“It felt like home to me. Books never judge and they’re always there. They can’t hurt you.”
“Or break your heart like certain cheating boyfriends in the past, right?”
“Something like that.”
Matt pulled her closer to him and held her in a warm embrace. “Sweetie, you have to open up your heart again. You have so much life left to live and I hate seeing you alone. Besides, hanging out with a beautiful woman all of the time isn’t exactly helping me pick up any hotties in this town.”
“This old river town has hotties?” she teased. “And what beautiful woman have you been hanging out with?” An all too familiar twinge of jealousy snuck up on her. Matt should find a nice girl to settle down with. Someone like her.
“You’re funny. You, my dear, are the only beautiful woman I hang out with around here. And the few hotties I’ve seen aren’t really what I’m looking for. Forget I mentioned it. Although, lately I’ve had to fish in a bigger pond. I can’t seem to get my hands on the one thing I truly want. I needed to branch out.”
“Really?” She toed the mix of river rock and sand along the shore. “Where is this bigger pond?”
“River Jewel Resort.”
“No way! You’re hanging out at that fancy hotel now? You swore you’d never.” Olivia stepped back and teased. She could only imagine the rich, elegant women he was meeting there. If she was honest, she’d admit it felt like she’d been socked in the gut. How did she not know he’d been hanging out up there? Apparently, they both had secrets.
When the River Jewel Resort first opened an hour and a half north of Salem Ridge, it drew a ton of wealthy customers who passed through town for local wines and souvenirs. Most of them were people who the townspeople thought to be quite snooty. Based on the idle gossip that floated around, she wasn’t really interested in joining anyone at the resort. Olivia had heard the grand resort was capable of creating magical memories for all who stayed there, but she didn’t believe it. Even though she’d lived in the paranormal town of Salem Ridge all of her life, she still couldn’t believe a building anywhere could make dreams come true for people. She’d bet Matt had had all of his fantasies fulfilled and then some. Fantasies that she longed to fulfill for him.
“I’ve only been going up there for a few months now, but I’ve seen incredible things.”
“Such as?” Olivia shivered as a breeze blew across her back.
“You’ll think I’m crazy.” Matt turned away, and took a giant breath.
“I could never think you were crazy. You should know me better than that.”
He paused a moment and seemed to be gauging his next words carefully. “Olivia, I wish I could explain it to you.” He shook his head. “It’s something you have to see for yourself. All I know is, a lot of miserable people go through those doors and only happy people come back out. Everything people have been saying about it is true.”
“Don’t tell me you believe the hype?”
Matt shrugged. “I’ve seen things even you wouldn’t believe. I didn’t tell you because I wanted to make sure the stories were true.”
“Oh? What kind of stories?”
Matt reached for her hand and led her towards the floating dock. After they were seated on the aged, wooden planks, he started trying to verbalize his experiences. “Olivia, that place is magical. That’s the only way I can think of to describe it.”
She had never seen such an enthralled look in Matt’s eyes before. There was something new and lively about him when he spoke of the River Jewel Resort. In fact, his eyes reminded her of the hot, summer nights when moonlight would dance across the small waves of the Ohio, glittering like a million floating diamonds.
“Well, it must be something special if you, an incredibly talented romance author can’t think of anything better than ‘magical’. I can see it in your eyes. It’s just a resort. I’m sure with the kind of money they charge, they must have one helluva spa and massage salon, but magic? Really? And if everyone is so happy when they leave, why haven’t you found anyone who makes you happy yet?”
Matt laughed. “Yeah, the salon is amazing and what makes you think I haven’t found my happiness? I can sit on the gambling boat and have my pick of any available woman. In fact, it’s become my favorite place lately. When I walk on that boat, it’s almost as if they are there to serve me and only me.”
“Oh, wow!” Olivia tossed her head back laughing “You, my friend are hot, but I think you might be getting a bit of a big head.”
Matt wiggled his eyebrows and nudged her with his elbow. “I know how it sounds, but I’m serious. You have to experience it for yourself.”
