by Erin Osborne
Harley gives me my space and lets me have a few minutes of quiet before dropping me off. Once she’s parked in my driveway, I turn to thank her again only to be pulled in for a hug. It’s awkward with the console sitting between us, but I know that this is a rare show of affection from her. Finally, I pull back and thank her again before leaving the comfort of the SUV to walk inside for a much-needed talk with my sister.
Chapter One
Shadow
IN THE LAST YEAR, I’VE DONE EVERYTHING IN my power to get Renee out of my mind. No one would let me follow her the night she ran out because I had already been drinking. So, I called and called before I started sending her messages. She never responded to anything I sent her. The next day I showed up at her house and her sister told me that she wasn’t home. Renee’s car sat in the driveway so I know she was there, but she refused to see me. It continued on like that for a month. Finally, I stopped. If she didn’t want to see or talk to me I wasn’t going to force her to.
I started working for Rage in the construction company. He wanted to expand and I volunteered to work in Dander Falls. Every now and then he comes to check on the work that we’re doing. But, he’s taught me how to do bids and everything that I need to know so I can book projects without him having to come here constantly. I’m honored that he trusts me with his company here and I do my best to book as many projects as I can. When I’m not doing that, I train for underground fighting. This is something new that I started doing to fill the time that I would’ve been spending with Renee and Dylan. I’ve packed on muscle, but I’m still lean and fast as fuck. Plus, I fill in behind the bar when Mike and Wayne are busy with other club business. Anything I can do to stay busy and make me exhausted when I finally go to bed at night.
I’d like to say that I’ve stayed away from the club girls, but that would be a lie. I don’t turn to them on a constant basis, but when I need a release I find one to take the edge off. Nessa is on my ‘do not touch’ list and it pisses her off. Every other girl could be with one of my brothers and I walk away from the bitch. While I know that I played a part in what happened the night that Renee ran out of the clubhouse, I blame Nessa for running her mouth and trying to stake a claim on me. Renee is the only one that will ever be able to claim that she’s mine, and I don’t see that happening anytime soon. My mind is constantly on Renee and her son and nothing I do seems to take the memories and thoughts away. The nights are the worst when I’m alone with nothing to take my mind off of them. I’m fucked!
Another habit that I picked up is drinking a lot more than what I used to. It started that I would drink until I passed out so that I wouldn’t lay in bed and relive everything that has happened between Renee and me. I don’t let it affect my work and I would never do anything to harm anyone in this club. If I know the kids are going to be around, I hold off and put an extra workout in. I really need to stop drinking all together, but the nights are still too long and I don’t want the temptation to go to her house be there.
I still drive by her house on a regular basis. Part of me does this to keep an eye on her, and another part is that I’m hoping to catch a glimpse of her. The last time I saw Renee was when Cole was born. Harley demanded that she was in the room and Steel had her come to the waiting room to let us know when the baby was born and that they were all doing good. Since then, it’s like she goes out of her way to avoid me at all costs. She won’t even have anything to do with the girls. They blame me and Riley went off on Nessa. She’s got one more chance before she’s out for good. So, for now, Nessa is on her best behavior and has virtually stopped all of her shit.
“Come on Shadow, we’re goin’ out for dinner. Everyone is comin’,” Gage says, breaking me out of my thoughts while walking through the common room.
“Not goin’,” I say, spinning around on the bar stool and setting my beer down on the bar in front of me.
“Everyone’s goin’. We’re talkin’ about a new house for the domestic violence program,” he says, letting me know that this is not an option today. One of the girls must have something up their sleeves if we all have to go to the diner.
“I gotta train soon,” I respond, trying once again to get out of spending time with the girls when they hate my guts because Renee won’t respond to them.
“You got time. Shadow, I know you’re tryin’ to stay away from the girls right now and I know why. Renee runnin’ out was a situation that we all want rectified, but you have to give it time,” Gage says, sitting down next to me for a minute to talk before we’re bombarded with everyone.
