When I turn over the engine and drive off, I see it; the glint of a dark car, sitting down the driveway. Before I can get close, it shoots off into the dark of the night, disappearing on the main road toward the freeway.
I give chase, wondering who the hell is sitting in her driveway, watching us. A sickening knot winds up in my gut. Whoever it is, they know what happened. They know she and I are sleeping together. They couldn’t not know; from their vantage point, they’d be able to see right into her bedroom window. Sure, they’d need binoculars, but why else would they be there?
But on the freeway, the car vanishes into the flow of traffic and speeds off so fast I can’t imagine they won’t get pulled over. Thinking smart, I decide to set up some cameras on her driveways and call up Beau, the bodyguard I put on Olivia.
“What’s up, boss?” he growls into the phone.
“I need you to keep an eye on an address. Ready?” I ask. When he agrees, I rattle off the info and breathe easy. Beau will keep me informed. And he’ll send over one of his trusted guys to keep an eye on her. She’ll never know it, Beau assures me, and I trust him.
Once I’m off the phone, I head toward home, trying to decide what I’m going to do with Emma.
* * *
I wake up to Olivia climbing into bed with me. “Good morning,” I tell her, and she smiles and kisses my cheek.
“Will you make me pancakes?” she whispers, her blue eyes on mine. She’s heartbreakingly sweet and I kiss her nose.
“Of course,” I whisper back before asking, “Why are we whispering?”
She shrugs and cuddles in close. I hold her for a little while until I hear he belly growling. “Let’s get you those pancakes before your stomach opens up and swallows the room,” I say and she giggles and leaps up to race to my door.
After I’ve made her favorite pancakes, chocolate chip and banana, we sit at the table.
“Are you going to marry Emma?” she asks, drizzling a little maple syrup on the side of the plate so she can dip a bite at a time in it.
Taken aback, I look at her in shock. “What makes you think that?” I ask.
She shrugs, focusing on cutting her pancakes with mathematical precision. “I’ve been doing really well in school.”
“I know, honey,” I say, wondering how to handle the abrupt change in conversation. Still, her improvement was incredible. “I’m proud of you.” She was no longer staring fights. Her grades had risen to nearly perfect, and even her teachers had been sending home notes that she was an absolute pleasure to have in class.
“Thanks!” She says, her face lighting up with pleasure.
“Do you want me to marry Emma?” I ask, and she refuses to look at me. My heart sinks a little, and I worry she’s not willing to talk to me. “This is a safe space,” I tell her, motioning to the table. No right or wrong answers,” I say, remembering the guidance of the family therapist. “Tell me what’s on your mind.”
“I like her,” she says, “is that enough?” She seems puzzled by her feelings, and I decide to be honest with her.
“I’m not sure. I’m wondering the same thing. I like her, is it enough?”
She finally looks up at me, a smile on her face. And I realize it’s not the specifics that matter; she’s glad to know that, as an adult, I don’t have all the answers, either.
“I think so,” she says, and I dip my head in a bow to her thoughts.
* * *
It’s going to be hard. But now, with Olivia off to school and Sandy running errands, I have the house to myself. And I can make a call. A call I don’t want to make. One that will hurt. It will suck. But I have to do it.
Emma’s phone goes to voicemail; but I’m glad I can just talk to the machine.
“I’m sorry.” It’s a start. A good one, I think.
“I’m a terrible human being. I was going to marry you to get my hands on your ranch.” I take a breath, feeling lightheaded as I run a hand through my hair. I must be crazy. I’m giving her evidence, a recording of my voice to use against me.
“I screwed up, and I’m an asshole. I’m sorry.” It feels like punctuation now. But it’s not a lie. I really am sorry for even considering something so terrible. But Olivia made me realize something; I like her. It’s enough. I need to fix what I’ve broken if I want any chance of something more. And with Emma, it’ll be something real. Something right.
