Caught in the Devil's Snare

by Dani Matthews

  I look at myself critically in the mirror. The white blouse is form-fitting and tucked into high-waisted black pants that show off my slim figure. The high waist also accentuates my small waist. I tilt my head, looking myself over from head to toe. If I pull my hair back, I’ll look like your average NYC woman headed to a business function of some sort. No one would ever know that I’d been living on the streets mere days ago.

  Keagan had suggested that I buy a new outfit first before applying at area businesses. When we’re finished job hunting, we’ll buy his bed, and then grab my necessities last. That way, we’re not carrying bags all over the city.

  We’re just beginning our day together, but so far, we seem to be getting along well. I have plenty of questions I’d like to ask him, but those can wait until we get back to the apartment.

  Knowing the saleswoman, the one that flusters easily since I’m deaf, will be back soon, I decide to keep the outfit. I begin pulling the tags off to give her so that I can wear the outfit out of the store.

  Ten minutes later, Keagan and I walk out of the department store, and I’m feeling self-conscious in my new clothes. He insists I look great, but I feel strange. I’m a jeans and sneakers type of girl.

  Keagan hands me the iPad so I can look over the job listings. I point to the ones that I think look promising, and then we begin walking once more. The sidewalks are busy, and for the first time in a long time, I don’t feel the need to keep my head down to avoid drawing attention. Not that I want to draw attention or anything, but it is nice to focus on where I’m going instead of trying to go unnoticed.

  As we walk, my mind wanders. I’m not going to be able to do anything too social, but I can do other things that don’t rely on the ability to hear and speak. The library position looks the best, and it’s the one job I want the most. They’re hiring two full-time shelvers, and since I enjoy reading, I think it’d be the perfect job. Spending my day in a library while getting paid to be there sounds like a dream come true. When Keagan takes notice how badly I want the shelving position, he insists we go there first.

  We take the subway which isn’t anything new to me. Back in Philly, I’d taken the subway plenty of times. Keagan is completely relaxed as he sits beside me during the short ride, and I use his tablet to scan the job ads one more time. He’d warned me that most places prefer online applications, but we still plan to look at the businesses in person before applying.

  It’s not until we arrive at the library that I begin to have doubts. I didn’t expect it to be so huge, and the building is very formidable. There’s no way they’re going to hire me. I typically apply for simple stuff, like dishwashing or housekeeping.

  Keagan plucks the iPad out of my hands and slips it in the bag over his shoulder, his blue eyes firm on mine. Just be yourself, you’ve got this.

  I quickly sign, What if no one there knows ASL? Do you know how many times people send me on my way because they’re uncomfortable around me?

  Let me help be your voice today. You’ll make a great impression, and you can make a notation in the application that you’re a hard worker and your schedule is wide open. Take the initiative, they’ll like that, he signs.

  I look at him doubtfully.

  Trust me, he signs, his eyes urging me to take the chance and see what happens.

  I have no references, I sign back.

  Which means you don’t have bad work habits. You can add that in your note as well.

  I roll my eyes and begin making my way up the steps. Keagan quickly falls into step beside me.

  I don’t know why I’m suddenly having doubts. I’m usually confident in my abilities, but I want this job badly, and I know that if I’m turned away, it’ll crush a little part of me. Getting my hopes up means being disappointed when I’m rejected. And I’m always rejected.

  When we step inside the building, I’m a bit awestruck. It’s so grand, and I look around with admiration. I could easily spend my days in this building and never want to leave.

  Keagan leads me into a large, cavernous room that has arching windows, and numerous tables are filled with people studying or working on laptops. I look around with wide eyes until I’m tugged towards a long, mahogany desk that has multiple checkout stations. A woman in her mid-twenties is at the nearest station, and Keagan confidently walks over and begins chatting. I linger beside him, trying not to follow her lips too closely so that she’s not put off by my scrutiny.

  They seem to be flirting.

