I nod in agreement. If I stay, I risk my life, I sign.
Keagan slowly nods, his eyes quite serious. You do. But he has the power to protect you, and I think he’d make that his top priority.
My eyebrows pucker. But if I stay, I give up the kind of life I’ve always wanted. Not to mention the kind of independence I crave.
You need to decide what’s more important. Or, you could leave and try to build that life you want. If it doesn’t work out, come back.
I frown and shake my head. I could never do that to Devlin. Not after how he’d grown up. There’s no way I could leave and allow him to think I might someday come back. Nor would it be fair to leave and then walk back into his life if things don’t work out. I can’t do that. It wouldn’t be fair to him, I sign.
Then you have a lot to think about.
I look at him miserably.
He opens his arms, and I shift on the sofa and settle against his chest.
* * *
I can’t sleep.
It’s three in the morning, and I find myself alone in the dark, staring out the large windows of the main room as I gaze upon the sleeping city below. I hadn’t seen much of Devlin upon returning from Keagan’s earlier. He’s giving me space, and as much as I appreciate it, I also resent it. I just want to be in his arms, to enjoy a moment with him without having this decision hanging over my head. But that’s the problem, and I can understand why he’d suggested the guest room. If we’re together, I’m concentrating on him and avoiding the issue.
So here I am, trying to figure out what I want most. Can I live without the independence I want? Can I give it up and allow Devlin to protect me? If I stay, would I resent him for it?
Or do I make a fresh start somewhere else and live without Devlin? Just the thought causes my heart to constrict. No matter how hard I try, I can’t envision a life without him. I know that if I start over somewhere, I’ll ache for him. I’ll be lonely, and I don’t think there’s a single person on this earth that could ever compare to Devlin. No one would ever be able to take his place. So where would that leave me?
I’d have my independence, my ability to leave and go when I please, and to travel by subway or car on my own. I wouldn’t have a single person to answer to. But I would forever be lonely, yearning for the one man I’d had but had given up.
If I can’t walk away from Devlin, how do I leave behind my need to navigate the world independently? I want to be self-sufficient instead of relying on Devlin. I don’t want to lose the part of myself that is determined to navigate life on her own terms.
I blink, and then a frown begins to form.
I’ve never thought much about it, but now I’m suddenly finding myself wondering why I feel so strongly about being independent. A lot of women enjoy their independence, but it wouldn’t stop them from dating or getting married.
So why am I struggling with it?
It’s going to be a long night.
Twenty-nine
Devlin
This is the very last place I want to be right now, but I can’t handle being in the penthouse or anywhere near the hotel. It’s hard to be there when I know that Charli might walk away from me—permanently. I’d grown accustomed to her the past few days, and now it’s difficult to walk into the penthouse and not expect her to be there. Granted, she’s at the library working her shift, but still.
So here I am, holed up in my office at the security firm. I have plenty of people to run the place, and my vice president has been handling the bulk of the company for the past few years. I have plenty of privacy to focus on the biggest problem wreaking havoc with my life—the person who’d planted that bomb.
I lean back in my chair, sipping the scotch I’d poured myself as I gaze out the window. The city is bustling thirty stories below, and I watch as people hustle along the sidewalks as I try to sort out who could be after Charli.
At first, I was leaning towards the Serrato’s, but why go after an innocent woman instead of just coming right at me? This is a cutthroat business, and Charli is just a minor player in the grand scheme of things. Getting rid of her would do nothing more than incite my temper, and that would make it even more challenging for them to get their hands on my territory. Instead, the Serrato organization has been careful to try to organize meetings. If they’d felt they could simply take the territory from me, they would have already. They don’t have the manpower to take out my organization, hence the meetings and partnership they’re trying to maneuver me into. Going after Charli would ruin everything they’re trying to accomplish, and it would cause a war that they clearly can’t win.
