The Witch Within

by Iva Kenaz

  Rita, Otama and Hanah took me to the river today. We swam and also washed our clothes and laid them in the sun to let them absorb the elevating smell of the forest and fresh grass. I talked to the women about Edana and what they think of her decision to oust Yrsa, Myrun and Aoise. Otama shared my concerns.

  “Edana has to be tough because her strongest intention is to protect us and so I understand her decision, but I'm certain that the stubborn minds of those three won’t let her get away with it. They have helped us build this camp with an honest interest, and they also have the equal right to the cave.”

  That made me alert. I wanted to know more.

  “Haven’t you heard the story? Edana and the three sisters are blood related, although their ancestors were not from the same clan. Legend has it that a long time ago, when the ancient tribes started to build their settlements in these lands, they split into two camps and inhabited the two sacred caves – one that lies here on the Cursed Mount and another one that lies in the valley, which we haven’t found yet. Both the caves were told to be inhabited by powerful sorceresses and legends say the two clans had many disagreements, which later resulted in a battle - that famous battle on the fields where the marshes are now. Many warriors died that day and the sorceress from the Cursed Mount cast a spell on the spirits of the enemy clan. The sorceress from the valley cave attempted to save the poor warriors and their cursed souls, but the sorceress from the Cursed Mount stopped her. And thus the curse was retained and the warrior spirits keep waiting to be lifted one day. Sorcha told us that due to the prophecy, only when the sorceresses return to these lands, will the curse be finally fulfilled, or lifted.”

  Her words surprised me. My grandmother never told me the details of the legend. If this is true and Edana’s kin is related to mine, then I'm not only bound to her, but also to the three untameable souls. And if I found Algíz in my cave, who has Edana found by that menacing altar?

  *

  We returned to the camp after dusk and now as we start preparing the fire, we notice that the three sisters are back. I can’t believe my eyes when I spot five figures walking behind them. The figures soon become more visible and I observe that they are five men! We are all shocked, but they don't seem surprised at all. For what cunning reason has the three lunatics brought them here?! Aesa locks her eyes with mine and winks, which only proves my ghastly notion – their silly talk has become a reality. They have actually brought the men here for us. Perhaps Edana was right, they are far too reckless, they put us all in danger!

  Edana explodes as soon as she sees the five men and although they seem to have come with no bad intentions, and in fact seem friendly and cheery so far, her glaring face instantly makes them alert. Yrsa and Myrun calm the men down while Aoise takes Edana aside. She starts to explain something to her and although I stand fairly close to them, I overhear only bits of their secretive conversation:

  “Do you remember the prophecy? We only decided to speed things up. They are safe with us, don’t worry...”

  Then I stop paying attention to them, because I notice that one of the men has been watching me with vivid curiosity. He could be just a few years older than me, quite handsome, strong, his light hair falls down to his shoulders, and he has a captivating roguish smile and eyes that dazzle me. He is obviously used to attracting women, for he scrutinises me expertly. I turn away and the heat wave in my cheeks discloses my nervousness. I admit to myself that this is the second time in my life that I feel drawn to a man, but I discard the feeling before it consumes me. Edana’s mood surprisingly changes once she has talked to Aesa and she actually welcomes the men to the bonfire and provides them with water and food. The men have brought a generous amount of red wine, which she is pleased with and instantly pushes Rita to bring some ceramic cups for us. Meanwhile, she also whispers something to Otama, who just nods and distances herself to prepare some herbal tea. I wonder if she is actually going to serve them the herbs which are said to increase sensuality. God only knows what these women are after now.

  I chose to sit a bit further away from the group, lest I witness something shameful and decide to leave. Brigita and Libi appear to be affected by what Aesa has just whispered to them and they decide to leave. Before they set off into the dark bushes, I detect a disapproving frown on Libi’s face. I become even more baffled and start to sense that something malicious hovers over us. The amiable mood increases once the men and some of the women, excluding me, Otama, Edana and Halla, start sipping on the herbal potion. Aesa and Yrsa have been buzzing around the men like flies, whetting them in their unabashed alluring manner. They feed them with disturbing information and at one point even claim that when they can’t get a hold of a man, they simply satisfy each other. Luckily, Otama and Edana soon cease their prattling and introduce the rest of us. They make up a lie that we are refugees from a village that burned to the ground last summer. I'm surprised to see how cunning all these women are and am particularly taken by Edana, who is most convincing in her lies. Had I not known the truth, I would have believed every word she has said.

  The man that captured my attention before occasionally leers my way, but I pretend not to notice. Rita has struck up a conversation with the youngest man in the group, one that could in fact be even younger than she is, and they seem to be very taken by one another. I wonder whether it will be her chaste intention or curiosity that wins tonight.

