by Joe Weisberg
“Abe” my Mom says.
“Annie” my Dad says and that’s it.
Before I fell asleep I sort of 1/2 thought 1/2 dreamed about what if we were all walking down the street in New York and a psycho-killer dressed as a skeleton tried to cut our throats with a switchblade but I hit him so hard I broke his bones right where they were on his costume too. I have pretty fast reflexes. Then I thought what if everybody’s wearing a costume but me but I was sure Gillian would of said something if they were and they weren’t the type of people who wear costumes anyway and neither was I.
The next day which is Saturday at 2:45 my Mom drops me off at the train and says to me as I get out “Just be careful OK?” and I say “OK” and I go up over the overpass to the other side where the trains to New York are. Gillian and everybody else wasn’t there yet except for Kath.
“Hi Jeremy” she said.
She was wearing black pants and this shirt with long sleeves tucked out I think because of her being big and wanting to pretend she wasn’t and she gave me a big smile. She had a plain face and black hair that was short. Now I was there with just her.
“Hey” I said. “Kath.”
“You’re 2nd” she said.
“Oh.”
She turned around and looked down the track and she said “I really love New York”.
“Yeah it’s cool” I said.
“It really is” she said.
I looked at the parking lot but I didn’t see anybody.
“Do you go a lot?” Kath said.
“I go to my Dads office sometimes or out to dinner.”
“With your family?”
“I guess.”
“What does your Dad do Jeremy?”
“He’s a lawyer.”
“My Mom hates New York she didn’t even want me to go.”
“Why?”
“She thinks everyone in New York is a pusher. She said to me “Don’t go wandering around and don’t talk to people.”” She said this imitating her Moms voice. “Like everyone wants to kill you.”
“You’re old enough to take care of yourself.”
“She’s so paranoid.”
“Why would everybody want to kill you?” I said.
“Some people want to kill you.”
“Yeah” I said.
I didn’t see them coming but Gillian and Caroline got there then and then right before the train came Douglas got there too. Caroline was dressed like usual but with a red ribbon in her hair maybe like a Preppy anti-Preppy statement I guess for Halloween and Gillian was dressed up a little in a really short skirt and skin colored panty hose and her usual red red lipstick. With her skirt I realized for the 1st time that she had legs. Douglas was even wearing these pretty nice pants and a very dark blue windbreaker it was kind of like everyone was all dressed up and I was glad Claire came in my room because I wasn’t going to dress up at all but then Claire before I left came in and opened my bottom drawer which I didn’t even know she knew what was in there and pulled out my special occasion corduroys which are blue and said “Definitely these.” They looked good I thought with the light blue Alligator shirt with the green alligator I was wearing so I wore them and didn’t take a jacket because it wasn’t cold. (My Dad hates that alligator. He always says you’re paying more for the alligator than the shirt). Later when I was about to go I went into Claires room and she was getting ready to go to her dance much later with Nell and she was dressed up in a dress made out of some kind of green felt or something she finally bought and I said “You look nice.”
“Thanks” she said.
Anyway we got on the train and we went to 1 of those 4 seats across from each other and someone was going to have to sit in the 1 across the aisle alone and I figured it would be me because they were all friends but Douglas sat there and put his feet up on the chair across from him and leaned down like some kind of rebel who owned the train car. I sat across from Gillian and Kath sat next to me across from Caroline. Caroline had a Walkman which was pretty cool and she put it on as soon as the train left and started almost dancing in her seat to the music totally in her own little world all the way to New York and Gillian and Kath and Me talked some about nothing much and after a while we were in New York.
So here we were. Gillian was walking with her legs in her skirt which I couldn’t help noticing but the rest of her wasn’t as hot and Kath looked like she was thinking about something and Douglas was next to Gillian talking and Caroline’s in a really good mood all of a sudden skipping even sometimes and spinning around in a circle like Mary Tyler Moore.