She ruffled Matt’s already unruly brown hair and looped her arm through his. “I’m glad you’re having a great time, Matt. You deserve it.”
“What about you? If anyone needs to find happiness, it’s you. You’ve been alone for too long, Olivia. You have a huge heart, you’re smart, beautiful and kind. Instead of wasting all of that on temporary lovers you should be married to someone fabulous and having lots of smart, beautiful babies. Someone who truly loves you for you.”
Olivia knew he meant well, but she just wasn’t ready. Besides, who would want her now? Star of the latest town scandal, plus being officially unemployed, her reputation didn’t exactly scream, “Pick me! I’ll rock your world!” Besides, if she couldn’t find the nerve to tell the man she truly loved that she loved him, what was the point of looking for anyone else?
“Sometime.”
“You always say that. I love you and I feel it’s my duty to be honest with you. Get over it. Ever since Randy died, you’ve had a wall up and all you’ve done is float from guy to guy, mostly at the library.”
“So? They need my help. Besides, I’m good at what I do.”
“Sweetheart, it’s time to let go of the past and open up your heart. Make your own happy ending. Every guy out there isn’t worthless. Yes, you’ve met a few assholes, and yes, you’ve been hurt. But I think you do it to yourself. Don’t be angry. I understand, I really do. The pain you’ve been feeling, the emptiness, it means you’re alive. I get it. This bravado you show to the world isn’t a flaw. You’ve had a lot to cope with. But, it’s time to find that one in a million soul mate instead of hooking up with people you have no intention of ever loving, for random quickies on campus. Whether you admit it or not, you know I’m right. Now, let’s get you home so you can clean your house. Again.” They laughed, falling into step with each other as Matt wrapped his arm around her shoulders.
Chapter Two
“Not enough pay. Not enough hours. Not enough clothing.” She tossed the red marker across the room. “This newspaper is full of shitty jobs. There has to be something in this town I’m qualified to do.”
“Have you considered starting your own tantric-tutoring classes at the Y?” Matt waved his napkin as Olivia threw him an evil glare.
“Hardy-har-har. Are you ever going to let that go? It happened over a month ago.”
“I know, but I still wish I had been there to see it. I’m afraid the images in my mind of you and the Professor rolling around in your office just don’t do the real thing justice.”
“Perv.”
“You know it. I wouldn’t be surprised if the old man still sits around picturing the two of you getting each other off while he jerks off in that disgusting office of his.”
“Really? Did you have to go there? I feel dirty just thinking about it. Gross. I still can’t believe I let my libido take control of me.”
“Just kidding, babe. Tell you what, if you promise to go to River Jewel while I’m in Chicago doing actual work this weekend, I’ll stop teasing you about the senior-shag when I return.”
Olivia rolled her eyes. “Liar. You’re enjoying this.”
“Well, yeah, but I promise to stop. Besides, I overheard someone last night say that they’re putting a bookstore in at the Resort, on the third floor. That tells me they’re hiring and who better to run a bookstore
than you?”
“No way.” She was speechless. A bookstore! It had been years since she’d been in an actual bookstore. Working at the library, reading Matt’s books and the ease of online shopping had supported her need for books for years. To be employed at a shop full of her favorite things would be amazing! Just the thought of working in one made her panties wet. For Olivia, books had always been everything. The way they smelled when one opened them and the feel of them in her hands was like a drug. This was one of the many reasons she’d loved her job at the library. She could be closest to the things that made her happy.
One night after the library closed, her love of sex and fiction came together in an amazing way. She’d snuck in with a guy and they’d made love on top of one of the long, mahogany tables. Olivia had never felt more alive than that night. She’d been surrounded by new and old authors, their famous works standing at attention, surrounding them. Their stories of happily-ever-afters calling to her as she milked every drop from her ex’s shaft and after that, screwing in the library had become the only thing that came close to satisfying her.