So, if it’s not Serrato and his organization, that leaves someone on my end—and that pisses me off. My hand tightens on the glass as I stare grimly out the window, my eyes unfocused as I’m lost in my thoughts.
No one knew about Charli but those closest to me. I was certain to make sure her account couldn’t be tracked back to me, same with the apartment lease. If anyone outside my inner circle were to find out about her, it’d be because they were surveilling me twenty-four/seven. My men are well-equipped to pick up on any kind of surveillance, so I am crossing that off my mental list.
That leaves Carter, Tobias, Aiden, Jonah, and Elias. Jonah, one of my bodyguards, I don’t think is even aware of Charli. Tobias is a cold fucker, but he would have no reason to want Charli out of the way. It wouldn’t benefit him in the end, and I know he’s content with where he’s positioned on the totem pole within the organization. The messy jobs are his, something he enjoys. The man’s a cold-blooded killer, and with me as his employer, he gets to have his fun without consequence.
Aiden only kills when he has to, and he was brought into the organization when I saved his ass years ago before my father died. He would never betray me.
Carter’s loyal to a fault, and I know he wouldn’t touch Charli.
That leaves Elias.
I rub my chin thoughtfully, eyes going cold. In a way, it makes sense. The bomb was planted in the apartment above so that it would look like Charli was just a casualty. Nobody was ever to catch on who the real target was. If there hadn’t been any fragments found of the bomb, I would have never known for certain that Charli had become a target—not yet at least.
My lip curls into a grim smile. Elias wouldn’t be able to hire the kind of professional that guarantees no trace of evidence left behind, because word would get back to me since I’m well-known in those circles. He’d had no choice but to hire someone who claimed they could do the job correctly.
He must have personal ties to Serrato’s organization. I can’t think of any other reason for him to go after Charli. I speculate he has a personal stake in the partnership and is working under the table with Serrato himself, or someone under him. A lot must be riding on this merger, and he was frustrated that I was distracted with Charli. I think back to all the times I brushed off his phone calls because I was busy with her.
Bingo.
Elias probably thought with Charli out of the picture, I’d be more focused on the merger and maybe cave to his pressure—or outside pressure from other forces.
I turn in my chair and face my desk, setting the glass down. Elias is old as dirt with the ‘old ways’ in mind when it comes to eliminating the problem. He’s a fool, because these days, it’s more difficult to get away with shit. Too much surveillance and whatnot. And a lot more technology for solving crime.
Though I’m almost certain Elias has turned on me, I still need proof. I pull out my cellphone and text Carter that he’s to come to the office immediately.
Carter’s going to do some surveillance for me. I need to know who Elias has been dealing with from the Serrato organization. Once that’s known, I can begin to plan how to get rid of Elias and how to end this shit with the Serrato’s.
Thirty
Charli
I’m patiently waiting for Devlin to come up to his bedroom for the night. He doesn’t know I’m here, but I’m not going to search him
out. Between the hotel, his security company, and his illegal business, the man has a crazy busy schedule. He’ll make it up here eventually, and when he does, it’ll be when he’s ready to retire for the night—meaning no business-related interruptions.
The light is off, and I am standing near the large windows, staring out at the city. I’d barely slept last night, and today had been a blur as I’d sorted out all the chaos going on inside my head. Thankfully, I’ve finally come to a decision about what I’m going to do. It wasn’t easy to get to this point, and it took a lot of soul-searching.
My need for independence comes from my childhood. No surprise there. But the big revelation was the fact that all this time I haven’t been trying to prove anything to myself. I’ve been trying to prove to everyone else that I am capable. All the doubts people had about me as a child, the expectation of seeing me fail, it’s haunted me throughout my life. My drive to succeed on my own is my way of proving to everyone that I can do it. That I don’t need help.
Once I’d realized that, I asked myself who I’m proving myself to now? The doubters are in the past, and the people in my present aren’t expecting me to fail. They want me to succeed. Better yet, they want to be there for me to make certain that I don’t fail.
