Perfection Is Just an Illusion (Swimming Upstream #1)

by Rebecca Barber

  “Thanks, Joel. See you this afternoon,” James called out but he had already vanished.

  James stumbled towards the car with a heavy heart. His head was telling him he should tell Anna but his heart wouldn’t let him ruin things for her. He wasn’t ready to do that unless it was the absolute last resort. As he drove through the traffic he tried to ignore the voice at the other end of the phone, the one that had invaded his head but he couldn’t shake it. He reached Tim’s office and took the stairs two at a time. James was already running late but he knew that Tim wouldn’t mind. He never did.

  “Come on in, James.” Tim waved distractedly as he continued to chat on the phone. After a finishing up his conversation, Tim dropped the phone into its cradle and turned his attention to James. “How was training?”

  “Long. Hard. Wet. How was your morning?” James inquired casually, lifting his feet onto Tim’s coffee table.

  “In a word, interesting,” Tim taunted, smacking James’s legs with a rolled up magazine. James dropped his feet back to the floor. “The organising committee of the World Championships wants you to go over a week early and help with promotion. It seems their own team doesn’t arouse any attention, but for some strange reason, you do,” Tim admitted, shrugging his shoulders.

  “But didn’t you say that months ago? I’m sure I remember you saying their promotional campaigns wouldn’t work. You guessed they would try and get someone to come in and save the day. What are my options?” James asked, dragging his hands across his face roughly. It was obvious by his flat tone that he was less than impressed with the prospect of going early.

  “Your options are easy. You can go early and be the hero. Have your photograph taken, make appearances, and sign autographs. Or you can stay home and head over with the rest of the team,” Tim explained. “James, I thought you would have already considered all of this. I mean, it was always on the cards. Why are you stalling on making a decision? What’s wrong? Is it Anna?”

  “No, not at all. Anna’s great. And training is fine. You have nothing to worry about.”

  “But…”

  James was unable to hide the apprehension etched on his face. He’d never be able to convince Tim that everything was hunky dory. “Well, it’s just…I got this weird phone call this morning. I mean really early. I wasn’t even up for training yet,” James began. When he had explained the situation, Tim just stared at him blankly.

  “James, I didn’t want to worry you. You know, with everything that has been happening lately, I didn’t want to add to your stress.”

  “Tim! Spit it out,” James snapped, sitting up rigidly.

  “I have been receiving some pretty strange letters too. None are signed and they all basically say the same thing. They keep repeating for you to stay away from her,” Tim admitted.

  “What? How many?”

  “Seven.”

  “Since when?”

  “Since your engagement was announced. Here,” Tim said, opening the bottom drawer of his desk and handing James a manila folder.

  James took the folder and opened it slowly, unsure of what was awaiting him. Each letter was addressed directly to James and all demanded the same thing. They were all neatly typed and printed out on thick cream parchment paper.

  “What the fuck is this? Some kind of sick joke? ’Cause I’m sure as shit not fucking laughing,” James snapped. He hated the idea that he was fighting a faceless villain.

  “James, I didn’t tell you about these because I thought it would be a waste of worry on your part. But if it has escalated to the point where you are getting calls on your private mobile number, it’s time we get the police involved,” Tim suggested.

  “I don’t understand. Who am I staying away from? What does this maniac want?” James was pacing back and forth across the office, wringing his hands violently.

  “James, you’re not stupid. You know who they want you to stay away from. You just don’t want to admit it because as soon as you say it out loud, then it becomes real. I know you. It’s Anna. You know it and I know it.”

  “But why Anna? How do you know? It might not be her.”

  “Come on, James. Wake up.” Tim sighed heavily. “You announce that you’re engaged, you introduce her to the world, and then within days strange letters and threatening phone calls start arriving. James, don’t pretend to be an idiot. It doesn’t suit you. And now you know what you have to do. You have to tell Anna.”

  “No!” James shouted menacingly. “I can’t.”