  Evidently, Keagan’s a natural born flirt, and the pretty brunette looks enamored by him. He then introduces me to her, and I smile and politely shake her hand. While Keagan explains that I’m deaf and the reason we’re there, she nods and listens intently with what looks like an open mind. When she turns to me, her eyes are kind as she explains the application process. I’ll first need to set up an account on their website and fill out an application online. She offers to help, and Keagan hands over his iPad so that she can bring up the library’s website. She even wishes me good luck before we move away from the desk.

  We find a table about thirty feet away, and I sink down onto the chair Keagan’s politely pulled out for me. I begin to fill in the blanks, keeping in mind that my ID now identifies me as Charlotte Andrews. Keagan insists that in the cover letter I include my strengths and indicate that I have an open schedule without other priorities. I glance at him every so often while I answer all the necessary questions, and each time, I find him patiently looking around the library as he waits.

  When I’m finished, we exit the building and find our way back to the busy sidewalk. My mood has brightened immensely. Yes, Keagan had used his charm on the young librarian, but I can’t be upset about it—not when it might have helped me secure an actual job.

  So where to next? Keagan signs to me.

  I motion for the iPad, and he pulls it out of his bag and hands it over. The other ads are no longer appealing, but I can’t assume I’ll secure one of the two shelver positions at the library.

  I indicate two of the ads before handing back the iPad. Then I sign, I want to find a thrift store later. Thrift stores will be more cost-effective than buying new items. I’ve never minded used clothing, and I refuse to purchase things that I wouldn’t usually buy for myself just because Devlin Kade wants me to. I have every intention of remaining frugal and buying only what I need.

  The rest of the day passes faster than expected. When my applications have been sent off via email, we drop by a convenience store so I can buy the personal hygiene products that I need.

  Once that’s been taken care of, Keagan tracks down a large thrift store. An hour later, I walk out with three pairs of jeans, five vintage tees, four blouses, and an extra pair of black pants. To complete the outfits, I’d bought a pair of converse sneakers that look gently used, and a pair of black dress shoes with a low heel. Keagan had talked me into buying a purse as well. I still need panties and a few bras, so he waits outside a store that looks promising as I go in and purchase the items that I need.

  Lastly, we drop by a furniture store so Keagan can buy a bed. He tries to persuade me into buying a sofa, but I decline. He doesn’t try to push his suggestion on me further, and I appreciate that. Outside, we hail a taxi and just barely manage to fit the large box in the taxi’s trunk. Keagan will have to assemble the bed himself when we get back.

  When we arrive at the apartment building, I help him carry the box to the elevator, and then we maneuver it into the apartment. He turns to me and signs, I’m going to see if I can borrow some tools from maintenance. I’ll be right back.

  I nod and carry my bags to my room, setting them on the bed. I’d bought a small notebook today, and I pull it out of a bag. It’s important that I make note of how much cash I’d spent so that I can replace it. When I’m finished, I close the notebook, and that’s when I realize that I don’t have anywhere to put my clothing or the notebook. In the end, I tuck the notebook beneath the mattress and fold my new clothing in a neat pile
in the corner of the room.

  Not wanting to ruin the nice outfit I’d bought this morning, I carefully slip it off and pull on a pair of jeans and a casual tee. The phone goes with me wherever I go, so I tuck it in my back pocket before leaving the room. Next on my agenda is food. If I’m hungry, Keagan is probably starving.

  In the kitchen, I look through the food items. I don’t really know how to cook. As I stand in the refrigerator’s open doorway, I chew my bottom lip and debate what to do.

  Keagan’s arm reaches over my shoulder, startling me as he pulls out a package of chicken breasts. He sets it on the nearby counter and signs, I’ll make us dinner.

  I need to learn how to cook, I reply.

  I’ll teach you.

