Tangled Love (Chaotic Rein Book 1)

by Haley Jenner

  Inhaling heavily through his nostrils, he clears his throat, his eyes fixated on mine, boring into me with an intensity that makes my cheeks burn.

  “I think you know how I feel about you, but you deserve to hear me say the words. Because fuck, Sugar, hearing you tell me you loved me is the greatest fuckin’ memory I have to hold onto. People talk about showin’ someone you love them, that love is in actions, not in words. Makes sense, but it doesn’t hurt hearing the person that makes your heart beat tell you that you’re that person for them too.”

  My face softens. I feel it. The gentleness in my eyes, the emotionally clogged happiness drifting along my face.

  “I love you, Codi,” he confesses quietly. “First moment you smiled at me, I knew I was fucked,” he barks out a soft laugh. “You kick-started something in here,” he beats a fist against his chest. “I tried so hard to hold onto my resentment, my hate, but it didn’t stand a chance, not against what I felt for you.”

  He steps closer, the swirling storm in his gray eyes gliding over my face. “You consume me. Body, mind, fuckin’ soul. You’re all that’s real in my life. You put me back together. Before I even knew I wanted to feel whole again.”

  The tears I thought had emptied from my body rush forth, out of my eyes and down my cheeks. I brush them away but they reappear just as fast and then he’s there standing in front of me, his large inked hand sliding across my face to wipe away my tears.

  “I love you,” he repeats. “No one in this world can love you as hard as I do. It’s everything that’s important in my life, my love for you. Maybe I don’t deserve you, but that don’t mean that I’m not gonna try my fuckin’ hardest to make you believe I do.”

  He tucks a lock of hair behind my ear, his fingers trailing down my jaw, his thumb pulling across my bottom lip. We stand there in silence, his declaration dancing in the breath of space between us, letting our hearts heal with the reality that we found our way back to one another. In this tangled, hopeless mess, we found something worth fighting for. Something worthy. Something unique.

  Each other.

  “Random fact,” I whisper and he smiles at my lips. “I’m ready for you to kiss me now.”

  The fire in his eyes spikes, skating over my face as his large hand holds my jaw, tilting it upward.

  I’ve missed this. His rough and needy touches. The dominant way his body directs mine.

  Leaning down, his bottom lip pulls against mine, a tease of a touch making my lips part on a shaky exhale.

  “Tell me you love me still, that I didn’t fuck everything by bein’ a fuckin’ coward,” he murmurs against my lips.

  “I love you,” I respond without hesitation, the declaration kissed across his lips, the way it should’ve been from the very beginning.

  He growls his approval, finally sinking his mouth against mine. His lips are soft, but his kiss is not. His lips feel like safety yet his kiss is anything but innocent. It feels almost sinful, immoral, in the best possible way. I guess in truth it is, we’ve been through hell and back, it’s not surprising our kiss feels like a wicked form of worship.

  Parker’s tongue strokes dominantly against mine and I moan into his mouth, finding my ability to breathe again after too long without his oxygen. My tongue meets his eagerly and I know he feels the same way, his rough growl sounding right from the back of his throat all the way down my spine.

  We lose ourselves in our kiss, or more, we find one another. All the hurt, all the pain we’ve endured, we let this single moment of intimacy swallow it whole. We want it gone from our life. Extinct, without an ability to find traction ever again. We let our love conquer everything we’ve lost; together, apart. Until it’s just Parker and I, lost in a kiss shared by two people who love one another. Nothing less, but a whole lot more.

  He pulls away first, his rough groan vibrating against my mouth as his teeth graze my bottom lip. He kisses the spot softly, hand still grasping my jaw tightly as he meets my eyes.

  “First time you smiled at me, I knew I was fucked, our first kiss sealed my fate. I never stood a fuckin’ chance against you, Sugar,” he leans down, his swollen lips finding the shell of my ear. “Really fuckin’ glad I didn’t,” he whispers and I pull him closer, relishing in the feeling of being wrapped around him the way I long to.