  “James, she has to know. If someone out there is telling you to stay away from her there’s a reason. And if they are truly after Anna, she needs to know. She needs to know what’s going on so she to keep her eyes open. She’s in more danger if she’s kept in the dark. And even if you don’t want to admit it, you know I’m right,” Tim appealed to James’s sense of duty and his love of Anna.

  After a silence that felt like it would never end, James slumped down in the armchair and looked James straight in the eye. “Okay. I’ll tell her. You can let the police know. And let the English know I am unavailable. I’ll go with the rest of the team. And that isn’t up for debate,” James stated as he walked out of the office, slamming the door behind him.

  James spent a long time that morning walking the streets just watching people passing, wondering who was turning his life upside down. After training late that afternoon he knew he couldn’t delay it any longer. With a heavy heart, he climbed into his car and headed towards Anna’s.

  On the day he wanted to delay the trip as much as possible, the day he wished for every red light, the world was against him. He pulled into a parking spot before he’d rehearsed his speech in his head. The reality of the situation was beginning to overwhelm him. He was being stalked. And somehow Anna had become collateral damage. With a few short words, and the flash of a picture he had dragged her into the spotlight, and in doing so he had put her in danger. Now someone wanted to hurt her and James was powerless to protect her.

  Walking up the pathway, James was caught in a dream when he ran collided with Anna. The surprise was evident in Anna face. “Hey!” She smiled as she jumped into his waiting arms.

  “Hey yourself. You heading out?” James asked.

  “Just grocery shopping. Nothing exciting. But you’re a much better offer.” Anna giggled, spinning around and leading him back into the building. Once they had flopped down in the old comfy chairs, Anna snuggled into his chest. “So, what can I do for you?”

  “We need to talk,” James grumbled, pulling away from her.

  ***

  Anna

  The first thought that went through Anna was sheer terror. She couldn’t help it. And she couldn’t stop it even if she wanted to. There was a harshness in James’s words that freaked her out.

  “What is it? What’s going on?” she spluttered.

  Once James explained what was going on Anna was almost shivering. She had been shaken to the core by his revelation. She had never imagined she could become a target. When it finally sunk in, Anna leapt off the lounge and rang her parents. She didn’t know what else to do. Anna’s family were initially shocked to hear what was going on but quickly slipped into the practical problem solvers Anna knew them to be. Within minutes it had been arranged that Anna, James, and James’s family would escape to Anna’s parents place on the coast for a break. They would use it as a retreat, a place where they could relax out of the media’s watchful eye, and hopefully the letter writer’s as well. Despite the reasons for the hasty retreat, they were all silently looking forward to getting to know each other and relaxing at the same time.

  Chapter 9

  Along the sandy shores of the beach in the small coastal town hidden between the mountains and the forest, James and Anna acted like love struck teenagers. As the clouds rolled in with the afternoon storm, a thick blanket of mist consumed the horizon. Refusing to let the weather ruin her euphoric buzz, Anna swallowed. The little girl inside of her always associated a storm rol
ling in with the change that it would inevitably bring.

  Wrapping her arms even tighter around James’s shoulders, Anna buried her head in his neck. She was perched precariously on his back, her legs wrapped around his waist as he piggy backed her down the beach. The wind whipped the sea water into a fine spray, coating them both, but neither noticed. They were so caught up in just being together.

  Up ahead they could see a young family playing cricket on the water’s edge. Small children filled the rock pools searching for crabs, starfish and pretty shells. James laughed merrily as a young girl with strawberry blonde hair called to her mother, “Mum, Mum! Guess what I’ve found? I got a starfish. Quick, Mum! Come look.” James could see the giddy excitement in the child’s face as her mother rushed over to see.

  James looked at Anna, whose eyes were fixed on a small boy and his father building a sandcastle. The small freckle-faced boy was running up and down the beach carrying buckets of water. As they got closer to the sandcastle, the boy stopped and stared straight at them. His face changed in an instant, almost as if he had seen a ghost. Then, without another thought he dropped the bucket and pointed at James. “You’re James Thompson!” he stated, looking up at James, waiting for confirmation.