Anyway we walk a lot and finally we get to this place where they’re selling all kinds of stuff mostly jewelry and clothes on the street. It’s all 60s stuff for hippies but the people selling it aren’t hippies they’re from India or someplace.
The girls are looking at stuff and me and Douglas are hanging out and I say “Girls would be happy if they spent their whole lifes shopping.”
“Very True Statement” Douglas said.
“Yeah” I said.
“VTS.”
“What?” I said.
“Very True Statement.”
“Oh.”
(That was the origin of VTS).
Anyway it must take us 2 hours to get down that fucking street with them stopping everywhere and trying on everything finally Gillian buys some earrings that hang down really far from her ears and look like they’re from Ancient Egypt or Mesopotamia and Caroline buys and put on a brown metal bracelet with black designs in it and Kath doesn’t buy anything even though she tried on a lot of things she said “I love it” about but then she always took whatever it was off and made kind of a “Well” face at it then put it back.
“Let’s go” Caroline said when we left that street and she took off again. Later we were across the street from the World Trade Center which is a very famous building in New York. It’s 2 extremely tall white rectangle shaped buildings right next to each other. There’s nobody around except for a fountain and the whole thing looks like you’re on Mars if Mars had 2 buildings on it. Caroline goes around to the back where there aren’t any people either and it turns out there’s another building I didn’t know was back there there it’s black and shorter and we’re at the back of it and there’s hardly any space between it and 1 of the huge white buildings. But there is a little so we go into this little space between the buildings which is about 10 feet wide and there’s a staircase going down and Caroline goes about 1/2 way down and sits down on the stairs. So do we. It’s not at all totally dark yet and I just sort of know why Caroline took us here. It’s really cool. We’re all sitting there and Caroline says “Look” and she’s looking up so I look up and you can see straight up between the building and the other building and even though the black 1s not as tall it’s still very tall and they’re both right next to you so you just feel like you’re in Star Wars or something plus the sky which you only see this 1 piece of inbetween the 2 buildings at the top is a shape of sky you don’t see too much or ever and it’s weird because it’s just about the opposite but it makes me think of the super huge sky in The Grand Teton National Park and then Caroline says “It’s like a tunnel. But going up.” Nobody said anything and then she said “it’s so cool.” And it was.
We just sat there sometimes looking up. Gillian was sitting on the stair right over me and Douglas was in the middle of the stairs and Caroline was on the other side and so was Kath. When we were out there Caroline was singing Pink Floyd out loud.
WE DON’T NEED NO EDUCATION
WE DON’T NEED NO THOUGHT CONTROL
I DON’T KNOW THIS LINE
TEACHER LEAVE THOSE KIDS ALONE
This is so what Caroline types like because it’s so Fuck You to everybody. I prefer better songs. Like 2 Out Of 3 Ain’t Bad by Meatloaf which goes:
I WANT YOU I NEED YOU BUT THERE AIN’T NO WAY I’M EVER GONNA LOVE YOU NOW DON’T BE SAD CAUSE 2 OUT OF 3 AIN’T BAD
We can as human beings all
understand and relate to a relationship where the guy really likes the woman and wants her and needs her but just doesn’t feel she’s the 1 for him for all time.
Anyway it was getting pretty dark now and also a little cold. We rode the Subway into The Village where the big Halloween Parade was it was cool wandering around there it was night and there were a lot of college students and older people and people from every country. Older guys checked out Caroline a lot a few times they even said things like “Hey” and she’d give them a little “Hi - eat shit” smile and keep going I think it was because of her black stockings and her I’m a slut look and everything.
We ate dinner at a restaurant. Me and Douglas feasted on burgers and fries with BBQ Sauce and milk shakes and Kath sat eating a salad. I don’t remember what Gillian and Caroline ate.
Kath said “Where is that weird soccer Coach from?”
“Romania” I said.
“What the fucks he doing in Hutch Falls?” Douglas said.
“He come to theees cuntry for beeetr soccer life” I said and it sounded a lot like Coach Kurlyesku even more than I thought it would and everybody laughed.