  “Random fact,” he pulls back, his dirty smirk playing along the bruised color of his lips. “Want you so fuckin’ bad it hurts. But I’m thinkin’ we should take this slow, want you to know I want more than a knee to the junk,” he winks and I laugh softly.

  “The headbutt could also be arranged.”

  His hand drops away from my chin, pulling me into his body and hugging me close.

  “More importantly,” I continue, tipping my head back to catch his eyes. “There will be no taking of anything slow, I waited twenty-five years to have sex, you are not holding back on me now I’ve had my taste.”

  “Thank fuck,” he groans, planting his lips against my forehead. “Come. Let’s go eat, sooner we’re finished, sooner we’re outta here.”

  We’re at the door when he stops, looking down at me. “I think my mom would’a fuckin’ loved that I found you, better, that I somehow convinced you to fall in love with me.”

  Dinner finished, Camryn stands moving to clear her plate. “You guys head off, think I might crash here tonight,” she announces unceremoniously.

  My cheeks shade involuntarily and I scowl over at here. “Subtle, Ryn.”

  She only shrugs, moving from the dining room. “Have fun,” she sings.

  Parker moves toward my dad, their hands connecting in a tight handshake, quiet words whispered between them.

  It’s nice to see, an acceptance from my father for the man I love. I don’t know what happened between them, likely never will and I’m actually okay with that. All I know is that twenty-four hours ago, Parker had shunned me, turned me away without hope of reconciliation. Next thing I knew, he was sitting at my dinner table with my father’s blessing. I’m just happy it worked out.

  ***

  Walking through my front door, I feel a buzz of nervous excitement vibrating through my veins. He’s fast on my heels, barely a step between us as he trails me into my bedroom. We’re alone, but he still closes the door, shutting us away in our own private space.

  “I need to shower. My wallowing may or may not have interfered with my want to bathe over the last twenty-four hours.”

  He stalks towards me, starvation in his eyes. Yanking his shirt over his head, he throws it to the floor, his abs contracting with every step closer to me he takes.

  “Oh,” I stutter, feeling hunted in the same way I feel desired as he reaches me.

  Yanking me toward his body, I hit his solid frame and he lifts me effortlessly, slamming my back against the closest wall.

  “Parker, I—”

  He cuts off my words with his mouth, his tongue slicing between my lips, massaging my own. His kiss swallows my surprised gasp the same time his hands move into my panties, grabbing hold of my ass.

  His hands knead, his tongue massages and I whimper, I claw to get closer.

  Pinning me against the wall with his frame, he uses one hand to rip at the small scrap of material covering me. Breaking our kiss, my head slams against the wall, eyes drunk with want, chest heaving with unrivaled need. His eyes meet mine, the gray storm drunk in the same way mine are, his dark lips swollen from our harsh kiss.

  Undoing his pants, he keeps my eyes, his face dipping forward, to kiss my lips, before pulling back a breath.

  My body feels like it’s on fire. Burning. Hot. Flames scorching over my skin with my unforgiving need of his touch.

  His chest meets mine, his lips falling to my neck as the thick head of his cock teases my entrance.

  I cry out.

  I beg.

  I moan.

  I plead.

  And finally, when I think I’ll die without feeling him inside my body, he surges forward, burying himself completely on
one swift thrust.

  Neck tipped back, I scream out.

  In pleasure.

  In pain.

  In relief.

  “Oh. Parker.”

  “Feels so fuckin’ good,” he mumbles into my neck, pausing, his chest pushing against mine with every labored breath.

  This is what my body craved. Don’t get me wrong, reaching your peak, your body exploding in a powerful, mind-blowing orgasm is like nothing else. The way you feel almost disconnected from your body from the unrivaled pleasure coursing through you. The way you lose control, your body convulsing, shaking, arching, moving as it needs to, to ride you through your pleasure. It’s like nothing else. Nothing. But this, right here, the single moment of penetration is a close, close second for me. My God. The way Parker stretches me, forcing me to feel every strong, powerful inch of him. Every nerve in my body pulsates in an almost unsatisfied need. So good, but I need more. So much more. The anticipation is at its highest, because I know what’s coming. I know how incredible he can make me feel. Where he can take my body. To that peak I’m chasing. That moment of pleasure that possesses my body until I’m no longer me. Codi doesn’t exist. In her place is a just a combustible ball of energy, readying itself to explode into an abyss. A soul-shattering, mind-blowing, body-quaking abyss.

