The Isle of Song

by Hilary Wilde

  `Even more fortunate that you were paying me a visit,' Simon said, and he, too, sounded annoyed.

  `Only because you had invited me,' Caterina replied sharply. 'I understood we were to have a discussion on what you called mutually vital matters.'

  Simon's voice was hard as he replied: 'They no longer seem so vital.'

  `On the contrary,' Caterina told him, 'this little

  episode makes me think that they are even more vital.'

  `Caterina,' Simon sounded momentarily weary,

  `I'm not in the mood to fight. Let's leave it until

  another day.'

  Caterina laughed as Kate lay very still, trying to keep her breathing even so that they would believe her to be asleep. She could not bear to open her eyes —to see the way they must be looking at one another.

  Caterina's laugh was suddenly soft, amused, understanding and placating.

  `All right, my poor Simon. You have had enough for one day, is that it? We will postpone our important and interesting talk yet another time ...'

  Caterina's voice faded away and Kate heard a door close. She opened her eyes and found herself alone in the lofty cool white room. She moved her arm gingerly. It felt stiff. She still felt nauseated, but a delicious sleepiness was creeping over her as she closed her eyes.

  How long she slept, how many injections she had, Kate never knew. She lived in a vague sleepy world in which she opened her eyes and closed them again, drifting on clouds of complete indifference as to what was going on around her.

  She was startled when one day she awoke and was told she had been in hospital for three days.

  `But was I really ill ?' she asked.

  Caterina, sitting by her side, smiled. 'What do you mean by ill, Kate ? Were you at death's door ? No. But if we had done the wrong thing, you might have been. Unfortunately you were allergic to some of the drugs we gave you and matters were complicated. Your arm is sore ?'

  Kate gingerly moved the heavily bandaged arm. 'It is a bit.'

  `I'm afraid it will be for a while, Kate. I had to operate.'

  `I don't remember a thing,' Kate said slowly.

  `You were the fortunate one. We were worried. However, Kate, your illness did me a favour. Something that Simon and I have been fighting about for months has now been decided.' Caterina laughed happily. 'So, although it sounds foolish, I must thank you for getting bitten by a spider. Now, I must leave you.'

  `Simon must be mad with me,' said Kate.

  Caterina laughed again. She seemed a different person, Kate thought. Happier, more relaxed, much friendlier.

  `If Simon is mad with anyone,' she said, 'it is with me, for as usual, as he would say, I had my way. Sleep well. Later today, you can have visitors.'

  Kate lay very still after Caterina had left her. Why had Caterina changed so much ? Why did she seem so much more friendly ? Caterina had said she had had her way. What did that mean ? How sarcastically she had spoken when she found Simon on his knees by Kate's side, his mouth against her arm. What was it Caterina had said ? It was something about disturbing a romantic scene. Could Caterina have been jealous?

  Kate drew a long deep breath. If Caterina had been jealous, the jealousy had gone now. Caterina seemed assured, almost triumphant Didn't that mean, then, that Jerome was probably right and the obstacle to Simon's marriage to Caterina was Caterina's refusal to stop being a doctor? It seemed logical, even more so now, for if Caterina had won, as she had said

  triumphantly, then Simon must have accepted the fact that he was going to have what Jerome called a part-time wife. That meant — could only mean — that Simon loved Caterina very much indeed, Kate thought unhappily. But then she had always known that — for she had never hoped, even for one brief moment, that Simon could ever fall in love with her.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  WHEN Simon visited Kate for the first time, she felt that he was ill at ease because he roamed restlessly round the small ward, hardly looking at her, as he tested the mosquito screens at the window and the springs of the bed.

  `You're comfy ?' he asked. 'D'you find it noisy here?'

  Kate was startled by the questions. 'I've been asleep most of the time,' she told him. 'I did hear a baby crying this morning, but...'

  `Of course you've been under pretty heavy sedation,' he said, standing by the bed, looking down at her thoughtfully. 'You really feel better? How's the arm? Pretty sore, I expect.'

  `A little. I'm sorry, Simon,' Kate said quickly.

  His thick tufted eyebrows drew closer together as he frowned. 'Whatever for ?'