And as I speak, it gets easier. “I grew up with an abusive dad. He used to beat me, my mom, and both my brothers.”
“When he died, it created a rift between me and my brothers. Well, me and my family. Kyle thought it should have been me. And maybe he was right. I stood up to dad. I told him that I thought he was a shitty excuse for a human. That he was nothing more than a wife beating punk.” It hurts, even now, but I can’t quite tell her the one thing I should tell her. The one secret I’m keeping locked away in a box buried deep in my being. She doesn’t need to know.
No one needs to know.
“But that’s no excuse for what I did to you. What I was going to do to you,” I clarify. “I hope you can forgive me.”
As I hang up, I feel… free. Finally giving voice to the truth, owning up to how terrible I can be, is the most incredible feeling. And if Emma can see me at my worst and decide I’m worth something to her, well, then I’ll know.
Either way, I’ll know.
Chapter 30
Emma
I can’t believe I feel asleep on him. Still, it was gut wrenching to wake up and find that he’d slipped away at some point in the night. Not that I care all that much, of course. He can come and go. He has a life. A daughter. He can’t just stay forever, even after some amazing sex.
Besides, I have work to do. So much work to do.
I let Jenny and the colt out to pasture for some exercise and I realize the little colt doesn’t come up to me like he had to Olivia. That little girl had something special. The colt saw that. His fluffy coat was starting to come in glossy. His dark gray coloring and grey eyes left him looking like an incoming storm.
In every way, he reminds me of the man and girl who’d come into my life around the same time he had. They were a storm. A force to be reckoned with. They simultaneously offered life and doom all at once, like a tornado bringing rain and damage.
“Hey, Storm!” I shout. Aside from a twitch of his tail, he doesn’t even acknowledge me. Jenny walks over, offering her head for some rubs even as the colt takes off the other direction, racing into the wind like he’s a mustang on the open plains.
“Tornado!” I call, less sure this time. He continues to ignore me as Jenny lips at my shirt, her need for attention endearing. From the fence, I slip onto her bare back, feeling her under me for the first time in a long time. This little lady has been my favorite for as long as I can remember.
I grip on, turning her with my legs and holding her mane. Dad would have killed me if he saw me like this, I an open pasture, riding without gear, without safety. But it’s the most freeing feeling in the world.
“After him!” I tell her, but she’s ahead of me. The ground flies under us and she catches up to her little colt. With a glance, he challenges us and speeds up. He’s not the clumsy little colt he was, no, he’s growing. His legs are longer, and he’s clearly been thriving in his pasture time with his momma.
He races us, the wind, the world as we streak through the pasture. When Jenny begins to slow, he looks over at her, then keeps going for a while after she slows a bit. And I remember what Olivia said.
“Warrior!” I shout, and he turns and begins to trot our direction. Jenny lifts her head and drops it, lifts and lowers several times as if agreeing with us. The little colt trots right up, nibbles my leg, then tears up a mouthful of grass and begins munching.
“Warrior,” I mumble, liking it.
With a sense of victory, I ease Jenny into walk to cool her off and finally slip off her back at the fence. In the barn, I pull out my phone and see I’ve missed a call.
&n
bsp; From Kieran.
Dialing voicemail, I listen to every word, anger bubbling up in me. I was right. He was using me. Manipulating me.
He was going to marry me. What kind of human would do that to their child? To another human being? To themselves?
Then again, who would admit that?
Sure, he’d had a rough upbringing, and I feel bad for that. But he’s right, it doesn’t excuse it. But it does give me a bit of insight. Someone raised like that would become someone willing to do anything to succeed. Even evil things.
But he’d come clean. He’d told me the truth. And not because I’d caught him not because I’d cornered him. Not because he had too, or had taken things too far. No, it seemed like something had made him change his mind about how he was going at things.
He’d apologized.
He’d been painfully honest. He’d showed me the ugly thing he’d tried to do to me. And he hadn’t asked for anything.