“It’s been a year, Pres. How much more time can it take?” I ask, voicing the same question I’ve asked myself every single day.
“I don’t have an answer for that. I can bring Tank in if you want, but I don’t know how that will work. So, what are you gonna do to fix it?” he asks, standing up as the front door opens and Trojan and Steel walk in to get us.
“I don’t know what I’m gonna do. I’ve had a million thoughts go through my head and nothin’ seems good enough. I miss her like crazy and I want to get them back,” I answer, pulling my keys out of my pocket as we stand to leave.
“We’ll figure somethin’ out, Shadow. It’s been a year though. Are you sure you want her because you miss her? Or is it because you feel like she’s the one that got away because she wouldn’t let you explain shit to her?” Trojan asks, walking next to me as we leave the clubhouse.
“It’s not because she ‘got away’. It’s because I miss the fuck out of her. Dylan and Renee were truly comin’ to mean the world to me. I’ve called, sent her messages, gone to her fuckin’ house, and sent her flowers that were put out in the garbage. I drive by her house just to make sure the damn yard is mowed and that nothin’ needs to be done at the house. Hell, the last few weeks I’ve even been goin’ by the park to see if Dylan and she are there. Renee and Dylan are it for me,” I tell Trojan as we get to our bikes.
“Yep, that’s the answer I was lookin’ for brother. Now I know it’s not you fuckin’ around with this chick only to hurt her in the long run. You’re lookin’ to settle down with her then I’ll help you,” he says, straddling his bike before Darcy gets on behind him.
“Shadow, we’ll all help you. But she’s not making it easy,” Darcy says after hearing the last part of our conversation. “Renee has been through some shit, but we’ll figure out a game plan. Together.”
There’s about fifteen of us that head out to the Country Corner. My mind immediately goes to Renee as I know that she used to love going in there to get lunch while she was at work. We went there a few times for dinner and I loved that she didn’t order some stupid salad. She has an appetite and isn’t afraid to eat in front of people. I’ve asked the waitresses if she’s been in, and she hasn’t. So, maybe tonight will be the night that she shows up and I can finally see her after so long.
We’ve been inside for about fifteen minutes when this preppy looking guy walks in. He glances up from his phone long enough to find an empty table and then glances right back down. A few minutes later the door opens again, and I see Renee standing there, looking like a goddess in her summer dress with her long hair flowing down her back. After coming to a complete standstill while staring at me, she makes her way over to the douchebag and takes a seat. I can see the exasperation on her face and know that she’d rather be anywhere but here right now. This time, I don’t think it has anything to do with the fact that we’re all gathered in the diner and more to do with the asshole sitting across from her.
My thoughts immediately turn to the fact that she’s out on a date when I’ve been pining over her for the last year. Then I feel guilty because I’ve been getting mine when I need a release, but I know she’s not like that. Renee hates dating and everything that it entails. If I’m honest, I think that I’m the first guy that ever took her on a date in her life. Now, I see her sitting across from this guy and I want to pound the shit out of him. Steel prevents me from leaving by putting a hand on my
shoulder and whispering that I need to calm myself before I cause a scene that will push her even further away from me. From us.
I’m straining to hear any part of their conversation, but the noise of the diner prevents me from hearing anything. That is until they start to argue. I can’t believe the shit that he’s spewing at my girl right now. Telling her that she’s nothing more than a fucking biker whore. I go to stand up and it takes four guys to hold me back from beating the shit out of this asshole. He will pay for disrespecting Renee and apparently Dylan. That little boy is the sweetest child and I love spending time with him. Renee has the purest heart of anyone I know and would do anything for anyone in her small circle. Dylan is her entire world and I know what it takes for her to let someone into his world. For her, it’s one thing to bring a guy into her life. It’s an entirely different situation for that guy to make it past her front door and be introduced to her son. It took me months before I made it that far.