  `Being such a nuisance,' she explained, colouring.

  `Forget it,' he said curtly. 'You weren't to know you'd walk into a spider, but whatever made you go there in the first place?'

  Kate told him about the passage in his great-aunt's diary.

  `She said it was the first tiki she'd seen with a smile.'

  `I've never seen one. They were stern gods,' said

  Simon.

  `But this one did have a smile,' Kate persisted.

  Simon looked sceptical.

  `It did, really,' Kate repeated.

  Simon was looking at his watch. `Caterina said I wasn't to stay too long, so I'll be off. Do what she tells you and don't rush things, Kate,' he added curtly, and left the room.

  How empty it seemed after he had gone, Kate thought. His personality seemed to fill the room, and now . . . But that, she told herself, was something she must learn to accept — for that was the way it would always be.

  She was glad when Nancy noisily arrived, full of chatter, curling up on the foot of the bed until the nurse came in with a frown, to give her a chair and then straighten the bedclothes.

  `Not to worry, Kate,' Nancy said cheerfully. 'About your work, I mean, for I'm helping Adam in the evenings.'

  `But I'll be back soon, and . . .' Kate began. 'Evenings are for fun.'

  `It is fun,' said Nancy, curling up in the chair and tossing off her shoes. 'I never knew figures could be fun, before. Adam and I enjoy it, I promise you. In any case, Jerome and Simon have been coming up to the hospital every night, and scrabble for two isn't so much fun. I suggested if I helped that it might stop there being a pile of work when you got back and Adam jumped at it.'

  `He's very nice to work for, isn't he ?' said Kate, stifling a sleepy yawn.

  `He's nice altogether,' said Nancy, suddenly darting to the window. 'What a lovely moon. Adam's

  waiting for me in the car. I guess we'll go for a drive.' She swung round. 'He's much more — more human, these days, isn't he, Kate ?'

  Kate yawned. 'Who .? Oh, Adam. Yes, but I think he always was, but he had a very sad thing happen, Nancy. The girl he was going to marry jilted him and then got killed with her husband a short while later. Apparently Adam went to bits and lost all ambition or desire to live.'

  Nancy stared out of the window. 'He never told me that,' she said slowly.

  `I don't suppose it's a thing he wants to talk about. Maybe he's beginning to get over it,' Kate suggested. `That's why he seems more . . . what you call human. I've always liked him very much — he's the sort of person who never has moods and is easy to get on with.'

  Nancy swung round to look at her. 'Yes, you always got on well with him, didn't you ?' she said in a strange voice. 'Well, I'd better be off, Caterina said we mustn't tire you.'

  `Thanks for coming, and give Adam my love,' said Kate, and gave another yawn. 'I've never felt so sleepy in my life before.'

  Nancy stood still for a second before turning to the door. 'You always were the lucky one,' she said, and left the room.

  Kate's sleepiness left her for a moment. Why had Nancy spoken like that — so bitterly ? Almost as if she was jealous.

  The nurse came in, bustling round with an injection and a warm drink. 'Now we're going to have a good

  night, aren't we dear ?' she beamed as she settled Kate. Kate yawned. 'I don't think anything could stop me,' she said.

  But something di
d stop her. Simon. Every time Kate seemed to be slipping into sleep she would find herself remembering something Simon had said — or from behind closed eyes she would see his long thin face with the absurdly square stubborn chin — or feel again the electric touch of his hand on hers — or worse still, the hard warmth of his mouth on her lips as he held her close and kissed her.

  `What's in a kiss ?' Simon had said or implied.

  Everything, Kate thought unhappily. Just everything. If Caterina had not arranged it so that Kate became the Queen of the evening, Simon would never have kissed her and Kate would never have known she loved him.

  Or would she have discovered it in any case, one day? Kate wondered. Had she known she loved him for a long time and just refused to recognize it? Even when she had disliked him most, she had always been very conscious of him, very aware of his good looks and personality, very impressed by him. Had that been love and had she tried to refuse to admit it?

  At last she fell asleep, but it was a restless night, disturbed with dreams in which she either lay in Simon's arms or danced at his wedding to Caterina.