Her fiancé, Randy, had never been into anything she wanted or needed and for a long time, she’d thought it was her fault. Olivia had tried to be everything Randy Davis desired and it took her a long time to realize that no one could have made him happy. His insatiability rivaled hers but he preferred to satisfy his needs with other people behind Olivia’s back. If she had known what he was doing, she never would’ve stayed with him for as long as she did. Looking back, she had wasted so much time and she’d cried enough tears to fill the Ohio River. If only she had met Matt sooner. Maybe their lives would’ve been different. Straddling Matt on a library table, riding him until they were both raw and exhausted…
“Hellooo. Earth to Olivia.” Matt snapped his fingers in her face. “Where’d you go? Oh, you were thinking about Tim the quarterback again, weren’t you?”
Busted. “Not exactly. Okay, maybe.”
“You were! Library sex flashbacks? I’m so jealous!” He teased. “I’ve never known anyone to hold on to a memory of an ex like you have.” Did she sense a bit of real jealousy in his tone?
Maybe it was a fantasy of you that I was thinking about. She’d seen how well-endowed Matt was. Helping him get into and out of the shower safely every other day had played a huge part in her need to be taken by a man, any man. Thinking back, she should’ve spoken up sooner. Maybe their lives would be different if she had. An author and a librarian were a perfect match. She’d give him plenty of inspiration for his books and he’d fulfill all of her fantasies. But what if she was wrong? He’d never even tried to kiss her. Did he find her repulsive?
“He isn’t technically an ex. And that sex was the best I’ve ever had. Too bad he flaked the next day. I can’t stand a guy who doesn’t love adventure.”
“Not all guys can handle your appetite, my dear. You just haven’t found the right one yet.”
But she had and she was too chicken to say a word.
“Remember last week when you said you wanted me to be happy? I’ve thought a lot about what you said. If I could find a guy who loves books as much as I do, I mean really loves books and if he would just fuck me senseless every now and then, I’d be happy. I don’t need any long-term commitments, just a library buddy.”
She tried testing the waters to see what Matt would say. Did he believe a fling was all she wanted? Would he call her bluff? When he looked at her, she saw something in his eyes. Was it love? Lust? Or was it just her imagination?
Matt’s choked and blew warm liquid all over Olivia’s table. Coughing and sputtering, he shook his head side to side. Olivia couldn’t remember a time she’d ever seen her friend’s face so red. When Matt spoke, it was punctuated by gusts of laughter. “What? Are you serious? A library buddy? I thought you were going to think about finding a more permanent partner.”
“What? Did I embarrass you? You always talk about fucking, why can’t I? And not necessarily just a library buddy. I mean, after all, I no longer work there. But a man who gets aroused from the scent of a book, who wants to do more than read the scenes playing out in real life, a man who will live out those scenes with me once in a while, that’s what I want.”
Matt clapped and whistled. “Finally! Well said, gorgeous! Since it’s been weeks since your last library romp, I’d say you’re long overdue. My advice? Get your hot ass out to the River Jewel Resort and apply for a job at that bookstore. Even if they’re not hiring, you can book a room and relax for the weekend. Maybe you’ll find another bookworm who shares your passion just wandering the gardens in search of a leading lady for his own fantasies.”
There it was. She’d given him every opportunity to show her he was interested. Obviously he wasn’t. After Matt left, Olivia opened her laptop and pulled up the website for the River Jewel. “He’s right, it looks amazing. Oh, the things I could do there. With the right person, of course. If only he’d go with me.”
* * * *
Matt had no idea how much longer he could keep his secret. As he sat staring at the walls in his lonely home, his thoughts drifted to Victoria Morris. His ex-girlfriend knew everything and when she’d finally put the pieces together, their break-up hadn’t been pretty. The truth hurts and Matt felt the sting of her words even now, a month after their fight.
“Did you think I was too dumb to figure out where you’ve been going?”
“No. I never thought you were dumb, I thought you didn’t care. You’re never here, Victoria. Why should I be?”