  Eventually the company starts to break off into smaller groups as Edana retreats to the cave, where Geira has been resting. Otama and Halla soon join them and I become restless. I feel like I should leave as well, but am also tempted to stay, eager to find out more about the mysterious roguish man. I'm too shy to strike up a conversation though, and so I just hope that he will be the one to start. The three wild sisters soon begin to talk about their past love-making experiences and the atmosphere becomes more intimate. I wonder if they have already lain with the men before or if they have been simply, slowly, increasing their desire?

  At one point, Rita and the young boy disappear into the bushes. Shame spills over me when I think of what they are about to do. The situation worsens when the three women become loose, not afraid to express what they seek. I turn my attention to the roguish man, for he has been rather distant since the scent of lust filled the air. The three men and the three sisters start kissing and touching and I decide that it’s time to leave. And that’s when he lays his eyes on me again. I'm flattered that I have his attention, but also utterly humiliated, because Aesa has just finished undressing herself and the man she has been entertaining has as well.

  I set off, although I do turn and check on him, wondering if he is still watching me. His smile and the hidden intentions behind it make me nervous. I hope he did not mistake my curiosity for an open invitation. I can’t think straight at the moment and find myself confused about where to go. I make up my mind in haste and hurry toward the road that leads down to the river. Moonlight still shines on my path, but I'm aware that once I dive into the forest, I won’t be able to see very well. I could return and join the women who have decided to withdraw from the craziness, but I dread that dark cave and the thread that it keeps.

  I soon reach the forested road. Through the darkness I detect a comfortable space where I could rest - a bed of moss. As I descend into my well picked hideout, I notice that the man is after me! I change my path and start walking deeper into the woods to hint to him that I want to be alone. He does not seem to understand though, and so I cry out:

  “I hope you haven't misread me, mister. I’m just going to rest!”

  He doesn’t seem to care, as his pace actually becomes more vigorous. His eyes are hungry, focused entirely on me—the prey that won his lust and that he now wishes to ensnare. I start running away, he speeds after me. I remember the two times I tried to escape from Nathaniel. If he is as fast as him, I have no chance, particularly in the dark of night. I can hardly see where I'm going and so I decide to just stop, face him and ex
plain myself. He moves toward me rather slowly now and seizes me shamelessly. His irresistibly kind, yet provocative, expression makes me shiver with sudden excitement. I inhale, preparing to speak, but he places his palm over my mouth, gently pulls me closer and I freeze with a thrilling fright. My eyes focus entirely on his face, which is now moving closer to mine and I don’t resist, I actually welcome his lips with an unexpected enthusiasm. The yet unreleased energy that dwells in my lower belly runs through me like a thunderbolt as we kiss, shattering me from head to toe. I feel his desire in every part of my body. He wants me and I enjoy being wanted. He does not repulse me at all. It’s not like with Daniel, I actually liked this man from the start, I was simply too afraid to express it.

  The restless spontaneity that he has awakened in me scares me, but I don't push him away, I simply give in to the burning passion. I had never imagined before that a kiss could feel so nice. As soon as he stops, I lean in for more. He presses me against the nearest tree and starts to undress me. I let him do whatever he likes, captivated by the spark in his eyes and the alluring smile. This is all so new to me, I can’t even understand why, but I yearn for him just as much as he yearns for me, although just a while ago I wanted to escape him. A sensation of warmth increases and amazing waves of bliss spill over me. I embrace him and pull him closer, just to feel his body close to mine.

  He eventually lifts me up and carries me to the soft moss I have been planning to rest upon. As he lies on top of me, I suddenly feel that the warmth in my lower belly has gotten even stronger. I desperately yearn for something, but can’t tell what it is. I focus on his eyes, dark like the sky above. He holds my hands in his, but releases his grasp a little as his hand travels down to my belly. He lingers there, as if he can feel the warmth and wants to grasp it. His eyes lock with mine again, sensing the consuming nervousness. I'm surprised that it does not hurt when he enters me, it seems so natural. Our bodies were simply meant to intertwine, just like the trees that have grown into one. I feel no guilt, no shame, I simply give in to our sacred dance.

  *

  I wake up before the dawn, lying in a strange position. My legs have created a diamond-like shape and so do my hands that rest upon my lower abdomen. It reminds me of one of the sacred letters - the void. I yearn for my newly found lover. We made love three times before I fell asleep, but I keep craving more, whetted by the explosion of my previously suppressed desires. He is nowhere near me though, and I catch myself feeling jealous when I think of the possibility that I was not good enough for him, that he went to seek another woman’s body. I observe that he has left his cape here for me to use as a blanket. I inhale his smell and it makes me remember the moments of last night. I dress up, cover myself in the cape and set off to look for my man, but can’t find him anywhere. He must be back at the camp or on his way back home. That would break my heart, if he left me behind without even saying goodbye.