And it feels like the ball is in my court. Like he’s letting me decide what happens next. And, as I think of Warrior in his pen, of Olivia telling me I’d be a good mom, of the heartbreaking raw honesty in his voicemail, I make a choice.
Dialing his number, I hold my breath as he answers.
“I have something for Olivia,” I say, and he sounds even and composed.
“Of course.”
We both fall silent, and as the second stretch on, it’s harder and harder to speak. “Um,” I say, “Would you consider going on a date with me?” I ask, and I hear him breathe out on the other end.
“It would be my pleasure.” He sounds relieved, and I want to laugh at him.
“By the way,” I say, “I’m pregnant.”
“Does the father know?” he asks dryly.
I can’t help but laugh. “Thank you for the voicemail,” I tell him, wanting him to know that it really meant something to me. “I deleted it.”
“I appreciate it,” he says, and I wonder if he’s holding something else back.
“Since I asked you out, am I setting up the date stuff?” I ask, amused. I’ve never asked someone out, nor have I seriously dated as an adult. There’s just no time. Or maybe that’s what I’ve been telling myself to keep heartbreak at bay.
“I’ll take care of everything,” he says, “with your permission.”
My heart melts at the implication that we’re partners, not that I’m just here to follow his orders. “I’d like that,” I say, warmth flooding my very soul.
We get off the phone, and I stand in the barn, feeling so very alone, yet happy. I walk over to Silver Charm and begin to talk to her as I get her ready for her stall to be mucked.
“So,” I tell her as she perks her ears and listens. “Dad used to talk to you all the time, and I know I’m just not as amazing as he was. But I’ve got something to tell you. There’s this guy…” I pick her hooves, brush her down, and tell her all about my problems and joys, and realize why dad did this all those years; the horses just listen.
Chapter 31
Kieran
With an excited Olivia rushing ahead, I walk toward the pasture Emma told us to meet her at. When I see her, it’s like I’ve been punched in the gut. She’s positively radiant. Her incredible hair is free flowing down her back and she’s focused on the horse in front of her; Jenny. Genuine Honor. Such an awesome name for a horse.
Beside Jenny is the little colt Olivia hasn’t stopped talking about for days.
Olivia races up to Emma’s side, and I see the girls throw their arms around each other in an easy embrace that’s as natural as rain. As I walk up, Emma gives me a little grin that has a profound effect on my body, and I wonder if I will ever get enough of her.
God knows I’m going to try.
“So, I said I have something for you,” Emma says, looking at Olivia, whose face is all alight with excitement. Emma looks out to the pasture and calls out, “Warrior!”
The little colt looks over, perking his ears before trotting over to us in a little show. Beside me, I feel Olivia choke up and put an arm around her. Emma looks over at Olivia, her voice gentle.
“You’d told him he was a warrior,” she says, her eyes meeting mine with a worried light at Olivia’s reaction. “And he likes the name. And he loves you,” she says as the little colt marches right up to Olivia and sniffs her face.
And a smile crosses Olivia’s lips. She reaches out a fist for the colt to sniff before rubbing his face.
“You’ll take good care of him, right?” Emma asks, and Olivia looks at her, confused. “He’s yours,” Emma says, and Olivia turns to me, her face full of questions.
“It’s rude to refuse a gift,” I say, meeting Emma’s stare. I want to ask her if she’s sure, if she really wants to give up the prized blood of this colt. After some research, real research, I’d learned the value of the animals here, and it’s nothing short of amazing what her family has built here. An empire of animals with liquid gold flowing through their veins.
But sweet Emma here is willing to give one to Olivia. One that bears a reminder of everything Olivia has come to face over the last few years. And Olivia’s face lights up as she spins to grip Emma in a tight hug.
“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” She says, her voice all joy and breathless excitement.
Emma looks at me, and I sense she’s talking to me. “You’re welcome to board him here, free of charge, and I’ll cover his expenses. Once he’s big enough, we’ll geld him so he’s safe.”