  The young boy had recognised James walking the beach. He couldn’t have been be any more than six or seven years old yet he still knew who James was. “That’s me,” James confirmed with a wide grin. “What’s your name?”

  The boy’s father saw his son shaking hands with a tall stranger and rushed over to intercept. It was an in-built reflex, like he half expected James to hurt his son. He ran across the beach and grabbed his son’s arms, yanking him out of James’s grasp, without even pausing to glance at James.

  “I thought I told you to never talk to strangers,” he began, already lecturing his son.

  “But Dad…” he was pleading, his eyes wide.

  “Don’t ‘but Dad’ me. You know better.”

  “Dad, I do know him. He’s James Thompson.” At that moment the boy’s father dropped his son’s hand, spun around, and stared straight into James’s face.

  His face fell with embarrassment. “Sorry, mate, I didn’t realise,” he confessed as he stole a look at Anna.

  James shook it off without hesitation or grudge. Extending his hand, James just offered him a casual smile. “It’s cool. I’m James and this is my fiancée, Anna.” Anna had gotten used to being introduced as his fiancée and still, after hearing it a thousand times, found it amusing and slightly odd.

  “Hi. I’m Paul. And I guess you’ve met my son, Jarred.” After a few minutes of talking and laughing, James and Anna continued their walk, although their mood had been lightened.

  There on the beach Anna had seen what families do. Build sandcastles, scour rock pools and run and laugh like nothing else mattered but that moment. This was the life that Anna never thought she would be able to have with James. As much as she loved him their lives had been so hectic right from the start that Anna had given up the notion that she and James would one day have a family of their own. But in that brief moment on the beach, Anna saw James’s eyes light up as he talked to that young boy. Anna knew it was the life that James never imagined he could have, but suddenly it seemed possible. And without even discussing it, she knew it was something they both wanted.

  “You were so great with that little boy and his father. Even if the father did look like he wanted to kill you.” Anna laughed.

  “I was, wasn’t I?” James murmured, wrapping his arm around Anna’s shoulders. “You know what was weird about that whole thing?”

  Anna just looked up at James with a puzzled look. “What?”

  “I actually understood how that father felt. I mean, think about it. All he saw was his son talking to a stranger and he lost it. I mean, with the way that things are these days, you never quite know what anyone is going to do. His first instinct was to protect his family. So that’s exactly what he did. Protect first, ask questions later. I admire him for that,” James explained thoughtfully.

  “Don’t tell me you’ve gone all clucky on me?” Anna teased, giving him a hug. “Let’s go home,” she nudged, leading him over the sand dunes.

  But before they left they paused on the dunes and looked back the way they’d come. The white waves were still crashing on the shore. The sun was disappearing on the horizon. The sky was turning red, then pink, then a cool and tranquil deep purple. As the day faded into twilight, the sea gulls fell silent and the night sounds took over. It was a magical time of the day, one both James and Anna enjoyed no matter where they were. The cool smooth silver of a dolphin’s dorsal fin cut through the water like a knife through butter. James and Anna watched as the dolphins begin to dance and leap out of the water, landing with a splat. Their playful antics continued as James and Anna disappeared through the shrubs and headed for home.

  Opening the front door of Anna’s parents’ place, they were ambushed by Kelley and Kate. Before they could take another step the two young girls had them blindfolded. With a mischievous cackle, they marched them through the house into the lounge and sat them down, leaving them with very strict instructions not to move or touch their blindfolds. Kelley was the look out. If they attempted to move or take off their blindfolds their lives would end, she threatened weakly.

  After five minutes Anna and James were blindfolded and bored. Anna dropped her head into James’s lap. “Hey Missy! Careful with the goods,” he scolded.

  “Sorry,” Anna cooed back, reaching her hand up behind his head and pulling it towards hers.