  Once the chicken is in the oven, I follow Keagan to his room and watch as he begins to assemble the bed. He’s my entertainment this evening since there isn’t much else to do. As I gaze at him, I think upon the easy camaraderie that had naturally developed between us as the day had worn on. He’s very easy to be around, an unlike people from my past, he doesn’t make decision for me. He’s patient, and he never forgets that I’m deaf. Nor does he take the effortless way and speak instead of using ASL when communicating with me. Most people assume that lip reading is easy for the deaf, but it’s not. It’s impossible to read every single word that’s formed from the lips, because there are so many similar words in the English language. However, I’ve become adept at filling in the blanks, and most of the time, I can understand what someone is saying. But there are times I get it wrong, too.

  This is our first day together, and honestly, he’s treated me far better than anyone else ever has. If this is what it feels like to have a friend, I am incredibly envious. I’m also very much aware that Keagan’s being paid to spend time with me, so I warn myself not to allow the lines to blur. I’m his job, not his friend. Still, it’s nice to have someone around that understands my deafness and doesn’t demean me for it.

  Keagan glances at me, and I quickly take advantage of his attention and sign, How long have you been with your boyfriend?

  He sets down the screwdriver so he can respond. Three years.

  My eyebrows lift. For the first time, I wonder what kind of life he’s leaving behind to help me live mine. Were you two living together before you accepted this job?

  He shifts so that his back is to the wall as he leans against it, completely focused on our conversation. Yes, but Lance is rarely home these days, so it’s nice to have something to focus on now that I’m done with my schooling.

  I cock my head questioningly. He doesn’t seem upset over the situation.

  He continues signing, He’s a resident at Mount Sinai, so he’s very busy. We still make time for each and are committed to the relationship.

  My butt vibrates, startling me slightly. I ignore it, knowing that it’s likely Devlin or Carter.

  Keagan looks amused and signs, I heard your phone vibrate.

  I know.

  He looks at me ruefully. You’re not even going to look?

  No point. I know who it is.

  He studies me for a minute and then shakes his head. He picks up the screwdriver before turning back to the bed.

  I watch him for a few minutes until my butt vibrates again. This time, it doesn’t surprise me, but I still make no move to pull it from my pocket.

  Keagan straightens from where he was leaning over the bedframe. He signs, You’d better answer that.

  I look at him steadily and sign, Devlin Kade can kiss my ass.

  Keagan’s hands lift to reply, but then he frowns and pulls out his own phone, studying the screen. His eyes lift back to mine, and they’ve turned serious as he sets it down to sign, Look at your phone. Please, he adds.

  With an inward sigh, I shift and tug the phone from my pocket. I have two texts from Devlin. What did you do today? I scowl. What does he care? His second text reads, Don’t make me come over there.

  His threat has me quickly responding, because I could do without another visit from him. I went to the spa and got a seaweed wrap that cost a fortune, a manicure and pedicure, and an hour-long massage. Oh, and I spent all the cash and charged three grand worth of clothing on the credit card. Everything looked so pretty!! I add the middle finger emoji to the end and press ‘send.’ I wait patiently, knowing he won’t ignore my sarcasm.

  Smartass, pops up on the screen.

  I smirk, and when he doesn’t reply further, I tuck the phone back in my pocket. Mission accomplished.

  * * *

  I have a job.

  The day after I’d applied at the library, I’d received a notification that my application had been accepted and they wanted me to stop by for an interview. Keagan had helped me pick a blouse to match the black pants I’d bought, and then we’d taken the subway to the library at the designated interview time. While I’d been taken to a private room for the interview, Keagan had roamed the library.

  The interviewer, Mrs. Clark, an older woman with gray hair pulled up into a bun and glasses perched on her nose, had been incredibly kind and understanding. Thankfully, I’d had my phone and had been able to text my responses to her questions. I tried to express confidence that I could handle the position and was willing to work whatever hours they scheduled me. My deafness didn’t seem to be an issue, and that was evident when I was notified the following evening that the job was mine.