Here’s the bad thing that happened. It was getting pretty late and the streets were filling up with people in costumes after dinner. The costumes were not like a Pirate or Ghost. People were dressed up as things you would never in a million years think of to dress up as like a carrot and a vacuum cleaner and a giant Tit. We were walking down this 1 street and then through these smaller streets and it was getting later and crowded. Caroline was smoking non-stop and Gillian smoked too I thought about smoking a cigarette but I decided not to. If my Dad found out (by smelling me or something) our house would cave in not with him yelling and screaming like some parents but with 1 of my Dads patented “Why do you think you did that” conversations with me where I never have a reason why I did it so I always end up being like “I don’t know” and he proves that’s why I shouldn’t of done it. Smoking though is a especially especially heinous crime and is probably the 1 thing you can get sent to reform school for in my family. And I didn’t want to smoke anyway.
Anyway people were going to this 1 street where the Parade was and you could tell the Parade was starting so we went over to the street and found a spot to stand in. Right after we got there the street suddenly got filled up totally with people in costumes marching some of them were in big groups of 20 people or more all dressed up 1/2 naked as Indians or something and then some people were alone with other people. There was The Lone Ranger with his horse and 2 people dressed up as gay guys holding hands. Everybody was screaming and making tons of noise. Some people were playing kazoos and violins and instruments. A group of men dressed up as women went by marching they were wearing dresses and they had a big float with basically a big Dick coming out of it skin colored and very realistic and they all had girls hairdos and lipstick on their lips. They were waving to the crowd and laughing and everybody was cheering a lot. Douglas was right next to me.
“Fags” I said.
“What?” he said.
“Fags” I said.
“Do you have some kind of problem with Fags?” Douglas said.
“No” I said.
“So why do you call them that?”
“I don’t know.”
Douglas turned around and left. I stood there for a second. I didn’t see the girls and I didn’t know where anybody was and I wondered if they’d go back without me. I wished I didn’t say Fag even though I didn’t know why it pissed him off so much everybody said it in the locker room all the time and it never bothered people.
I turned around and walked into the crowd. I saw Gillian leaning on a building made of brick with a cigarette and talking to Kath. You could tell they were talking about something important and that that important thing was probably me. A little over from them Caroline was sitting down on the sidewalk and she wasn’t smoking and Douglas was standing there I wanted to go over to Gillian and Kath but I was worried about Douglas being right there so I didn’t go over until Gillian saw me and once she did I had to go over but I went to the side of them further away from Douglas. When I got there Douglas walked around the corner and Caroline got up and followed him.
“Jeremy what happened?” Gillian said.
“I don’t know.”
“Douglas is really sensitive” Kath said.
“What’d you say?” Gillian said.
“I don’t know” I said.
“Well did something happen?” Gillian said.
“I think I said “Fag”” I said.
“Oh” said Gillian.
She took a worried puff on her cigarette.
“I don’t have anything against them” I said.
“I know” said Gillian. I just stood there.
“He really really doesn’t like that” she said.
“Is he into that or whatever?” I said.
Gillian said “No. He’s just sensitive about people.”
“Oh” I said.
“Drama drama drama” Kath said.
“It’s OK” Gillian said.
“Is he staying with you tonight?” Kath said to Gillian.
“I don’t know.”
I didn’t know he was staying over at Gillians but I knew they weren’t involved or anything it was just as friends.
Finally Caroline and Douglas came back and it was late now so we head to the train station. Later on the train Douglas commented on my jock mentality. Caroline was saying that the guys who made passes at her on the street were so gross and Douglas said “It’s the jock mentality. It breeds ignorance” and he looked at me.
That night I went into Claires room. She was in her red pajamas with Chinese letters on them sitting at her desk writing in her diary.
“What’re you writing?”
“About the dance.”
