10th Grade

by Joe Weisberg

  And I can’t believe my Dad is still giving them to me like someone 15 years old wants to play with blocks! This is a problem with my Dad not getting it about my being more of an adult anyway he takes out the blocks and he says “Here the blocks.”

  “I’m a little old for blocks Dad.”

  So I go and sit on the couch and just wait for him. I have to admit though I was so bored I did kind of want to play with them.

  Anyway when my Dad is finally ready to go he takes 1 of those plastic hair brushes he uses that basically brush your hair by ripping it out of your skull out of his drawer and brushes his hair. Then he hands it to me and I use it even though this is basically like child abuse. Once most of my hair is on the brush instead of on my head we go.

  The 1st stop of course is Tannebaums Deli. Tannebaums Deli is small and really crowded and it’s the best corned beef on Earth and at 1/3 the price of the pricier delis everybody else goes to. My Dad calls it a premier deli. It’s a pretty big deal to go to Tannebaums Deli but it’s really near my Dads office and I wonder if he goes there all the time like every day or 2 who would stop him? In general he has this whole life in the city and nobody knows anything about it except Tannebaums and Mo Levitskys and he works. Maybe he has another secret family here! But I doubt it. He’s not that type.

  Anyway they say “Hello Counselor” to him when we come in like they know him and he’s a pretty big deal at Tannebaums maybe they don’t get a lot of lawyers. We blow off the menu because we know we’re having corned beef and chocolate egg creams and when it comes the sandwiches are so big the bread on top is basically hanging on to the sandwich for dear life. There’s also big pieces of corned beef and huge pieces of fat hanging down over the sides my Dad puts on lots of hot mustard and so do I even though I like the yellow mustard better because my Dad frowns on the yellow mustard and thinks it’s for kind of low-life people who don’t appreciate good food and flavor.

  Anyway we take our 1st huge bites which you can barely get in your mouth and we’re chowing down when my Dad says “So Jeremy lets talk about your grades.”

  Here’s some background history: We had a discussion over the summer where my Dad pretty much decided my grades were going to improve and 1st Semester it didn’t exactly happen that way. I already got nailed for that when we got back from England when 1st Semester grades came and my Dad calmly freaked out and explained the concept of responsibility and consequences to me which apparently I didn’t understand. But now Mr. Crain (my academic counselor) called my Dad at his office to tell him he spoke to my teachers and I wasn’t doing any better yet this semester and I never came to see him to receive any counseling about classes and homework. Mr. Crain stopped me in the hall and told me he called so I was waiting for this talk and here it was.

  “Your Mother and I both felt we had an agreement with you that you would improve your grades.”

  “I’m doing the best I can” I said.

  “I don’t believe that.”

  “Well believe it” I said. I paused for a second because that was a little harsh. He kind of squinted a little.

  “Jeremy I know you’re young and the future seems like it’s a long way away. But you will be applying to college in under 2 years and your grades are going to determine where you get in.”

  “College isn’t for everybody” I said.

  Not many things make my Dad stop eating his corned beef at Tannebaums but this was 1 of them.

  “Maybe not but it’s for everyone in this family” he said with his mouth stuffed with his corned beef.

  “I’m not doing that bad” I said. “Probably mostly Bs. And a couple Cs. Maybe 1 D+ or C–. A lot of kids get mostly Ds.”

  “We’re not talking about a lot of kids we’re talking about you. Is that the highest standard you want to set for yourself?”

  I hated when he asked questions like that it didn’t seem like you could answer them except the way he wanted you to. For once I wanted to say “why yes that’s the highest standard I want to set for myself” but instead I said “not really”.

  “Alright then. Lets work from there what would you like to achieve?”

  “More Bs I guess.”

  “That would be a start.”

  “Maybe another A (I already got 1 1st Semester in Creative Comp).”

  “Alright then.”

  “I could probably do better in English. Math I just suck at though and I’ve got Trig this semester which is even worse than geometry. And I’ve got Mr. Scow for American History. He’s a really weird guy. A total freak. Everybody who had him 1st Semester said your grades aren’t related to what you do in his class.”

  “Then start with English. What are the problems you’re having?” my Dad said.

  “The papers I guess. They’re stupid I mean we just read The Grapes Of Wrath by John Steinbeck. I read it. Most of it but then Mr. Fasbek wants us to write a paper about it and I don’t know what to write about there’s nothing to write.”

  “Of course there is” my Dad says.

  “Like what?”

  “Well you could write about about” my Dad says repeating about twice and then he looks up at the sky waving his hand with his corned beef in it around like there are about a million things you could write about and he says “about how 2 of the characters - how 2 of the characters - the interaction between 2 of the characters.”

  “Like what?”

  “Like what they say to each other. And how they act.”

  “Yeah but I don’t know how do you write a paper about that?”

  “You just write it” my Dad said.

  “Oh” I said.

  “Now what about history? Your teacher can’t be that bad.”

  “Oh yeah? When was the last time you went to school?”

  Because I was going along with my Dads plan to make a plan I could get away with saying stuff like that to him then.

  “What is it exactly about this teacher?” my Dad said.