  That single moment, that over-whelming, unparalleled moment, is when I feel most alive.

  Parker’s teeth bite into my neck, and I groan, undulating my hips to find relief.

  He growls, licking up the column of my neck. Ever so slowly he pulls from my body and I shiver.

  “Fuck, I love you,” he meets my eyes, leaning forward to touch his lips against mine.

  “Codi. Baby. The shit you do to my heart, to my body. I can’t explain it, I… I just, I love you,” he breathes out desperately. “I love you.”

  Cupping his jaw with both my hands, I scan my eyes over his. “Parker. You own me. Mind. Body. Soul. Everything in here.” I drop a hand to my heart, palm open wide over the spot. “It’s yours. Only yours. Forever. I love you, too.”

  His lips smash down on mine and we lose ourselves in the manic way in which our bodies need to touch. Parker thrusts heavily in and out of my body, his kiss never ceasing, wanting, needing me to feel him love me.

  I feel it.

  I live it.

  I reciprocate.

  It’s crazy to think how far we’ve come from that single moment he walked into my shop, till now. What we’ve each endured. It’s amazing to realize that in such a twisted mess of hate, revenge, deceit, and sorrow that such a fierce love could grow.

  But it did.

  It fucking flourished.

  I have to believe that we would’ve always found one another. Or maybe we were always supposed to meet the way we did. Maybe it was our test. And we more than passed, we aced it, because people search their lives for what Parker and I share, and we found it. In hopeless circumstances, we held on, whether we knew we were or not. We held on as tight as we possibly could, and our tangled love prevailed.

  Epilogue

  Parker

  “Sugar, fuck, if you could see my view,” I groan, skating my hand down the back of her naked thigh. It’s fucking pathetic how desperate the words sound, but Jesus, nothing, and I mean fucking nothing has ever looked this good.

  Codi looks over the naked shoulder at me, sweet lips lightly parted, purple eyes drunk with need.

  She’s naked. On all fours. Knees parted as far apart as possibly comfortable.

  “Fuck, baby, I need a picture,” I stand, eyes scanning her room for my phone.

  “WHAT?” she gasps, her knees drawing together before I scowl down at her moving. She stops but stares at me with beautifully wide eyes.

  “Trust me, I’ll show you, you hate it, I’ll delete it.”

  She swallows deeply. “Promise?”

  “Sugar, there ain’t need to promise that, you see what I’m seeing, you’ll be turned on knowing I got that on my phone, knowin’ I can stroke my cock while staring at my favorite fuckin’ place on Earth.”

  That gets her, her hips pushing backward ever so slightly, searching for relief. She cries out softly when she hears the telltale click of the camera on my phone and I smile to myself.

  Codi Rein. My sweet fuckin’ dirty, Sugar.

  Sliding up beside her, I put the image in front of her eyes, watching them dilate with wild lust.

  “See,” I whisper. “This is heaven on fuckin’ earth, Sugar. Look at your creamy thighs, spread wide for me.” I trail a finger along the image like I would her skin, and she bites her bottom lip.

  “Look at your perfect fuckin’ ass cheeks, round and ready for my mouth, for my hands.”

  Her breathing stutters and I know if I reach my hand back to find her sweet spot, she’d be drenched, clenching and greedy for my fingers.

  But I refrain. For now. Enjoying my form of torture.

  “Your arched back,” I continue, touching the photo. “All the way down to your tight little asshole, begging for attention. Almost ready for my cock, don’t you think, Baby? So greedy whenever I touch you there, clenching down on my fingers as I let them fuck your ass.”

  Her neck tips back, an audible whimper escaping her throat.

  “Then there’s your pretty pink pussy. Look at her. Glistening. Wet. For me,” I whisper against her ear. “All. Fucking. Mine.”