  Today is my first day as an employee, and Mrs. Clark is having me shadow Anna, a part-time shelver. Then later, when Anna leaves at one for her college courses, I’ll be on my own. She’s nice, and my deafness doesn’t seem to faze her. She’s also patient as she gives me a tour of the library, which is large with separate rooms all over the building.

  After the tour, we clear out the book drop and bring the books to check-in. We then spend a while scanning books, and once they’re sorted, we make our way through the library with a cart full of returns. She assures me that I’ll learn my way around in no time, but until then, she suggests I keep the manual on hand. The manual has a map of the library and where everything is located.

  When I share with her that I’m worried patrons might ask me questions, she tells me that’s likely to happen but just to reply with a text message. It’s a library, most people aren’t in a hurry to get from point A to point B.

  We take our lunch break together, and during that time, Anna chatters away about her classes and boyfriend. I smile and read her lips, content that she’s comfortable doing all the conversing.

  After she leaves for the day, I find myself on my own, and I focus on returning books to their designated slots and smiling politely when I pass by someone. When I’m not shelving books, I’m dusting and trying to keep each room organized. Books are misplaced on tables hourly, or chairs are left out where people can trip over them. It’s a time-consuming job since the building is enormous and busy, but I find it satisfying.

  It’s early evening when my shift ends. The sun is still in the sky, though darkness will be chasing it away in a few hours. It’s not as humid as it had been earlier, so the walk to the subway station should be more comfortable than it had been this morning.

  As I make my way down the steps leading to the sidewalk, a smile stretches across my features even as my feet ache. If this is to become my daily routine, I’m thrilled.

  My smile quickly fades when I find Devlin waiting for me at the bottom of the steps. He’s wearing an immaculate, charcoal gray business suit, his hands casually slipped into his pants pockets. As I approach, I find myself once again admiring the contours of his handsome face. He’s allowed a day or two’s growth to darken his jaw, and somehow, it makes him look sexier.

  I look around with confusion. Where’s Keagan? He was the one who was supposed to meet me. I have yet to win the subway argument. It’s the one thing he’s standing firm on since he doesn’t think it’s safe for me to ride it alone.

  “Evening, Charli,” Devlin says as his steel gray eyes roam over my black pants and mauv
e blouse before his gaze locks on mine.

  I bring my hands up to ask why he’s here, but then I remind myself that he doesn’t understand ASL. I dig out my phone from the purse I’d brought and quickly text, Why are you here??

  Devlin pulls his phone from his suit jacket and scans my text. His eyes lift to mine. “The limo is waiting. I’ll take you home and we can talk on the way.”

  I peer over his broad shoulder, and sure enough, a gleaming black limo is waiting at the curb. I send, No thank you, and begin walking away. He can’t just show up and whisk me away as if he has a right to make that decision.

  From the corner of my eye, I see him quickly fall into step beside me as we merge with the passersby. It’s evening, and the sidewalks are busy. My phone vibrates in my hand, and I reluctantly look at the newest text. Stop walking for Christ’s sake.

  Wait a minute. For once, I have the advantage. We’re in public, so he can’t control me or physically force me to do his bidding. I stop in the middle of the sidewalk, and a woman glares when she nearly runs me over. I turn to face Devlin, looking at him expectantly.

  His eyes narrow on me suspiciously, no doubt trying to figure out why I’ve decided to let him have his say. I could have kept walking for several blocks and he wouldn’t have been able to do much about it.

  I arch an eyebrow, waiting.

  His brow furrows. “I’m not kidnapping you. I’m kindly offering to take you home.”

  My eyes drop to my phone, and I text, Okay. I am politely declining.

  As he drops his eyes to look at the new text message, a look of frustration flits across his features. Apparently, he doesn’t have the patience to converse through text messaging when I’m standing directly in front of him. Welcome to my world, I can’t help but think without remorse. If this is frustrating for him, he can’t possibly imagine how much it is for me.

  His lips tighten when he reads my text, and his eyes lift back to mine. “I don’t want to carry on a conversation in the middle of the sidewalk, Charli.”