Yes, Devlin doesn’t want me riding the subway. But not because he thinks I can’t handle it. No, his reasoning is because of safety. And frankly, I can’t blame him. Nobody can predict who they’re going to sit next to on those cars, or if someone’s going to follow them when they exit the car, or possibly try to steal their purse, or worse… This is New York after all. I’ve lived on these streets and witnessed the worst of human nature.
All he’s asked of me is to take a cab or let his driver take me from point A to point B. Hell, he even suggested my own car. He believes I’m capable of driving these congested streets. He just doesn’t want me in a large crowd where anything can happen. Nor does he have a problem with my job at the library, and I can go out with Keagan and still do other things with my day. He’s not asking me to live in the penthouse twenty-four/seven. He’s just asking me to be safe when I am out and about.
I remind myself that with a target on my back, Devlin’s lax attitude about my outings will change, and he will want to hover more. Can I handle that? I don’t see why not. As long as I can still live my life and do the things that I enjoy, what does it matter if I accept his help here and there? If I’m not feeling suffocated, I think I could be happy here. And if I do start feeling like it’s getting to be too much, I’m sure Devlin will find a way to back off. Isn’t that what relationships are all about? Compromise? He’s already proven that he’ll do what it takes to make me happy.
With a shake of my head, I turn and sit down on the bed, setting my phone near my hip. I’ve been really bull-headed lately. I regret that, but at least it’s not too late to fix things.
I glance at the phone in the moonlight. I’ve already typed out a long text for him to read, because there’s no way I’m going to be able to vocalize it all. I also don’t want to make him stand there while I type everything that I’ve been thinking. It’s all prepared and ready for him to read.
Now, I just have to wait until he shows up. I hadn’t counted on the wait being so excruciatingly long though. I’m anxious to officially begin our lives together, but we can’t do that until we make it past this one last hurdle.
It takes another hour before the bedroom door opens and the light switches on. When Devlin catches sight of me sitting on the bed, he freezes in the middle of unfastening his tie from his neck. He stands just within the doorway, his eyes glued to me with a keen alertness.
I rise to my feet and offer a tentative smile.
His hand slowly lowers, leaving the tie loosened around his neck. He walks further into the room, and then he waits with watchful eyes.
This is all up to me now, and I approach him and hold out the phone.
His eyes search mine before he accepts it, and his eyes lower to read the text.
I have the message memorized by heart since I’ve read it over a hundred times today, perfecting it for when he reads it.
All my life everyone has doubted me. I’ve become accustomed to always proving that I am capable of all that I do. What I came to realize is that I don’t have anything to prove. Not to you and not to Keagan. You all believe in me, and there’s no reason for me to think otherwise. My head is clearer now, and I am ready to move forward—with us. I want to be in your life Devlin. I accept you as you are and all that comes with you—the good and the bad. All that I ask is that you accept me—stubbornly flawed as I am, and when I need to branch out further into this world, I ask that you support me with that endeavor. Yes, I realize that being with you will come with a cost, one that pertains to my safety. As long as I can still live my life and enjoy it, that’s all that matters. What I can’t handle is living a life without you. I can’t envision it, and I never want that to become a reality. If you’ll have me, I’m yours. Forever.
Devlin’s expression has shifted to one filled with great emotion, and his eyes lift to mine. He signs, I love you.
My lips part as my heart leaps inside my chest. He loves me! He loves me and told me in the most meaningful way that he ever could. “I love you, too,” I say out loud, knowing his eyes will light up like they always do when I share my voice with him.
His reaction is exactly as I expected, and he strides over and pulls me into his arms, his lips claiming mine in a kiss filled with pent-up longing and tenderness. I’ve missed his taste, the stroke of his tongue, the way his kisses make me weak in the knees.
Devlin reluctantly pulls back before the kiss can grow out of control, and I watch as he draws in a deep breath and exhales. His eyes lock on mine. “We have a lot to talk about, and it can’t wait.”