  It seemed a long week to Kate, but Caterina would not let her go back to the big house until the swollen arm was its normal size, and even then, Kate was told she must rest every afternoon and have a regular check-up.

  `Maybe it sounds absurd for a spider bite to cause so much trouble, Kate,' Caterina said in her new friendly manner, 'but believe me, there are so many kinds of spiders and we don't know enough about them to take risks. It is better to be too careful than not careful enough. Tell me, why did you go to the falls, that day ?'

  Kate repeated what she had already told Simon.

  `His great-aunt was very unhappy one day when she found this tiki that smiled, and somehow it helped her.'

  Caterina gave her a shrewd look. 'And you were feeling unhappy and decided to look for the tiki?'

  Kate felt her cheeks burning. 'I'd had a headache and felt a walk might do me good.'

  Caterina looked amused. 'In the hot afternoon air ?' `I always forget it's so hot,' Kate confessed.

  Caterina nodded. 'Simon was the same, at first, until he adapted himself to this new way of life. Sometime, Kate, I would like to read those diaries. Who has the key of the studio, or is it no longer locked ?'

  `I have.' Kate smiled ruefully as she went on, `When Simon gave it to me he warned me not to lose it, so I always keep it in my dressing-table drawer. Any time you want it, Caterina, I can let you have it.'

  `Thank you.' Caterina stared at Kate thoughtfully. `You're working on these diaries ?'

  `Simon asked me to do a synopsis of them so that he could ask a publisher friend if they would make a book.'

  `You think it's a good idea ?'

  `I didn't at first, but I do now,' said Kate. 'I think they'd not only be interesting but — help other people who are ... are unhappy.'

  `You are unhappy ?' Caterina leaned forward. `You're not happy on the island, Kate, are you ? I know Jerome is always afraid of that.'

  `I'm happy,' Kate said quickly. 'I love it here.'

  Caterina seemed to relax. 'I'm glad, for it often worries Jerome. He says you came against your better judgment.'

  But I was wrong,' Kate said earnestly. 'Very wrong, Caterina. Simon was right — this was a wonderful chance for us all and I'm very glad we came.'

  Caterina smiled. 'So am I. It has done Simon a great deal of good — and Adam, also.'

  `Then I can go home tomorrow ?' Kate asked.

  Home! The big house is home to me, she thought, but it won't always be for in the end, we'll have to go and Caterina will live there with Simon, she knew.

  Caterina stood up. 'Yes. I will arrange for Taro to fetch you, but remember, don't do too much at first.'

  `I won't,' Kate promised.

  The car came to fetch Kate, and when she was back at the big house, she thought it was going to be difficult to carry out Caterina's instructions, for when Kate strolled down to the office she found Adam absolutely snowed under with work.

  `Nancy told me she was helping you,' said Kate, a little dismayed at the work awaiting her.

  Adam gave his slow sweet smile. 'She thought she was, Kate, I hadn't the heart to tell her she hadn't a clue, so I finally gave her odd jobs that wouldn't

  mess up what you'd already done.'

  `But . .' Kate began.

  Adam stood up and came to Kate's side. 'Look, Kate, Nancy wanted to help me and she tried very hard indeed. She's a sweet kid, Kate. I only wish she was a few years older or I was a few years younger.'

  Kate stared at him in amazement, trying to grasp what Adam had just said.

  `You mean you...'

  He nodded, his grave face lighting up. 'Yes, I mean just that. I'm completely, utterly and hopelessly in love with Nancy,' he said with a rueful smile. 'I know it's ridiculous of me, but I can't help it. I even dared to fancy I had a chance with her, but then, quite suddenly, she changed.'

  Kate held her breath for a second as she remembered Nancy's visit to the hospital.

  `When was that ?'

  Adam sighed, running a hand over his dark hair. 'I don't know — about a week ago. Yes, I remember,' he said suddenly. 'I'd driven Nancy to the hospital and we planned a moonlight drive, but when she came out, she said she'd got a headache and I had to drive her home, and she's been funny ever since.'