  When they broke apart breathless moments later, Kelley coughed dramatically. “Excuse me, I’m still in the room!” she reminded them. Anna could just picture her sister trying to maintain her exasperation. Kelley would have her arms folded across her chest and her eyes would have rolled back in her head. It was the same pose that Kelley had every time she didn’t get her way.

  Embarrassed, Anna dropped her head back into James’s lap. Almost instantly his fingers were running though her hair. It was a small gesture but one that never failed to soothe her or make her sleepy. Unable to swallow her yawn, Anna snuggled further against James’s warm body.

  “Sleepy, Princess?” James asked, pushing a stray curl from her forehead.

  When Anna only managed a murmur reply, Kelley couldn’t stomach their PDA session anymore. “Get a room!” she muttered jealously.

  With one hand twisted through Anna’s hair, James began tracing lazy circles along her arm, leaving a trail of goose pimples behind him. Anna sighed but said nothing. The subtle changes in her body were unnoticeable to anyone but James.

  “Seriously, Kelley, how much longer?” James breathed huskily.

  Anna wiggled in his arms. She was in hell. All her thoughts were quickly becoming R-rated and not only was she stuck in a room with her sister, but it was in her parents’ house.

  “Not long. Why?” Kelley asked, exasperated. Without missing a beat, James laughed. “’Cause I can think of much better ways to spend the afternoon with Anna, and trust me, I have absolutely no objections to keeping her blindfolded.” With a smirk James bent down and placed a chaste kiss on Anna’s neck before whispering, “Play along,” into her ear.

  Anna felt a blush consume her whole body. This is what this man did to her. He turned her to mush. James’s fingers skirted their way along the edge of Anna’s shirt before ducking under the hem. Anna’s breath hitched. With a wicked smile, James continued tracing patterns on her skin.

  “Oh my god!” Kelley exclaimed. “You two make me want to vomit.” James heard Kelley stomp across the room but managed to restrain his laughter until he heard the door slam.

  As Anna cracked up she managed to scold him, “That was so mean!”

  “To who?” James breathed against the back of Anna’s hand before dotting it with light kisses. “To Kelley…” another kiss, “or you?”

  Frustrated with her inability to form actual words, Anna growled. James chu
ckled with satisfaction. Anna knew James was enjoying driving her nuts. He loved getting under her skin. But Anna knew she wasn’t the only one that was affected. With James’s perfect body so close to hers, even if he didn’t want to admit it, Anna knew that he too was being tortured.

  James shifted awkwardly in his seat and Anna couldn’t refrain from exacting her revenge. “Feels like someone isn’t as immune as he would like to think he is!” She giggled, unable to contain the cute snort that followed.

  “You suck!” James snarled.

  “You wish!” Anna baited him. With a painful moan, James moved quickly, and before Anna had a chance to react, James was straddling her hips.

  “Get off!” she protested pathetically.

  “Hell no!” James retorted, grabbing both her wrists in one hand and pinning them above her head. Dropping a wet kiss on her neck, James ran his free hand down her side and began to tickle her ribs mercilessly. “You ready to say sorry yet?” he taunted.

  “What for?” Anna panted as she continued to squirm beneath him.

  “What for? Being mean to me,” James sniggered.

  “Or for pointing out the obvious?” Anna asked with a smirk, deliberately bumping his erection that was pressing into her stomach.

  With a snarl that emanated from the back of his throat, James relented, letting go of her arms and flattening his body on top of hers. “You really do hate me, woman!”

  Squashed beneath James, blindfolded, and aroused more than ever before, Anna wrapped her arms around James’s neck and pulled his face to hers. “I’m sorry I make things so hard for you,” she exhaled breathlessly before another fit of giggles consumed her.

  “Bitch!” James scolded, unable to stop himself from joining the laughter.

  They were so caught up in their own world that they didn’t hear the door open and someone walk in. “You guys are gross!” Kelley whined, snapping them back to attention. “You ready for your surprise or would you prefer to get a room?”