  Biting her earlobe, I pull back. Arranging my phone against her pillows so she can see. “I’m gonna leave this here, let you see what I see while my tongue’s teasin’ that sweet little cunt of yours.”

  Moving back to my position at the back of her head, I groan. Fuck. I’ll never tire of this. Of her. She’s perfection. In every possible way.

  I waste no time feasting on her pussy. Gliding my tongue back and forth over her slit in thick, wide strokes. She pushes back eagerly, trying to fuck my face.

  Palms on her ass cheeks, I grab hold, pulling her back and giving her what she wants.

  I eat her. Messy. Greedy. Feral.

  She’s so close. I can feel her throbbing against my tongue.

  I stop and she cries out.

  “No. No, don’t stop. Baby, please,” her forehead hits the mattress and she groans in frustration. “I was right there.”

  “Mmm…” I agree, standing to full height behind her and yanking her hips backward. “Wanted to feel you come on my dick though.”

  Looking over her shoulder, her cheeks flushed, eyes wild with her impending orgasm, she runs her tongue along her teeth. “Hard.”

  Gliding my head along her clit over and over again, I frown. “Huh? Sorry, couldn’t quite hear that.”

  “Hard,” she grits out, her body shaking every time the head of my cock hits where she needs it.

  “Sugar,” I tsk. “Give it to me how I want it, then you’ll get what you need.”

  She exhales heavily, pushing her tits down into the mattress to arch her back more. “Fuck me hard, Parker.”

  Lining up at the heat engulfing the head of my dick, I push forward, only slightly. “You didn’t say please.”

  She glares at me over her shoulder, purple eyes shooting sparks in my direction and I laugh, loudly, but give her what she wants.

  I slam forward and pull out fast, just to do it again.

  She comes. Like I knew she would. Her body already there, just needing that last push over the cliff to fall into the sweet, pleasure of nothing.

  The slap of skin echoes with her loud and incoherent cries of her orgasm as I fuck her. Hard. Like she wanted.

  It still blows my mind that we made it here. Together. That her love for me was strong enough for her to forgive all the shitty things I’ve done. I don’t deserve her. I know that. Doesn’t mean I’m ever giving her up. Not a fuckin’ chance. She’s mine. And for some warped reason, she thinks I’m worthy of her. I’m not idiot enough to convince her otherwise.

  She pushes up from the bed, her back hitting my chest, and I hold her there, large palm
squeezing her tit as I move in and out of her body.

  The back of her head rests on my shoulder, her matted hair slick against her forehead. I kiss her.

  “I need you to be my wife,” I pull back, my words humming softly against the stuttered sounds of her breathing.

  “Wha—”

  I kiss her again, cutting off her question and letting my tongue dance in her mouth, cutting off her ability for coherent thought.

  Fuck she feels good. My neck tips back, leg muscles straining as I bury myself deep inside one last time as I come on a long, satisfied groan.

  “Fuck, Codi.”

  Her arm twists upward, cupping my head and bringing my mouth down to hers. Our kiss is slow, unhurried and we spend minutes lost in the intimacy of the moment.

  “People think a proposal should be a huge fuckin’ deal; flowers and champagne, me on one knee. I disagree, what we just shared, that’s as intimate and as emotional as anyone can get. Lost in one another the way I’m lost in you.”

  Her purple eyes blink softly and I exhale softly.

  “I don’t wanna ask you to marry me because it doesn’t feel like that measly question is enough to show you how much I want this. I need you to be my wife, Codi. Like I need my next fuckin’ breath.”

  I swallow down my nerves, not wanting her to see how fuckin’ anxious I am that she’ll say no. “You put me back together and showed me life was worth living. I don’t wanna waste another second of this life without you. I need you to be my wife so every day I get to see your purple eyes and the realness in your smile; knowin’ I make you happy. I need you to be my wife so we can start planning our life together; travel, kids, whatever the fuck you want, Codi. I need you to be my wife so I can call myself your husband. I fucking need you to be my wife so I know I can love you forever. And that you’ll love me back for just as long.”