“Let me the fuck go!” I bellow out as the guys surround me and separate me from this guy. “He doesn’t get to talk to her like that.”
“Now is not the time. Harley is out there tryin’ to talk her into gettin’ a ride home. Let’s start with that and we’ll look into this asshole. You’ll have a chance at him if he does anythin’ else,” Steel says, pulling my attention to the fact that Harley is outside with her.
I look up just in time to see her getting into their SUV. She should be on the back of my bike, but she’s not ready to go there yet. It’s enough that she let Harley take her home when she’s avoided them. If they think I won’t be checking up on her though, my brothers have another thing coming. One way or another, I will make sure that this guy didn’t fuck with her mind in the slightest bit. So, I settle down and take my seat as I wait for Steel’s wife to get back.
It doesn’t take long for her to breeze back through the door and head directly to our tables. From the look on her face, I know that Renee barely talked to her and didn’t give her any information. Harley won’t pry though because of her past. There’s a sad smile on her face as she looks at me. If I want Renee back, I’m going to have a fight on my hands. That doesn’t bother me. I’ll do whatever it takes.
It’s been a few days since I saw Renee at the Country Corner. She’s been on my mind more than ever and I can’t wait to see her again. I have yet to come up with a game plan to get her back, nothing seems good enough. She deserves the best and I know I can give it to her, it’s just a matter of getting my foot back in the door with her. Once I’m in, I’ll never let a fuck-up like what happened with Nessa happen again.
Just as I go to head out to the gym for my training session, Steel comes running in the door. He starts looking around frantically until his gaze comes to rest on me. Whatever is going on isn’t going to be good. The hair on my arms and the back of my neck stands on end the closer he gets to me. I want to sit down as I wait to hear what he’s about to say, but I think I better stand up in case I need to leave in a hurry.
“Shadow, it’s Renee. She’s been in an accident. We’ve got to go. Now!” he says, turning right back around and heading for the door he just came in.
“What the fuck do you mean? How did it happen?” I ask, a million questions going through my mind as I race out the door after dropping my bag to the floor.
Steel doesn’t answer me as he climbs on his bike and revs the engine while waiting for me to straddle mine. As soon as I turn the key we’re taking off toward the hospital. We’re breaking traffic laws in our rush to get there. I’m trying to keep my mind on the road ahead of me instead of thinking about what’s wrong with her and what caused the accident. I don’t even know how the hell Steel found out that she was in one. I’ll be finding that out as soon as I know what’s going on with her. Right now, I’m thinking of a way to get information about her once we get to the hospital. I can’t play the husband or fiancé card because it’s the one she works at. They’ll know that she’s not engaged or married. One way or another I’ll get in to see her though.
I run through the parking lot once we park our bikes and don’t wait for Steel. As soon as I get inside, I see Harley, Darcy, Riley, and a few of the guys taking up space in the small waiting room. Making my way over to them, I see one of the nurses that Renee is friends with walking through. She sees me and motions for me to go to her. Changing the direction, I’m walking in, I stop once I’m right in front of her as I look down and see that her name is Liz.
“You know I’m not supposed to be doing this, but I know that you’re not leaving until you find out what’s going on with Renee,” she says, lowering her voice so that anyone walking by can’t hear what we’re talking about. “She was in a car accident shortly after leaving work this afternoon. No one knows what happened just yet, but the police have had her car towed to a local scrap yard. When she was brought in, Renee was unconscious. After several tests were done, there’s no real reason why she hasn’t woken up yet. Other than that, she’s got a busted ankle on her right side and the doctors don’t know how bad it is yet, her left leg is severely cut from the dash being pushed into her. Thankfully the main artery wasn’t cut. One wrist is sprained and there’s several cuts and bruises forming on her entire body. There may be other injuries, but those are what I know about right now. I overheard the cops talking and they’re saying that there were no skid marks in her attempt to stop the car. I don’t know what happened, but I know that she’s going to be out of work for a while and will need to undergo therapy for a while after surgery. They’ll know the extent of the damage to her ankle once they go in to repair it.”