  Kate sat down on the edge of a desk. 'Oh, Adam, how stupid can I be!' she said slowly. 'I remember that evening. It was when I was most frightfully sleepy and not quite all there, I think. I remember Nancy telling me how she enjoyed working with you, what fun you were and . . . and all that, and I said I'd always got on well with you and I sent you my love.'Kate's cheeks were hot as she gazed up at him. 'You know how

  one says that, without really meaning it. I mean, it's just an expression. Then — then she said something I've never forgotten. It was so unlike Nancy, Adam. She sounded bitter and jealous and she told me I always was the lucky one.'

  For a moment they stared at one another silently and then Kate stood up. 'Oh, Adam, I'm so happy for you both. I'm sure she was trying to tell me she was falling in love with you and I had to go and spoil things. I'm so sorry, Adam. I'm sure if you tell Nancy you love her . .

  Adam's eyes were bright with excitement. 'Thanks, Kate. I can't believe it, though... and yet in a way, I can. We were so happy together until ..

  `Until I was so stupid,' Kate finished, moving impulsively to Adam's side and lifting her face to kiss him quickly. 'I'm so happy !'

  A little cough made Kate swing round, startled. Simon stood in the doorway watching them.

  `So you're back again, Kate,' he said slowly. 'Rather soon to be back at work, I feel, if this can, of course, be called work.' His voice was cool and faintly sarcastic and Kate knew that the fact that she was kissing Adam meant nothing to him. Simon turned to Adam, his voice impersonal. 'Have you those figures ready yet ?'

  Adam smiled happily. 'Yes, I finished them this morning. Here they are.' He held out a sheaf of papers which Simon took.

  Simon looked at Kate for a second. `No work today, Kate, and Caterina said a rest every afternoon. Remember ?'

  She nodded. 'I just wanted to see Adam.'

  `There's no need to tell me that,' Simon replied, with the same cool sarcastic tone he had used before. `It's obvious.'

  After Simon had gone, Adam asked Kate eagerly if she really thought Nancy loved him.

  `I can be patient. She's very young and I'm . . . well, I'm

  `An old and senile man,' Kate said, laughing lightly. `Oh, Adam, how could I have been so blind ? She always liked you and I can even remember once that she said something about spending so much time with Ian, only because there was no one else who liked her.'

  `I always loved her, I think,' Adam said thoughtfully, `but I felt she liked younger people.'

  Kate's hand flew to her mouth with a childish gesture of dismay. 'I think I said that, too, Adam. I'm so sorry !'

  Ad
am gave her a brotherly hug. 'Forget it, Kate. We all say wrong things sometimes. Now you'd better stroll back and rest or Simon will tear a strip off you. He's not in a good mood at the moment.'

  `Why ever not ?' Kate asked. 'I'd have thought . . She stopped herself just in time from saying something that was mere conjecture and not fact at all. "Bye for now, and good luck with Nancy,' she added.

  Adam smiled and lifted a hand and Kate walked slowly back to the big house.

  It seemed strange to Kate that evening to be back again. Although she had not been in hospital very

  long, it seemed to have been long enough to make her more on the outside of the circle than ever. Simon was friendly in a formal manner, rather inclined to stress Kate's need for not doing too much too soon. Caterina, who had been expected to join them for dinner, was unable to do so, as there had been two nasty accidents at the building headquarters, and she was caught up in emergency operations.

  Kate looked down the dining table and saw the subdued excitement on Adam's face. His eyes were glowing and he was making jokes which Nancy did not seem to appreciate, her young, pretty face almost sullen as she ate silently. Once Adam looked across the table at Kate and smiled at her — and Kate noticed that Nancy had chosen that moment to glance up, had seen the smile and hastily lowered her eyes, but not quickly enough to hide the pain in them.

  Kate enjoyed the exquisitely cooked dinner of crab souffle followed by paw-paw and ice cream with grenadillas, and longed to be able to tell Nancy that there was no need to look so miserable, that happiness was just round the corner, but she knew that she must leave it to Adam; she could see that he could hardly wait to get Nancy of on her own.

  But after dinner, Nancy seemed uncooperative, for when Adam suggested she teach him table tennis, she said she was tired. Jerome and Simon were talking and when no one was looking, Kate quietly slipped away. Soon Simon would take Jerome to his study and Nancy and Adam would be alone.