“So that gives you the right to be out at the River Jewel hooking up with random strangers and gambling?”
“I wasn’t hooking up with random strangers.”
“Okay, so I misspoke. You were out there with her again, weren’t you? You disgust me. You need serious help. You sit here with your books and computer, virtually ignoring me while I’m here and as soon as I leave, you run straight into that woman’s arms, don’t you?”
Matt couldn’t even look her in the eye. Victoria was drop dead gorgeous and any guy would be one lucky bastard to have her. Any guy but him. He cared for her but he didn’t love her. He couldn’t love her. She would never be the one. Guilt ripped through him like a sharp dagger and he knew he deserved to feel like shit. He never should’ve started a relationship with a woman he knew he could never love. He loved another woman, and if sneaking around a fancy resort was the only way he could have her, so be it.
“She’ll never love you, but I did. You really blew it.”
Matt looked at Victoria with her piercing blue eyes full of tears, really saw her, and saw what he’d done. He’d broken her heart and he’d never meant to.
“You should go.”
“Why? So you can go back out there to be with your fantasy woman? How does she do it for you? You prefer sneaking around, pretending like the world doesn’t exist. If that’s what you want, fine. You can have at it. But when she finds out what you’ve really been doing, don’t come crawling back to me, Matt Osgood. You’re disgusting, and someday, she’ll see you for what you truly are.”
That last argument with Victoria replayed over and over again in his mind. Reaching for his drink, he took a long swallow of the domestic beer he’d been nursing and for the millionth time, wondered how he’d ever find the balls to tell Olivia he loved her. He couldn’t. They’d been friends for so long and had shared almost everything with each other. He knew of her escapades and she knew about most of his. If Olivia ever found out about the woman he’d been seeing at the River Jewel Resort she’d never look at him the same way again. Matt wasn’t afraid of much, but that sobering thought chilled him to the bone.
When Olivia’s fiancé Randy died, Matt had stayed with Olivia for weeks as she mourned his death. But it wasn’t just that he’d died at a young age. Randy Davis had been shot by his lover’s crazed ex-boyfriend. The news that he’d been cheating on her the night he’d died was on the lips of every gossipmonger in town. Olivia had been too
ashamed to show her face anywhere. Matt had stayed by her side comforting her even as his own thoughts and desires tortured him every time they touched. He wanted to be hers. Sometimes the ache was unbearable. As he sat alone, he drifted back to one of the many times he’d held Olivia in his arms. He was the loyal, compassionate friend whenever she needed him and that time was no different.
“It isn’t your fault, sweetheart.” Matt had whispered as he’d held her in his arms after the news of Randy’s death had spread through town. Everything about Olivia was perfect. Matt ached to tell Olivia how he felt. But it was never the right time. Especially when she was sobbing over some fool. The urge to shake her, make her notice him, had to be suppressed. He knew he had to wait, give her time to heal. The only thing Matt could do was be there for her and he was.
“I can’t believe I was such a fool, Matt.” He thought she was so beautiful, even when she was crying. The way her cheeks blushed, he wished he could kiss those tears away.
“You weren’t. He was. You deserve so much better, Liv. I hate seeing you like this. It’s killing me.” She shot him an evil glare. “Okay, wrong choice of words, but it’s so hard to watch you beat yourself up over a guy who screwed you over. It’s time you took control of your life back. That bastard doesn’t deserve another moment’s thought or another tear from you.”
Olivia had looked up at him with the most beautiful eyes he’d ever seen, the eyes he saw every night in his dreams “You’re right. I need to get back to work, get out there and enjoy life. Maybe in a few days, okay?”
True to her word, Olivia got back out there with a vengeance. She’d been having one-on-one sessions with college guys ever since.
“I just want it to be fun and done. No strings. What better place than that gorgeous library surrounded by all of those arousing books? At night, when it’s silent, I can almost hear the romance books cheering with approval. I get to live out their stories and write some of my own using my body. If only I could find a guy like the men in your books, Matt.”
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