I nod in agreement, smiling. “I’m staying the night, so we have…plenty of time for later.”
He gives me a rakish smile, letting me know that ‘later’ will most certainly happen. Then, his expression sobers, and he motions for me to sit on the bed. After I take a seat, he settles next to me.
I tilt my head and wait to see what he’s going to say.
He grimaces, and I watch his jaw flex. “The last thing I want to do is lay out the reality of our future, but it needs to be done,” he says, looking resolved.
“I agree.”
He nods and rubs his jaw. “There’s always going to be a possible threat. It won’t ever go away, Charli. If you stay—” I put a hand on his arm to stop him, and he politely waits.
“I will stay,” I say firmly.
He takes my hand from his forearm and brings my fingers to his lips, kissing them tenderly. “There’s always going to be someone watching you—someone I trust when I’m not around. They won’t hinder anything that you do, and most of the time, you won’t even know they’re there. I don’t want to suffocate you, but I want precautions in place.”
I nod. “I…” I frown and search my memory for how to articulate the word. “I expected this.”
His eyes search mine intently. “You’re okay with it?”
“As long as it isn’t…obvious.”
“I’ll make certain of it.” He visibly hesitates, indecision warring on his face. “But the subway, Charli…”
I begin to laugh.
He looks at me with bewilderment.
“A cab is fine. Or a car,” I add. “But no Aiden,” I quickly say firmly. I don’t want to be driven around.
Suspicion momentarily flares in his eyes until he realizes I’m serious. “I can accept that.”
I wait to see if he has anything else to say.
“I meant it, Charli. Make this our home. I need you and the light that surrounds you. I’m not whole unless you’re with me,” he says with painful sincerity.
I place my hand over his heart, feeling it steadily beating beneath my palm. I peer up at him. “You fill places in me that I didn’t know were there. You complete me, Devlin Kade.”
/> He reaches for me and presses a soft kiss to my forehead before pulling back so he can peer into my eyes. “I love you. I always hated the thought of those words, but now I can’t say them enough.”
I give him a glowing smile. “I think we’re well on our way to a new beginning.”
His expression unexpectedly tenses. “Charli, the threat needs to be neutralized before we can really move forward. That bomb, it was meant for you. Once he’s been handled, we can move forward with everything that you want, but for now, I want to minimize you being a target as much as I can.”
“You said ‘he.’” I look at him questioningly. He knows who placed the bomb?
“I’m almost certain but currently awaiting proof.” He shakes his head before I can ask anything further. “You don’t want details, Charli. I don’t want that part of my life to taint what we have. I don’t ever want to discuss the details of my business with you,” he says seriously.
I can handle that. “Deal,” I say. I wouldn’t want to hear about it anyway. The less I hear, the better. I won’t ignore what he does or pretend he doesn’t do it, but I don’t need to discuss it with him. He’s right, it shouldn’t touch what’s between us.
I tilt my head, feeling playful. “I’m ready for later,” I say to him.
“Fuck yes,” he says before he sweeps me into his arms and tosses me into the center of the bed, causing me to break out into giggles that are soon smothered by his lips.
Thirty-one
Devlin
This is what I’ve been waiting for the moment I’d realized someone was after Charli. I’m currently en route to a secured warehouse. Tobias is at the wheel, and I’m dressed in disguise as he maneuvers the beat-up car through the New York traffic.
Within twenty-four hours of Carter’s surveillance, we had a name. Before Elias could see it coming, Carter and a few of my men cornered Serrato’s man—a lieutenant, and worked him over while demanding information on the bomb. He knew about it, but Serrato and his close-knit crew certainly hadn’t. What the man hadn’t considered was that the blame could be aimed directly at Serrato. In a panic to save his own ass, he’d spewed Elias’s name and answered all the questions my men had asked. I had my proof.
Caught in the Devil's Snare Page 24