for yourself what you wanted. You had to see for yourself what kind of life you were meant to lead.”