  “Scow just wants you to copy dates and stuff from the book into the papers but then he’s like what’s your interpretation?

  I don’t know I don’t have an interpretation.”

  “You should have an interpretation.”

  “Why? I mean if I know all the stuff.”

  “Because that’s how you learn and because you have to interpret in college and after college in life.”

  “I’m not really into interpretation.”

  “Tough luck.”

  We didn’t say anything for a second.

  “What did you write your last paper on?” my Dad said.

  “The Industrial Revolution.”

  “Okay. What about it were you studying?”

  “How bad it was for the workers who actually did all the work.”

  “Fine there’s your interpretation the Industrial Revolution was very painful for the people - the people who - who did it.”

  I said “Yeah but it did a lot of good things too. All sorts of stuff got built and a lot got accomplished.”

  “Right. Good there’s the interpretation a lot of people got hurt but a lot got accomplished. That’s your interpretation.”

  “I just said that.”

  “I know. And there it is an interpretation.”

  “Dad that’s not an interpretation it’s just what Mr. Scow said 20 million times in class.”

  “It’s still an interpretation. And it’s a good start I think you know more than you give yourself credit for.” There was a pause and then he said “And to be Frank I’m also concerned you’re not reading enough. It’s very important for you to read more to cultivate reading as a habit a life long habit.”

  This was a lot like a rabbit telling you to cultivate carrot eating as a life long habit. My Dad said it to me about 40 million times since I was about 2.

  Finally just when I was thinking we weren’t going to talk about math Dad said “OK what about math?”

  “I just can’t do it” I said. “Can’t I just not be good a
t something?”

  “You can do anything you set your mind to” Dad said. “That grade has got to go up.”

  Thankfully that was the end of the talk and as sort of a celebration we ordered 2nd Egg Creams. My Dad then told me about some case he was working on for about an hour where some family business was breaking up and how the “Almighty Green” comes between families and how it’s important not to let that happen.

  When lunch is over we head to Mo Levitskys.

  1st we walk down to the Garment District. The Garment District is fairly skanky anyway but Mo Levitskys is in the very skankiest part of it in this thin street that most people would never even look in and definitely would not buy clothes here. If you know where to go you go through this door and up 2 floors of dirty fucked up stairs and then through a glass door that says “Mo Levitskys” and you’re in Mo Levitskys. It’s basically 1 big room and there’s so much stuff all over mostly racks of clothes and boxes you have to move sideways to go anywhere. Mo Levitskys is very cheap because Mo Levitsky gets everything straight from Korea where all the fancy stuff is made anyway I sometimes picture Mo Levitsky with a machine gun smuggling clothes out of Korea.

  Mo Levitsky is a pretty old fairly portly guy and he’s Jewish. Jews are very big in the Garment Trade. He has a Jewish accent (which my Dad doesn’t) and he’s nice in a “I’m so nice because I want you to buy stuff” way. When we come in Mo Levitsky comes up to my Dad and gives him this huge handshake like he’s the King Of England and says “Counselor! Welcome!” and my Dad tries to be low key but you can tell he’s psyched so for the next practically an hour we try on dress jackets and dress pants and shirts which is mostly work type stuff for my Dad and for me things I could wear on nice occasions or other wise. When my Dad sees something in my size which is taller than his like a green shirt he brings it over to me and I try it on and if my Dad likes it he nods and says “Do you like it?” and I say “Yeah” or “No” and my Dad makes me turn around and checks it all out and then I take it off and we look for the defect which everyone has 1 because that’s 1 reason it’s so cheap at Mo Levitskys and we look around until we find a little hole or a thread coming out usually somewhere you can’t see it and unless it’s something huge like a sleeve missing my Dad nods and I nod. Sometimes my Dad nods even if the sleeve is missing. Not really. But almost. Anyway everytime he likes something for him or me my Dad takes it up to the front and Mo Levitsky says “Very sharp Counselor very sharp” and then my Dad says how much and Mo Levitsky says “15” or “20” and finally there’s this whole pile of stuff and they forget everything they said before and Mo Levitsky just says “I’ll give it to you for $300” meaning everything and my Dad says “How about $150” and Mo Levitsky says “I have to make a living Counselor how about $270” and my Dad says “Let’s say $200” and Mo Levitsky says “Well for you you’re a good customer $250” and my Dad says “How about $220?” and Mo Levitsky says “OK $240” and my Dad says “OK.”

  I got a green button down shirt with a very very little hole in the underarm you couldn’t see and a black blazer which if I were Christopher Lemon I would wear to school and a blue button down and a white button down shirt to wear with the blazer on dress occasions and 3 T-shirts made out of this very European material and a 10 pack of new socks.

  So we walk back to my Dads office and then he goes back to work and I can go back to the train or wander around New York.

  CHAPTER 14

  OUR DAY IN THE CITY PART II (SECRET ADDENDUM)

  I don’t know if I’m going to include this chapter in the book or not because I break laws and might get in legal trouble but Mr. Rasfenjohn always says “Write Everything rewrite later” so I’ll write it and decide later. He also said just to me a couple times “Jeremy that which is true is noble and good” and what if he’s right? (I’m not in Creative Composition this semester by the way because I can’t take II until next year).