“I’ll pay for everything,” I say, unwilling to let it be a burden to her.
“We’ll talk about it later,” she says, and something in the way she says it destroys me. I want her. I want her alone, and I want her now.
“Should I go muck out Dreamer’s stall?” Olivia asks, but Emma shakes her head.
“I took care of it. You’re welcome to ride her, so long as you’re careful.” Emma watches Olivia, but her eyes flick to me.
Olivia seems unsure. “By myself?”
“I trust you,” Emma says, and Olivia positively swells with pride. “Make sure you wear your hard hat,” she says as Olivia races toward the barn.
“I will,” Olivia shouts back before slipping into the barn.
Words flood form Emma’s lips. “I’m sorry if that was--”
But I pull her into a kiss. She melts, her whole body mine as I slowly enjoy her. My tongue explores her full lower lip and she moans a sound of pure joy. I want her. But not just for now. I want her for as long as she’ll put up with me. How could anyone be so perfect, so in tune with Olivia, so wonderful a human being to take something so valuable and give it to someone who needed it?
Hell, I hadn’t known she needed it, but now it seems natural for Olivia to have her own horse. A horse named Warrior for my little warrior. Perfect.
How can I not love this woman?
* * *
“This is perfect,” Emma says, looking around. For our date, I’d decided to have a throwback to our first encounter. A picnic. With wine, grapes, cheese, and some sweet and savory snacks. On the same blanket we’d slept under the stars on that night.
I’d even made sure to use the same spot. In my dreams, I remember the sound of the wind in the trees and the water flowing that first time I’d tasted the perfection that is Emma.
“You’re perfect,” I say, kissing the tip of her nose.
“That’s just silly,” she murmurs as I place another kiss on her lips.
As the sky begins to fade to a brilliant orange and pink, I kiss her again, deeper this time. She responds, and I pull back. There will be plenty of time for all of that. I pour her a glass of wine and she takes it with a smile.
“Tell me about your dad,” I say, and she nods, her smile dimming, then shining brighter.
“He always talked to the horses. Like Olivia does, now.” Her eyes focus on something beyond us, and I find myself ready to listen. Really listen. I want to know what made Emma such an amazing person. I want every detail. Every tidbit she�
�s willing to share. I want all of her, her heart, her body, her soul.
But mostly, I want to know her.
“He was such a good man. He stepped up and took care of me even after my mother died. I think he just wanted to be done after she passed,” She says, and I feel my heart ache for her. “But he held on for me.”
She sips her wine and I follow suit, waiting for her to tell me more.
Waiting for her to tell me everything.
Epilogue
Emma
I’m not trying to be the woman they lost. I don’t want to take Olivia’s mother’s place. I’m here as her step mom. A sweet step mom. One she can some to, one she knows loves her.
And it’s hard sometimes.
Kieran isn’t perfect. Sometimes, he’s a downright dick. But he’s getting better. Day by day, he seems to be relaxing. His walls are coming down, and he talks to me. Really talks to me.
With a sigh, I hear him come in the door. Olivia is with Sandy at his house, and I’m here at mine, waiting for him. He said we had something important to talk about, and I’m hoping it’s not just a set up for him to ask me to marry him.
I’m not ready.
He’s not ready.
Olivia is ready, but she’s a child; she doesn’t understand everything that goes into this.
“I’m in here,” I call, but he’s behind me, his lips on my neck. And that familiar heat flares up in me, that excitement that only he can bring me.
“Come sit down,” he says, and I turn to face him, seeing both the primal lust in his eyes and a worry I’m nervous about.
We sit, side by side on the couch, and she takes some papers out of a bag he’d left. “I did something that might make you mad,” he says, studying me with those penetrating eyes. But I listen, not willing to jump to anger without hearing the reason.
Billionaire Bash: The Complete Steele Series Page 40