  I reach the cave and realise how dreadfully silent and dull the area is, compared to when I left. I think to myself that everyone must be still sleeping, resting after the exhausting night. But as soon as I have a better view of the camp, I notice that almost all the women stand over the four naked men, watching them sleep. An odd atmosphere fills the air and I don't comprehend why they are so concerned with them. I can’t see my man anywhere; he must have gone home after all. A sharp pain clasps my heart and cannot be suppressed. I walk closer to Halla and am about to ask her what is going on. When I catch the expression on her face, she looks completely aghast. I look back at the four men and realise that they are not asleep; their faces are rigid and pale. As soon as the shock eases, I look around for my man once more, sensing that this was not just an unfortunate mistake. Edana’s left brow furrows when she spots my frightened face.

  “Where is your man, Talitha?”

  I can’t bring myself to answer or react in any way, I'm completely numb.

  “You let him go?!”

  Rita stands up for me.

  “None of you told us what this was about! You have tricked us!”

  Aesa kneels before Edana, pleading for mercy.

  “I’m so sorry! It’s my fault! I should have checked on them, it’s just that... I thought he would come back for more himself, I assumed that Talitha would not handle more than one round...”

  Aesa is disturbed by Yrsa’s feverish behaviour.

  “This is not your fault, sister, so don't blame yourself! He simply didn’t drink enough of that potion!”

  Otama takes it as a personal attack.

  “Don’t try to put this on me. I told you to let them drink enough, you claim to be the experts on men!”

  And soon they all start quarrelling. I stand in the middle of the madness, completely stern. Edana’s rigid voice overpowers them all.

  “Stop it! All of you!”

  They calm down instantly and Edana continues in a lower tone.

  “Let us just hope that he did not witness anything and left simply because he wanted to.”

  She turns my way.

  “Did he say anything before he left?”

  I shake my head. I’ve become speechless, not fully comprehending the situation in which I have found myself. I stare at the dead naked bodies, which were so full of life before, and start to feel sick. I'm not able to digest the notion that hovers over me. They killed them. They actually brought them here to be killed! Their bodies are not hurt, so this could not have been just an ordinary murder. The potion they mentioned. Oh yes, I remember now. Otama precisely warned us that the herbs may easily provoke an extreme passion. She said that men in particular should be aware when they drink it. And now I can understand why. I noticed that my man was tired after the second time we made love and could hardly handle the third time. We both agreed that we hadn’t had a sip of the tea and were just taken with each other naturally. There was no need for a potion; we were each other’s potion. Is it awful of me to feel relieved in this horrid situation? Relieved that he is alive, although he is far away and his four friends became the innocent victims of… I look at the faces that surround me, the cruel selfish faces. I can tell that they are ashamed, because they avoid my gaze, only Edana does not seem to care. Her eyes flare up as she pronounces:

  “We have failed, dear sisters!”

  Chapter 10 – I, the Sorceress

  I've been dreading to even look towards the Cursed Mount since I returned to my cave. It only makes me remember the shock, the heartbreak, the anger. I have forsaken any minuscule connection I’d had to those women. I despise their ways, although they have tried to explain their intentions to me, blaming their behaviour on some prophecy which shall bring them salvation one day. I simply could not forgive and forget that they willingly killed four men and attempted to kill the one I had laid with. The disappointment in people that I have faced this year slowly spins me in its bitter web.

  I have withdrawn to the well-known solitude of my cave. I feel safer hidden between the walls, trying to make peace with all that happened. I'm trying to rid myself of anger at Edana and the man who seduced me and then abandoned me without even letting me explain myself. But mostly, I have been trying to make peace with myself. I need to forgive myself for ever accepting Edana’s invitations. I should have known she was the spider lurking in the dark.

  When I woke up this morning, I started to contemplate the token pendant that my grandmother used to wear. I wonder why each time I think of it, I receive the word “key” or “lock and unlock” in my inner mind. I’ve decided that I shall carve the symbol into the small piece of bone I have been wearing around my neck. Now, as I'm finishing the second triangle and thus make the two equal yet opposing shapes merge into one, I remember how my body became one with my lover’s. Could it perhaps mean that this star symbolises the unity of the two opposites?

  “That and much more, dear child.”

  I can hear my grandmother’s voice through the thin wall that separates us from the world beyond and I liste
n, fully aware.

  “Contemplate some more about this heavenly star,

  For it truly is the key to all the other sacred letters around.

  It may unlock your fears and unlock your heart

  But it may also lock up anything you do not wish to be found.

  Use it when the darkness descends upon your soul

  For it will defeat the menace of the woman with the mole.

  The triangles and their kin will unlock heaven’s door

  And as they coalesce, they finally free us once and for all.”

  *

  “Talitha!”

  I turn, still busy washing my clothes in the river.

  “Here! I’m here, Talitha!”

  I spot Rita waving at me from the opposite side of the river. She looks terrified.

  “I must talk to you!”

  I turn away from her and keep on washing my dress. There is nothing I have to talk about with her and so I pretend not to care about her pleas.