  Anyway my Dad goes back to work and I wander around New York I don’t really know where I’m going but maybe I’m going to Times Square where they drop the big Ball on New Years Eve and everything. They also have these dirty magazine etc. places which I have a healthy curiosity about so I just walk and I’m definitely having fun even though I don’t know where I am because of not being in school and it’s after school anyway and kids are everywhere and 1 thing I do is think about living in New York and hanging out with everybody going down the street and there are lots of groups of all black kids because a lot of black people live in New York. I thought about going and saying “What’s up?” and hanging around New York with them and bringing them to Hutch Falls and introducing them to some of the white kids and some of the black kids there.

  Anyway I see a bunch of non lit up neon signs and I realize I’m there a few blocks later the street is covered with Porno shops. It’s very interesting. They’ve got “Private Viewing Booths” where for 25 Cents people go I think and sit in a booth and watch a movie or sometimes a naked lady dancing. There are also places with just doors and then places with huge guys out front saying stuff like “Check-Out the beautiful all naked ladies here” but they’re bouncers too and they don’t say anything to me because it’s illegal for me to go in because I’m not 18. But I think it would be interesting to check out 1 of these places just to see what it’s like and to learn. The 1st thing I realize is I have to go in a place with no guy out front who’s going to card me and then some friend of my parents walks by and says “Jeremy Reskin what on Earth???” or maybe Mr. Bash (our next door neighbor) will come out of the store himself but at least then I can say “Well what are you doing here Mr. Bash??” if he says anything.

  Anyway I go by a place where like the other places you can’t see in and it says XXX MOVIES and SEX NOVELTIES and I look around and there are people on the street but no one really close or anything and I just go and push the door and go in.

  1st of all there aren’t a lot of people inside just 2 or 3. Everything’s white like inside hospitals. There are magazines and videotapes and billions of Dildos which since I don’t really suspect a lot of women go in here I don’t know what anybody’s doing with them. Right to my left is a glass case with lots of things in it and I’m curious to check it out but there’s this Indian guy or something right behind the counter and he says “Too small!” I look at him and he looks at me and he says “Too small too small” and waves his hands around like he’s crazy. “Huh?” I say but he says “You know too small 18 18” and he’s pissed now and I just stand there like there’s some big misunderstanding and I’m very very surprised and exasperated then he says “Too small!” again and I turn around and go back outside I walk pretty fast down the street and at least I know a lot more now about Dildos then I did 5 seconds before like there are a lot of them. I kind of wish Douglas was with me because he’s good at stuff like this and doesn’t care what anybody thinks about anything I don’t think.

  Anyway even though getting kicked out was a bummer I’m more into the whole thing now because it’s like if you’ve shot-up Heroin once you might as well do it again because you’ve already done it once and what’s the worse thing that could happen I could get thrown out again because I’ve learned now that’s what they do it’s not like they call the Cops or anything. I go in a couple more places but as soon as I go in I turn around and walk out just because I freak out slightly.

  I noticed by the way a lot of times there are Indian guys and stuff like that working in porno shops I think because it’s an opportunity for immigrants.

  Anyway I keep going and a few blocks later I see “PLEASURE AND ECSTASY ADULT FANTASY SHOP” which sounds interesting so I go across the street and go in and this place has very bright lights inside too just like a hospital and is almost empty except for 1 fat American guy behind the counter eating. He doesn’t look at me when I go in. I don’t get thrown out.

  I walk down an aisle with videos and check them out. Now I’m going to have to admit some things and I’m just going to go
for it like the truth and cross it out later but after looking at about 1 box I have to admit I was kind of turned on because who wouldn’t be even though this is kind of a gross place where you don’t want to be. But the boxes have pictures on them with women looking very hot and wearing nothing or barely nothing sometimes just bras or very tight T-shirts stretched across their Tits so you can see through them and 1/2 their Tits are coming out the top anyway and then they’re looking at you like they’re really into you even though they don’t even know you and basically I defy you to look at them for more than about 2 seconds without getting turned on.

  So about 1/2 way down the aisle I realize at the end of the aisle there’s another whole dark part of the store and I go look and this is where they’ve got “MOVIE BOOTHS” which I think means men basically going back there and letting it all hang out so to speak in a little room where let’s just say you don’t really want to walk around barefoot on the carpet or anything. I’m not totally sure what to do because I’m curious about the movies and want to learn about that too but the place is gross enough and the back part where all I’d have to do is go through this open door and turn to go there is just so super gross I don’t go. Not to mention who knows what other perverts are back there waiting to maybe turn you into their own personal floor. If you know what I mean. Not that I can’t take care of myself.

  Anyway I go back down a different aisle where there are a million magazines. The magazines versus the videos are very different and the people on them include men and they’ve got these big red dots on the parts of the pictures where the woman is for example doing something to the man but some of them don’t and you can basically see the whole thing. The magazines are kind of slimy looking, like the actual magazine is covered in slime or something and they’re from all over the place not just America like Finland or Sweden or France and so the women in them are from Finland or Sweden or France and those women are more into sex than American women because they look like it’s not even that big a deal to have these guys doing these things to them.