We looked at each other for a minute and I thought about asking her about the whole Fag thing but I didn’t think she knew much about Douglas and what he was like and stuff so I said “Goodnight” and went back to my room and my day ended with me turning the radio on to WMRQ and “Night Love” was on which is like “WMRQ with Night Luuuuv” and a song called I’m All Out Of Love (by Air Supply) was on which goes
I’M LYING ALONE WITH MY HEAD ON THE PHONE
THINKING OF YOU TIL IT HURTS I KNOW YOU HURT TOO BUT WHAT ELSE CAN WE
DO TORMENTED AND TORN APART
I WISH I COULD CARRY YOUR SMILE IN MY HEART FOR TIMES WHEN MY LIFE SEEMS SO LOW
IT WOULD MAKE ME BELIEVE WHAT TOMORROW COULD BRING WHEN TODAY DOESN’T REALLY KNOW
DOESN’T REALLY KNOW Then it goes
I’M ALL OUT OF LOVE
I’M SO LOST WITHOUT YOU
I KNOW YOU WERE RIGHT BELIEVING FOR SO LONG
I’M ALL OUT OF LOVE
WHAT AM I WITHOUT YOU
I CAN’T BE TOO LATE TO SAY THAT I WAS SO WRONG
When I hear this I think about Renee because this is to tell the truth how I feel about her except for the part about her hurting too and being torn apart and us not talking on the phone. After that song when I was waiting to fall asleep which I do with the radio on I thought about Douglas and who he was and if I liked him or not and the big Tit and all the guys saying Hi to Caroline and I pictured all the men dressed up as women and how fucking weird that stuff was and then I guess I fell asleep wondering about the world like why do we dress up in costumes. And why do we have parades. These are specific times when everybody decides to scream and yell and be happy and have fun. Why don’t we just have fun all the time? I don’t know. I guess it’s culture.
1. To go.
2. To eat.
3. I go to the school.
4. Yes.
5. Yes?
6. I go to the house.
7. Are you going to the Halloween dance?
8. Are you going to the Halloween dance?
9. End the dialogue.
CHAPTER 7
GILLIANS BASEMENT
; I’m sitting in Gillians basement with Gillian. It’s a long story how we got there. After we went to New York Gillian saw me in the hall and invited me to go out to the balcony where they smoke and eat lunch. I said I didn’t bring my lunch that day and she said to buy lunch in the Lunchroom and I said you can’t take trays out of the Lunchroom and she just sort of looked at me like “Well you could probably get away with it”. So I went.
The balcony is on the 2nd Floor at the back of the Main Building over the Maintenance Yard. The Maintenance Yard has a fence around it so no one can see you up there unless they’re really trying to. You have to go through this green door to get there and so I go through and they’re sitting out there and Caroline and Gillian are smoking I sit down against the railing where Douglas is too. It’s weird being there and I’m eating a hamburger with no fries and they’re talking then the door opens and Mr. Caddup the Painting and Drawing teacher who I’ve never had walks out. I start to freak out my Dad would pretty much kill me for being out there with people smoking and you can get suspended for smoking in school which I never even came close to before and Mr. Caddup goes to the end of the balcony and then he lights up a cigarette. “He bummed 1 from me once” Gillian leans over whispering to me.
OK! So anyway Douglas was his usual kind of serious bummed out self but he said hi and the whole Fag thing was no big deal anymore and then Gillian invited me out there again the next week and pretty soon I was going every couple days. Then 1 time we’re out there and I’m eating the worlds most disgusting pizza from the Lunchroom which I swear is wet like it got rained on and Gillian just says “Do you want to come over tonight and watch Space 2000” which is a big special about these people who get trapped in a corner of the Galaxy and discover this new world.
I have no idea these guys like that kind of stuff which I definitely want to watch because I enjoy Science Fiction except it’s the 1st Knicks game of the season that night. “You guys are watching Space 2000?”
“Not me” says Caroline.
“Boring” says Kath.
Gillian says “Just me and Douglas but everyone’s coming.”
“Cool.” Even though I want to watch the game but I want to watch Space 2000 too.