My heart is pounding out of my chest and I want to sink to the floor and cry. Renee wouldn’t not try to stop if she was going to get in an accident. For there to be no skid marks at all means that someone tampered with her car. I’m going to have a look at it as soon as I know when I can see her. So, I gather myself and try to get my emotions under control long enough to find out where she is right now.
“Liz, I know this is askin’ a lot, but where is she? When can I see her?” I ask, letting the pleading tone takeover and not caring in the least that I sound desperate. I am desperate to see her.
“She’s getting prepped for surgery now. I’m not sure how long it’s going to take, but I will put your name down so that they let you know when she’s out and what room she’ll be in,” Liz says, putting her hand on my arm so I know that she means what she’s telling me.
“Thank you!” I say, turning to face everyone and let them know what’s going on.
After I explain what I know, I pull Gage aside to see if we can find out exactly where her car went. I want to go over it and find out what caused her to crash if there wasn’t another car involved. He pulls out his phone and calls his contact at the police department. As soon as he’s done he tells me where I’m heading and follows me out to the bikes.
“I’m going with you,” he says, straddling his bike and looking at me. “Two sets of eyes are better than one right now with the state your in.”
Nodding my head, we take off and head to the opposite end of town. Gage does all the talking once we get there because I’ll be more likely to take someone’s head off. One of the guys working here walks out with Gage and leads us to the demolished car. Stopping before we get to it, I let it sink in that I could’ve lost her today. Dylan could’ve lost his mom. Fuck! What if he had been in the car with her when this happened. With how smashed the car is, he never would have survived that accident. The front end of her car is smashed back almost to the front of the door where the hinges are. You can tell that they had to pry her out of the car. There’s dents all the way down the passenger side. I have to stop looking before worse images enter my head of the possibilities that could have happened to Renee today. She’s definitely lucky that nothing else is wrong with her.
“We haven’t touched the car since we loaded it on the flatbed. Take your time and look around,” the guy tells Gage before shaking his hand and leaving us
to the car sitting in front of us.
I walk up and begin to look as far under the car as I can. Gage is doing the same thing on the opposite side. I’m looking to see if her breaks were tampered with in any way. That’s the only thing I can think of knowing that nothing showed an indication of her trying to stop. Before too long, Gage calls me over to his side of the car and I see what he’s looking at. The break lines were cut. Whoever did this, knew what they were doing to ensure that Renee wouldn’t have any breaks at all.
“Fuck!” I yell out, knowing that something bigger is at play here. Big enough that someone wanted to take her out permanently. “What do we do now?”
“You’re goin’ back to the hospital so you can see your girl as soon as she’s out of surgery. I’m gonna call my contact in the police department and let him know what we found. We’re goin’ to do our own investigation, but I want them in on this too,” he answers, turning his flash light off before putting the phone to his ear as we make our way back to the bikes.
Heading back to the hospital, my thoughts are swirling around a million miles an hour as I try to figure out what’s going on. We’ll have to wait for Renee to wake up before we can get any more information.
Renee
My entire body hurts and I can’t seem to open my eyes. There’s a blackness that takes over and tries to continuously pull me back under. I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck as I hear a faint beeping noise that’s making my head pound. When I try to move different body parts, the pain gets so much worse. Panic begins to overtake me as I realize that I can’t move my legs. Even when I try to wiggle my toes, I can’t feel anything. What the fuck is going on?
The beeping noise gets louder as the blackness begins to take over and the pain radiates throughout my body even more intense than a few minutes ago. I feel a hand holding mine as I try to move my fingers. Again, nothing happens and I don’t know if the person with me can feel any of my movements. Before I can open my eyes, the blackness swallows me whole when the pain becomes too much for my body.